July 25, 2003

Whoo Hoo!

The site meter just kicked over past the 2K mark.... (at this rate I'll catch up with Tiger sometime in 2017!)

Everyone give a big welcome to Paul of Sanity's Edge, who is blogging in my comments today....

Posted by Susie at July 25, 2003 08:17 AM | TrackBack

Speaking of tigers, did you know that a bengal tiger can weigh up to 575 pounds? Well, they can.

Welcome to Susies's comments. I'm Paul and I'll be your host here in the comments for a while. If you'd like to talk about anything, just let me know. I can also answer questions for you. Don't be shy, just step right up. Don't be ashamed about anything I'm a professional. I've heard it all.

Posted by: Paul at July 25, 2003 08:39 AM

Paul! Welcome! Make yourself comfy....There's beer in that little fridge over there, and later I'll order a pizza for you. Let me know if you need anything....

Posted by: Susie at July 25, 2003 08:46 AM

I pulled up outside the office a while ago and there was this roofing truck parked in front. As I was walking into the office, the guy said, "Hey...do you want some Playboy magazines?" He was in his 40s and clean cut. "A customer gave them to me...I have kids, I can't have these things in my truck." He was already walking towards me with a stack of them. "No, I told him. No thanks." He looked dejected. "What am I going to do with them?"

I suggested, "Why don't you take them out in the woods and hide them in your fort." He just stared at me as I walked away. Apparently, he lived in the city all his life.

Posted by: Paul at July 25, 2003 08:46 AM

You should have told him about your toe....

Posted by: Susie at July 25, 2003 08:54 AM

Dog-eating catfish dies


BERLIN (Reuters) - A giant catfish that ate a dog and terrorised a German lake for years has washed up dead, but the legend of "Kuno the Killer" lives on.

Kuno became a local celebrity in 2001 when he sprang from the waters of the Volksgarten park lake to swallow a Dachshund puppy whole. He evaded repeated attempts to capture him.
Wow. How would you like to see a giant catfish hop out of the water and eat your dog?

Posted by: Paul at July 25, 2003 09:00 AM

It's great to be here in Susie's comments. Anybody here from Baltimore?....ok we're safe.

Q. Do you know why witches don't wear panties?

A. Better grip on the broom!

Heh. Remember to tip your bartenders and waitresses.

Posted by: Paul at July 25, 2003 09:08 AM

You guys must be alive...I hear breathing out there.

A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination. They start talking as the doctor is examining his eyes. In the middle of their conversation, the doctor casually says, "You need to stop masturbating."
The guy replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?"
The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."

Hey…is this thing on?

Posted by: Paul at July 25, 2003 09:34 AM

LOL! That was a good one!

Posted by: Susie at July 25, 2003 09:41 AM

I've gotten a lot of email today telling me that Bill's comments suck since my departure. That'll teach him.

Meanwhile, here is Sussie's comments I'm holding the line trying not to work blue.

Whetever you do, don't forget the BLOGATHON this weekend. I can't do links in here, but I'll post a reminder on my blog (if I still have one) later. If you don't contribute-your an asshole.

Stick around, I'll be doing some dramatic readings later.

Posted by: Paul at July 25, 2003 10:28 AM

The dangers of comment section blogging:

No spell check
It's hard to proof read (your/you're)

Posted by: Paul at July 25, 2003 10:31 AM


Posted by: Susie at July 25, 2003 10:37 AM

So let me get this straight - Paul steals my idea, leaves my comments section and comes over here so everyone can make fun of me? Do I have that about right, ya bunch of meanasses?

Posted by: Bill at July 25, 2003 10:55 AM

You're a sick, sick man Paul.

Who the hell turns down free porn!?!

Posted by: Collins at July 25, 2003 10:58 AM

You kicked him out, Bill, and it's so....quiet...over at HIS blog....

Posted by: Susie at July 25, 2003 11:02 AM

Playboy's not REAL porn. I subscribed for years; the articles are actually good. Some of their interviews (John Lennon, Robert De Niro) were the best ever published. Hell, my wife reads playboy. Besides, taking porn from a stranger is kind of disgusting.

Posted by: Paul at July 25, 2003 11:03 AM

OOOHHHHH. Bill's here. I feel like my dad just pulled in the driveway and I have to hide the beer and open all the windows!

Posted by: Paul at July 25, 2003 11:05 AM

That bastard evicted me!

Posted by: Paul at July 25, 2003 11:06 AM


Old stuffed freaks of nature for sale!

LONDON - Stuffed kittens dressed in bridal gear, a two-headed lamb, a four-legged duck: for more than a century, Mr. Potter's Museum of Curiosities has been amusing and horrifying visitors.

On Sept. 23 and 24 auctioneers Bonhams will sell the collection of around 10,000 items at the museum site in Bolventor, southwest England.

"Some people say that all those stuffed animals aping humans is a horrible idea. But you have to admire the skill," added Baddeley, who described one tableau of a monkey riding a goat as "pure Salvador Dali."

In the Kittens' Wedding tableau, 20 stuffed kittens are posed in clothes of the style of the late 1890s. With strict attention to detail, Mr. Potter furnished the bridesmaids with frilly bloomers.

