Well I ransomed my car back from the mechanic for the cost of close to an entire paycheck ($260 out of $330). That really puts a dent in a girl's book-buying budget, let me tell you! But no car, no paychecks, and how would the various (federal, state, municipal) governments get their $90 a week from me if I didn't have a job? Hmm, multiply by the fraction and carry the denominator....the government keeps more that an entire week's take-home every month. Bummer.
I guess this is the point where a liberal would say "how wonderful to give my hard-earned money to people in Oregon who have immense difficulty mailing a $6 check for healthcare on time every month!" Being an evil and heartless conservative, however, it's all about ME, and the things I could do with that extra week's pay--like get health insurance in a non-Oregonian state....
Ah, well, spilled milk and crying etc etc....
I told the kids they could wear costumes to work tonight, and I haven't thought of one myself. My Snow White costume is too valuable to risk splattering with butter and Dr. Pepper, and my back-up Gypsy Fortune Teller outfit has too much dangling jewelry and flowing accoutrements that can get caught in machinery (Headline: Movie Theater Manager Managled in Tragic Projector Accident). Plus, having frittered away my paycheck on automotive repair, I can't afford to go buy a costume....
Don't worry, I'll think of something in the next couple of hours--if I had any green trash bags I could paint my face red and go as an olive.... (I didn't say it would be a good something....)
There's another one I particularly appreciated--maybe because I live in a city that thinks it's still really a town--and that's Everyone's from somewhere at Electronic Countermeasures. There are some follow-ups too, in case you are as interested in the story as I am.
And, to get in the spirit of next week's political/non-political divisions, I'm going to recommend you read these two entries: Legalizing Illegals from Peripheral Mind and Our Mission at Good News Israel Blog
Now everybody go vote, because the stupid LoL (which needs a witty tagline, by the way) is already stuffing the ballot box for their "we hate Charles Johnson because he tells the truth about us at LGF" candidate, and it would be a darned shame if that tripe wins....
Thanks to Pixy I found out:
If you have MT, you know there is this cool thingy where you can get the comments that are posted to your blog emailed to you. If the poster leaves a valid email address you can reply privately to their comment if you want. (It's also handy to let you know when a porn spammer has hit an old archived post, but that's not the point today).
So, last night I had a comment I wanted to respond to privately, so I headed over to check my email. Hmmm...no notifications, despite a couple of new comments. Oh, well, maybe the mail's slow. Check again in the morning...
Yep! There's the comments...okay. Um, wait. One's missing. Where's the comment I wanted to reply to? Hmmm...check the blog. Yep! There's the comment--I didn't dream it.
Well, it's a little more work, but I'll just go to his blog and get his email address...which I can't seem to find. Hmm. Now what? Leave a message in his comments that's completely off topic? It's not like this is an emergency or anything....
Reply in my comments? What if he never comes back to read it?
Last resort then--blog a reply.
Thanks for the link!
You may also want to check out this post which will tell you how to fix your display problems (the diappearing text and such).
Posted by Michael Williams at October 30, 2003 06:03 AM
Now, being as non-geek as it is possible to be and still be able to type, I am always grateful for MT help. But here's the thing, and maybe it's a petty quibble but I'm in that kind of mood today: I don't have any display problems.
My blog shows up just fine in IE 5.5 and Mozilla. Heck, except for a little problem with the calendar, it even displays great in Netscape 6.1. So Michael's comment strikes me as a little, well, curt.
It's almost like an aquaintance walking up to you at a party and saying: "I can get you a discount to fix that dent in your car."
What dent in my car???????
Only that's a poor analogy, because it would have to be a dent that he sees and you don't--but the same thing goes for the plastic-surgeon-offering-you-a-nose-job analogy so I'm struggling here.
Anyway, Michael, I am sorry you were having display problems when visiting my blog. Since I don't have those problems, I don't know what you mean by "disappearing text and such". What browser are you using? Why hasn't anyone else ever mentioned a problem? IS anyone else having a problem?
According to eXtreme tracking 64.63% of my visitors use MSIE 6, and 23.95% use MSIE 5. There are even a few visitors that use MSIE 4 and 3. So if the 88.94% of visitors who use IE are having display problems, why haven't any of them mentioned it?
So, gentle readers--Are you having display problems? And do I have to do this:
Go through your CSS and eliminate every "position: absolute" attribute, and your problem will be solved. It looks like IE doesn't like large floaters.
You'll probably do well to replace the "position: absolute" attributes with "position: relative", and then use tables to lay out your page. Replace every <div id=???> tag with <td id=???> and the appropriate table and rows, and you should be fine. Yes, using tables is cheating, but if IE doesn't want to play nice then there really isn't another option.
I don't even know how to "use tables".....Waaaaah!!!!!!!
And Michael, please--when you see someone hideously ugly on the street, it's really not nice to tell them that straight out, like Basil Fawlty's "My God, you're ugly!". You should always lead into it a little more gently, like "You know, I used to have a hairlip and a nose like Karl Malden's too. Would you like the name of my platic surgeon?"
Alliance business finally slain, I'm almost to tired to post. However, these two links won't wait until tomorrow:
All these months there has been a typo in my email addy, and it was only just today that it was pointed out to me! LOL! Thanks, Commissar!
and my car's in the shop getting new boots, so I will be blog reading and catching up on Alliance business and perhaps linking to a few choice posts. More anon...
So, let's do a quick round of Munuvia and see what's up....
One of the newest Munuvians is a blocked writer named Chuck whose blog is Writer's Noose. Chuck has taken a leave of absence from his job as a journalist to write, and is blogging because fellow Munuvian Jim recommended it as a good way to get in the habit of daily writing.
And now poor Chuck finds himself living in a Stephen King novel...
He's been having unusual mechanical difficulties.
