November 30, 2003

Nothing important...

Just a reminder that Sunday's my long day at work. I also have a ton of homework I've been neglecting, and since Monday starts the last week of the semester...

The Forecast: intermittent blogging with chance of comments

Posted by Susie at 12:15 AM | Comments (3)

November 29, 2003

This is a test

I'm trying out the Bartender's block quote script. Here goes:

In the event of a real emergency, this blog will either comment on it or ignore it, depending entirely on the capricious mood of the author.

UPDATE: Yay! it works! Yay!

Posted by Susie at 12:06 PM | Comments (9)

Update

The good news---Bear has fixed the link to Psyche's Knot's New Blog Showcase entry....
The bad news--anyone whose vote had linked to the previous URL isn't being counted....

If you had linked to http://www.psychesknot.com, please change your link to http://psychesknot.typepad.com/psyches_knot/2003/11/black_decker_yo.html
in order to be counted...

Posted by Susie at 11:40 AM | Comments (0)

November 28, 2003

Barking Moonbats yapping...

I see that General Douchebaggery has piled on the "global warming" post. No big surprise.

John Cole has a good roundup of what the "wingnuts" are saying about President Bush's visit to Iraq. (Thanks to Kevin for the pointer). What is wrong with these idiots???? If the President gave a kidney to his mother, they'd find a way to suggest that Haliburton was making money off the surgery....

My detestation for Hilary Clinton runs deep, but I'm not going to make up stupid paranoid stories about why she went to Afghanistan for Thanksgiving with the troops, nor use her visit as another excuse for mindless rambling on why I hate her so much...

Posted by Susie at 09:52 AM | Comments (3)

Work! What is it good for?

Our first show is at noon today, although I don't know how well it will be attended since yesterday's newspaper, no doubt in its haste to bring us 37 pounds of post-Thanksgiving sale ads, neglected to list our four shows prior to 4pm today....

I still have to go in, though. Sigh....

Hmm...pick this one for the Bonfire, LeeAnn!

Posted by Susie at 09:27 AM | Comments (1)

November 27, 2003

More Turkey Day stuff(ing?)

I forgot to mention when posting from my sister's that
1) I was wearing a bra.
2) We devoured two 16 lb. turkeys, 10 lbs. of potatoes (mashed), 3 casseroles of stuffing (in addition to what came out of the birds), 4 dozen dinner rolls, 2 broccoli-cheese casseroles, one cauliflower-carrot casserole, two pans of corn pudding, a gallon of gravy, a veggie and dip tray, a beef-and-cream-cheese ball and crackers, and 8 desserts, including bread pudding with caramel sauce, pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, cranberry bread, double chocolate brownies with m&ms, pecan cake and two others I never got a chance to identify...oh, and key lime cookies and fudge, so I guess it was 10 desserts.
3) One of my brothers, his wife and son didn't come because they have the flu. (Which is why there was no green bean casserole, because that's what they usually bring).
4) My sister's neighbor has a yard sign with a dove on it that says "War is not the solution" or something similar. My eldest niece and eldest nephew kept thinking of hilarious ways to vandalize it.....(they didn't do it of course, being good kids, but we all had a good laugh).
5) One of my nieces thinks it's all about oil. She's in college.
6) Another niece took a drink of water--that turned out to be my nephew's white wine. Hilarity ensued.
7) I have seven nieces, four nephews, four sisters, two brothers, add the spouses, subtract the 3 sick ones, add my parents...there were 23 of us, if I carried the decimal correctly.
8) Euchre is a card game popular in Indiana. It's played with half a Pinochle deck (no numbers less than 9).
9) My sister has a dial-up. AOL to be precise.
10) AOL sucks.

Posted by Susie at 08:15 PM | Comments (8)

And now, the rest of the story

So I took a deep breath, shook off my irritation at the irrationality of some environmentalist wackos, and moved on to the next entries in the Political category. What a refreshing change to read this on an Environmentalist blog:

During the discussion, several of the environmentalists casually referred to business and industry groups as "the polluter lobby".
To me, this kind of label implies that polluting is the central purpose of their businesses. Somehow, I don't think that's the case. Maybe if we stop referring to them as the polluter lobby, they'll stop calling us "environmental whackos".
His entry is the showcase is definitely worth reading, and voting for.