There are rats in a gambling den and Spot the dog which caught the rats, squirrels playing cards, a mummified hand, a hen which laid 462 eggs in one year, a classroom of rabbits and a scuffling iron used by smugglers to make false hoof marks to confuse pursuers.
Get your checkbooks out! I especially like the part about the stuffed monkey riding a stuffed goat being “pure Salvador Dali.”

Posted by: Paul at July 25, 2003 11:09 AM

Well I have to go to work now, so you boys play nice, and don't throw the pepperonis at the ceiling fan this time or no more pizza for you....

Posted by: Susie at July 25, 2003 11:10 AM

Ok, I've got stuff to do, I'll be back when I can. Meanwhile:

A frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a glass of wine. The frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well.
The frenchie asks the landlord, "What is that dirty camel doing in here?"

The Landlord pulls a cricket bat out from behind the bar hits the camel in the head and the camel gives the landlord oral pleasure.

The Landlord looks at the frenchie and says "You want a go?" to which the frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the head."

Posted by: Paul at July 25, 2003 11:20 AM

Don't mind me, I'm just here to fix the plumbing.

So which toilet backed up this time? Uh, never mind, I think I can tell.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at July 25, 2003 11:25 AM


I never stole your idea, I stole your stolen idea!

Posted by: Paul at July 25, 2003 12:52 PM

It looks like Collins didn't win Frank's contest. I pitty the fool that tells Collins he's a loser. He seems like the type to track you down.

Posted by: Paul at July 25, 2003 01:06 PM

Bill lost too. I hope they both take it hard do something nutty.

Posted by: Paul at July 25, 2003 01:07 PM

And do something nutty. Many a pitfall to comment blogging.

Did you guys at least get lots of hits from the contest, or did you run around in that scavenger hunt for nothing?

Posted by: Paul at July 25, 2003 01:11 PM

Bill's protesting the results. Will we have a judges inquiry, or will he be blown off as a windbag? I hope he gets the inquiry. Keep crying foul! The people are behind you.

Posted by: Paul at July 25, 2003 01:41 PM

I like to think I'm one of the people, and I'm not behind him. He lost fair and square.

Posted by: Victor at July 25, 2003 02:39 PM

Look Victor,

The man is a shell of his former self. This contest has been the cause of great stress to Bill. He confided in me that he has been pooping water since he got the bad news. He was counting on it, and now his world is in tatters. Pooping water Victor, is not pleasant. The least you could do is feign support for him in his time of need. I'm not asking that it be genuine.

The poor man is in distress. Does the human race know nothing of mercy? Mercy for a man pooping water?

Posted by: Paul at July 25, 2003 02:54 PM

Yeah, Collins keeps threatening me in my comments (well he did it once). So of course I'll egg him on until he hunts me down and breaks my leg, then I'll sue. It's the American way, y'all.

Speaking of my comments, they're like a barren wasteland. I realize they're not working half the time (either because Enetation's crappy or I'm being sabotaged by the aforementioned Collins) but it's kind of depressing when all you hear is your own voice, echoing, echoing...

But I'm at over 100 hits now. Probably fifty of which are me, but oh well.

Posted by: Tim the Michigander at July 25, 2003 03:18 PM

Well Tim, I'll tell you. As long as you're not pooping water, you're ahead of the game.

Posted by: Paul at July 25, 2003 03:28 PM

Well, my shift is about to end. I never signed up for two shows a day.

One day George W. Bush and Dick Cheney walk into a diner. A waitress walks up to them and asks if she can take their order. Bush leans close to her and says, "Honey, can I have a quickie?"
The waitress is appalled and yells at the President about women's rights and storms away.

Cheney then says to Bush, "George, its pronounced 'quiche'."

Posted by: Paul at July 25, 2003 03:39 PM

Last call guys. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here. Susie thanks for having me over. I'm back to my own blog, which is probably dying of dry rot by now.

Posted by: Paul at July 25, 2003 03:43 PM

You think if i trek all the way to the barren wasteland of michigan that all im gonna do is break your leg? You'll have a date with the bottom of lake superior, my friend.

So Tim, I want you to remember me as you see me now. Filled with murderous rage!

Posted by: Collins at July 25, 2003 03:48 PM

"quiche" LOL, I'll have to use that one.

Posted by: Jennifer at July 25, 2003 04:05 PM

Hey paul, if you need another blog to live in, mines always open. I always need something interesting to add.

Posted by: Rachael at July 25, 2003 06:07 PM

Yeah right Collins, like you could ever whup me. I'm a Michigander, you're from Long Island which isn't even a state, you guys are just a pathetic protrusion off New York City.
You come here and see lakes the size we got, your head will explode when we explain to you that they're freshwater. Then I won't even have to beat you up.

Posted by: Tim the Michigander at July 25, 2003 10:18 PM

Oh wait, I'm supposed to be sucking up to Collins. Crap, I forgot...

Susie would you delete that last comment, pretty please? You owe me one because I put you on my blogroll twice.

Posted by: Tim the Michigander at July 25, 2003 10:19 PM

THIS is why bloggers rool.

Posted by: feste at July 28, 2003 04:51 PM

Is it safe to come out of my corner yet?

Posted by: Tiger at July 29, 2003 01:06 AM
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