July 31, 2003

Stuff so good you'll say "yum"

Tuning Spork has an awesome post on the stupidity of some liberals in Waukesha, WI.

All is not lost, dear Spork--I attended High School in Waukesha, and I turned out ok....(of course, I only went there for one year....)

Posted by Susie at 09:53 PM | Comments (3)

Link Harlotry

Silver Blue is trying to be a Link Whore(Link Man-Whore?) and I am delighted to assist by being a Link Pimp. In case you don't know who SilverBlue is, check out his F.A.Q.. I also recommend meeting Roxette Bunny, occasional blog contributor.

Posted by Susie at 06:10 PM | Comments (3)

I confess

Before I head over and start some heavy-duty drinking, I have decided to come out of the closet and admit the truth:

I am Freemont B. Lebowski and this is my poem:



Night is not the time
to brood on lack of lime;
a margarita's useless
when the lime is juiceless.

And to add to all my woes,
a dog just ate my mother's toes....

Freemont B. Lebowski

Copyright ©2003 Freemont B. Lebowski

Posted by Susie at 05:41 PM | Comments (2)


Okay, a couple more things before I head in to face Another Day in Hell (wish I could get that TM logo to work...the one Kevin gave me doesn't....)

Someone needs to make a not blogrolled logo or something similar for Frank's Blogroll Contest Losers who really should have won: (names and links will be inserted later tonight after I get home from the bar where we are having a 21st birthday party for one of my nieces, provided I have not drunk myself into a stupor after dealing with the lack of a supply order and oillessness today at the theater....)

UPDATE: I had the world's worst Cosmopolitan followed by a Kaluha and "cream", so I'm not too sober to blog. Anyway, the losers (so far) amongst my "crowd" are SilverBlue, Tiger, John Collins, Bill, Norbizness, Banagor and Pixy Misa. The soon to be losers (at least two of the three anyway) are Jennifer, Harvey and Tuning Spork. So we need to band together to fight oppression and link- stinginess everywh....um, I meant we need a cool losers logo.

Posted by Susie at 11:36 AM | Comments (6)

You vote now!

The answers for Group F are up over at the guy with the annoying banner ad's.

Three of my buddies are in this group, so I think one of other two are probably the ones with the lame answer that will win....

Posted by Susie at 11:22 AM | Comments (2)

Susie's Directive #3

If you love fantasy as much as I do, you must immediately go to Ambient Irony and read the first chapter of Pixy Misa's book which he has posted for our reading pleasure. Damn, it's good!

Posted by Susie at 10:34 AM | Comments (1)

It really IS all about the oil.....

Does anybody know why it took 18 hours for some mosquito bites I got to start itching? I was at a friend's who lives in the country on Tuesday night, and had to smoke on the patio; I went back in the house when I felt a couple bites, but they didn't start to itch until the next day at work (where they provided a welcome distraction from Another Day in Hell).

Ok, it wasn't quite as bad as the day we got the notice from the city that they were going to shut off our water for non-payment. But it was pretty much on par with the day we ran out of popcorn. You see, yesterday, our supply order never showed up.

Well, I just lost the rest of this post by accidently hitting some bizarre keyboard shortcut that I wasn't aware of. It was very amusingly written too. So that means that you now get the shorthand version:

We have no oil. We cannot make popcorn without oil. I hate my job. I hate my employees, my bosses, the customers, and the company that can't come til Friday to fix the door that fell off its closing hinge and is propped open to keep it from falling on anyone so that now every time the Hulk roars it reverberates thoughout the entire lobby and makes me want to strangle Ang Lee. I hate my dsl provider and I hate my computer chair. I hate school and my professors and my homework and while I'm at it I'm going to hate whiny liberals who write stupid lying pamphlets and distribute them to my 16 year old employees so they will go join "not in our name" or whatever they're calling their "We Hate Bush So Much We Make Things Up To Make Ourselves Feel Better" campaign this week. I hate raspberry. I hate mushrooms. I hate the smell of bleach. I am feeling very Chompsian today and hate the fact that my teeth are not as strong and sharp as his.....

Whew! I better go read some good blogging and calm down....(and there'd better be some ....)

Posted by Susie at 09:44 AM | Comments (8)

There's no crying in baseball.....

Oh no! Pixy Misa lost Frank's stupid blogroll contest by only two votes!
I guess I didn't vote for him enough.....

Frank has slipped in the blogosphere... it couldn't be because I stopped linking to him five or six times a day; it must be that annoying banner ad!

There was a lot of Good Stuff at Tiger's and Kevin's and Pixy Misa's, but I am too tired to link them. (Update:links added)

I forgot to take my camera to work, but that was just as well--maybe I'll tell you about it in the morning....

Posted by Susie at 01:32 AM | Comments (4)

July 30, 2003

Money doesn't grow...

So I have to go to work shortly for one of my two weekly 12-hour days, and I am way behind on my blog reading what with real life and all that ...sigh.

Maybe I'll take my pathetic, semi-useless not-actually-free digital camera and see if I can get anymore poltergeist pictures.

(I can feel your anticipation building already...)

Back after midnight.....

Posted by Susie at 11:01 AM | Comments (1)


has moved! Now I have to crawl into the template again.....

Posted by Susie at 10:34 AM | Comments (1)

Appeal for Mercy

Jennifer thinks Frank should blogroll me. Thanks, Jen!

As Paul pointed out it's important to have a blogroll philosophy.

Mine started out fairly simply...I added the ones I read regularly because it was a heck of a lot easier to click on a link than to search through my interminable list of bookmarks. But because there is a lot of effort (and spelunking gear) involved in blogrolling someone, I had to really want to read their web site badly enough to undertake the trip into the scary template....

As time went on, however, and Pixy Misa, B.B.M.M. managed to exterminate most of the critters lurking in the darkness, it got a little easier for me to add people to my blogroll, and even create subsections. So I added an area for blogs that I would read regularly if I didn't have to leave to my house occasionally to get money to pay for internet access...

Only I keep finding new blogs I have to add to both my lists and, in keeping with my general tendency toward procrastination, haven't yet....

So basicly what I wanted to say in this post is:
People! Stop writing such good blogs that you make me want to read you all the time!

Thanks. You can go about your business now....

Posted by Susie at 10:13 AM | Comments (3)

.... just wanderin'

Jaboobie needs to check his comments--I wanted to reply to this
post that it looks like "nuke the moon" is working...

Speaking of the blogger with the annoying banner ad, there's a hilarious new In My World....

Tiger is conducting an Ecosystem experiment.... but I think we need to get Kevin in on this. (I'd ask for Pixy too but apparently his brain is made of cottage cheese....).

So Kevin, Pixy and Tiger all need to check their Ecosystem details and see if there are new links from me to their main page as well as individual articles....

Posted by Susie at 09:28 AM | Comments (3)

July 29, 2003

Bloggers are the bestest...

Thanks to everyone who offered me comforting words and a shoulder to cry on in the comments to my last post. Although my eyes are still red-rimmed and I used up three boxes of tissues, the hiccups have finally subsided, and I can type again without short-circuiting the keyboard....

I will just have to console myself with the fact that I am in good company and root for my Beloved Benefactor and Marvelous Mentor, Pixy Misa...

Posted by Susie at 11:26 PM | Comments (4)

I Lost.....

The results are in. I came in third. (Pardon me while I sob heart-wrenchingly for a moment....).

Ok. My answer was #1, so everyone who didn't vote for numero uno has to toss some change in my tip jar to make it up to me. Or else.

(I don't know what I'll do if you don't, but I'll think of something.)

I'm gonna go crawl under the covers and be depressed for awhile.....

Posted by Susie at 02:13 PM | Comments (15)


Thanks! to Tuning Spork for pointing out the new issue of The Lemon....it has a must read update on Jimmy Carter...

Posted by Susie at 09:38 AM | Comments (2)

Tuesday's forecast:

Look for intermittant blogging with an 80% chance of gratuitous linkage...

Harvey has a laugh-out-loud response to Group E's essay question... I hope the question for Group F is as inspiring, since three of my blog friends (Harvey, Jennifer and Tuning Spork) are in that division....

Posted by Susie at 09:27 AM | Comments (1)

Oh! I forgot!

Bill admitted to being a History major in college.....

Bill, how come you didn't help me with my paper on Grant like John, Jennifer and James?????? Hmmmm??????

Posted by Susie at 01:23 AM | Comments (1)


Looks like I started somethin'....Bill Cimino and John Collins, while reluctant to commit to 24 solid hours of cross-insults, have deigned to humor me with a slight increase in mutual invective....

Speaking of Bill C., his last few posts are gross by even his standards!

Elsewhere in Blogland, Paul is seeking sanctuary (guess he doesn't know what happened to Quasimodo...)

.....Tiger spreads linky-love and seems to have posted a lot while I've been at work...so I'm gonna just go read and catch up.

Tomorrow is Tuesday, and you know what that means!!!!!

Posted by Susie at 12:56 AM | Comments (1)

July 28, 2003

Meanwhile, back in Iraq....

Jennifer and John Collins have both written excellent conclusions to this week's In My World....wonder if this is Frank's "master plan" -- to let his readers do ALL his blogging for him....

Posted by Susie at 11:05 AM | Comments (2)

Vote for Me!!!!!

That guy with the annoying banner ad has the group D contest question answers up, and everyone must vote for my entry immediately! In keeping with the regulations of the competition, I am not allowed to offer any clues as to which answer was mine, so be sure to pick one that Frank wouldn't pick, since he's 0 for 3 so far.....

Posted by Susie at 10:51 AM | Comments (6)

Post flambe

I'm having a tough time this week finding a good bad appropriate entry for Kevin's Bonfire of the Vanities. So I think I will just nominate this post of jaboobie's.

Posted by Susie at 08:10 AM | Comments (2)


Frank unapologetically explains the Netflix ad. For an alternative viewpoint, read this. But the real problem here is not so much that it's an ad, or that it's an ad for Netflix, but that it's a banner across the top of the main page....sigh.