I have mixed feeling about endorsing the next entry, from Counterfactually Speaking--this quote is an excellent example of why I am reluctant to recommend it:

"I agree completely that America is in fact the world's most dangerous rogue state and that it has very often interferred with disastrous results in the affairs of sovreign nations. But I also say that the US has not intervened when it should have."
Huh.

Joe's Thoughts has an entry that is short and sweet. He gets a vote, too.

There are only two non-political entries so far, and of the two I highly enjoyed this amusing entry from Psyche's Knot. Although Venturpreneur is well written, the issues really didn't interest me. If you're a lawyer or interested in finance, you'll probably enjoy it.

Posted by Susie at 07:25 PM | Comments (2)

Ok, now this is annoying

I just headed over to the New Blog Showcase to see if there were appreciably more entries than when I was there on Tuesday (there are now 6 rather than just two). The first one listed showed this blurb:

"Global warming over the next hundred years could trigger a catastrophe which rivals the worst mass extinction in the planet's entire history, according to new evidence unearthed by scientists at Bristol University. The researchers have discovered that a mere six degrees of global warming was enough to wipe out up to 95% of the species which were alive on Earth at the end of the Permian period, 251 million years ago. Up to six degrees of warming is now predicted for the next century by UN scientists from the intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, if nothing is done about emissions of the greenhouse gases, principally carbon dioxide, which cause global warming. "

So I clicked the link and went to the blog and here is the entry in its entirety:

Global warming over the next hundred years could trigger a catastrophe which rivals the worst mass extinction in the planet's entire history, according to new evidence unearthed by scientists at Bristol University.

The researchers have discovered that a mere six degrees of global warming was enough to wipe out up to 95% of the species which were alive on Earth at the end of the Permian period, 251 million years ago. Up to six degrees of warming is now predicted for the next century by UN scientists from the intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, if nothing is done about emissions of the greenhouse gases, principally carbon dioxide, which cause global warming.

So, not only is the entry so short that it is itself an excerpt of itself, but it's also that leftist-hysteria, the-sky-is-falling nonsense that completely overlooks the fact that it contradicts its own premise...

Premise: Evil Humans are Destroying the Planet
Evidence: The same thing happened two hundred and fifty-one million years ago...

...and this is possible--how?

Now, maybe if they were using this as an example of what happened to Atlantis...wait--were there even humans on Earth two hundred and fifty-one million years ago? Evil, polluting, greenhouse-effect CO2 producing humans? No? Are you sure there weren't cave men with SUVs burning fossil fuels? Because if that's what causes the planet's temperature to rise, and there weren't any when it happened then....

You know, these bozos are probably correct that another Ice Age is coming--and if it's been two hundred fifty-one million years since the last one, then we're probably due. But to pretend that there is anything we can do to prevent the planet from continuing in its natural geologic cycles is like starting a U.N. Committe to prevent earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and typhoons.

I can just see the LoL wackos lining up to link to this nonsense.....

Posted by Susie at 06:35 PM | Comments (6)

Ahhhh......

I'm at my sister's, stuffed with turkey, sated with stuffing, burgeoning with bread pudding and generally enjoying the company of my family. This sister has IE 6, and I wanted to see how my blog looks with it (it looks good!) and also how the Alliance displays (almost as good as Mozilla and much better than IE 5.5). So, I hope you all who celebrate Thanksgiving have a filling and fulfilling day. Next up: a nap, perhaps? Oh, wait--it sounds like a Euchre game is getting started. Cards first, then nap.....

Posted by Susie at 03:02 PM | Comments (0)

Evil Glenn's Thanksgiving

The Puppy Blender, despite his evil ways, celebrates Thanksgiving just like any other American. Of course, his menu varies slightly.....

Appetizer
Pate de puppy on toast points
Kitty Kavier
Ham(ster) stuffed Mushroom caps

Soup
Chow Chowder

Entree
Individual Pupkithams

Salad
Tossed Iceberg Lettuce with Chipmunk Croutons

Dessert
Cheesecake with Strained Poodle Sauce
Peekapoo Pie
Posted by Susie at 11:02 AM | Comments (6)

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am up at this ridiculously early hour because I have to make the mashed potatoes for the family feast. There may be more blogging once I am replete with turkey and dressing...or there may be napping instead. Life's unpredictable.

