Why Men Are Just Happier People:
Your last name stays put.The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
One mood, ALL the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45
minutes.
So next time you wonder why the woman in your life is grumpy, review this list....
I actually, really did "laugh out loud" at the thirty second phone conversation one.
Yup, I did. Okay. Gotta go now. See ya. *click*
Posted by: The Commissar at December 11, 2003 09:29 PM45 minutes shopping? Pshaw...give me $20 and 5 minutes at the bargain bin, and Ho Friggin Ho!
Everybody is so happy I even remembered them...
Posted by: Bane at December 11, 2003 09:40 PMChocolate is not just another snack!!!
Posted by: Pixy Misa at December 11, 2003 10:06 PMCaveat: May not apply to metrosexuals.
Posted by: Trey Givens at December 11, 2003 11:00 PMYou almost never have strap problems in public. True, there are adjustments to be made, and if the public is observin' me adjust the crotch of my pants or pull my BVDs outta the crack o' my ass, they get a good show for free, as far as I am concerned. ;)
Posted by: Tiger at December 11, 2003 11:22 PMThis list omits one of the greatest pleasures of manhood:
boobie ogling.
Posted by: Harvey at December 12, 2003 07:41 AMPshaw. Marriages don't plan themselves. owie.
Posted by: GE at December 12, 2003 11:01 AM...and don't you forget it!
Posted by: The Bartender at December 13, 2003 02:52 PMHey, i heard this today ;-)
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
Posted by: Jokes Page! at September 29, 2004 04:22 AM