Posted by Susie at 08:01 AM | Comments (6)

July 27, 2003

The Post-Blogathon Show

Well, that was quite a race, folks! Kevin and Lair (both of whom I sponsored in the Blogathon) managed to crawl over the finish line long after I had given up cheerleading and crashed into bed. Lair had his cats to keep him awake, and Kevin had Jennifer...

[By the way, Jen has a question that's been bugging her--if any of my Loyal Readers and Movie Afficinados (and Googlers like Victor) can help her out, that would be great.....]

I just finished rummaging under my car seats for loose change so that I could back up my pledges with hard cash and arranged to have it sent to Kev and Lair's charities (the hardest part was finding a box sturdy enough for all those pennies). You can actually donate until Monday, so why don't all my Loyal Readers dig down behind the couch cushions and see what you can find to pledge or donate (except for the half-eaten chicken leg...don't send that.)

Posted by Susie at 09:55 AM | Comments (6)

July 26, 2003

A scathingly brilliant idea....

Now, not that I have anything against Kevin, Lair or Michele, but wouldn't it be great to see John Collins and Bill C. go head-to-head in a 24-hour insult-a-thon? Not only would I pay to see that...okay, I probably wouldn't actually be willing to pay to see that, but it would be really cool...


Ok, things are getting weirder in Blog War I. Thanks to Kevin I went to the puppyblender's where I followed an actual link to Frank (couched in deliciously outrageously insulting terms). Then I noticed that the instaguy linked to Frank again! I find it very interesting that he linked to "Damn You!" Scrappleface in the same sentence... Coincidence? I think not....

Posted by Susie at 09:42 AM | Comments (11)

Reading notes

If you check out any sites in the blogathon, be sure to click on the webring icons...there are a lot of blogs out there, folks, and one or two of them might be interesting....

Posted by Susie at 09:19 AM | Comments (1)

New Blog Showcase Vote

I enjoyed reading this.

Posted by Susie at 08:55 AM | Comments (1)

3...2....1....They're off!

Well, the Blogathon is off and running.....Kevin and Lair both left the post at the same time, but Kevin is ahead by one post already....
(English is such an fun language!)

UPDATE: Laurence has evened the race!

Wait! Kevin pulls ahead!

K, 'nuf of that...I'll try to find something else interesting to post about as soon as I've finished my coffee...or not...

Posted by Susie at 08:39 AM | Comments (2)

July 25, 2003

I do and I do and I do for you kids, and this is the thanks I get?

Man, I get home from a long day slaving over hot projectors and what do I find? Pepperoni on the ceiling fan (again!), beer cans everywhere, and half a dozen overflowing ashtrays (oh, wait--those were mine...) cluttering up my nice comments! God knows what this thing is that Bill left.....
(Alice has all my sympathies....).

Posted by Susie at 08:14 PM | Comments (2)

Whoo Hoo!

The site meter just kicked over past the 2K mark.... (at this rate I'll catch up with Tiger sometime in 2017!)

Everyone give a big welcome to Paul of Sanity's Edge, who is blogging in my comments today....

Posted by Susie at 08:17 AM | Comments (40)


Go here and click on View Image. Then come back and say "Thanks!".

Posted by Susie at 07:57 AM | Comments (3)

To all my Geek friends....

Anybody know what the deal is with this? :

Ping 'http://rpc.weblogs.com/RPC2' failed: HTTP error: 500 Can't connect to rpc.weblogs.com:80 (Bad hostname 'rpc.weblogs.com')
Ping 'http://ping.blo.gs/' failed: HTTP error: 500 Can't connect to ping.blo.gs:80 (Bad hostname 'ping.blo.gs')

Posted by Susie at 07:19 AM | Comments (3)

Party Etiquette

Jennifer is sad because she thinks I don't read her blog, just because she posted about something at 9am and I didn't read it 'til midnight.

Sorry, Jen. It's just that you came late to the party and got seated way in the back, and so although I am circulating through the guest list as quickly as possible, some of my oldest friends brought guests they wanted me to meet, and some of them had really long, interesting stories to tell, and in the meantime the caterers are telling me we are out of hot wings (damn you, Bill!) and someone fell in the pool so we had to get the band to stop playing "Stairway to Heaven" long enough to find out if anyone knew CPR, and then the ambulance ran over the begonias, so of course I had to go look for the gardener (who was behind the potting shed eating hot wings--sorry, Bill!). So by the time I got back to wending my way through the list it was very late. I never did get to see Banagor because I think he was on the dance floor.

Posted by Susie at 07:04 AM | Comments (3)

July 24, 2003

Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do....

Ok, something funky is going on over at the Ecosystem.

Look at this: Ecosystem Details: Practical Penumbra

Notice anything odd?

Total inbound links: 4

Scroll down to where they are listed: 1

Yet somehow, I am suddenly a Marauding Marsupial?

Hmm...so is Tiger with his four links a Marauding Marsupial...

Wow! Frank only has 36 links! (must be that Netflix ad....)

OMG! Pixy Misa now has zero links and is back to Wiggly Worm! (that's funny, there I am linking to him at the bottom of the page...)

K. Now this post has made me an inaniac. Thanks, Tiger!

UPDATE: Thanks, Jen. This explains it. (This is what I get for sneaking in through the side door instead of going in the front door like normal people--I missed the "wet paint" notice and got all smeared!)

Posted by Susie at 11:18 PM | Comments (6)


First, thanks to Tim for pointing out my typo in the previous post. I have to leave it now, though, or else your funny comment wouldn't make sense.

Next: Frank.....Ok, Frank, I am as big a supporter of capitalism as the next girl, but honestly--just about everybody is trying to get off Bogsplot, and here you go trying to get it to be fashionable again with a big banner ad across the top of your blog.
Not. gonna. happen.

Not only is it ugly, distracting, slow to load and causes anguished flashbacks to bogsplot days for those of us who started with their free service, it also is environmentally unfriendly and causes syphilis in laboratory animals....

But wait! There's more!

Netflix is great--for your two week free trial. Then, at least in my case, once I ponied up the Benjamins for a "real" membership, all of a sudden nothing I had in the top 30 spaces in my rental queue was available anymore.... So say I signed up in January to rent Final Destination 2. And I kept it at #1 in my rental queue all though its release date of this past Tuesday. Would I get it? Nope. Doubtless they sent all the copies to the folks still in their two week trial, trying to convince them how great the service is and how they'll never have to go to a video store again.

I was a real patsy. I kept opting for more and more expensive programs in the fruitless hope that I would actually get a new release before it hit the dollar-for-a-week shelf at my local video store. Nope. No dice. They just burrowed deeper down into my rental queue sending me obscure titles that I really had only added as a sort of personal some-day-when-I'm-old-and-gray-and-need-a-change-of-pace-from-soaking-my-dentures-I-might-want-to-watch-this list.

So I got crafty. I deleted everything on my list that wasn't a must-see new release. And then I got nada. nothing. zip. I was paying vast sums of money for the privledge of receiving no movies from Netflix, and still renting them from the video store. Thank God I lost my last job and had to cancel, or I would probably still be waiting for them to send me "Minority Report".

Of course, this was just my personal experience. Your results may vary. And hey, who knows, maybe they have finally started to carry a few more copies of the new stuff. (Although their website says they carry 5x the number of copies of my local video store, they only have 20 shipping centers nation-wide; this means that the dozen video stores in my town STILL beat them, because they only serve my town.)

I also suspect that if you are one of those people who just found out that "The Next Best Thing" is available for rental and ordered it from Netflix, you'll probably get it. And you'll get it fairly quickly, in a really cool one piece mailing-and-mailing-back envelope, and if it's scratched they'll send you another one, and if you don't get a chance to watch it for a few days, they won't be calling you every day with increasingly threatening "reminders" to return it. But if you've already started paying 'em, don't expect to see "Biker Boyz" any time soon.

Netflix is for movie dilettants, not aficionados. I'm just sayin'.

Posted by Susie at 05:56 PM | Comments (4)

An appeal for compassion...

Frank, you know that I love you. I think you are the funniest political writer on the planet. But please...


Posted by Susie at 12:11 PM | Comments (9)

I have better things to do than blog, so I'm blogging

Bill wants us to send him stupid questions to answer, because he's lazy. Bill, shouldn't you be asking us to send in the answers too?

John Collins got his trackbacks turned on by pushing all the buttons and hoping for the best. So I have to mention that he's got his entry into Frank's contest and he wants everyone to vote for him.

I just emailed Frank my entry (I am in Group D, subsection Q, Kill-a-commie-for-Christ division), so tomorrow you all can try and figure out which answer is mine so as to avoid voting for it (because once Frank blogrolls me my life will be complete and I will retire to the Riveria where muscular young men in skimpy thongs will bring me strawberry margaritas all day...and I wouldn't have time to blog anymore, all my waking hours being taken up with sexually harrassing the help.....but I digress...)

I found a really cool post last night (this morning? when you get home from a hard day at the theater after midnight it's hard the make these distinctions) over at Classical Values. Eric gets 'rolled the next time I feel up to facing the Terrors of the Template...

Harvey explains why everyone is mourning the loss of the Iraqi Olympic Committee President.....

Pixy coins a new word... Hey, that's Tiger's job!

Posted by Susie at 10:19 AM | Comments (4)

There are no stupid questions, only stupid customers

Poor John, he just got a brand new blog, and the riffraff are gathering already...

I think David and I need to get together and open up a can of whomp a** on that poopertrooper guy...

Posted by Susie at 09:08 AM | Comments (2)


Thank you Pixy Misa for the hint, and Tiger for the news....

John Collins is off Bogsplot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Drat! Now I have to put on my waders and beekeeper's helmet and head into my main template to change his address....)

Oh, and John...turn on your trackbacks so I can ping you, ok? That's half the fun!

(Great..I just remembered I have to change John's links at the test blogs too...)

Posted by Susie at 12:57 AM | Comments (7)

July 23, 2003

Heigh ho, heigh ho

Yes, Loyal Readers, another 12 hour day for Susie, and she does not want to work today!!!!