Posted by Susie at 09:13 AM | Comments (5)

November 26, 2003

Braless Blogging

Heather brought it up, Harvey elaborated, and now I'm continuing to move the discussion on a tangent.

As a woman who has flunked the pencil test since she was 16 years old, wearing a brassiere is a necessary evil for me. I hate it, but I do it--at least in public. But once I'm home, the bra goes. Ah, the relief! The unfettered freedom! I'm blogging braless right now. I would estimate that 90 to 95% of my blogging has been braless, because I usually do it when I get up in the morning or after I get home from work late at night. Yes, I'm usually wearing my nightie when I blog. There's a running joke about women and shoes--lots of shoes. I only have two pairs of shoes I wear regularly. Shoes don't do it for me. I am a lingerie junkie. Silk, satin, cotton, flannel--name a fabric, I have half a dozen nightgowns made from it. In winter I layer them--a long sleeved flannel gown over a thin satin-and-lace one. I have several drawers full of panties, chemises and teddies. And I have probably two dozen bras--not one of which is comfortable to wear.

Why can't they make a comfortable bra for women who flunk the pencil test? Is the basic engineering really that difficult? If it's pretty and lacey it's about as supportive as the Emperor at an A.N.S.W.E.R. rally. If it supports, it looks like something they used to restrain the less lucid inmates at Bedlam, and is about as comfortable as Ted Rall at a Dittohead convention. Don't even mention the "underwire" to me. How is a curved piece of metal digging into my ribs supposed to provide support to my breasts? Maybe an undernet, or an undersaucer, or even an underplate, but a wire????? pu-lease.....

Someone, somewhere, needs to design a bra that is pretty, supportive, and comfortable. When they do, they'll make a fortune (even if I'm the only one that buys it....)

UPDATE: Since there seems to be some confusion as to the meaning of the "pencil test" let me explain: since I am able to hold a pencil against my chest using only my breasts, the latter are large enough to require external supports. If you "pass" the pencil test, you can safely venture out into the world without breast restraints (which are necessary to minimize damage to certain muscles which occurs in those who "flunk" the test if support is eschewed.)

Posted by Susie at 11:53 AM | Comments (35)

November 25, 2003

A Call to Arms

The *spit* LoL *spit* (aka General Douchebaggery) won the New Blog Showcase sponsorship again this week. Too many Alliance members are going blithely on with their own lives rather than participating in this life-and-death struggle against General Douchebaggery, and this must stop now!

Fellow Alliance Members: Voter Apathy is killing us!

Yes, Frank! I'm talking about you! I know becoming rich and famous is of paramount importance right now, but you are the Alliance's Blogfather! The least you can do for your humble followers is vote!

Yes, Emperor Misha! I am talking about you! I realize your Imperiousness has a long line of victims guests awaiting your attention in the Imperial Torture Chamber Game Room, but we of the Alliance need your weekly vote to smite the Liberal Menace!

Annika! Serenity! I know you have important issues to discuss on your blogs, but slapping down the idiotarians at least once is important, too!

Romulus, James, Denita ... please, vote in the New Blog Showcase! Maripat-- I know you are busy with two blogs, but is it really that difficult to link to a deserving new blog each week?

If you don't want to belong to the Alliance anymore, please let me know and I will take you off the roster... otherwise, please link to a New Blog Showcase entry every week....it's not that difficult, and you might find a new regular read as well!

Posted by Susie at 01:20 PM | Comments (6)

Mini Book Review

I just finished reading The Da Vinci Code. It was kind of a Robert Ludlum lite. That's actually a good thing, since I gave up on Ludlum years ago--not because I came to dislike his writing, but because his books were so long that the print was almost microscopic (and after The Bourne Identity the next few seemed--gosh, I don't know, not as good? Still pre-coffee here and the vocabulary generator hasn't been kick-started yet).

Anyway, I really enjoyed The Da Vinci Code. It was full of cool historical details and interesting theories and religious conspiracies. It made me want to study the Knights Templar and Emperor Constantine and Zoroastrianism and Art History. Which is what is so totally cool about the internet. Just type Rosselyn Chapel into Google and you can find pictures! In my long-ago youth it would have taken me hours searching the card catalogs to find what I did in a few seconds online. (Now it takes hours to wade through through the hits!).

