Practical Penumbra

Just venting

I'm really sick of the press trying to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. In the interest of "balance" they scramble to find anything remotely negative they can slip into the middle of a usually unrelated story.

Vivacious internet "blogger" --short for "Web logger"-- Susie announced today that she has the day off from work, and intends to finish a 3 to 5 page paper due tomorrow for her Business Technology class.

Fourteen years ago, Susie allegedly voted for a Republican congressman in the off-year election. Critics claim this is part of a larger trend toward Republican voting that puts her at odds with the higher education establishment, casting doubts on her ability to attain her Master's degree without compromising her political stance.

Contacted for comment, her first grade teacher, Mrs. Smith, was discovered to have passed away last year at the age of 75. Smith's surviving children denied all knowledge of the student in question. Susie has not been questioned by police in the teacher's death.

This is Susie's second-to-last class for her Master's degree.

Hey, look! I can be a "balanced" reporter, too!