I said it best here.

The reason is here.

Every time I go in to work, I know that something will have broken while I was gone...even if I left at midnight and arrived back at noon, something will have sprung a leak or fallen off or just disintegrated over night.

The sad thing is, I am not making this up. So although, in general, I really like my job, in particular it sucks big fat boulders covered in lichen.
(Sorry for the language, but I think in this case it was called for.)

Posted by Susie at 11:20 AM | Comments (2)

Building Integrity

Pixy Misa found an entry he liked at one of my test blogs, and told me I should post it here. Since he is my Benevolent Benefactor and Marvelous Mentor, I will, of course, do as he asks......

I was wondering tonight if there is a Patron Saint for derelict buildings. Not that the theater is abandoned; just that its upkeep has been neglected. So I found a site about Patron Saints and looked it up. Nope. No crumbling infrastructure on the list.

Advertising has a patron saint. So do barbers and bakers. A number of countries have their own Patron Saints. There is a Patron Saint for carpenters, and for builders. But there is no one for a movie theater that is reverting to its composite molcules at an increasingly faster rate every day.

Actors have a Patron Saint. There is a Patron Saint of Television. Heck, even the Internet has its own Patron Saint (St. Isidore of Seville). But nothing close to a movie theater.

Too bad. We really need one.

Posted by Susie at 10:56 AM | Comments (3)

He does this just to torture me

Frank always starts my work week off the right way, and today is no exception:

IMAO: In My World: Buck Goes to Liberia

The only problem is---"to be continued"!!!!!!

Posted by Susie at 09:13 AM | Comments (1)

July 22, 2003

An evening stroll

I have been remiss in linking to Frank today. And since he linked to my Benefactor and Mentor, Pixy Misa, it's time to stop taunting him for a typo.

Group C has 24 hours to submit their entries to Frank's contest. Both John Collins and Bill C. are in this group, so it should be interesting to see if Frank has to use a lot of asterisks to keep his website rated "G".

Speaking of Bill, he has more dinner recommendations for us. He also has some really sweet things to say about John Collins. Guys can get so mushy sometimes....

Looks like Tiger (who is in Group B) forgot to refill his flamethrower before he headed down to his main template. I hate it when that happens!

Harvey (who is in Group F with Tuning Spork and Jennifer) points us to The Customer from Hell. It happens I know her--she comes to the theater twice a week.

Paul has an interesting Personal Ad. I'd answer it, but ....

This is hilarious! Don't you love it when politicians get caught with their pants around their ankles? Thanks, Pietro!

Jaboobie gives everyone a preview of his Bonfire entry for this week....

Good night, Pixy Misa (who is in Group E), wherever you are!

Posted by Susie at 09:17 PM | Comments (3)

It's party time!

Saddam's sons killed in U.S. raid

Looks like Queasy and Odious have finally bit the dust. Personally, I would rather have seen a long, drawn-out trial and consecutive life sentences for every person they maimed, tortured, or killed, hopefully in an Iraqi "re-education school". Oh, well. Eternity as Satan's love slaves will have to do....

Posted by Susie at 05:31 PM | Comments (3)

Virtual Stalking has its detractors....

Primal Purge :: If I promise to miss you, will you delete your blog? likens my admiration for Frnak to that crazy housekeeper or whoever she was who stabbed (or was it shot?) that person that Jennifer Lopez played in that one movie.....


Prolly just jealous....

Posted by Susie at 12:36 PM | Comments (4)

Something Awful...

I couldn't find a permalink to this entry (but that could be because I am techno-impaired, unless this is it) but today's article called Awful Adventures In the Kitchen: Prelude to Burnt Mushrooms and Onions In Rancid Ass Sauce had me laughing so hard I think I hurt myself. It's almost as if someone took John Collins and Bill C. and, using super-secret government-conspiracy-type DNA-tampering-cloning-technology, mooshed them together to create Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka....

Posted by Susie at 11:12 AM | Comments (2)

Today's Forecast

It's Tuesday, and Loyal Readers know what that means--it's Susie's one day off during the week, so in keeping with her policy of procrastination re: homework, laundry, oil changes and bill paying, look for intermittent blogging with chance of hyberbole.....

In the meantime, check out this entry on my test blog....

Posted by Susie at 10:07 AM | Comments (1)

July 21, 2003


Thank you, Tiger, for speeding me on my way to John Collins' tonight.

John, that was awesome.

Posted by Susie at 11:28 PM | Comments (1)

Everybody waits til I go to work to come out to play.....

Apparently we are headed for Blog War I

Much like World War One, Blog War One seems to have been triggered by series of small, otherwise irrelevant incidents. No one knows or cares much about Archduke Ferdinand (just as people in the real world couldn't care less about the ingredients a man puts in his blender drinks) but such otherwise trivial incidents activate automatic pacts (now posts) which force countries (now bloggers) to line up on one side or the other -- without much regard to national interests.

So who gets to be Kaiser Wilhelm? Tsar Nicholas? King George?

... and can I be Woodrow Wilson?

Not necessarily unrelated:

Greatest gun ever! Feel special. Beautiful and reliable but can still scare the living bejesus outta anyone.
Sig Sauer P226. Greatest gun ever! Feel special.
Beautiful and reliable but can still scare the
living bejesus outta anyone.

What handgun are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Classical Values < Kevin the Wiz < Pixy Misa

Posted by Susie at 06:57 PM | Comments (4)


Thanks to Bill coming out of the closet about his obsession, I have realized that I, too, am a virtual stalker.

Could be worse. I could be a link whore...

Posted by Susie at 08:59 AM | Comments (2)

"Hey, Ari, you grew fatter and got some hair. Not sure if I like it."

I love Mondays, and Loyal Readers know why: A new In My World, of course!

Posted by Susie at 08:46 AM | Comments (1)

Go away, or I shall taunt you a second time....

Poor Frank seems to think he is taking a lot of abuse for his link contest.

Well, he's right. Even I have abused him plenty. Look here. And here. Also here (my personal favorite). And probably here. Oh, and here, too. And no doubt there are several more that I've missed.

The point is, how come he links to Wind Rider and Bill C when bemoaning blogging abuse? Why not to me????

Oh, well. At least he answered another one of my questions...

Posted by Susie at 12:56 AM | Comments (3)

July 20, 2003

Susie's Directive #33

No one has remarked on the 50% reduction in pink on my blog.

Do so immediately!!!!

Posted by Susie at 10:41 AM | Comments (13)


Thanks to Tuning Spork for pointing out the new Lemon out today....

Posted by Susie at 10:07 AM | Comments (2)

Mea culpa....

Sorry! Sorry about that.... all those who got double pings need to contact MT immediately and lodge a complaint.....

Posted by Susie at 10:02 AM | Comments (1)

The pings and arrows of outrageous linkage

I was gonna use that line in my last post, but it was too good for a throwaway, so I started a new post for it.

Now I have to link things. Sigh.

Pixy Misa points out that Frnak has a new post. Let the blog wars commence!

SilverBlue has another great picture. This one's of the next step in portable computing. (Red Green would be proud!)

Kevin the Wiz has his own contest for linkage. There's a lot more geek stuff in it than Frank's, and it looks like he wants me to suit up and head into the stygian depths of my main template rather than just dig out the crayons and scribble something like I have to do for Frank.

(Aside: it is a sad reflection on Susie that she is putting more thought and effort into her entry for Blogroll Survivor than she is for the two end-of-semester papers she has due shortly...)

I hate work. It takes too much time away from my blogging and procrastinating.

Posted by Susie at 09:25 AM | Comments (1)

Susie's Directive #32:

I've said it before, and now I'm sayin' again:
Go listen to Crunchy Frog Blues
You'll thank me.

Holy Cow! Pixy beat me to Frank's this am! not fair! It's Monday where he is~

I'm trying a new thing, just to see who's on their toes. I'm just adding stuff to my previous post instead of starting a new post (I can do that. I have MT.)

Uh oh. Forgot about the multiple pinging thingee. My bad.

Oh well, so far Pixy's the only one suffering the multiple pings....he's tough, he can take it!

Posted by Susie at 08:54 AM | Comments (9)

Gee, what a surprise.....

Threat rating: zero. Excellent work - you
demonstrate all the qualities of patriotism
that will make America even greater under Bush.
USA no.1!!!

What threat to the Bush administration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by Susie at 01:43 AM | Comments (5)

I like it....

~ * Your Magic Fairy's Name * ~

Your fairy is called Feather Saturnfrost
She is a trouble maker
She lives in high places where the clouds meet the earth
She is only seen during the first snow of winter

Pixy Misa < SilverBlue < Find Your Fairy's Name

eFairies is cool.

Posted by Susie at 01:02 AM | Comments (6)

July 19, 2003

Bla bla bla

Well, even though I have to go to work shortly, I've decided to continue to do a terrific job procrastinating rather that use the available time to work on my homework. (Everyone needs a skill they can capitalize on, right? Just because I am an expert at putting things off until they come back to bite me in the butt doesn't mean I can't have a miserable, unfulfilled life like everyone else...)

Cogito ergo blogum. (I probably got the declension wrong on that--haven't used much Latin since I had two semesters of it in college. It helped me with etymology, what can I say? I probably would have gotten my Masters in Linguistics if not for that whole "can't leave the house" thingee. Oh well. )

Anyway--Tuning Spork is already up at running at the new digs, so put on your asbestos suits, grab your flamethrowers, and adjust your links to the new address. (The racoons dine on roasted slugs in MY template tonight!)

Kevin the Wiz was talking about some problem he had with Crisco. My first reaction was, well substitute butter or margarine! How difficult is that? But then I remembered that some guys just aren't into the whole cooking thing, so maybe it does seem like a problem to him.

Banagor has another must-read. And I'm not just saying that because he says nice things about Frank.

John Collins is not in jail after all, so forget the bail fund. Although I bet if we started a beer fund for him...

Bill partied very hard for Alice's birthday and is practicing hung-over blogging. I think he's got it down pat.

Tiger likes Red Green. I wonder how much he would charge me to bring his duct tape to my theater and fix things??