So read The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown. It's shorter than Ludlum.

Posted by Susie at 11:09 AM | Comments (6)

November 24, 2003

For the Love of God, Please Stop!

Grrr....I hate Sunday! But only because I'm stuck all day in the Technology Free Zone™ and it takes me two days to catch up with the blogosphere. I have to leave for work in a little while, and I've still only read a third of my usual favorites (because the ones I have read keep linking to new (to me) interesting ones I have to go read...when will it end? Stop! Please stop! There are too many good blogs! Someone needs to stop Good Blog Proliferation NOW, before I have to quit my job to keep up!)

Thanks. I needed to get that off my chest.

Posted by Susie at 12:59 PM | Comments (3)

We interrupt this blog

for an unpaid non-political semi-important announcement....

Madfish Willie's is starting a "send me your posts" LinkLoveFest!

Tales From The
Champagne Room!

[Remember: There is no sex in The Champagne Room!]

Read through these previous posts of

The Champagne Room
to get an idea of what he's looking for.
To be linked in The Champagne Room post just e-mail the link(s)
to your post(s) by Saturday 12:00 noon and he'll include you in the weekly
LinkLoveFest on Sunday.

Thanks to everyone who have sent him links in the past and he'll be looking
forward to more of your Tales From The Champagne
Room!

Posted by Susie at 11:57 AM | Comments (1)

Delete, delete, delete

I go to work for my 13 hour day, and I come home to find that half the men in the blogosphere have pingged me. Thanks, guys!
And I don't mind the occasional, inadvertent pong--it happens to the best of us. Only, for every ping there is a corresponding email--which means my inbox was jam packed with pongs this morning....

Sigh. Pixy, I think you're right. We're gonna need a bigger boat....

Posted by Susie at 11:38 AM | Comments (0)

November 23, 2003

Genetics 101

Yes, Harvey has revealed my dark secret:

Susie's mom

I inherited my large fonts from my mother...

Posted by Susie at 10:55 AM | Comments (3)

Words to Live By

organization.jpg

Posted by Susie at 09:55 AM | Comments (0)

Picture for Harvey

Now Harvey wants gratuitous breast pictures to belatedly celebrate his 1000th post...

Sigh...the things I do for the men I stalk!

Susie topless

Posted by Susie at 01:36 AM | Comments (5)

November 22, 2003

A Blast from the Past

Well, I'm trying something new--I'm posting before I read what everybody else wrote while I was working and sleeping. This means
a) I'm out of the loop
b) I'll be linking to yesterday's hot topics

Whoo hoo!

Of course, I may accidently stumble upon something current while seeking the links to yesterday, but so be it...

First up, James of VRWC wrote an awesome essay on war, peace, and shades of gray. An excerpt:

I understand what some on the left are doing. They want to do right thing by respecting others territory and livelihood, the want to be nice and not offend. I agree wholeheartedly with the basic sentiment. But the scenario does not permit this. Some on the left opposed the war in Iraq because of humanitarian reasons. Basically, they were worried, afraid and angered and what could happen to the innocent Iraqis caught in the crossfire in a war between the US and Saddam Hussein. Because conservatives supported the war so much that can only mean that we are heartless people who could care less about a few thousand dead foreigners. And since we are heartless, we can’t possibly be fighting the war to liberate the Iraqis, we have to have other motives. Taunts of “imperialism” and “no blood for oil” became chants.
Go read the rest. It's choice.

Bill, copying Paul as usual, is complaining he doesn't get the comments and linkage he deserves.

If I'm going to keep doing this FOR YOU, I want a few things in return. I want more comments. A lot more. I want comments and e-mails. I want some recognition, damnit! I want more links! I want more love and appreciation, more acknowledgement. Did I spell that right? See how hard this is? I have to actually spell things correctly!!! I'm working here, people! See? You spell acknowledgement twice. TWICE!! And if I spelled it wrong, that just proves my point. I think.

Bill, here's how it works: I used to link to you a lot. I commented a lot. I even asked quite a few "dear Scabby" questions. But did you return the love? No. You were too obsessed with Michele and your Lileks man-love to pay me any attention. So eventually my unrequited affection simply burned itself out, and I started stalking Paul instead. It's your own fault, ya ingrate!