His blog attracted a creepy troll who used his late gf's handle and called him by her pet name. The creepy comments resulted in her IP being banned.
He's living in an isolated cabin on a lake with a proported monster.
I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd be writing a horror novel with all this inspiration....
Since Kevin's hosting the Carnival of the Vanities next week, he's going to farm out the Bonfire. I'm kind of disappointed--I was hoping for merry mix-ups and general confusion ....
On Halloween, unlike most Americans, Evil Glenn does not put on a Halloween costume but rather leaves off his usual disguise. It's the one day of the year that he can appear as himself without causing mayhem and general panic.
Here he is (in the extended entry so as not to terrify witless my younger or more sensative readers):
Continue at your own risk!
Any criminal act can be hushed up or forgiven as long as you are a liberal.....
The really bad news is, all my links don't count double for the linkees anymore.
Ah, well, I figured it was just a matter of time anyway. And as long as he counts links to pp.mu.nu as being to practicalpenumbra.mu.nu I won't be TOO upset...
In other news, the LoL had 100% voter turnout and won the New Blog Showcase sponsorship this week. Both the Alliance and the Axis put up their highest participation percentages to date (44.9% and 25% respectively) but were no match for an organization specificly designed to take the sponsorship title...
Well, I was just going to post a ramble about various and assorted minutiae, but noticed that this is my 500th post and thus I feel the need to do something special.
(insert tastefully done photo of my cleavage here)
My dear blog friend Tuning Spork is a Monkees fan! He's also been keeping an eye on the Reagan "mini-series" and Congressional pay raises. But since a little of that serious stuff goes a long way with me, I really enjoyed his Baseball's Greatest series....
I saw this quiz at LeeAnn's and my answer was water so I didn't post it. Then I read at Munuviana that the Bartender was collecting our answers, so I did the quiz again and
cheated refined my answers....
Sweet and fruity, you drink to have fun and love every minute of it!
I wish there was some way to provide these folks with a Clue™....
By the time I got to the party, everyone there was drunk except for two nieces, two nephews and one sister who is on a diet. Plus most of the costumes had been dispensed with and there wasn't any food left.
The costumes I missed included one of my sisters as Little Bo Peep and another sister and brother-in-law as a nun and a priest.
I didn't stay very long...a party that is winding down is worse than a party that's a complete fizzle...
More work for the weary....
and testing the new Time Zone.....
and lamenting that I have to go to work soon and thus will miss my family's "October Party" which celebrates the October birthdays of 3 of my siblings....
although I have been assured that the drinking will go on past midnight and I can wear my "Movie Theater Manager" costume....
Anyway, the point of my time zone post thingee was that since I'm going to have to change my blog's time zone tonight anyway, I think I'm going to change it to GMT (aka "zulu time"). It's a Munuvian thing, and maybe just experimental anyway. I'll let you know if I decide to change it back....
My brother PK needs a blog. He is a terrificly entertaining writer. Just read what he wrote in the comments to this post.
Just say the word, PK, and I'll hook you up. Seriously.
and that's where I found this one, too...
Only I can't get the dang thing to post without messing up my whole blog. Sigh. And I was pi, too.....
So the last Sunday in October is tomorrow, which means that in a little over 24 hours most folks in the U.S. will be turning their clocks back an hour as Daylight Savings Time ends (of course, for our Australian friends, Daylight Savings Time starts Sunday).
Most folks. I'm not included in that. You see, I live in Indiana. We stay on Eastern Standard Time 365 days a year. Which means that at this very moment I have the same time as Jennifer, Blackfive and Harvey. On Sunday, however, I will have the same time as Ted, Victor and SilverBlue without my having to do a single thing. They do all the work, and I shift time zones. Cool, huh?
Except it gets kind of confusing around Prime Time, because when the rest of the country changes time, the TV schedule changes too...That seven o'clock sit-com? comes on at eight now. Letterman? 11:30 instead of 10:30. And just when you get used to watching the late local news at eleven pm, what happens? Daylight Savings again, everywhere else, and the now the news comes on again at ten.
Every year some state senator or representative in Indianapolis tries to pass a bill to get Indiana to follow Daylight Savings, and every year it never gets out of committee because nobody can agree which time zone we belong in. It's kind of like watching a revolving door going around, and you can't decide whether to get into the space with the old grumpy woman or the one with the scary-looking hippie...so you watch the revolving door keep going, and just stand there, while everyone else goes by.
And then you go home and try and remember what time Letterman comes on.
Go read this over at Rocket Penguins, who I found via Ted, Paul and Bill. How can I not blogroll a man who says: "Even if I wasn't pro-war, I couldn't be a member of the anti-war movement, because of the company I would have to keep." ?
Ladies and Gentlemen: A Guest Rant from my brother PK...
What’s In YOUR Wallet?
So much for a “No Hassle Credit Card.”
A few nights ago, I received an email statement reminder from my credit card company. I though this was odd, since I have had a zero balance for a while and I have not recently used the card. I hopped online to see what was up. I login to the credit card website and I find a “pending charge” for $24.95. I call the CC Company and I learn that it is from “NSS Magazine Outlet.” I never heard of them so I make a new call to the NSS’s 800 phone number that my CC provided. I reach a sexy-female-voicemail-system for “The Magazine Service Center,” in which the first option she says is, "If you are calling regarding a charge on your statement, or wish to cancel, press 1 now." Kinda suspicious, I think, for a Magazine company to have, as option 1, a choice to address problems with a credit card charge. Makes me think they EXPECT this, and it's too suspicious, and I decide to hang up. So, I research the company on the web and find tons of complaints about them, many posted at http://badbusinessbureau.com . NSS appears to use unauthorized credit card numbers to charge fraudulent amounts for un-requested, non-existent, magazine subscriptions. Then, I read, when you call to complain, they will ask for more personal information and then try to talk you into approving the fraudulent charges. Ok. I get it. I am a victim of credit card fraud. I don’t know exactly how they got a hold of my CC number, but it doesn’t matter now. It happens to the best of us, now I just need to deal with it and simply make my credit card company aware so they will take care of it. No problem...right?
