August 06, 2003


Tuning Spork has two terrific new posts today, but the one nearer and dearer to my heart is the fisking he gives the government for taxing cigarettes... I think he missed an important point regarding this statement:

Bill Clinton's favorite excuse, when calling for federal tobacco taxes, was to claim that it would keep cigarettes out of the mouths of The Children(TM).

The Children ™ are most able to afford these draconian taxes because they have the most disposable income! And The Children ™ have friends over 18 who will buy cigarettes for them (just as they have friends over 21 who wil buy them beer), so the fact that my local Walgreens has a sign proclaiming, and a policy mandating, that it cards for cigarettes if you look under 40 is nothing more than harrassment!

I can hear the anti-smokers now....blah blah blah second-hand blah smelly blah allergies blah blah...

So you know what? I think that women with fat legs and vericose veins who wear shorts are sickening to look at. So we should tax the sale of all shorts to pay for the treatment of pregnancy. Wait, let's tax shorts to pay for abortions to prevent vericose veins! Problem solved!

I'm done... for now....

Posted by Susie at August 6, 2003 10:17 AM

Excellent point, Susie! And let's not forget to tax every cellphone call to pay for the therapy we need after bouts of road rage! "HANG UP AND DRIVE!!!" mwheh

Posted by: Tuning Spork at August 6, 2003 11:56 AM

Great rant. Actually we could just tax the fat people. Make them weigh in on April 15th and pay per pound overweight. (I don't really think this is a good idea but it follows their logic perfectly.) I've blogged this very subject a few times and actually got quoted in a Chicago newspaper about cigarette taxes just two weeks ago. (yeah me) I've also testified before a federal subcommittee basically telling them where they can put their cigarette tax. Some idiot wanted the federal tax increased to $4 per pack and another person wanted them made illegal (she was not a pound less than 250 by the way). These smoker-haters have to be stopped.

Posted by: Trigger at August 7, 2003 01:54 AM