Did I remember to tell everybody to go over to Ambient Irony and tell Pixy Misa he's the bestest?

Posted by Susie at 04:00 PM | Comments (3)

Good Morning!

Ok, so it's afternoon. I slept in. Sheesh, can't a girl get any rest around here?

Anyway, I just wanted to say to the entire Blogosphere:

Pixy Misa has a bestestness unrivaled in the blogosphere!!!!! He has graciously offered Tuning Spork an entry ticket to "Pixy's Discount Blogger Exodus Program"! (Although the membership guidelines are a little more ridiculous drawn-out onerous complicated than Frank's Blogroll Survivor contest, I'm sure Spork is desperate talented enough
to meet the requirements....

Thanks to LC Victor for creating a monster explaining to me how to do strikethroughs.

Posted by Susie at 02:20 PM | Comments (3)

July 18, 2003

Updated update to the update

Two quick notes before I crawl into bed with an attractive ex-MP named Jack Reacher....

#1 Frank, what were you thinking????? Everyone has to VOTE AGAIN???????

Wait. I forgot. You live in Florida.....

#2 Tuning Spork needs to get off Blogspot. I pointed him at Dean's Jihad offer, but if anyone else can help him out with cheap hosting and MT, leave a message for him at Frank's. He hangs out in the comments there (he offered me candy, but I insisted on a dry martini and ...nevermind). Or you could email him.

Posted by Susie at 09:14 PM | Comments (6)

The things that go on while I'm at work...

Harvey at Bad Money is in group F of Blogroll Survivor, but he wrote a great essay for the question given to group A.
(Hmm...Aquaman, "A". Wonder if group B's question will be about Batman....?)

I think we may need to scrape up bail money for John Collins--he hasn't posted today....

Bill found out he was Pixy Misa's Blog of the Day--2 days ago (or maybe 3, since there's some kind of riff in the space-time continuum called the International Dateline--I don't really understand it myself, but if you go over to Ambient Irony, I'm sure Pixy'll 'splain it--den Beste linked to him, you know!)

Tuning Spork has an actual blog entry! Whoo hoo! It looks like Frank's furry silly geeky whatever contest has had a positive result!

James has a thought-provoking essay on "playing the race card."

Kevin the Wiz reminds us of the next Bonfire deadline.

Pierto points out an amazing difference between Germans and Americans.

Tiger has a couple of blonde jokes (he says to substitute "Aggie" if you are a blonde. What's an "aggie"? Sounds like a yucky vegetable to me....)

Posted by Susie at 07:29 PM | Comments (5)

I like bunnies but

I think anyone who deliberately buys cosmetics or other beauty products that advertise that they don't do animal testing is STUPID. I would personally rather that the manufacturer made sure that humans who use their product are not going to go blind, loose all their hair, or develop syphilis by first making sure that animals come out unscathed.

Just a thought to take to the drugstore with you....

[program note: two new candidates for the Bonfire here].

Heigh ho, it's off to work I go (oh, joy.....)

Posted by Susie at 11:10 AM | Comments (1)

Frankly, my dear

And it's time again to taunt Super Lucky Happy Fun Permalink Contest . The responses from the first group of randomly chosen supplicants have been posted, and it's up to Frank's readers to vote them off the island.

As a loyal reader of IMAO since I clicked on the wrong link at Rachel Lucas' many days ago, I'm going to have a really difficult time praising Frank--I mean, choosing just one of his "essays" as my favorite when my turn in the grovel-fest comes. (For any readers still with me after all this Frank-speak, I am in group D, subsection Q, scheduled in the clean-up spot--unless Sammy Sosa gets a home run, in which case I'll bunt).

Posted by Susie at 07:36 AM | Comments (5)

July 17, 2003

System failure...

I'm too tired....
I just hit "back" on the wrong browser window and lost my whole post.
There went a great entry for Bonfire of the Vanities.

Posted by Susie at 10:18 PM | Comments (1)

Another annoyance ...

Frank is fiddling about with the format of his Blogroll Survivor thingee, probably so that the contestants in tribe F aren't starting to draw Social Security before their turns come.

I am REALLY snarky, today. And now I'm gonna be late for work.

Thanks, Frank!

Posted by Susie at 11:50 AM | Comments (3)

Inertia su*ks.....

As I bemoaned at one of my (many) lesser blogs, [I forget which one, I am "testing" so many], the dreaded inertia seems to have returned. Inertia leads to procrastination, and procrastination leads to stress, and stress leads to mental overload, which causes inertia {insert Joseph Heller reference here}.

So I have been putting off finishing (ok, starting) the two papers I have due shortly [I am working on a M.S. to go with my B.A., which will hopefully result in the call letters B.A., M.S. following my name--meaning, of course, Belated Achievement, Mental Stability]. This is a bad thing. [The procrastination, not the call-letters].

Being under all this pressure makes me really irritable. We're talking "mega" here. There is a very real possibility that the next person who speaks to me, no matter how innocuous their remarks, will find themselves flat on the ground with my hands on their throat as I snarl in a manner that would make Chomps look like a lap dog. {Not a great mood for someone who deals with annoying customers and whiny teen-aged employees on a daily basis.}

And I'm NOT even PMSing!!!!

So, the point of this rant is: {insert Peter Finch's famous "Network" quote here}.

You heard it here first.

Now I have to go to work. More later (unless I'm arrested for strangling "innocent" customers with surplus movie trailers...)

Posted by Susie at 11:10 AM | Comments (1)

A Paladin smites...

Whoa!! Banagor, dude, you rule! (thanks, Jennifer, for pointing me to Misha's link)

I must quote: [language alert!]

The Liberal Left thinks that it can just sit around, pick it's own ass, muse about how terrible we have all been through history (when they know none whatsoever), make up terms to justify more money for courses with no bearing on real life at all, and that simply "accepting" everyone will make the world a better place. They cannot fathom that anyone would ever think any differently than they do. And because of that, they are the most arrogant, selfish bastards and bitches to walk the face of the earth. When we listened to how there was no real danger from extremist Islam, and how everyone in "that part of the world" just wanted peace, we got the full result of their peaceful delusions: four human-guided airplanes which became missiles and took down thousands of our people in one day.

And to think I blogrolled him before he was "somebody." (thanks again, Jen!)

Posted by Susie at 10:38 AM | Comments (3)


Frank has declared jihad on poor Kevin as well as the puppyblender.

Thank goodnes he hasn't found out about my suggestion for the Blogroll Survivor players in tribe A......

Posted by Susie at 10:09 AM | Comments (1)

Microbe voting

I scrolled though the entries at the New Weblog Showcase and the blub to this rant caught my eye.
I also found this entry, which I hope is brilliant satire.
The only other blurb that caught my eye was this blog's entry.

All the others seemed like shrill re-hashings of political non-issues, or niche-centric techno-speak. But maybe that's just me. I'm feeling rather cynical today.

Posted by Susie at 09:48 AM | Comments (2)

Muh ha ha.......

Let's play a joke on Frank.....everyone who is in group A should go here, and copy and paste this response to the essay question!

That would be a hoot, wouldn't it? If everyone submitted the same essay?

Yeah, I am overtired. Better go to bed before I start telling the story about the one-legged hooker and the marching band.....

Posted by Susie at 01:16 AM | Comments (4)

Late Night Snacks

Blogroll Survivor is now in full swing. My turn comes sometime during the next vernal equinox, or shortly before the Plant People from Planet X arrive, whichever is later...

Tiger is also having a link contest, but his questions were too easy.....

Via Pixy Misa, from Kevin, it seems that the puppyblender had a mole at work at Frank's blog....

Posted by Susie at 12:30 AM | Comments (2)

July 16, 2003

It's all about the oil......

What is it about this story that makes me think of the old Peter Sellers movie, The Mouse That Roared?

Posted by Susie at 10:28 AM | Comments (2)

This just in.....

Banagor unsheathes his sword and has at an anti-Semitic newspaper columnist. This is why the world needs more knights in shining armor.

Mentor and Benefactor Pixy Misa posts another poem about toes...
go read it now!

I am going to play on my typepad test blog this morning. you're welcome to swing by and leave snarky comments......

Posted by Susie at 08:31 AM | Comments (2)

July 15, 2003

Wake up, competitors!

Yoo Hoo! Bill! Tiger!! Get with it guys, you only have til noon on Wednesday to jump through Frank's first hoop!

Posted by Susie at 09:43 PM | Comments (6)

Outrage---erm, outage

Holy outage, Batman! Frank won't load! Server not found! The page cannot be displayed!

I wonder if his contest netted him so many hits he crashed?

Posted by Susie at 12:20 PM | Comments (2)

No! Not the Main Template!

Frank is eeeeeeeevilllllllll...........!!!!!!

He is going to make me put on my spelunking gear, sturdy galoshes, lineman's insulated gloves and beekeeper's helmet and descend into the stygian depths of my template to add a link to Instapundit.

All I can say is, Thank God (and Pixy Misa) for the flamethrower!!!!!

Posted by Susie at 12:07 PM | Comments (3)

Just killin' time

...til Frank (who had his pity link for today) announces the first phase of "Blogroll Survivor".

So, what's the deal with changing the name of the character in "Hulk" from David Banner to Bruce Banner? (I haven't seen the movie, but the trailer is on X-Men 2 so I've seen it practically every day for the last 2-and-a-half weeks when I go close the theater doors after starting the movie). What if Spiderman was called Paul Parker? Or Superman Kevin Kent? I...just...don't...get it.

The top three stupid questions you should not ask the person (usually me) who answers the phone at my theater with "Georgetown Dollar Movies":

#3 Yeah, are you in Georgetown?

#2 Is this the Dollar Movies?

#1 Do you know what movies you are showing?

I answer all these questions with "yes", but one day I'm going to crack and say "no" just to see what they say. A couple of times I couldn't help myself.... I answered #1 "yes", and just waited....

Posted by Susie at 10:47 AM | Comments (5)

More Unnecessary G.L.