It's around 8PM. I call my CC Company and, after punching in numbers for 2 minutes to log into their phone system, I reach a human (I think) and I spill my guts. I explain that I never heard of the NSS Magazine Outlet, I explain that it is a fraudulent charge, I simply ask to have the charge removed, and I want to have my CC number changed to PREVENT them from posting any more fraudulent charges. The girl tells me that she can cancel my card, but she can't order a new one until tomorrow. Fine. Whatever.
She tells me that once I get my statement next month, I can write a letter explaining my dispute and mail it to them, and they will review it, blah blah blah... I tell her I need her to take care of it now. I am letting her know NOW that the charge is fraudulent. She tells me I have to call the special Disputes line, extension 1215, tomorrow regarding my disputed charge, but they are only open during limited hours when it is inconvenient for me to call. Of course.
Then she let's me know, "as a courtesy," that now, even though my CC card account is closed, this will in no way prevent anyone ELSE from charging fraudulent amounts to my name. I cannot use the card number myself anymore, but apparently Kennedy’s will have no problem (Kennedy is PK slang for "criminal"). But, if more fraudulent charges do occur, I may dispute each charge in writing. Wow! Sounds like a good time! Who needs the Bravo Network when one can just sit at home all day contesting the deeds of petty Kennedy’s?
So the next day I have to use up my lunch break to call their "dispute line" from work (where several co-workers get to bask in every-syllable I utter). Unfortunately, since I can't log-in to the credit card company's phone system anymore (now that my card is cancelled), I have to deal with some phone operator human (I think), who, by the tone of her voice, seems to assume I am a Kennedy that has just murdered the REAL card holder. After finally verifying my identity, I ask her to connect me to the Disputes department.
... silence ...
"Hello?" I say. "The Disputes dept., extension 1215." I repeat.
"We need a five number listing to direct your call," She mumbles.
Huh? "I was given a four digit extension. 1215. THE DISPUTES DEPARTMENT." I reply.
"What is this in regards to?" She asks.
I should have said, "I am obviously calling to order a pizza, you Glittering JEWEL of Colossal Ignorance!"
Instead, I replied cooperatively, "Well, I am calling to dispute a fraudulent charge on my account."
"Uh huh ? ... She yearns for more explanation...
So, I explain the whole thing to her, thinking, "Ok, she must be going to help me herself."
After I finish my story, and now that my co-workers have overheard all the details of my CC tragedy, I await to hear this lady's course of action to finally resolve my simple request…
"Ok, let me connect you to the correct department for that." She concludes.
AAAAHHH!!! What a JEWEL!
After being on hold for several minutes, some guy picks up who says,
"Sir, I understand your credit card was cancelled by accident?"
... pause ... (as I try to pick up my jaw, which is resting on my desk)
"No." I say.
"Are you calling about your card being cancelled by mistake?" he asks again.
"No. Not at all." I reply.
"Oh." he says.
... pause ...
"What were you calling about?" He asks.
"As I explained to the woman who I spoke to before you, I am calling to dispute a fraudulent charge on my credit card."
"Oh, do you know who they are?" he asks.
“What?” I say. (I don’t understand the nature of the question.)
"Do you know who made the charge?" he asks.
"Yes, the NSS Magazine Outlet is what YOUR Company verified yesterday." I said.
"I mean, do you KNOW them? Do you do business with them?" he asks.
"NO. I have never heard of them before yesterday. I don't do business with them. It is a fraudulent charge. I have found on the Internet hundreds of complaints of how that company is fraudulently charging peoples credit cards, and I am letting you know that they have done it to one of your customers...namely, ME,...and I want the charge stopped. "
"So, you don't know who they are? You haven't approved that charge?" He asks.
AAAAHHH!!! What a JEWEL!
I repeat, "NO! I have never heard of them before yesterday! I don't do business with them! It is a fraudulent charge!"
He brilliantly tells me that once I get my statement next month, I can write a letter explaining my dispute and mail it to them, and they will review it, blah blah blah... (Whooda thunkit?)
I tell him I need him to take care of it now. I am letting him know NOW that the charge is fraudulent.
"You have to dispute in writing." He says. “That’s the dispute policy.”
"OK. Then why do you have a dispute line, if I can't dispute a charge over the phone?!"
"I don't know." He says.
"Let me speak to somebody who does know, is your supervisor there?" I say.
"I am the supervisor." He says.
We went back and forth for a while, but I was not allowed to dispute the charge except in writing.
So, apparently, any common Kennedy can go and charge up whatever they want without so much as filing a piece of paper, but I have to write a damn letter to protect MY own interests.
Even though Demosophia has a great post, and so does Captain's Quarters, I still would like to remind my readers to vote for Irrenconcilable Musings, the URL of which is:
http://irreconcilablemusings.typepad.com/main/2003/10/defending_the_b.html because the Liberal Menace is voting early and often....
My most Marvelous Mentor and Benevolent Benefactor, Pixy Misa, Keeper of the Templates of Munuvia, points out an excellent New Blog Showcase entry that I overlooked: Totalitarianism 3.0 at Demosophia.
The problem with most liberals is they think they are moderates.
UPDATE: Serenity has a superlative definition of a conservative. (Now if only I could remember who it was that pointed me there....) Ha! The brain worked! I checked Serenity's trackbacks and it was Heather!
Harvey is flattering me...I must ping him good in appreciation. Jennifer is taking questions for him, by the way. He is an expert on currency, penguin porn and dairy products, so be sure to ask something about one of those. Also, no one hates him.
