November 26, 2003

Braless Blogging

Heather brought it up, Harvey elaborated, and now I'm continuing to move the discussion on a tangent.

As a woman who has flunked the pencil test since she was 16 years old, wearing a brassiere is a necessary evil for me. I hate it, but I do it--at least in public. But once I'm home, the bra goes. Ah, the relief! The unfettered freedom! I'm blogging braless right now. I would estimate that 90 to 95% of my blogging has been braless, because I usually do it when I get up in the morning or after I get home from work late at night. Yes, I'm usually wearing my nightie when I blog. There's a running joke about women and shoes--lots of shoes. I only have two pairs of shoes I wear regularly. Shoes don't do it for me. I am a lingerie junkie. Silk, satin, cotton, flannel--name a fabric, I have half a dozen nightgowns made from it. In winter I layer them--a long sleeved flannel gown over a thin satin-and-lace one. I have several drawers full of panties, chemises and teddies. And I have probably two dozen bras--not one of which is comfortable to wear.

Why can't they make a comfortable bra for women who flunk the pencil test? Is the basic engineering really that difficult? If it's pretty and lacey it's about as supportive as the Emperor at an A.N.S.W.E.R. rally. If it supports, it looks like something they used to restrain the less lucid inmates at Bedlam, and is about as comfortable as Ted Rall at a Dittohead convention. Don't even mention the "underwire" to me. How is a curved piece of metal digging into my ribs supposed to provide support to my breasts? Maybe an undernet, or an undersaucer, or even an underplate, but a wire????? pu-lease.....

Someone, somewhere, needs to design a bra that is pretty, supportive, and comfortable. When they do, they'll make a fortune (even if I'm the only one that buys it....)

UPDATE: Since there seems to be some confusion as to the meaning of the "pencil test" let me explain: since I am able to hold a pencil against my chest using only my breasts, the latter are large enough to require external supports. If you "pass" the pencil test, you can safely venture out into the world without breast restraints (which are necessary to minimize damage to certain muscles which occurs in those who "flunk" the test if support is eschewed.)

Posted by Susie at November 26, 2003 11:53 AM | TrackBack
Comments

Heh, funny. I think I'd pass the pencil test. I have to wear one because I'm ALWAYS COLD. Otherwise, I don't think anyone'd be the wiser.

hln

Posted by: hln at November 26, 2003 12:02 PM

OK, honest...I'm drawing a blank here. Do you fail the test if the pencil hits the ground, or if it doesn't hit the ground?

Posted by: Victor at November 26, 2003 12:15 PM

If the pencil falls, you pass, and don't have to wear a bra....

Posted by: Susie at November 26, 2003 12:53 PM

Thanks...I was thinking I was the only one who didn't 'grasp' the concept.

Posted by: King of Fools at November 26, 2003 01:19 PM

Why not sew yourself a bra that's layered with silk under flannel under foam rubber under aluminum under lace?

Posted by: Tuning Spork at November 26, 2003 06:25 PM

Hell, I like free range boobies much better than the reined in boobies.

Oh, hell, i just like boobies...

Posted by: J. Fielek at November 26, 2003 07:15 PM

Oh yeah, and Victoria's Secret does make some nice bras (without underwire) for ladies with bigger boobies. Jessica is a D cup and gets her bras there, and they are also available in larger sizes.

You need to go into the store and get fitted -- Jess used to work there, and they are very good at finding the right bra.

Just a suggestion :-)

Posted by: J. Fielek at November 26, 2003 07:20 PM

J. Fielek is forgetting to mention that the "J" stands for "Jess."

Just thought you should know.

Posted by: Victor at November 26, 2003 09:32 PM

And "Josh" actually.

I'm surprised Harvey hasn't commented yet. He must be busy with family time...or he dropped dead when he read this post.

Posted by: Jennifer at November 26, 2003 11:40 PM

Sorry I'm late to the comment party. I read this earlier, but I've had to make half a dozen entries between HQ & Bad Money tonight, so I've been kinda busy. I'm not a fast typer in the first place, and having to do it all one-handed has REALLY slowed me down.

I'm gonna be SO sore tomorrow.

*shrug*

[space][space][space]...