Beloved Benefactor, Pixy Misa, names Bloviating Inanities the blog of the day. K, Bill, hook him up with a link!

Oh, and check out the toe poetry...)

Posted by Susie at 10:11 AM | Comments (1)


The storms have blown past, although the weathercasters' crystal balls indicate that there is a chance for more later. But, in the meantime, while I can blog, I want to ask everyone to
PLEASE give Laurence Simon your support in the upcoming Blogathon.
(How can I not like a guy who likes cats? I can't. And remember--Hitler had dogs....) Thanks!

Posted by Susie at 09:48 AM | Comments (1)

He was sad....

Frank is preparing the hoops through which we must jump in order to be considered for a coveted blogroll link.

There are really bad thunderstorms approaching, so the computer is going OFF now!

Posted by Susie at 08:45 AM | Comments (1)

Short and Sweet

Tim has comments and a site meter now! Dude, he's freakin' serious about this blogging thing! So stop by there and make that meter roll....

Posted by Susie at 08:18 AM | Comments (3)

This just in....

Buck the Marine speaks out on uranium-gate. You know where to find it.

Posted by Susie at 08:03 AM | Comments (3)

July 14, 2003

Links Schminks

Kevin at Wizbang linked to my Bonfire of the Vanities entry, so naturally I am linking back to his post. If you are really, really bored you can just go back and forth between our blogs all night.....

Bill is having his own linkage contest, but, like all Bill's contests, the requirements are pretty tough....luckily, we are already cross-linking so I don't have to sweat it.
Bill also tells us more about himself than we really needed--or wanted--to know.

John Collins is no longer welcome at Best Buy. I don't understand it at all--he's such a sweet-tempered guy.....

Through a link at the comments of He Who Will Not Be Pinged, I found this site, only to learn that Bill had beaten me to it! Anyway, go on over to SilverBlue and wander around for a bit. I found this gem there.

Posted by Susie at 07:01 PM | Comments (2)

Blog notes:

Jaboobie is redeemed....and shall be moved from Non-Link status back to regular linkage (just as soon as my galoshes and tennis racket get back from the cleaners--those slugs clinging to the stalagmites were really messy when squished....)

(I may need that non-link spot for He Who Will Not Be Pinged....)

Posted by Susie at 09:58 AM | Comments (4)

Monday Morning Stroll

Amish Tech Support could use a few more supporters--for the blogathon. (No, you don't have to be Amish, but it helps!)

Tiger points out that there seems to have been a massive overnight shift in the Ecosystem. I blame Frank. I think he's designed a secret weapon to suck away the linkage to the Instapundit, but something went horribly wrong...

My Beloved Benefactor and Renaissance Man Pixy Misa of Ambient Irony can list Poet on his resume...

Victor has taken a break from his hiatus, and posted a link to a cool picture (and it's not of his rats!).

Bill is having another "contest".
Bill is very non-PC. I like that in a man. He also says nice things about me (unlike some other bloggers who shall remain nameless and unlinked).

Paul warns us of the dangers to be found in the kitchen cabinet. (KIDS: Do not try this at home!!!!)

Jennifer does Grant. Her assessment is not quite as scholarly as James' was, or as well-researched as John Collins', but it does help round out the picture for me. Thanks Jen!

Kevin says last call for entries to this week's Bonfire.

Gotta go! need to find somethin' bad to enter!

Posted by Susie at 09:00 AM | Comments (5)

So there!

Frank has a new In My World today!

Ordinarily there would have been two or three links in that sentence, but in the comments to a post of his that I am also not linking, he said:

Tiger, Why would I want to link to someone who has nothing but links to my page? I already read my page.

You men are all alike.....50 or 60 links and then you're off with the boys.....

Posted by Susie at 08:17 AM | Comments (2)

Full Moon Blues Redux...

We ran out of popcorn tonight.
We don't get a supply order until Wednesday.
I run a movie theater that has no popcorn.
Where's the whiskey.......?

Posted by Susie at 12:14 AM | Comments (5)

July 13, 2003

G.L. Quickie

Most likely due to Jennifer's subtle blegging in his comments, Frank is going to have a competition for a spot on his blogroll....

Now if it were based on sheer volume of linkage, I'd be a shoe-in.....

Posted by Susie at 04:14 PM | Comments (1)

I'm irritable...wonder why?

Two quick rants:

#1 What the heck is the deal with weblogs.com? Every entry ping seems to come back as an error in the activity log. Sheesh.

#2 Why do blogs try and put cookies on my computer? I can understand if I tell the comments to remember me, but just by visiting? What's up with that, Serenity? I have to say "no" to four cookies every time I go to your blog...(which might be more often if I didn't have to fend off the cookies...)

Posted by Susie at 01:48 PM | Comments (3)

Watch out for that stalagmite

Well, the massive intake of coffee seems to have restored a minimal functionality to my brain, so I am attempting to blog. Loyal Readers will remember that Sunday is usually one of my twelve hour days, but last night, realizing that the day from hell was going to induce an atypical bender, I asked my Assistant to cover opening for me. He graciously agreed (since he owes me for the ten days he was on vacation), and so I have a couple of hours before I need to head in.

That explained ad nauseam, let me announce that I am preparing to array myself in the cumbersome spelunking gear necessary to meddle in my main template and add a new link.

But first, a number. (Sorry. M*A*S*H* quote. Still a little alcohol in Susie's system).

In my wanderings across the blogosphere this morning--er, afternoon--I stopped by Bad Money, a site whose entry I linked for the New Blog Showcase. I found a post on blogosphere tipping etiquette (with its lovely image of a two dollar bill--I have been enamored of $2 bills since they were splashily re-introduced for our country's bicentennial) and decided that I would have to blogroll him.

Then I scrolled further and learned he dissed my color scheme!!!!!! However, since he did say some nice things about me, I decided to link to him after all. So go check out Harvey Olson. He's from Wisconsin. (Wisconsin is cool--it has the Dells.)

Posted by Susie at 01:29 PM | Comments (1)

Hung over blogging....

While I wait to see if the coffee makes a dent in this brain cloud, you all go read Pixy Misa's tale of his weekend... it includes a lovely rant which I must excerpt for those readers too timid to click-though:


I spot a leaflet stuck to a telegraph pole. It reads "SMASH MIDDLE EAST TERRORISM". Well, I'm all for that. "BOMB ISRAEL NOW". Right. That's coming down. It was glued on pretty well, so I was reduced to tearing it into illegible strips. At the next pole, some other right-thinking person had already started in on the leaflet, so I finished the job. And so on until I reached the supermarket.

To the backwards-evolved febrile pus-monkeys who stuck these things up: Your little hate-papers are gone now, suckers. And may you get run over by a speeding garbage truck before your next birthday.


The Emperor would be proud!

Posted by Susie at 10:57 AM | Comments (2)

Full Moon Blues....

I had a really lousy night at work. I can't even begin to relate it amusingly. Maybe when I get some aesthetic distance. In the meantime, I'm going to finish my second beer. Alcoholism is probably just around the corner. You heard it here first.

Posted by Susie at 01:23 AM | Comments (4)

July 12, 2003

Grant Paper Update

James takes issue with some of John Collins' points about Civil War General and Eighteenth President Ulysses Simpson Grant. I love a scholarly debate!

Posted by Susie at 11:23 AM | Comments (1)


Tiger thinks I don't love him anymore....
I do still love you, Tiger....it's not your fault I have a thing for younger men!
{Besides, you gave a copy of your book to another woman! I am seething with jealousy...;)}

Posted by Susie at 10:46 AM | Comments (3)

Morning report

Jennifer is indeed a Crunchy Crustacean this morning. Dang, I'm good.

New Loyal Reader Banagor is already a Slimy Mollusc. Every damsel needs a Paladin in her arsenal (in case the Mage or Cleric just don't have enough hit points to make it across that life-sucking barrier).

Bill is an Adorable Little Rodent. Yes, folks, Bill is a rat!

My Benevolent Benefactor, Pixy Misa, is a Crawly Amphibian. He's Australian. Aussies are Cool.

Perry is another Crawly Amphibian. He's not Australian.

Pietro isn't Australian either, but he's also a Crawly Amphibian.

Loyal Citizen Victor is a Slithering Reptile. Victor has been on a tour analyzing the fares of taxis in Paris. There is also a cool "notice" where his pictures of Rat Calle should be. This is why people say:
Running List Of Blogspot Defectors

Tiger is a Marauding Marsupial. Tiger is a lawyer, but I like him anyway.

John Collins is a Flappy Bird (same as I!). John is very very funny, but one of these days someone is going to have to wash his mouth out with soap....

James is also a Slithering Reptile But he finally wished Frank a Happy Blogiversary so I am sure he will be moving up the ecosystem rankings more quickly.

Paul is another Flappy Bird. Seems like there are a lot of us.....

Glenn (not Reynolds) is another Marauding Marsupial. He's not a lawyer, but I like him anyway.

Kevin is a Large Mammal. I keep meaning to enter the Bonfire of the Vanities.....maybe my Loyal Readers can point out my worst posts to me....

And check out how many times I've linked to Frank! (I think it missed a couple).

Posted by Susie at 09:45 AM | Comments (4)

July 11, 2003


John Collins is quickly becoming not only a Rival to Frank for my affections, but also my (flutter eyelids) hero......
He has helped me get a good start on my paper on President Grant by posting this scholarly yet succinct analysis of Grant's leadership skills. Thanks, John!!!!!

Posted by Susie at 11:15 PM | Comments (6)

Movin' on up...

Jennifer took my (astute) advice and signed up for the ecosystem. She may be a Microbe today, but I'll bet by tomorrow she's at least a Crustacean!

Posted by Susie at 05:02 PM | Comments (2)

Question of the Day

I was surprised that none of my Loyal Readers had a comment on this entry....maybe it got lost in the excitement of Frank's Blogiversary.
So, what say you, ladies? Which is sexier on a man, a kilt or a nightshirt?

Posted by Susie at 11:30 AM | Comments (3)

Holy Cow!!!!!!!