The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
She sells sea shells at the sea shore.
Yes, I spelled it with an "i" this time instead of an "o". I've bowed to peer pressure.
This stream-of-consciousness blogging is not successfully dislodging the ideas I had for blogging earlier today but didn't get to because I was doing Alliance stuff.
Complain. That's one. I was going to complain about having to crawl into my template and change a bunch of links to new munuvians, but the actual link changing isn't as bad as it used to be. It's the dang rebuild that takes so long.
I saw Seabiscuit last night. It was really good. That was another one. But I just don't feel like a long movie review right now. Or a short one.
Rant. I had a rant--I'm pretty sure I did. Can't remember now what it was about, though.
Frank posted. I'll go read that. Perhaps I will be inspired.
I just want to remind everyone to go read this terriffic post on the Hosting Matters outage at Irrenconcilable Musings.
UPDATE: I want this hat!!!!!
As usual, Frank's world is much better than ours....
Although it's early, I've stumbled across two excellent posts in this week's New Blog Showcase.
The first is at Irrenconcilable Musings:Defending the Blogosphere Front in the War on Terrorism, and the second is at Captain's Quarters:Fareed Zakaria Loses It.
I highly recommend both these posts.
I think my brain has a slow leak. Or maybe keeping a vampire's hours is finally catching up to me. Whatever it is (mad cow disease? brain cloud?) I've been extremely forgetful lately.
Maybe "forgetful" is the wrong word. Absent-minded? It's not like I've forgotten my name, or where I parked my car, or who the President is. But recently, more than once, I've forgotten whether I started a show or not. This is different than losing track of time doing paperwork and suddenly realizing it's 7:20 and I need to dash upstairs and hit the start button. This is nagging the kids to sweep the lobby, or getting candy from the storeroom, or taking a quick smoke break, noticing it's 7:30, and not knowing if I started the 7:15 show. Sometimes I have to listen to see if I hear it playing because I honestly cannot remember whether I started it or not.
I suppose part of it is due to the fact that it's a repetitive behavior; when you perform the same routine over and over, day after day, after awhile it becomes rote. Unless there's something out of the ordinary to make it stand out in your mind, it all blurs together. But that doesn't explain why the other day I was standing in the middle of the lobby talking to the kids and I suddenly realized I had a lit cigarette in my hand. Granted, I was on my way out for a smoke break when I stopped to join their conversation, but I have absolutely no recollection of taking out a cigarette and lighting it. It's like somebody else did it, and then left me holding the evidence. My mind was absent when this occurred. I experienced a "Senior moment."
Being an individual of great imagination, many scenerios have occurred to me: early onset Alzheimer's, stroke, brain tumor, the afore-mentioned mad cow disease (love that beef!!!), carbon monoxide poisoning, alien mind probes, multiple personality disorder, hardening of the arteries, and vast left wing conspiracy...Some of these possibilities are less likely than others, but lacking the medical insurance to pay for a CAT scan, it's difficult to eliminate those.
So for now I think I'm just going to attribute it to the looney left and the massive stress their idiocy causes. Hmmm. I think I'll sue PETA.....
Sorry for the pongs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It really must be an MT issue, since I'm seeing three trackbacks some places, and I only re-published once (and according to the trackback sending screen, only the four pings that didn't go through the first time were being re-sent).
Ah, well, at least it beats having to enter all the trackback urls manually like with typepad....
Congrats to my pal Silver Blue! Here's a little link-love as a reward for being my ten thousandth visitor since I installed sitemeter. And the coveted runner's up linkage goes to Jon, who has an excellent post on military morale
I want to thank all the little people for making this possible.
Now everyone stop by Silver Blue's so he hits the coveted 10K today!
Well, it looks like I'm going to hit the 10k visitor mark sometime today while I'm at work. If you notice you're the one who makes the ticker kick over, please leave me a comment to that effect so I can offer you a terrific deal on some one-of-a-kind, like-new merchandise for the low low price of--wait! everything must go! Incredible mark-downs!
...looks like I got my next week's Bonfire post. I try and stay ahead of the game....
Yay! The Mustard Story!
I don't know why, but that reminded me of a customer yesterday who asked if we accepted cash.
Blackfive has a frightening story about blind prejudice.
Hmmm...looks like I have inadvertantly done a "Letter of the Day" post--"M" is for Michael Moore, mustard, money and Muslim....
Thanks to Tiger I learned: You are Mr. Brown, who can moo!
Munuvians "moo" with the best of 'em!
Although I have nothing of interest to say as I start typing, that certainly isn't going to stop me from posting, especially as I haven't missed a day since I started back in April and I'm not going to mess up my streak now.
Well, I need to go check my recent entries to see if I have anything worthy of the Bonfire...
Oh, and I voted for H&H in the New Blog Showcase.
Well, with one cup of coffee in me and my brain beginning to re-inflate to normal size, I can tell the exciting adventure of the power outage.
Okay, it wasn't really exciting. But for an hour there is was pretty suspenseful, not knowing whether we would be able to open for the 4:30 show or not. The kids' collective groan around 4:20 when the lights came back on was probably audible in Chicago, and then there was a mad scramble to do in ten minutes what usually takes us 45 minutes to do. Got the blood pumpin', that's for sure. The rest of the evening was anti-climactic after that.
I admit it. I've been guilty of feeding the trolls. My only excuse is I'm hard up for entertainment these days since grinding the working poor under my boot heel is starting to pall....
Oh, wait--I am the working poor--or would be, if I had any children to support on my earnings. Good thing I was sensible enough to avoid unwed motherhood. Though, now that I think of it, I'm losing out on a lot of tax credits, and earned income credits, and child care credits, and "refunds" of money greater than what I paid in, all because I am childless. There's WIC, food stamps, government-subsidized housing--all I have to do to get on the gravy train is have a baby. Tempting.....
