August 17, 2004

Pimp my DVD

I got an odd comment to an old post yesterday, and it reminded me of Jim's mischievous tormenting of the terminally stupid.

The post, in its entirety:

Frank unapologetically explains the Netflix ad. For an alternative viewpoint, read this. But the real problem here is not so much that it's an ad, or that it's an ad for Netflix, but that it's a banner across the top of the main page....sigh.

The comment?

to whom it may concern:
you have advised me that dud's that i have ordered are being ret'd by the post office undelivered["pet semintary"]. i spoke to the post office and they feel that you are not putting the full address down. it is: 37 woodway rd-#B-5, stamford, ct 06907. does this square with the address you have? pls confirm. thx.
dick gross

Posted by: richard gross at August 16, 2004 11:18 AM

It seems as if someone, googling Netflix, stumbled onto my blog entry and was deceived into thinking that I am affiliated with the Netflix customer service department. WTF?????

So what should I do, folks? Email him, correcting his spelling and grammar? Assume that the "dud's" he ordered were Milk Duds™ and tell him that the theatre does not give refunds on opened candy? Ask if by "dud's" was he referring to fancy dress, or unexploded ordnance? Inform him politely that I am against "putting down" addresses unless they are terminally ill and have no quality of life? Demand that he explain just what the hell he meant by "["pet semintary"]"? Just what is a "semintary" anyway? A place for interring deceased seminarians?

There is too much rampant stupidity in the world, and apparently it is not confined to dollar movie customers....

Posted by Susie at August 17, 2004 10:54 AM

Oh, you gotta reply to that one. I like the Milk Duds/theater angle. You'll need to put something in there to make sure to piss him off and get him to write back though.

I got it! Tell him that because the Duds were not returned you will be debiting his account for the full amount.

Posted by: Jim at August 17, 2004 11:36 AM

That's funny! I vote for Jim's response cause I want to see what he writes back.

Posted by: yayaempress at August 17, 2004 01:36 PM

For added fun set up a email address.

Posted by: Jim at August 17, 2004 02:11 PM

I have some ideas...


Dear Gross Dick:

Thank you for your interest in DUD'S. Your views about THE SEMINARY have been noted. Due to the large volume of correspondence, it is not possible for the management of Practical Penumbra / Netflix / Victoria's Secret to respond individually to fan mail. However, we do appreciate your support.

Yours truly, etc. etc.


Dear Mr. Dick:

The post office has informed us that your address is incorrect. They are not sure how your mail has been finding you all these years, but from now on your official address is: 37.1 Woodway Rd, #B-4.99. Please make a note of it.

Your copy of "Pet Cementary: New Paradigms in Taxidermy" is delayed due to Dutch Elm Disease. It will ship as soon as a cure is found.

Most Sincerely,

P. Penumbra Publishers

Posted by: Mr. Green at August 17, 2004 10:26 PM

ROFL, Mr. Green!

Posted by: Susie at August 18, 2004 07:29 AM

Yeah, go with Green :-)

Posted by: Harvey at August 18, 2004 08:52 AM

LMAO, unbelievable how stupid people have the ability to make you laugh.

Posted by: cj at August 18, 2004 10:25 AM

As the word was misspelled in the title of the movie, I think you should just overlook that error. Actually, just zap the sucker with a fully loaded ray gun until he is naught but a pile of ash. That is what I would do.

Posted by: Zongo the Ruthless at August 18, 2004 11:49 AM

Those suggestions were nothing short of brilliant! Please let us know how it all turns out.

Posted by: RP at August 18, 2004 01:19 PM