I can assure you that our marquee does not say Dollar Movies and Licensed Day Care Center, but that doesn't seem to dissuade parents from dropping off their children and driving away. Today's stellar examples actually purchased tickets for themselves and their six offspring for Seed of Chucky (rated R, so the parents have to buy the tickets) and then snuck out to go see a different movie at a first run movie theater. Of course, I didn't know that until the kids, aged 4 to probably 13, had been sitting in the lobby for over half an hour after their movie finished. They were still there when my Assistant relieved me, and I gave instructions for the police to be called when the waiting time hit the three hour mark. Naturally the parents showed up about ten minutes after the officer did. Maybe I need to reduce the amount of time before I consider the children abandoned since the folks always seem to miraculously appear shortly after the police arrive....
Posted by Susie at December 26, 2004 09:42 PMI smell a new sign for the lobby:
"Any children not picked up within 30 minutes of the end of their movie will be arrested for vagrancy."
Posted by: Harvey at December 26, 2004 10:15 PMOr,
"Any Children not picked up within 30 minutes of the end of the picture will become the property of this theater and will be sold to the major Studio of our choice."
Honestly, do parents like that really exist? 'cause all the parents I know are a bit "over-protective" if ya know what I mean...
Seems a bit odd that there are parents who'd just forget about the kids until that last possible moment of blissful kidlessness gives in to the reminder that it's time to rejoin reality.
Oh, wait...
Nevermind.
Posted by: Tuning Spork at December 27, 2004 12:46 AMUnclaimed children will be sold to gypsies...
Unclaimed children will be served as chili...
Unbelievable. I drive miles out of my way to get to a drive-up ATM because it's easier that getting two kids out of the car into the bank and back into the car again.
Posted by: Stephen Macklin at December 27, 2004 11:16 AM*still shaking head*
Posted by: Tuning Spork at December 28, 2004 12:28 AMI say sell them to Evil Glenn after 30 minutes. You could have Child Welfare League of America pick them up and deliver them to the puppy blender. Stupid people should not pro-create.
Posted by: Michael at December 28, 2004 09:03 AMUnclaimed children will be harvested for organs and stem cells.
The fat of all unclaimed children will be rendered down into 'popcorn butter' (where did you think we got it from?)
All unclaimed chidren will be dressed in gothic clothing and be given away as "Lemony Snicket" promotional toys.
Posted by: Graumagus at December 28, 2004 12:43 PMAny minors unclaimed after 30 minutes become property of this theatre and will be sold in whole or as parts to recover costs.
Posted by: Laughing Wolf at December 29, 2004 07:32 AMTV crews will be called to film your abandonded/neglected children for the whole community to see.
Posted by: tbflowers at December 29, 2004 09:49 AMMake sure you call ENOUGH police:
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/04363/433421.stm