Serenity has a lovely rant about workplace inanists--you know, those people who are afraid to shut up because their brain might actually engage?
Well, time to face the day....(yes, at noon--wanna make something of it?)
Thanks to LeeAnn I've learned:
It seems like the weekend just flies by too fast to ever finish working my way through my "to do" list. Some things get put off 'til next weekend, but some just fade into a distant memory that bobs tantalizingly just below conscious thought until it either sinks into obscurity or rises as the Spectre of Things Undone to wreak havoc and devastation at a later date. (This will probably occur on Tuesday when I run out of clean underwear since I didn't get the laundry done).
Jennifer has her interview with Frank J. up. She is soliciting questions for the aforementioned cutie, Daniel. Not to be overly critical, since it was the first one and all, but the questions for Frank were pretty pathetic (mine included). I've got a much better question for Jen to ask Daniel than I did for Frank, and I think Jen needs to recycle Frank later in the series and ask him some of the questions people sent in for other interviewees....
Did you know that Cherry talks to people? Shocking!
Trey Givens spouts off about whales and sonar. He says:"Based on the opposition alone, I'm inclined to think that it's a REALLY good sonar system now. It probably kills terrorists on contact and cures baldness and makes mocha frappachinos and votes according to libertarian political values." Applause!
It seems that the Left's Darling of Dumb has been snubbed! Yes, snubbed by Academy of the Looney Left voters!
In a stunning upset, this year's Annual Ted Kennedy Looney Left Hipocracy Award was NOT presented to frontrunner and odds-on favorite, Michael Moore. Instead, Kennedy claimed the Award for himself yet again.
"It's fictitious!" Moore snarled, as he waddled out of the International House of Pancakes restraurant on Martha's Vineyard, where the Awards Ceremony has been held annually since 1970. "I'm a bigger hipocrite than Teddy and Joe Sr. put together!" Loudly blowing his nose into a red checkered bandana, Moore declined further comment before being greased and inserted into his limo by eight teamsters.
Let's hope he has better luck with next week's America's Lard-Tubs Chubby Boys' Regatta and Clam Bake Awards, hosted this year by Ted Kennedy.....
Well, my weekend is almost over and once again I have spent all my spare time playing on the internet.....someone needs to invent clothes that launder themselves and carpets that are self-vacuuming so that when I play on the computer I don't feel so guilty about it!
Anyway, Heather has done me the Great Honor of including me in her Gold Enclave of Privileged Capitalists. Yay! Now I just need to find some workers to downtrod..... (oh, wait, I already have some! ;)
The next Alliance assignment asks the question "What award would you give Michael Moore?" Goodness, there are so many to choose from! (And all involving odoriferous private bodily functions....). I'll have to think about this.
The letter "R" by the way, is for Responsibility (a "bad word" to JadeGold and the like) and 4 is the number of blogs I've pimped in the post....
Well, actually, I just read the blubs, and if it sounds interesting I go read the post. Two caught my eye this week. Hipocrisy and Hypotheses had a cute post about kids, malls, bras, elbows and coins, and She Who Will Be Obeyed (a fan of Rumpole of the Bailey perhaps?) posted about Israel.
So, did anybody find a new blog candidate they liked better than these? That's what the comments are for, Gentle Readers.....
Sigh. Once again the Chicago Cubs manage to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Now I need another beer to drown my sorrows....
For the Geeks:
I think he should use his own words as his tagline:
"... there's more to the blogosphere than InstaPundit, you know."
I laughed so hard I think I hurt myself.....
It seems like I have to ask that question more times every day. Today it's in response to a post of Jim's that I found at Jennifer's. Last night it was in regard to an incident at work where I had to call the police because of an altercation between two patrons in the lobby.
No, altercation is too harsh a word. Here's how it went:
One of the local institutions for the mentally handicapped brought a small group of their disabled residents to see a movie. This is actually a fairly common occurance; there are a number of group homes, halfway houses, homes for "troubled youth" etc. that make the dollar movies their destination of choice for "outings". Ordinarily there's no trouble. Last night, however, one of the group snatched a pager off the blouse of a woman who was there with her children to see a movie (for some reason she had her pager clipped to the front of her blouse). One of the attendants took the offender out to their van since this misbehavior cost him his movie-going privileges. But is this the end of it? No. The woman wanted her money back since she was now too traumatized to watch a movie.
Here's the thing. Once you've purchased your tickets, they're YOUR tickets, especially once they've been ripped in half when you enter the lobby. If you suddenly decide, for whatever reason, not to see that movie, you're SOL. However, because sometimes problems do arise (for example, Grandma being conned into taking the kiddies to a PG-13 movie, which she realizes after a few minutes is not appropriate for 10 years olds) I have movie passes which I can distribute at my discretion. So when the woman demanded a refund, I gave the cashier five movie passes to give her. (Aside: why does everthing happen at show time? I have a movie to thread and start, and that's when people call to speak to me, or inform me their little darling has just puked all over the restroom, or an irate customer wants their money back because although the cashier TOLD them before they bought their tickets that the theater was very full and they probably wouldn't find seats together, they couldn't find seats together...).
Movie passes were not acceptable. The woman wanted her five dollars back. I explained to her that torn tickets are not refundable for cash. We cannot re-use them. She told me she was so upset by what had occurred that she would never be returning, therefore the passes were useless to her. Now, I don't know her--it's possible that she has a long-buried childhood trauma that makes her terrified of the mentally disabled, and the extremely remote chance that she might encounter another one of these groups on an outing has her paralyzed in fear. However, she discarded her ace of trump with that remark, because, since her future business is not now an issue, I have no business motivation to appease her (if I could, short of actual cash back). So I apologized, took the passes she returned to me, and went back to work.