LeeAnn loves beer, but has been forced by an evil cabal to drink Bud Light. My heart goes out to her. People, we need a Beer Fund here....

Frank is continuing his campaign against muckadoos. He's also offered the top ten reasons why he didn't post anything funny on Friday. I laughed hardest at # 9 and #6...

Silver Blue finds the greatest pictures! He's also looking for a snappy new tagline. Go help him out here...

Tiger has decided to racially profile his readership. As this could have important implications for his future blogging efforts, please stop by his blog and help him out. He's also developed a new Blogger's Award for Humanitarianism in the Blogosphere. My Marvelous Mentor and Beloved Benefactor Pixy Misa of Ambient Irony is deservedly one of the first recipents.

I think I still owe a few people pings, like Daniel and the Bartender, but I'm all blogged out...next time, guys, ok?

Posted by Susie at 12:30 PM | Comments (6)

November 21, 2003

Your Attention Please!

The King of the Blogs tournament has its own url now, complete with cool picture of Napoleon! Everybody bookmark it and check out the action!

UPDATE: ROFL at this entry: How to Handle a Divorce from Evangelical Outpost.

The other entry so far, Stuck in the Middle from Dr. Adrian Warnock is a very well written post, only not funny.

Posted by Susie at 12:12 PM | Comments (1)

Oh frabulous day!

The work week begins....oh, joy.

When I took the new cash register in yesterday I learned that the owner forgot to order us oil. My assistant was on top of things, though--he had already called the local supplier and ordered some. Unfortunately, the oil available locally is mostly coconut, so #1 it's higher in fat that the "lite" oil we usually use, and #2 it has a consistancy closer to shortening than oil at room temperature, so we're going to have to break out the hairdryer to unclog the lines on a regular basis.

It's gonna be a fun weekend! Not!

Posted by Susie at 11:58 AM | Comments (2)

November 20, 2003

How weird am I?

From Jimmy, who I found via Serenity, comes this quiz result:


Of all the weird test takers:

33% are more weird,
9% are just as weird, and
58% are more normal than you!

There you have it, folks-- I'm weirder than most.

Posted by Susie at 09:32 PM | Comments (7)

Google Bomb

General Douchebaggery

Bartender<---Harvey<---Tom

Posted by Susie at 05:26 PM | Comments (0)

Ill Assortment

Well I had planned on posting long before this, but my email provider has been having "issues" and I've spent the last hour and a half trying to access my email account. Sigh....
So assorted things I am considering as blog-fodder:

My GM got called to active duty and is headed to Iraq for a year. This leaves the owner in charge. (Can you hear me screaming? It's interrupted by the occasional whimper...). I mentioned the dead cash register didn't I? Without the GM to run errands the only way I could get a new one was to join Sam's Club and go buy one myself (which I did yesterday). So I have to take it into work today and program it (or I could go in early tomorrow, which is tempting). Not sure which will triumph, but since I'm a terrific procrastinator (it's one of my best things) tomorrow will probably win out.

The Lost Post was a reponse to something Harvey posted about. It had to do with "online persona" (as opposed to "real persona" I guess) and the fact that a fellow blogger once expressed surprise at learning my age, because my "online persona" was so youthful.
The thing is, I don't have multiple personas. Seriously. What you read is what you get. The things I rant about online are things I rant about to family and friends. The anecdotes I share have usually been on their second, third or fourth telling by the time I blog them. And stuff I don't talk about on my blog is stuff I don't talk about. Maybe the impression of youthfulness I apparently give is due to a basic immaturity, or maybe it's because I spend my work days exclusively with teen-agers. The latter is the reason that phrases such as "Dude, I'm freaking serious" and "I'm going to just chill at the crib" have crept into my speech...

There was some news thing that's making the blog rounds. Oh, yeah--Massachusetts...Gay Marriage...blah blah blah. Big deal.
It's not like marriage means anything anymore. It used to mean a life-long committment to one person. Now it's like a job--stick with it a few years, get bored or tired, and then look for a new one. So the opinions I've read about gay marriage being bad because gay men are promiscuous or something don't really make sense in a country where Bill Clinton is still admired by some people, divorce is an eventuality people prepare for with pre-nups, and people have kids together without ever getting married. What needs to be done is outlaw divorce. Then when two people get married they have to mean it, whether gay or straight.

