August 30, 2004

A popped kernel never boils

Today I only hate 993 people, about 600 of whom desecrated my lobby before 5pm. We were shorthanded, so I between cranking out batches of popcorn and keeping the clerks stocked with bags, cups and candy and playing musical change (question: why do people think that it's perfectly logical to hand the cashier a $100 bill for two $1 movie tickets? Contrast this with the person who paid for their concessions order in pennies! And for all I know, it could have been the same customer!) I barely had time to dash up and down the stairs to thread and start movies. I would have had a nervous breakdown, but I was too busy running in circles. In mid-rush I realized that my latest hire just wasn't cutting it. I needed fast and efficient, and he just seemed to implode under the pressure. Sometimes you have to wait until they're under fire to see how they'll react. He's a really sweet guy, but I still let him go as soon as reinforcements showed up. He took it pretty well, and I was too busy to agonize over it (I hate firing people!) afterward.

That's really the worst part of being a manager--having to fire somebody. And not just because you have to admit you made a mistake in the first place when you hired them! It's because you are telling a person that their contribution was not valuable--or, even worse, detrimental--to the organization. I've fired a lot of people over the years, and I still feel bad about most of 'em. (The only ones I don't are the ones I caught stealing). It makes me a little more careful in who I hire, but, as I said, you really won't know a person's mettle until the popcorn's flying and the soda syrup's spilled across the kitchen floor....

Posted by Susie at August 30, 2004 12:33 PM

Hey, what with the way my life is goin', I might be lookin' for a job purty soon. Accordin' to one of the comments I recently received, IN REAL LIFE, I might be well suited for one position, as when I tol' this one foul-mouthed turd to shut the fuck up, he turned to me and said, "You know, you are a real ASS, MAN!"

Posted by: Tiger at August 30, 2004 02:28 PM

You know, I always quit before I got fired. Obviously, I lack that certain sumtin' sumtin' necessary when dealing with people all day.

Sometimes I say bad words to them. Other times, I just scare them away with one carefully expressed eyebrow twitch.

Posted by: Tiffany at August 30, 2004 04:27 PM

Tiffany--can you teach me the eyebrow twitch? I've got a couple of really annoying customers I'd like to use it on!

Posted by: Susie at August 31, 2004 12:49 AM

"I would have had a nervous breakdown, but I was too busy running in circles"


Posted by: Harvey at August 31, 2004 08:52 AM