Enter the boyfriend. He wants her money back, too. He explains how her poor children had to see their mother "attacked" in our lobby. He asks how I would feel if the same thing had happened to me when I was with my children. I do not say "Well, it seems to me that making this big of an issue of it is going to scar the children far worse than shrugging it off and explaining that the poor man didn't know any better," which is what I was thinking. So he says that if I don't give them her money back he is going to call the police and press charges. Fine, I'll call the police for you.
Which I did. The desk sergeant made me repeat what had happened three times; I think he was as incredulous as I that someone wanted to press charges against a mentally handicapped person for grabbing a pager off of someone's blouse. Meanwhile, the counselor who was not sitting in the van with the "perp" called her supervisor, who sent over the institution's security guards and a head honcho.
When the first patrol car arrived, the woman ran over to the officer to tell him what happen before he could even get out of his car. I don't know what she said, but I heard his reply: "Ma'am, I can't make them give you your money back."
The woman, two officers and the head honcho eventually had a huddle in the lobby. My cashier told me later that the head honcho gave the woman five dollars. I assume from this that charges were not pressed against the mentally handicapped man, who was taken away in another van by the institution's security guards.
I feel very badly about involving the police in something so petty (especially since one of the officers had been listening to the Cubs game when he got the call), but what other choice did I have once the boyfriend said he wanted to press charges?
The kids--I mean, my employees--later said it was the best entertainment they'd had all week. I was wishing for a six pack of Michelob tucked into the ice making machine when it was over ...
(Note to jim long: although this is based on a true story, names and certain details have been withheld to protect the parties involved; it is unlikely there will be a newspaper account of it, and probably no police report either. If this makes you doubt my veracity, keep your opinions to yourself. Thank you).
UPDATE: I removed the quotes from jim long's name since I have apparently misjudged him by my implication that that is not his real name. I apologize for any inconvenience.
Well, I was going to complete my Alliance assignment and post a question for Jacques Chirac if I had the floor at a press conference, but I can't think of one other than asking him if he was born with his head up his ass, or was it done surgically, and which country did he have to go to for the procedure? Since I'm sure this is a question he has to field at every press conference, I don't think it will count....
Anyway, Pixy Misa has posted his pictures from the Anime Convention, Bill brings us up to date on the Family Reunion, and I still haven't gotten the Silent Running thong that Windrider promised me for winning his contest....
Well, got a few errands before I head off to the theater...
Kelley of Suburban Blight has the Cul-de-Sac up, and very kindly mentions my post about my moral dilemma on linking to a bigotted blogger. She also apprised me of the unfortunate retirement of S-Train from blogging. So, rather than my own link-fest, you all are going to get a rant instead....
Every blogger is different--some convey, some elaborate, some exaggerate and some just plain make stuff up. But the bloggers in question assume that their readers are intelligent enough to know the difference between fact and fiction, opinion and satire, fantasy and delusion, and react accordingly. Which brings up a recurring theme of mine:
What is wrong with people?
Particularly "Andrew H" and "jim long" and the other orcs who led the harrassment in S-Train's comments.
What next for these yokels with too much time on their hands? Start demanding that Tiger post his law degree so they know he is a real lawyer?
How about Mookie? Planning on stopping by there to demand she prove she is a teenager because she posts about High School?
Or me? Are they going to bombard my site administrator demanding to know my whereabouts so they can see a movie for a dollar?
This is not journalism, folks. This is blogging. This is about people spouting off their opinions, musing on the events of their day, sharing a joke with friends. A blog is not a police blotter or a newspaper or a scholarly journal and the orcs who think otherwise need to have their internet access yanked from them and their keyboards covered with molasses.
S-Train, we'll miss you.
A miracle occurred and I was going to hug the secret to myself, but feel compelled to share it with my Readers: I got Saturday night off! Late Friday afternoon the GM called me and explained that he and the owner had decided that the company's managers deserved a little comp time for the long hard hours of summer (average work week:58 hours) and thus the GM was going to take my Saturday night for me. Whoo hoo!!!!!
This meant that I got to attend the play my nephew was in, and the post-show party at my brother's house! It also meant I got to watch the Cubbies trounce the Florida Fishies but good. Hurray! And it was my favorite kind of Cubs game--Grand Slam homer in the first and no looking back. (And they weren't even playing at Wrigley Field with the wind blowing out!).
The play, by the way, was torturous. It was a Youth Theater production so the cast was 90% kids, and they were terrific! Singing, dancing and acting--all excellent. The problem was the play itself. Oh. my. God. It was apparently based on some 70's comic strip about "diversity" (although it wasn't called that in those days) and the casting was, well... creative? I mean, my blonde-haired, blue-eyed nephew was playing the Native American....and the little boy who was supposed to be the Hispanic had an accent that sounded like Apu from the Simpsons....and they kept talking about "soul brothers" and other 70's slang, and one of the girls was swooning over Paul Newman and Robert Redford (can you say Great-Grandpa?).... thank God it was only an hour, or I would never recover from the trauma. The really sad part is those kids were good! It's a shame the director didn't get them some better material.
I'm behind on my link-love for the week, and so I hope to get a nice ping-slaught going tonight when I get home or tomorrow at the latest, but here are a few not-to-be-missed posts you may have, well, missed:
Now I have to go catch up on my blog reading.....
*bonus points if you can tell me who starred in the movie with that title
Cubs win! Man, I'm getting too old for this much excitement....and we've only gotten through three games. By the time the Cubs make it to the World Series, I'm going to be a basketcase. D-Film at 11....
Being a Catholic, one of my best things is guilt. And I have been tormented by guilt for all of two or three minuntes for forgetting to say something really nice about the author of Bloviating Inanities.
Plus, he is one of the top 10 funniest bloggers I know.