Well, I guess that's about all I've been saving up. Next up: The Exciting World of Laundry, Part I: to Bleach or Not to Bleach, That is the Question....

Posted by Susie at 01:16 PM | Comments (3)

Tom does Beer

I'm a beer girl. I'll drink wine if it tastes like kool-aid, and hard stuff if it tastes like a milkshake, but usually I'll take beer. Tom likes beer, too. Only he's a little bit of a beer snob, I think:

Sure, Europe has its share of bad beer too, but even good American Beer is bad Bier.

Ok, he admits he drinks Miller High Life occasionally....and I have to agree that he has a point when he says "Take for instance this low carb beer like Michelob Ultra. This is basically for people who do not like beer, but just like to pee a lot."
Personally I would rather drink donkey pee than Bud Light. And I never have understood why anyone would drink Coors when tap water is just as flavorful. But I also think there are some good American brand beers. Michelob has several good labels, like Amber Bock, HefeWeizen, Black & Tan and Honey Lager. I don't think a beer has to be bitter to be good (no stout for me--sorry!).
But to be fair to Tom, I've never been to Germany to drink bier, so maybe I've never had a really good beer.
I've had bad ones, though....and if you ever offer me a Bud Light, don't be surprised if I mock you for the rest of your life....

Posted by Susie at 01:20 AM | Comments (15)

Last Blog Standing

Here's an interesting idea from Nick Queen of Patriot Paradox....

I seek to propose a new contest for bloggers that aren’t new and have been here for a while, and aren’t going anywhere. Comment please and let me know what you think. The permalink to the entry is:

http://www.patriot-paradox.com/archives/000172.html

What I feel the blogosphere needs is a way to gauge
the worth of the grizzled and beaten veterans, who
cannot enter the New Weblog Showcase, and seek to
compete for the attention of others. So I propose a
monthly tournament. Such a tournament would only be
open to Bloggers in the bottom half of the Ecosystem,
and would be unaffiliated with the Alliances. The
competition would be a sort of Last Blog Standing. At
the beginning of the month there would be 20 to 30
competitors. Each week half would be voted forward to
compete the week after, perhaps by different themed
entries or such (this would maybe be categories sent
in by bloggers throughout the blogosphere). Their
posts would be up and presented by a different Blogger
each week (rotating maybe like the Carnival does) and
votes would be tallied by trackbacks, one vote per
blog in a hope to not have issues like the one at
Truth Laid Bear right now. The top half each week gets
to go forward and then finally the last week is the
week where only one blog remains. The prize would be
maybe a link at the top of all the participating blogs
for the month afterwards.

The Blogosphere Tournament (idea more fleshed out)
1. The winners each week will be based on the
favorites as voted by blogs throughout the
blogosphere.

2. Each month new tournament will begin. The deadline
for signing up each month will be by the 20th of the
month prior. For example, for the tournament that
begins December 1, 2003 all participants will have to
have signed up for the tournament by November 20th,
2003.

3. On the first day of the tournament all participants
will be introduced and the contest begins. For
December here are the deadlines and dates for the
contest to be played out.

December 8, 2003 First Round entries due

December 12, 2003 Voting ends for first round

December 13, 2003 The first round winners are
announced; these will advance to round two (if 20
people enter 10 will advance, if 15 enter 8 will
advance; if 10 enters 5 will advance and so on)

December 15, 2003 Second round entries due

December 19, 2003 Voting ends for Second Round

December 20, 2003 Second Round winners are announced;
these will advance to the Final Round

Decmber 22, 2003 Final Round Posts due

December 29, 2003 Voting Ends for Final Round

December 30, 2003 Final Winner for December Tournament
Announced

4. Final Winner will advance to the next months Final
Round automatically to try for a repeat chance.

5. Entries are post that the individual blogger will
write and choose to put in the competition. If a
blogger does not have entry in by due date they are
disqualified, unless extenuating circumstance warrents
(this would be up to the tournament judges)

6. Votes for the individual posts will be tabulated by
trackbacks. If a blog does not have trackbacks and
wish to vote they need to leave a comment on the
tournament entries posts to point to their entries.
The will need to add a link to the entry or entries
they are voting for and a link to the tournament entry
posts at Patriot Paradox.

