The Axis of Weasels seems to have started making noises as if they want on America's good side again. But we Catholics know that forgiveness requires penance. And although it would be satisfying to make Chirac walk to Washington barefoot in the snow and be scourged at the tomb of the Unknown Soldier, there are other possibilities....
France: To show their sincere repentance, all French persons must simultaneously strip naked and shout "Frank J rules! Buy his tee-shirt!"
Germany: All Germans must buy Frank J's tee-shirt.
Martin Sheen: Must call a press conference and, wearing a pink tutu and Spock ears shout "I'm a little tea pot! Whee!"
Michael Moore: Must supply original source documentation in the form of foot notes to every word in every book he's written. All copies currently in circulation will be recalled as defective (or labeled "Fictional" in large red letters).
Jimmy Carter: Must publicly admit that he was the worst President of the 20th century and give back his Nobel Peace Prize.
Barbra Streisand: Must convert her cliff top mansion to a homeless shelter.
George Clooney: Must become my scantily-clad sex slave and keep his opinions about politics to himself.
Susan Sarandon: Must legally change her first name to "Noodle" so as to cease bringing shame and dishonor to an otherwise fabulous name...
There you have it. And once they have all completed their penance, they must write "I'm sorry I'm an idiot" in blue permanent marker on their foreheads...
Sorry Susie... but George Clooney - bleck! I must be the only woman in America with this outlook, but he does absolutely nothing for me! I've been trying all along to figure out what all the fuss was about with him. I'm still shaking my head and confused. But if you want him, I won't stand in your way - LOL.
Posted by: Teresa at January 7, 2004 03:30 PMThanks, Teresa! ;)
Posted by: Susie at January 7, 2004 03:54 PMThe Argghhh! Man says you're "effervescent".
(http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/001048.html)
Doesn't that mean "fizzy"? Is that a complement?
Posted by: Any mouse at January 7, 2004 04:16 PMI may be fizzy, but I hope he meant it in a bubbly (rather than bubble-headed) sense...
Posted by: Susie at January 7, 2004 04:24 PMWait... the punishment for being a weasel is to be your sex slave?
Uh... NO BLOOD FOR OIL! BUSH=HITLER! BRING OUR TROOPS HOME NOW!
I've been *ever* so naughty. Please punish me now...
Posted by: Harvey at January 7, 2004 09:24 PM"Barbra Streisand: Must convert her cliff top mansion to a homeless shelter."
Uh, wouldn't it be okay if her cliff top house suddenly became a cliff bottom house via mudslide? Just asking.
Posted by: physics geek at January 8, 2004 12:24 PMToo funny. Harvey's comment, too. :)