Next year, ask for pictures of pussies.....
Luckily Unfortunately I have to go to work, so I will be unable to provide him with the link-love he so annoyingly naturally whimpers for requests.....
I really have to cast my New Blog Showcase vote for the Bartender, Mr. Taylor, and his new blog Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon. His entry, Hangover-Part I really is the first part of a series on dealing with hang-overs (which no doubt explains why Blackfive has blogrolled him....)
Bill, in honor of your blogaversary, check out these puppies:
Now, the praise--um.....for a guy with ball gout, you don't smell too bad?
I was wandering the blogosphere and came across a new blog with an amusing post that I decided to share with my readers by linking to it. But then I read some more of the blog, and was dismayed to find blatent bigotry in some of the other entries. This created a dilemma for me. To link or not to link? The post I enjoyed was not bigoted. But would I, by linking to the blog of a bigot, be encouraging bigotry? In the end I decided not to link to the post, but then came the question: am I doing my readers a disservice? Am I underestimating their good sense and ability to realize that I don't endorse bigotry of any kind?* Would many of them even follow the link and read the post, let alone the rest of the blog? Perhaps I should rather link to the bigoted posts and take issue with them? But that might bring untoward attention to a blog that deserves to wither away in obscurity....
What do you all think?
*understood exceptions: telemarketers, PETA activists, and puppyblenders
or, Evil Glenn in this case. Alliance members have noticed there seem to be two decidedly different sides to the Puppy Blender, and it seems that perhaps he is aware of it after all, as indicated by this tatoo he has on his inner thigh....
I hate to shop for things I need. I can shop for days if I'm not looking for a particular item, but if there's something specific, like a battery for a telephone, I hate shopping for it because it can never be found. Seriously. I think I have been to half a dozen places looking for a new battery for my portable phone with a zero rate of success. So I have two choices. I can drive halfway across the city to the battery store (frightening, isn't it? there is a store that sells only batteries; for some reason it always reminds me of Bob & Ray's "House of Toast") or I can buy a new portable phone identical to the one I have for $19.99 at the Walgreens up the street.
I hate making decisions. I always make the wrong one.
UPDATE: Thanks to Dana's suggestion in the comments I checked out batteries.com. Cool place! Unfortunately, my battery runs $14.99 (before shipping). I think the new phone wins......
Munuvia's own DFMoore just left comment number 1000 on my blog!
Next milestone: MT entry # 500....I'll keep you posted.
Let's play "search engine referrals" shall we? They are mostly pretty mundane, searches for "susie" or "penumbra" (although none for "practical"), but there are a few "what??????"s. To wit:
blog spank bottom
carbohydrate color limerick
The relevance of the misa today
Daniel Moore Your Daily Dose of Pizzazz (yes, for some reason a search for Daniel's website resulted in a visitor to my blog. Thanks, Daniel!)
welcome addresses for bithday party
+penumbra +picture +stroke
and my favorite, toilet phillumeny.
The last one was almost a whaddayacallit (that thing where there's only one google result), and I was the top return! (there were, surprisingly, two results).
Hey, it's my day off! Cut me some slack here!
Everything happens while I am at work in the Technology Free Zone™! Bill found John Collins, everybody started to get together a bloggers fund drive, and then John refused to take anyone's money, all while I was blithely threading "Finding Nemo" and doing the week's payroll.
Munuvia was overjoyed at the news that our lost sheep was merely in jail rather than gracing someone's table as a fine mutton stew. I just wish he would let us at least stand him a few beers....
On the other hand, the sonovabitch had us worrying ourselves into a decline, so he can buy his own damn beer!
Look what I got in my email:
Grand Opening Invitation!
You are cordially invited to attend the Grand Opening of the blogosphere's newest Casual Drinking Establishment - Madfish Willie's, where every day's a holiday and every meal's a feast!
Madfish Willie's is officially open for business at www.MadfishWillies.blogspot.com
Madfish Recipe for Success™:
Mix two parts Humor, one part Satire, 1/2 ounce of Common Sense, shaken, stirred, served straight up, on the rocks, and ice cold! Garnish with liberal dose of Blog Linkage. Pour into giant plastic cup. Sit back in comfy chair and to hell with everything else!
So drop on by for a couple of beers and a little bit o' bullshittin'!
Madfish Willie, The Bartender, & GoatHead
I wonder if I have to R.S.V.P.
Our concessions sign fell down today. Luckily, no one was injured, but the rest of the night we had to tell customers that the prices were on the sign that was laying on the counter over there, and we're sorry but some of the letters fell off...
We are seriously worried, Gentle Readers.
Anybody have any ideas on how to track down a missing blogger?
UPDATE: After exhaustive searching through my comments I found John's IP address. The website that I know of for tracing seems to be down. So, for anyone who may be geek enough to trace our lost sheep, it's 22.214.171.124
For the lazy or click-through impaired, Jen posted:
This was a note left for the person who orders office supplies:
"My computer is almost completely out of toner!"
and Pixy Misa has a great post discussing
... a truly wonderful study that brings to light something we all know: Idiots are not aware that they are idiots.
I guess to me that's the scariest thing about idiots--their ignorance of their idiocy.
So it's Sunday once again, and I have a full day at the salt mines** in store for me. Oh joy.
*Improved! Fewer Words! Less Filling!
I only ever had one troll comment I altered, and I mundanely changed the invective to praise.
Next time, if there ever is one, in addition to banning the IP I'll use the "mad lib haiku" method of comment editing.
Thank you, Frank, for another great Public Service suggestion....
I feel like Bill or Paul--I got nothin' folks. Plenty of rants, but nothing that's currently annoying me enough to write a screed about. Sometimes when this happens I do a link-fest, but I don't feel like it today.
So, how 'bout those Cubs?
Yeah, I'm not going to get my hopes up, either.