Posted by: Harvey at November 27, 2003 12:39 AM

For a nominal fee, I could be hired to scamper around behind you, holding them up, and pressing them together for maximum perkiness...or maybe I just don't get the pencil thing.

Posted by: Bane at November 27, 2003 02:04 AM

How nominal a fee, Bane? And before you commit yourself, can you stand the smell of popcorn for 12 hours straight?

Posted by: Susie at November 27, 2003 09:17 AM

Forget the nominal fee thing...I don't know what I was thinking when I said that...but 12 hours? Heck, you'll be running off to wash your back in 10 minutes, and only that long if I think about Rosie O'Donnell for the last 8 minutes.

Posted by: Bane at November 27, 2003 12:37 PM

Susie's Boobies! Coming soon to a theatre near you!

Posted by: The Bartender at November 27, 2003 04:11 PM

Susie, please ignore Bane's offer. I'll fondle... uh, support your boobies for free. And unlike SOME trigger-happy minute-men, you KNOW that I'm a "slow load".

12-hours... easy

the 13th hour, well, that'll be a little *ahem* harder.

Posted by: Harvey at November 27, 2003 07:35 PM

Forget the pencil test... I passed the keyboard test.
It was a slow day here.

Posted by: LeeAnn at November 27, 2003 07:55 PM

Okay, LeeAnn, just what the heck is the 'keyboard test'?

My fertile imagination is running rampant -- If your boobies touch the keyboard, if you can hold up a keyboard under your boobies, if you can cover the keyboard with your boobies, if you can type with your nipples (in which case, we need video), or what?

Come on, elaborate!

Posted by: J. Fielek at November 28, 2003 11:27 AM

J.- Yes to all. :) Except the video part.
I am bountiful AND multitalented.
Although not so much as Susie.

Posted by: LeeAnn at November 29, 2003 09:54 AM

I'm sorry, but I have always felt that 'boobies' is the diminutive of 'boobs', of which both are words used by people too timid to say 'tits'...

Glad I got that off my chest. Thank you.

Posted by: Bane at November 29, 2003 11:52 PM

Oh, my. I just flunked the pencil test.

Time to diet.

Posted by: John of Argghhh! at November 30, 2003 10:27 AM

I am profoundly grateful that there isn't the male equivalent of a "pencil test".

Posted by: Zonker at December 1, 2003 05:27 PM

There is a keyboard test for men. You put the edge of your... uh... unit on the tilde (`) key, and then you slap it down across the numbers and post what you get. Here's mine.

`1234567890-

Damned backspace key.

Posted by: Phelps at December 8, 2003 04:52 PM

seing women go braless makes me horney,yea babayyy

Posted by: hatchet wound at December 9, 2003 11:42 AM

damn i love the braless look...jiggle, nipples on hi beams....mmmmmmmmm

Posted by: garcia at January 14, 2004 01:45 PM

there is nothing better than a nice healthy set unfettered by a bra woblling to and fro!

Posted by: blane at January 15, 2004 05:16 PM

kickit!

Posted by: joevacc at January 18, 2004 12:41 AM

You guys are horrible!

(and this is coming from someone who hardly ever wears a bra!)

Posted by: Hannah at January 19, 2004 12:25 PM

I've heard that a comfortable bra is two lips.

Posted by: Lucky at January 21, 2004 01:48 AM

I've heard that the most comfortable bra is two lips....

Posted by: Lucky at January 21, 2004 01:51 AM

I LOVE TO SEE WOMAN WITH OUT BRAS, I AM A BOOBIE-TITTIE-HOOTER-TRYING NOT TO BE MUCH OF A PIG THAT I AM. I JUST LOVE THEM. YOU WOMAN SHOULD BE PROUD OF WHAT YOU HAVE, BIG LITTLE, IT DOES NOT MATTER, THEY ALL LOOK VERY GOOD. I LIKE THEM OLD YOUNG IT DOES NOT MATTER, KEEP THE BRAS OFF LADIES. JUST DONT GET MAD WHEN US GUYS FOAM AT THE MOUTH, SORRY CANT HELP IT.

Posted by: JEFF at April 20, 2004 12:42 PM
Post a comment









Remember personal info?