Somebody tossed a twenty into the tip jar!!!!!!

THANK YOU!!!!! whoever you are........the laptop fund is now underway!

This is so cool.......you have made my day!

(See, I guess there are philanthropists reading my blog....)

Posted by Susie at 11:15 AM | Comments (3)

Whoo Hoo!!!!!!!!

The tax cut finally showed up on my paycheck!!!!! It was a whopping $1.25!!!!! That comes to (add the multiplier, subdivide by the number of days) FIVE DOLLARS A MONTH!!!!!!!

Yippie!!!!!!! One more pack of cigs a month for Susie!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Susie at 11:00 AM | Comments (6)

Showcase vote....

I enjoyed Boomshock's analysis of Ah nuld's potential as a CA governor....

Posted by Susie at 10:01 AM | Comments (2)

Blegging and G.L.

Jennifer has asked if she can be on my blogroll just because she linked to Frank.


Loyal Readers know that it is a coveted and awesome honor to be on my blogroll, mainly because I say it is, but also because (even though Pixy Misa has taken care of the rats and the bats) my main template is an area fraught with peril, into which I only venture when well-equipped with excessive weaponry and bolstered by the assurance that my cause is just....

However, Jennifer, you may earn a place on my blogroll one of two ways:
#1 Read my blog and leave lots of salient comments so that I know how brilliant and insightful and tasteful you are
#2 Write something on your blog (with lots of citations) that I can use as a source for my paper on the leadership skills of U. S. Grant (this item expires on July 21st).

Special thanks to Victor (who seems to be on some sort of secret mission; I wonder if it has something to do with the taxi fare in Paris?) for pointing out that Frank answered another of my questions! I now know that the presence of all colors is called blurple. Cool! (I also learned not to leave my crayons out in the sun....)

In other news, Tiger spent the day in jail....
Pixy Misa alerts us to a little known danger....
Bill's toe is not broken....
Paul offers us yet another way to discourage unwanted attention in public...

Posted by Susie at 09:33 AM | Comments (3)

July 10, 2003

The Rival......

Be still my heart....John Collins even quotes the Big Lebowski in the comments!

Oh, and Bill broke his toe.

Posted by Susie at 09:49 AM | Comments (3)

The Wrath of Susie......

Okey dokey, payback time.....muh ha ha.....

I am now going to ceremoniously de-link those offenders who did not link to Frank yesterday.......

(Give me a minute...I can't find that new mag-lite, and this bee-keepers' helmet I got to ward off the bats really interferes with my vision....I hope I don't accidently change my font or trip over a water buffalo....)

Bye-bye jaboobie! Your page doesn't load right for IE anyway! nahner nahner!
Adios Romulus! You probably don't read me anyway....
Hasta La Vista James.....oh, wait. James has that cool gun pic...maybe he put it up for Frank to enjoy. Ok, we'll forgive James (this once)
Ta Ta Tiger! ......bats!! auugh!!!! run away.......

Posted by Susie at 09:07 AM | Comments (7)


Frank has moved up in the ecosystem system ratings! Hurray!

Now that the important issue is out of the way, I must address the slurs and innuendos that have been whispered about me in the comments while I was hard at work providing for the entertainment needs of the poor or miserly...
I am not Frank J! I am a WOMAN!

(Besides, statistics prove that he's 37% funnier than I am).

(Just because a woman has a crush, um, infatuation--admires a younger man is no reason to make her the object of ridicule!)

(Oh, and he has 28% more typos than I do)

Posted by Susie at 08:30 AM | Comments (3)

July 09, 2003

One last ping......

Well, much to the relief of my readers (and, no doubt, Frank) I am heading off to work before the next round of thunderstorms hits. Since it will be midnight before I get off, Frank's Blogiversary will be over......

Hope it was great, Frank!

Posted by Susie at 10:51 AM | Comments (1)

I wonder if Frank is getting annoyed with me yet......

Tim is blogging again, and mentioned Frank in passing. Tim, just because you already have a link to him on your blogroll does NOT mean you have fulfilled your duty!

Posted by Susie at 10:40 AM | Comments (1)


Well I am checking out the usual suspects (Tiger, Pixy Misa, James, John Collins, Glenn et al) and so far, only Victor has linked to Frank and paid him homage....

Get with it, guys! You don't want to suffer the Wrath of Susie, do you?????

Posted by Susie at 10:15 AM | Comments (7)


New Loyal Reader Ikkonoishi pointed out that Frank posted the finale to Hunt for the Rumsfeld Strangler. Hurray!!
(Now how am I going to sneak in a reference to Frank's Blogiversary?)

Posted by Susie at 09:57 AM | Comments (1)

Whoo Hoo!!!!

Wow, that has got to be the shortest contest since Frank started blogging a year ago today!

Loyal Reader Pete has correctly identified 9 of the ten movie quotes! And he got the bonus quote!!!!!

(Pete, you must immediately rent Monty Python and the Holy Grail.....)

What would be a suitable prize? Would you like some lovely splat postcards?

Posted by Susie at 09:28 AM | Comments (2)

Proper Attributions

Thanks to Paul at Sanity's Edge (which I followed the link at the trackbacks to Frank's blogivarsary to find) I learned that Bill at Bloviating Inanities has posted a lovely tribute to Frank.
(Gratuitous linkage to Fritz and venomous kate)

Posted by Susie at 09:12 AM | Comments (1)

Bad Money

I enjoyed this New Blog Showcase entry from Bad Money. I think Frank would enjoy it, too.....

Posted by Susie at 08:58 AM | Comments (1)


Frank (did I mention it's his blogiversary?)has a new In My World---the Hunt for the Rumsfeld Strangler!
But just because he has to go to the dentist is no reason to leave it a cliffhanger!!!!!! Auuuugh!!!!!!

Posted by Susie at 08:15 AM | Comments (2)

Another Contest

In keeping with my policy of linking to Frank in every post today as a tribute to his blogiversary, I am going to have another contest.

Due to the overwhelming success of my last contest, (three entries!) we are going to do it again. Only this time, all you have to do is identify the movies. (I am dumbing down my tests…unbelievable…next thing you know I'll be letting you take it 3 or 4 times!)

Anyway, please identify the movie from which the following quotes came:

1."Have fun stormin' the castle!"
2."I killed the boss. You think they're not going to fire me for that?"
3."It's true. This man has no dick."
4."What I object to is that he automatically treats me as an inferior."
5."Did ya get the memo…?"
6."Then I'm putting them on double secret probation!"
7."Do you mean, like, flaming?"
8."That's right. I had the lasagna."
9."Sometimes I just think funny things."
10."I hate Illinois Nazis."

Four of these movies were also quoted in the previous contest.

As always, if you or any member of your team is caught or killed--I mean, whoever answers the most correctly the soonest will a prize of little or no monetary value, yada yada yada.

Good Luck! Send your answers to GevKaffeeGal [at] att [dot] net. Or just leave them in the comments--that way you can all cheat off of each other and won't have to worry about googling them.....

Bonus quote: "I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is called a disgrace, two are called a law firm, and three or more become a Congress." Everyone who answers the bonus quote correctly (regardless of the accuracy of your other responses) will receive, um, something suitable.

Posted by Susie at 08:01 AM | Comments (6)

Attack of the Dreaded Inertia

So there were some server problems or something last night (you'll have to ask Pixy Misa about it, because I am geek-impaired), and I couldn't post any of the gratuitous linkage I intended. So I went over to another blog I'm playing with and posted there, but only linked to Tiger because I wasn't feeling very well. I am feeling better this morning, but the dreaded inertia is back.
I suspect the problem is the weather. We have been having rolling waves of thunderstorms since the 4th of July, with only momentary splashes of sunlight between, and I am solar-powered. It's kind of like SAD, only year-round. A day without sunshine is like a day without orange juice.
Massive doses of coffee don't really help. I thought about trying "Puppy Uppers", but then I would need "Doggie Downers" to sleep.....sigh.

Did I mention that it's Frank's Blogiversary?

Posted by Susie at 07:46 AM | Comments (2)

Frank don't hurt me......

For today only, I am going to fiddle with my posting times so as to keep my homage to Frank on top.

Oh wait--it'll be easier to just change the time on THAT post. ok. But since I did it on Monday, it's not today only, is it?

Sigh. Frank, you are causing me grief here. (Hey, "Grief" was the name of my college intra-mural softball team.... we were like 0 and a gazillion.)

Never mind. Let the posts fall where they may. I just hope I don't suffer The Wrath of Frank.....

Posted by Susie at 07:29 AM | Comments (1)

Happy Blogiversary, Frank!

Frank provides a history of his rise to fame and power in the blogosphere. He links to some of his classic posts, so go re-live the fun....

Posted by Susie at 07:02 AM | Comments (1)


Just so that I don't forget to link to Frank on his one-year blogging anniversary on Wednesday, July 9th, I am going to write this congratulatory epistle and date it for two days hence!!!!!! Muh hah hah....

Happy Anniversay Frank!!!!!!!

Posted by Susie at 06:37 AM | Comments (3)

July 08, 2003

G.L.A. !!

Tiger requests the firing squad....ouch!

Thanks to Dave Barry's Blog, via Pixy Misa's links, I give you this: the top 10 reasons for wearing a kilt.
(I find the idea of men in kilts very sexy; almost as sexy as nightshirts!)

Posted by Susie at 03:00 PM | Comments (1)

G.L.A. !

Paul of Sanity's Edge states:"Nothing says stupidity like naked protesting." Gotta agree with that one!
He also relates an interesting way to be rid of those pesky old high school acquaintances....
And for Pete: a Caddyshack quote story...

Posted by Susie at 02:50 PM | Comments (2)

Exercise...and how to love it

Having fattened us up with his tasy recipe, Bill now shows us a quick weight-loss plan. Thanks, Bill!

Posted by Susie at 09:53 AM | Comments (2)

Be still my heart....

Buck the Marine speaks!