7. Each week the blogs that are in the top half of the
vote-getters will advance; the other entries will have
to try next month; in case of a tie that would place
someone in the losing or winning half they will
advance.

8. The final winner will be determined by votes as
before. If their is a tie the judges will choose the
winner between the tied entries.

9. The judges will be determined each week by those
that wish to "sponser" the tournament for that month.
Those that "sponser" will have their logo on the top
of the tournament posts and will be responsible for
final tie breakers and any arguments that arise.

10. The winner will be given an image to place on
their website showing they won and will be placed in
the sidebar at the site as the winner for the month
they won.

11. To qualify to enter the blogs must be lower then a
large mammal in the ecosystem at The Truth Laid Bear
as of the first day of the month they enter the
tournament. One winner per month. All results will be
posted at the Patriot Paradox.

Sounds to me like Nick's serious about this...Who's game?


UPDATE: Updated rules here and this addition:

"This will be a floating award. This means that if you win you can place the pic on your site, letting everyone know you are the winner, but if you are unable to hold on to the victory in the next competition, you must give it up and the new victor gets the trophy. You then must reenter, hope you get in and try again."
Posted by Susie at 12:54 AM | Comments (0)

November 19, 2003

Last Words...

Just what were Ugly and Queasy's last words?

Ugly: "I should have had a V-8!"
Queasy: "Or at least an M-16..."

Sorry. Really sorry. I'll try to do better on the next assignment...

Posted by Susie at 12:09 PM | Comments (1)

Lame Post #222

There's been a lot of redecorating going on in Munuvia lately. Check out Jennifer, Daniel, Mr. Green and Madfish Willie's.

I may need to get some new curtains and matching throw pillows so I don't feel quite so decor-challenged....

Posted by Susie at 11:47 AM | Comments (3)

Up the Brits!

I have always admired the British. England is, after all, the "Mother Country," and even though we had those little disagreements with her in our rebellious teen-aged years, she eventually came to accept us as adults and we didn't hold a grudge. If you listen to the major media, however, you'd think the average Englishman today is as distainful of America as the French.

Not so! At least, not if this is anything to judge by. Go read "Europe Hates America"--you'll be glad you did!

Posted by Susie at 11:13 AM | Comments (0)

Tune in Tomorrow

I got home from work, had pizza and a beer, and I'm going to sleep in tomorrow...yep, it's my weekend! Yay!

Tomorrow I'll link Daniel and Silver Blue and Madfish Willie and BigStick and The Bonfire. I might even do some laundry. Yep, it's gonna be exciting around here. Heck, I may even try to reconstruct the post I lost this morning...

Right now, though, I'm going to check on my clock radio and see if the Space Aliens have been back.

If you need something to read, check out Otto...he's pretty important.

Posted by Susie at 02:14 AM | Comments (2)

November 18, 2003

Space Aliens?

When I went to bed last night, my clock-radio said 1:55. When I woke up it said 1:37. Since it was light out, I first thought that I'd slept 11 hours. Then I wondered if the power had gone off and it had reset itself to midinight, since I really can't imagine sleeping for 11 hours. When I got to the kitchen, the clocks there said it was around 8am. The microwave clock wasn't flashing, so it wasn't a power outage. Hmmm...
My clock radio now says 2:53, so it's working, apparently.
Tres bizarre...

Posted by Susie at 09:29 AM | Comments (5)

Spam imponderable

I don't get it--does somebody really think that I'm going to read an email with the subject "qodakd kxduek"?

Posted by Susie at 08:14 AM | Comments (4)

November 17, 2003

There's a new keyboard in town....

Well, I ran (actually drove) up to Office Depot and bought a new keyboard. Now I have to get used to it! It's shaped a little differently than my old one, it seems to tilt down toward the back even with the little feet up, and the keys have a different resistance than my old one. I think there are a couple buttions in different places, too. Sigh....ever notice how the older you get, the harder it is to deal with change?

But, on the bright side, it works!

