It was about 11:45 on Wednesday night when I had turned off all the breakers and was ready to head home from the theater. I'd only worked about a six hour shift, but since it was my first day back after being sick I was looking forward to a cup of hot tea and my comfy bed...
Every night as I leave I give each of the four front entry doors a good yank to make sure that they're properly latched. The last door came open. It must not have slammed properly after the last customer. I pushed it tightly closed, and then gave it another yank--and it opened again. Sassenfrassenrassen Cashier! She must have forgotten to lock this one with the little bent wrench thingee we use to lock the doors! Sigh....so much for getting home in time to see the ball drop in Time's Square!
Back inside with me, digging for my keys to unlock the Ticket Booth, where we keep the little bent wrench thingee we use to lock the doors. There was enough light shining in from the deserted parking lot to see what I was doing, so I didn't have to go back into the darkened hallway to the breaker box and turn on the lights. I unlocked the Ticket Booth and went inside. I sat down on the Cashier's chair and pulled open the drawer where we keep the little bent wrench thingee.
The night noises of the theater were very familiar to me. There is the crunchity grating noise that the ice maker makes. There is the occasional gasping hiss from the CO2 lines. There is the steady drip of water from the leaking roof over the concessions counter. A few times there was the unrelenting roaring from the possessed toilets...
I had not, however, previously heard the faint, high-pitched squeak that startled me into dropping the little bent wrench thingee back into the drawer....
I looked up to see long, claw-like fingernails sliding slowing across the glass front window of the Ticket Booth. Half a second ago there had been no one anywhere near the theater. Now there was black-clad figure standing a few inches away from me, only the window separating us. I was too frightened to scream, although I did I gasp in horror--which caused me to go into a coughing fit. I rummaged though my pockets for a tissue, and found one just as I hacked up [deleted: colorful yet disgusting description of viscous bodily fluids common in cold sufferers]. As the spasms subsided, I looked up to see the dark figure patiently waiting, the claw-like nails tapping a rhythmic tattoo on the glass. Unsure of what else to do, I leaned forward to the "speaker" and asked "Can I help you?"
"May I help you," the figure responded in a raspy baritone.
"No--I'll be ok, it's just this cold," I replied. "What can I do for you?"
"What may I do for you," he said.
O-kay...he was correcting my grammar. Got it now. "How may I help you?" I asked.
He nodded abruptly, as if satisfied. "One ticket, please," he said.
Huh. "I'm sorry...we're closed," I managed.
He paused reflectively before responding, "Can I use your phone?"
Naw...too easy. "I'm sorry, I can't let you do that. There's a pay phone across the street," I said.
"I'm really thirsty--can you let me have some water?" he persisted.
"We're closed, I'm sorry," I told him.
"Look, I need to use the men's room. Won't take me a minute..."
I was shaking my head in refusal when the New Year's fireworks started to go off. Startled, the man jerked suddenly just as the headlights of a passing car lit his visage for the first time... It was Evil Glenn!!!!
"You! The Puppy Blender!" I cried out. "You're a vampire and you're trying to get me to invite you in!"
"It seemed the easiest way..." he murmured.
I reached into the drawer for the little bent wrench thingee. "Drat you, Glenn Reynolds!" I muttered as I headed over to the unlocked door. He glided along on the other side of the glass, watching my every move as I used the little bent wrench thingee to lock the last door, and then returned it to the drawer in the Ticket Booth.
"Shoo! Go on! Go home!" I told him through the glass. "You're done here!"
"Planning on spending the night there?" he wondered. "Doesn't look very comfortable..."
"Nope! I'm heading home to hot tea and a comfy bed, so get lost!"
He chuckled evilly. "As soon as you step outside, you know, you're fair game..."
I chuckled evilly back. "I've got a cold. I've spent the last three days drinking homemade garlic soup...."
Posted by Susie at January 2, 2004 01:03 AMC'mon Susie, you know there's no such thing as a vampire robot!
Posted by: Pixy Misa at January 2, 2004 06:30 AMThere are, however, robotic vampires....
Posted by: Susie at January 2, 2004 10:33 AM