Posted by Susie at 09:20 AM | Comments (1)

Blogging Forecast

In keeping with my policy of making every effort to procrastinate working on my homework, avoid doing laundry, and generally being averse to accomplishing anything of note on my lone day off work, look for intermittent blogging with a chance of G.L.*

*gratuitous linkage

Posted by Susie at 09:11 AM | Comments (1)

I think Frank has a rival for my affections.....

...and it's John Collins. Read his answers to Acidman's 25 questions for Maripat and Lori.
Keep an eye out for the quote from "The Big Lebowski"! (I LOVE that movie!)

Posted by Susie at 08:31 AM | Comments (3)

This is cool.....

Want to know what Glenn (not Reynolds) sounds like? He has an audblog post! Actually, two.....

However, Language Alert!!!! Be sure there are no younger or more sensative listeners around before you play them.....

Posted by Susie at 08:16 AM | Comments (1)

July 07, 2003


*gratuitous linkage alert

Pixy Misa, this one's for you....

Posted by Susie at 09:37 PM | Comments (2)

Family resemblance

Since Victor is now a member of my family as a result of winning the contest, I thought he might like to see a photo of the immediate family......

View image

Posted by Susie at 09:01 PM | Comments (3)


Frank has out-done himself in today's In My World! Go here immediately!

Tiger is back from camping! Woo hoo!

Pixy Misa has almost as many videos as I do! (but his are dust free!).

John had a brush with death....

Bill posts a tasty recipe, replete with photos!

So go enjoy the blogosphere's return to activity; I have to go to the library for more books on U.S. Grant.

Posted by Susie at 09:05 AM | Comments (4)


Winner LC Victor wants to turn me into "Frank Answers". He says:

What is the *one* question you would like to see Susie answer? The prize is Susie answers it on her blog.

So, Loyal Readers--do you have a question for me to answer on my blog? You may leave it in the comments to this post. If there are enough to merit it, we may have voting and stuff.

Meanwhile, I will be trying to come up with quotes from Stripes, Caddyshack and Animal House to give Pete a fair shake in the next contest. (Pete, you are such a guy).

Oh, and Victor, you DO have to add your new family to your Christmas List--but in return you will get many lovely crayon drawings suitable for refrigerator-posting (some of which may even have been drawn by the children!).

Posted by Susie at 08:43 AM | Comments (2)

The Winner!

I have decided to let the winning entry speak for itself.....

"Can't find the first one to save my life. I think it's enough for the win, tho.

Movie quotes:

2. Murder by Death, James Coco

3. Monty Python & The Holy Grail, Terry Jones.

4. Noises Off, Michael Caine

5. The Fifth Element, Bruce Willis

6. Airplane!, Lloyd Bridges

7. Jaws, Roy Scheider

8. Young Frankenstein, Madeline Kahn

9. The Blues Brothers, John Candy

10. Night Shift, Henry Winkler



Honorable Mention goes to:

"1. ??

2. Murder by Death, James Coco

3. Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Terry Jones

4. ??

5. The Fifth Element, Bruce Willis

6. Airplane!, Lloyd Bridges

7. Jaws, Roy Scheider

8. Young Frankenstein, Madeline Kahn

9. Blues Brothers, John Candy

10. Night Shift, Henry Winkler

Incidentally, I cheated on 2 and 10. I do need to get
out more.


And a Participation Acknowledgement to Loyal Reader Pete, who wrote:

"I got only 4. I recognize some of the others but I ca't place them.

6 - airplane - Lloyd Bridges
7 - Rugrats go wild - Charles Fenster ( I know that this probably isn't right
but it was in that movie)
8 - young Frankenstein - Madliane Kahn
10 - night shift - Henry Winkler

Too bad you didn't have some stuff in there from Caddy shack or Stripes."

Tsk tsk...that pesky # 1: "Lady Gloria, you are the only woman...at this table."
was uttered by the late Dudley Moore in the title role of "Arthur".

Victor is now my new brother. He has 5 new sisters (including me), two new brothers, 4 nephews, 7 nieces, some additional parents and myriads of in-laws, cousins, aunts and uncles, all anxious to borrow money from him.
But wait, there's more! he is also entitled to this lovely prize!

As a consolation prize, nor bizness will be added to my blogroll, as soon as I get a new mag-lite, which I dropped somewhere in the vicinity of the calendar script while fleeing a nasty looking spider.

Loyal Reader Pete gets the awesome privilege of seeing his name in bold on my blog.

Posted by Susie at 12:44 AM | Comments (3)

July 06, 2003

Public Service Pronouncements

Before I don my "professional attire" and head off to the salt mines for 12 hours of mediating teenage angst-driven disputes, threading movie projectors and serving popcorn to the semi-washed masses, I would like to point out that I was feeling particularly self-confident this morning and thus, attired in heavy-duty coveralls, lighted miner's helmet and sturdy boots, mag-lite at the ready and baseball bat in hand (for the critters lurking in the darkened recesses), I strode boldly into my template and added several links and logos. (I admit I flinched when I heard the scuttling of rats, but remembering my promise to Victor I did them no harm).

I have added Kevin of Wizbang, as well as his Tech site and also the Klink site for anyone still at blogspot wishing they could add comments.

Then, having successfully fended off the bats that dive-bombed me when I accidently stumbled into their lair, I also added the Blogspot Jihad Logo and an Amazon Pay thingee logo. (What the heck, right? May as well find out if any millionaire philanthropists are reading me....)

So, when I get home from work tonight, the contest deadline will have passed, and if I am alert enough I will declare a winner. Tune in tomorrow......

Posted by Susie at 10:55 AM | Comments (4)

Updated Update

Yes, Victor, I got your entry. See the update to Capitulation?

Posted by Susie at 10:47 AM | Comments (1)

More Gratuitous Linkage

Victor keeps blogging about some kind of tour. I think he's going on a trip to France with some really unlucky folks. Someone got stung by a bee, and someone else fell off a bridge or something. There is a nice colorful graph, though. I think it shows how much the taxi fare is in Paris.

James is in fisk-mode.

Kevin is guest-reviewing the new blog showcase.

Everyone else seems to have taken the weekend off.....


Posted by Susie at 12:56 AM | Comments (2)

July 05, 2003


Well, I now have three entries to my contest, but since one is from my brother, P.K., we can't count it. And it seems I stumped even him on two of them.....
He wrote:

"#3 "What? The curtains?"

#5 "Anybody else wanna negotiate?"?


I can't believe he didn't get # 3!!!!!! P.K. is the object of ridicule..... (family joke).

Anyway, I was thinking of ending the contest early, but since I need something to post on Tuesday I decided to adhere to my deadline for entries of July 6th. So if you know the answers to any of them go ahead and email them to me {GevKaffeeGal [at] att [dot] net} and I will acknowledge your (pitiful) efforts when I post the winner...

UPDATE: Whoohoo! Another contest entry! Hurray! That makes it three real entries, plus my brother (who actually only emailed me the two he didn't know). If I didn't have to go to work soon, I'd do something to celebrate (like have a beer for each entrant or something).
[Michelob. Honey Lager. I knew you were wondering.]

Posted by Susie at 08:56 AM | Comments (3)

You'd think it was a Holiday or somethin'.....

I've missed a few good blog entries lately, what with the combination of work and rolling waves of thunderstorms. What a day! The rain, wind, lightning, thunder and occasional tornado siren made it a memorable Fourth. The power flickered eight times, but never went out (to the disappointment of my clerks who wanted us to close, and the relief of myself, envisioning the nightmare of two theaters' worth of refunds--in the dark....) and the hail hitting against the plate glass windows while lightning flashed and thunder boomed made a pretty spectacular fireworks display.
More t-storms due today, so we should be fairly busy again. In the meantime, here are a few goodies you may have missed:

Bill Whittle posts Trinity as a two-parter. Irony in there somewhere, eh?

James posted an excellent synopsis of why we celebrate our Independence Day. Then Bill Whittle had to show him up.
Mr. Whittle showed me up too, James. I'm in.

The Emperor has more posts than I can link to on the subject of the Fourth and what it means. Head over and wander around. It's where I found out that Trinity was up.

Frank J gives us a History Lesson....

Everyone else either wishes the Yanks a Happy Independence Day or has gone camping.

UPDATE: In my desperate wanderings seeking "bloggy goodness" I discovered this important news flash (okay, so it's from February...I missed it then, ok? I wasn't even blogging then, ok? Just go read it. Thanks.)

Posted by Susie at 08:31 AM | Comments (2)

July 04, 2003


I believe I have mentioned before (though now that I think of it, it was probably at the old address) that for the past several years I have been employed by companies that believe "open 7 days a week, 365 days a year" is something to brag about--or at least adhere to.
Anyway, this means that odds are, if it's a national holiday, I'm working hard to provide you with your entertainment needs.
It also means that it has been a few years since I celebrated the 4th by attending parades, picnics or fireworks (I really miss the latter--I'm a big fan of fireworks, at least the kind detonated by professionals from atop the city's highest building, not the kind that idiots injure themselves using).

So I have my own way to celebrate our country's Independence: every year, on the 4th, I watch 1776.

Do not say anything bad about this movie to me! I know there are historical inaccuracies, dramatic license, whatever. I don't care. This movie reminds me, every year, of why we celebrate the 4th of July. It personalizes the Founding Fathers and makes history animate.

In 1776, John Adams is "obnoxious and disliked." Ben Franklin is a randy old rascal. Thomas Jefferson is a homesick swain. John Hancock is a long-suffering optimist. George Washington is "the gloomiest man" in North America. Edward Rutledge, Judge Wilson, Reverend Witherspoon, Samuel Chase...they are all representative of the people, real people, who sacrificed so much to create a new Nation.

These men made good decisions and bad ones, wrangled over pronouns and adverbs, joked and argued with each other, and despite all their differences, somehow managed to come to the life-threatening decision to commit treason against the Crown and declare the colonies Independent of Great Britain.

This movie commemorates what was just one more step in a long series of events that led from Bunker Hill to the Constitution. But this was the pivotal step. This event, the signing of the Declaration Of Independence, was the point of no return.