Did you ever notice that watching that little cursor-place thingee throb while it waits for you to begin typing can be hypnotic? Vastly superior to staring at a blank typewriter page (for those of my readers old enough to remember typewriters).
Ok, there's an idea. We'll talk about how old I am. I'm so old that I wore tye-die the first time it was in vogue. I'm so old that I remember black-and-white TV shows. I'm so old that we made TV dinners in the oven when I was a kid. I'm so old that my first job was working at Burger Chef. I'm so old that we had a Magnavox Odyessey for our first video game console. I'm so old that we had one of the first laser disc players ever made. I'm so old that our VCR remote had a wire connecting it to the machine (and the only buttons were stop and pause). I'm so old I remember reel-to-reel. I'm so old I remember when milk was delivered but pizzas weren't. I'm so old I remember when computers were programmed on punch cards. I'm so old I remember going with my dad to buy a new tube to fix the tv (no, Jennifer, not the picture tube). I'm so old...that I forget what the next thing I remembered is....
I'm so old that pretty soon my annual 29th birthday is going to have become my annual 30th birthday. Bummer.
I got an email joke I have to share---here is the text, the rest is in the extended entry.....
I recently read your column advising grandparents on "tough love."
It offered advice to grandparents with respect to misbehaving
grandchildren. His parents will not allow me to spank him, so I just
take him for a ride and he usually calms down afterward. I am enclosing
'Tough Love' Grandma
It's New Blog Showcase voting time again, folks, and this week's decision was tough. I wish Tiger was still doing his reviews so I didn't have to be the one to say "Pickins' are slim this week, Joe-Bob." That's right: hardly a link-worthy candidate in the bunch. .
So, this week, instead of choosing the best entries, I'll be voting for the least worst.
There you have it. Go forth and vote on thine own blogs....
because I just don't understand what Rush Limbaugh said that was "racist".
Dusty Baker's statement sounds a lot more racist to me, but he is
"excused" because: "But as a black manager, I can say things about blacks that a white manager can't say, and whites can say things about whites that blacks can't say."
Excuse me, but isn't that remark even worse than his white-people-can't-take-the-heat remark? Isn't racism denying someone a right or privledge or even an opportunity based on their "race"? So isn't it racist to say that it's only ok for blacks to criticize blacks and whites to criticize whites, but there's no criticism allowed across colors? Isn't that racism???
And if it's racism anytime a white person criticizes a black one, why isn't it racism when a black person criticizes a white one?
UPDATE: Okay, having read a few different blogs on this topic, I get it now. It's not that Rush made a racist statement, it's that some people don't like him anyway. Hmmm...there are quite a few people I dislike....wonder if I can persuade them to resign.....
Thanks to Heather, I discovered:
"You are Windows 98. You're a bit flaky, but well-liked. You don't have a great memory, but everyone seems to know you. A great person to hang out with and play some games."
I couldn't get the code to display properly, but if you want to see what operating system you are, head over to angelweave and follow the
yellow brick road link.....
October 10th is Bill's first anniversary of blogging (as far as he can remember, anyway), and so to honor his request for boobs, I looked high and low for a picture of Abbott and Costello, but to no avail.
Sorry, Bill...you're going to have to make do with this:
So--what do you all think of the banner Jennifer made for me?
Sorry for all the pongs! My computer locked up in the middle of all that pingage, and I had to reboot. When I came back, it said no pings had been sent, so I checked a couple sites and there were no trackbacks from me, so I republished. Sigh....guess I should have checked all of them. Some folks already have two from me, and others still none....
Uh oh! Look out! It's possessed!!!!!! It stopped halfway through and started over!!!! auugh!!!!!!
Duck and cover!!!!!!! It's an inadventent pingslaught!!!!!! Sorry.....
This is gonna be some super-duper, all-out full-throttle pingage, folks, so hold on.
Jennifer has a really cool new banner which she did her own self. I asked her to make me one with penumbras, but she couldn't find any that were practical enough. However, she did make me a splendid title banner (which looks just like that button over there <------that I am linking to myself with) and as soon as the flamethrower is fully re-charged and I can find my map of my template (which I scribbled on the back of an old Chinese take-out menu--moo shu pork! yum!--and then put in a "safe" place, which is always a mistake) I am going to try and unfurl Jen's banner over my digs.
There's an adorable kitty over at the Cheese's. Its name appears to be Chickenhead. Wonder what being called that does to a cat's psyche?
Generalissimo John Collins is still missing.....
Tom's Nap Room is one of my new favorites....read this!
Well, the Linkmistress of Chaos needs to get off her hiney and do some day-off chores. If I missed you this time, I still love you, I just got a cramp.....
Thanks to Jim for suggesting it in the comments!
1. 1988 Mercury Tracer
2. 2 door hatch-back
4. no red racing stripe
5. no air conditioning :(
6. new battery
7. bad boots?
8. almost time for my 5th free Midas muffler
9. odometer still hasn't hit 100k yet (though most people assume it has--the sillies)
10. am/fm stereo (woo hoo!)
11. no CD or tape player
12. second engine (first was destroyed in a tragic catalytic convertor disintegration circa 1994 on I-80/94).
13. gets gasoline every two weeks whether it needs it or not.
14. the ashtray is conveniently located in mid dash, not somewhere near the floor.
15. gets an oil change every six months or 500 miles, although the six months usually comes first.
UPDATE: Susie's car
Ok, so I owe you 35 things....
UPDATE #2: Jim has finished my list for me!
Now I could be all petty and point out that he calls me "Penumbra" instead of "Susie", but maybe he didn't think he knew me well enough for the first-name basis thing (though if that were the case you would think he'd call me Ms. Penumbra). However, my car is extremely flattered he took the time to do it, although she tells me there is NO truth whatsoever to #15.....)