January 01, 2005

Anti-Resolutionism

I'm not much of one for "resolving." Usually I either do something or I don't. And I can't recall any New Year's Resolutions that I made in my misspent youth that I ever kept, so I've decided to make a list of things I don't resolve to do in 2005.

    I don't resolve to go on a fad diet.
    I don't resolve to join a health club so as to exercise excessively.
    I don't resolve to quit smoking.
    I don't resolve to stop procrastinating on my homework.
    I don't resolve to stop flirting with married men.
    I don't resolve to stop flirting with single men either.
    I don't resolve to spend less money on books.
    I don't resolve to spend less time working.
    I don't resolve to join Greenpeace.
    I don't resolve to contribute to the World Wildlife Fund.
    I don't resolve to eat more spinach.

Hmmm...I need one more for an even dozen...

    I don't resolve to give up posting stupid quizzes when I have nothing to blog about.

OK! I feel much better now...

Posted by Susie at January 1, 2005 10:13 AM
Comments

I like number 5.

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at January 1, 2005 12:07 PM

[searches anxiously for "I don't resolve to post naked pictures of myself"]

[breathes sigh of relief]

Posted by: Harvey at January 1, 2005 03:12 PM

Harv, I suspect you meant to put a "not" in that sentence....;)

Posted by: Susie at January 2, 2005 12:32 AM

Susie - No, I have it right (although I had to think about it a bit)

If you would've had "I don't resolve to post naked pictures of myself", then that means you wouldn't be posting them.

Since that line's not on the list, there's hope :-)

Posted by: Harvey at January 2, 2005 12:50 PM

Hmmm. That racked my brain for a few minutes, too, but Susie's right, Harvey.

Try a double switch:
"I don't resolve to post naked pictures of myself" is the same as "I resolve not to post naked pictures of myself", except that the first is a little less, er, resolute.

If you add the "not" to your sentence, then it would agree with Susie's lines:

"I don't resolve to quit smoking" means that she will not quit smoking.
"I don't resolve to post naked pictures of myself" means that she will not post naked pictures of herself.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at January 2, 2005 05:46 PM

Oh, wait...

Susie - No, I have it right (although I had to think about it a bit)

If you would've had "I don't resolve to post naked pictures of myself", then that means you wouldn't be posting them.

Since that line's not on the list, there's hope :-)

It's the absence of the resolution itself that offers hope. Ah-ha! You're both right!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at January 2, 2005 10:42 PM

After following all that, my head hurts. Susie, let's keep this simple. Post the photo. ;)

Posted by: Ted at January 3, 2005 06:05 AM