I cry every time I watch this movie because it makes me proud to be an American. We may fight among ourselves, like siblings squabbling over a toy, but ultimately, we are united, thanks to these great men. Happy Independence Day, America!

Posted by Susie at 12:12 AM | Comments (3)

July 03, 2003

Another Contest Update

Well, it seems that my offer of a prize in my Movie Trivia Contest has scared away even more contestants....

Is no one else up to the challenge?

Posted by Susie at 08:29 AM | Comments (4)

Humor alert.....

Frank. Need I say more?

Posted by Susie at 08:06 AM | Comments (1)

July 02, 2003

Could be worse....

A movie theater with worse infrastructure than mine!

Posted by Susie at 08:12 AM | Comments (1)


New In My World!!!!!

Posted by Susie at 08:02 AM | Comments (2)

Gotta love Texas....

Tiger, this one's for you!
Thanks to Who Tends the Fires.

Posted by Susie at 07:55 AM | Comments (3)

Contest Update

I have decided to add a prize of minimal monetary value to encourage contest entry. Designed by my brother PK, this useful set of eight identical postcards is suitable for framing, using as bookmarks (no--in books, not in your web browser), sending to friends via snail mail (postage not included), or as an icebreaker at parties.

So email me your contest answers: GevKaffeeGal at att dot net.

Thanks for playing.

Posted by Susie at 07:31 AM | Comments (1)

Tick tock....

Well, it's my Monday again (since Tuesday is my weekend...) so I expect Frank to have something fabulous for me to start my day. Let me check--brb.
Nothing yet. Drat!
I will compose a poem whilest I wait.

Is this the day
to have a parfait
or do you weigh
more than a lei
made of whey?

Posted by Susie at 07:16 AM | Comments (1)

Penny wise.....

I am having problems with my mouse. It squeaks when I scroll it. Actually, the noise sounds more like two rubber bands being rubbed together. Sometimes it sticks and won't go left. (Although ideologically speaking, I suppose that could be a good thing). I have tried cleaning it. There's no particulate matter stuck to the trackball. There's no cigarette ashes or spilled coffee gumming up the interior (unlike my keyboard). Could it possibly be because I went for the $5.99 model when I replaced the old one?

(Just wondering...since the plural of mouse is mice, and the plural of louse is lice, why isn't the plural of spouse spice?)

Posted by Susie at 06:59 AM | Comments (3)

July 01, 2003


I've already gotten my first email for the contest, with 16 out of 20 correct answers!
Apparently someone has alot of spare time on their hands.......

Posted by Susie at 11:39 PM | Comments (2)

You wouldn't get far in life not saying "is"

Imitation being the sincerest form of flattery, I have decided to have a contest!

It's a movie knowledge quiz, with a twist. I am going to give ten movie quotes that have become part of my family jargon. You need to email me [at GevKaffeeGal at att dot net] identifying the 10 movies, and the ten actors who played the character speaking.

The first person who emails me the most correct answers:
---becomes an honorary member of my family, since you've already got the jargon down
-- wins....... nothing of any monetary value whatsoever!!! (I knew that would get everyone all excited).

Pencils sharpened?

#1 "Lady Gloria, you are the only woman...at this table."

#2 "My fault, I should have blown first."

#3 "What? The curtains?"

#4 "Doors and sardines...that's what it's all about, really..."

#5 "Anybody else wanna negotiate?"

#6 "Looks like I picked the wrong week to give up doing amphetamines."

#7 "We're gonna need a bigger boat."

#8 "You men are all alike--seven or eight quick ones and you're off with the boys!"

#9 "Orange whip?"

#10 " This is Chuck to remind Bill to SHUT UP!"

No members of my family are eligible, since they would all get them all right and we'd have a tie.

Speaking of ties, if there is one, I'll pick a winner at random.

Contest ends at midnight EST July 6th, 2003.

I reserve the right to post your entries in my blog and make fun of them if I feel like it.

Posted by Susie at 07:40 PM | Comments (6)


Isn't modern technology marvelous? You can go to the library online, select the books you want transferred to your local branch, and pick them up there a few days later.
Of course, the catalog only tells you the title and author. It doesn't tell you that eight of the eleven books you found on Ulysses S. Grant were picture books for third graders......

Posted by Susie at 07:23 PM | Comments (5)

Bloggerial Coffee-Up

I went to the library to pick up the books I have on hold, and they didn't open for another hour. So I came back home to take a nap. And had the most bizarre dreams, which are fading too fast now for me to describe them. But I woke up exhausted.

So more coffee for Susie before she makes another attempt at the library.

And since I have never heard that it was against the law to type while incapacitated (while my pre-coffee driving would no doubt fall into that category) I am going to blog while waiting for the caffeine to take hold.

Well, I have this rant I've been saving for a rainy day. Let me drag it out of the cob-webbed strewn corners of my memory and see if all the parts are still there.

Ok, as my Loyal Readers are all aware, I manage a movie theater in my spare time. And it has come to my attention, in no uncertain terms, that human beings, movie patrons in particular, are slobs.

I'm not talking untidy. I'm not saying messy. I am accusing movie go-ers of full-bore, unmitigated, Oscar Madison-like disregard for any form of decency, common courtesy, Truth, Justice or the American Way.

Some (a few) patrons carry their empty popcorn bags and cups to one of the FIVE easily-identifiable trash cans adorning the lobby. Another small percentage sets their cups and bags on the arm rests, so they will be easier for the cleaning pixies to find. The rest--at least three-quarters--just seem to be of the opinion that if every square inch of theater floor within two feet of their seat has not been covered in a thick layer of spilled popcorn, sloshed pop, scattered Raisinettes and Gummi Bears, AND the packaging the treats originally occupied, then their movie-going experience was not worthwhile.

Some days I just want to put up a sign: THERE ARE NO CLEANING PIXIES.

Others, I am tempted to tell my clerks to just leave it--let the 4 o'clock customers sit in the trash of the 1 o'clock customers, and so on, so that by the time the 9:50 show rolls around, the patrons would be literally glued to the seats--or, at least up to their ankles in sticky trash. I wish I COULD do that and not get fired.....

Some shows are so bad that I pitch in to help the clerks clean. I've found apple cores (gosh! how come nobody told me we put in a produce department?), beer cans, whiskey bottles (empty, drat it!), condoms, baggies with popcorn brought from home, fast food wrappers, and every conceivable brand of bottled and cannned soda and juice and bagged or boxed cookies or chips or candy, none of which we sell.

So not only do people smuggle in contraband food items, they leave the evidence for us to clean up as well!

Of course, I can't DO anything I want to do, like yell out of the projection booth window: "Hey, you in the red shirt---I'll be over to your house later to grind Cheetos into your living room carpet and pour Dr. Pepper all over your kitchen floor!"

I would like to set up a little security booth, complete with burly guard and metal detectors, where we could confiscate smuggled snacks. Even if the confiscate-ees were too angry to buy OUR snacks, at least we wouldn't have to clean up the mess they leave with the detritus of theirs.

But, if we could afford that, we could probably afford cleaning pixies, and if we could afford cleaning pixies, then it would mean that we were actually making a profit, instead of just breaking even, and the only way to make a profit in the movie theater business is by selling concessions, since the movie studios get the money from the ticket sales....

...but that's the subject of another rant....

ADDENDUM: I realized that I neglected to make clear that one of the things that makes me angriest about the mess people leave is this:

When someone comes to the theater to see a movie, 90% of the ticket price goes to the movie studio that distributes the movie. So that over-priced popcorn pays the rent, the electric bills, the upkeep, the wages and salaries, the insurance, the exorcist--er, plumber--etc. etc.
Therefore, when people smuggle in their own snacks, leaving the trash behind, they have paid nothing to contribute to the clean-up of the mess they left. That's what really annoys me.

Posted by Susie at 01:32 PM | Comments (8)

A link up

Time to help a microbe on its way up the ecosystem food chain.
I cruised the zero-links listings, looking for a catchy title and found "Subversive Cognition". Then I headed on over, read a few posts, and decided to share...
So, Loyal Readers, check out this post, or this one.

Also, John Collins is now a Flappy Bird, and ahead of me in linkage by TWO. This is cool, since he only started blogging about a month ago! (ok, now he will be ahead of me by three, since I just added another link to his total....)

Posted by Susie at 09:58 AM | Comments (5)

Still too early to go to the Library.....

If you speak geek, you will probably enjoy (and understand) Pixy Misa's story. If you are geek-impaired, as I am, you will enjoy the title.

Frank answered another of my questions! Hurray! (Either my questions are getting better, or he's running out of things to answer....) He also has some Fun Facts about Hurricanes....

Tiger seems to have accidently had one of my days yesterday, while my day went fairly smoothly. Life ain't fair sometimes, is it?

Posted by Susie at 08:08 AM | Comments (2)

Slithering Reptile

New Weblog Showcase entry Patriotism vs. Nationalism, is a well-written, thought-provoking essay. Read it. Link to it. Debate it.

Posted by Susie at 07:24 AM | Comments (2)

My weekend

Since today is my "weekend" and I could sleep in, naturally my brain awoke long before my body and refused to shut up. Yes, I have a lot of things to do today, but I cannot do most of them at five a.m.!

First stop should be the library to pick up the books I have on hold for my "leadership critique" paper. I decided to do mine on Ulysses S. Grant. I considered Wilson, Jackson and Polk before settling on Grant, and this was before I found out about the Presidential Power-Up! All the more reason to analyze Grant's leadership style. The other students are doing wussies like Lee Iacocca and Margaret Chase Smith.

My other class requires an "industry analysis" paper. I still don't know what industry I will do--probably movie theaters? I'm not sure, though, if there is enough info on theaters to fill 15 pages (plus cover page, abstract, references, charts, etc.). Anyway, both papers are due the end of July, so I still have some time to procrastinate---I mean, put off doing my homework in order to blog for Pete's entertainment.

I also have plans to go see "Anger Management" with one of my nieces tonight. We are going to the 9:40 show, so I may have to take a nap this afternoon!

Posted by Susie at 06:17 AM | Comments (2)