April 02, 2004

Any port in a teacup

As many of you probably know, Harvey spent some time in the Navy. That's why I thought of him when I read this at Frank's

Every so often, yell "Emergency Deep", run into the kitchen, and sweep all pots/pans/dishes off of the counter onto the floor. Then, yell at your wife for not having the place "stowed for sea".

Put on the headphones from your stereo (don't plug them in). Go and stand in front of your stove. Say (to nobody in particular) "Stove manned and ready". Stand there for 3 or 4 hours. Say (once again to nobody in particular) "Stove secured". Roll up the headphone cord and put them away.

Ok, Harvey wasn't on a submarine, but still, he WAS a sailor, which is why he's never surprised when a new blog child shows up on his doorstep...

Everyone please welcome Harvey's latest indiscretion protégé, Johnny-Oh.

Posted by Susie at April 2, 2004 08:43 AM | TrackBack

I don't suppose YOU'RE his mom, are you? :-)

Posted by: Harvey at April 2, 2004 09:10 AM

Are you my mommy?

(Looking up at you with the cutest puppy-dog eyes I can muster, while endearingly scrunching my "Tiny Tim" hat to my breast)

Posted by: Johnny - Oh at April 2, 2004 09:38 AM

He's really cute with those big puppy dog eyes, but if I accepted the position of blogmother I would feel funny flirting with him...can I just be the lascivious neighbor?

Posted by: Susie at April 2, 2004 09:45 AM

I guess I'll be doing a lot of shirtless lawn-mowing, skinny dipping in the pool, and the ever popular "sensual" car wash. Gotta keep the neighbor's amus-uh aroused, you know. :)

Posted by: Johnny - Oh at April 2, 2004 09:57 AM

Oh, Johnny--you must be hot and thirsty--I've got some fresh lemonade....;)

Posted by: Susie at April 2, 2004 10:03 AM

So fresh you've got to slap it. I hope.

(I said slap, heh)

Posted by: Johnny - Oh at April 2, 2004 10:06 AM

Oh, it's VERY fresh, and sweet, wet, and just a little tart...

Posted by: Susie at April 2, 2004 10:20 AM

Well, I guess I can only stay for two or three pitchers then. :) I hope you have some ice though. It's getting a little warm in here!

Posted by: Johnny - Oh at April 2, 2004 10:46 AM

Don't worry--there's plenty of ice--where would you like it first? I promise to lick up any drips....

[I think I've been spending too much time in Madfish Willie's comments...my blog is going to lose its PG rating! ;)]

Posted by: Susie at April 2, 2004 11:32 AM

Ms Susie: You can be his slutty step-mommy! Mmm... [spanking his monkey] Ooooooo1!!

Posted by: Madfish Willie at April 2, 2004 01:23 PM

All right, Bartender, let's not go there. Naughty neighbor it is, then.

Just let me set this camcorder up on the tripod, adjust the zoom lens...

... "Lemonade of Lust" scene 1... ACTION!

Posted by: Harvey at April 3, 2004 09:26 AM

Oh great! My first "feature length adult entertainment" venture, and Harvey has to be the director. My "spidey sense" is telling me that this thing will end with a "climactic" scene including (but not limited to): The 1996 Swedish "Little People's" synchronized swimming team, 3 Brazilian Alpaca's (with their own fluffer), and of course, mountains of lemons being shoved into orifices that were not designed to recieve them resulting in "yellow" showers.

Should make a mint! You up for it Susie?

Posted by: Johnny - Oh at April 3, 2004 11:42 AM
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