Posted by Susie at 01:16 PM | Comments (3)

basd mojo

i asm not hasving muach luck qwith thingas electronic lastely--my keyboasrd ias not behasving asuddenly--the caspitasl asnd the ashift don't qwork asnd the left keyas asll type in pasiras....

i blasme the liberalas

blogging qwill be light until as neqw keyboasrd casn be obtasined

Posted by Susie at 10:30 AM | Comments (2)

Aside

It's been a banner week for Bonfire entries here at Practical Penumbra, but I couldn't submit my whole blog (I don't think), so it took me a long time to pick the worst of the worst. You'll have to check the Bonfire tomorrow to see which one "won".

Posted by Susie at 09:13 AM | Comments (1)

November 16, 2003

I think I can be forgiven for hating my job

Of course, every disaster seems to happen on a Saturday, but that's probably just because problems seem magnified by the amount of business affected.

I mean, of course, that if one of the projectors had chosen to die on a Tuesday, we probably would've only lost 20 or 30 customers. But no--the projector for screen two picks a rainy Saturday afternoon to decided not to turn on its projector lamp. Picture a hundred people sitting in the dark listening to dialog--kind of the reverse of the old silent movies. Sigh. Either God really does hate me, or I'm being punished for thinking my work is too repetitive (which I had just been thinking shortly before The Incident).

After much stress, frustration, long distance phone consultations and apologetic refunds, and the cancellation of two shows, a technician was finally obtained to repair the problem. It was at this point one of the cash registers died. The last time we lost a cash register it took three or four weeks for the home office to get us a new one. Picture Thanksgiving weekend with only one concessions line. Someone kill me now.

Posted by Susie at 09:36 AM | Comments (4)

November 15, 2003

Harmless Fun

This looks fun! From the BoiFromTroy via Trey Givens I found:

Google Fight!

Posted by Susie at 09:35 AM | Comments (3)

Fun with Pings

To Trey and Nick: Yay!

Trey--thanks for blogrollin' me, dude!
Nick--There seem to be two story threads going! Way cool!

UPDATE: MT seems to be having issues this morning! Dang it! The trackbacks aren't going through....
I'll keep trying though (and hope Trey didn't break anything when he turned his on..... ;)

Posted by Susie at 09:14 AM | Comments (2)

November 14, 2003

Kind of like playing telephone, only different

Over at Patriot Paradox Nick has a challenge--he has started a story, and wants the rest of us in the blogosphere to continue it.

The challenge: Take the paragraph to your blog, linking to my post and the first paragraph, of course, and expand on it. Then someone will link to your post and mine and continue on, a paragraph at a time, to see what shape the story takes. Here goes:

It was a dark and stormy night. Having just finished the newspaper, Jake walks back to his desk and takes a seat behind it. He turns to look out the window. Lightning dances across the horizon, and lights up his dark room. Then, at the door he hears a knock. He turns to face the door.

Ok, now this is what I've added:

The knock is repeated, more firmly this time. "Dad!" his teenaged daughter calls. "I know you're in there! "
Jake sighs. He has a pretty good idea what it is that Belinda wants to talk about...

Okey dokey--somebody write the next paragraph, and trackback to me and Nick.

UPDATE: Graumagus has the next part of the story

Another UPDATE: Loverzan has more

Posted by Susie at 11:44 PM | Comments (0)

Alliance Assignment

A Personal Ad for Glenn Reynolds....

Hmmm......

WMPB* seeks SYT** for companionship, long walks and occasional hobo smacking ho ho snacking. Must have own hammer sense of humor. Durable blender Animal lover a plus. Contact Box 666 999.


*White Male Puppy Blender
**Sexy Young Thing

Posted by Susie at 10:49 AM | Comments (0)

More Whining

I've been wandering aimlessly from blog to blog looking for a little inspiration this morning, but to no avail. It's not that there was nothing interesting to read--on the contrary, I really enjoyed Harvey's new filthy lie about Glenn Reynolds and Trey is always interesting. They both had links to other blogs I wandered off into, and a good time was had by me. But no post inspiration to be found.

I forgot to link to the Bonfire of the Vanities this week. Oh, and the Bartender's interview is up at Jennifer's. I'm sure there's some other interesting stuff I meant to link to, but I forget now.

I have a full work-week ahead of me. Oh joy.

Posted by Susie at 10:08 AM | Comments (5)

November 13, 2003

Blech Bleck Blecky Bleckie

I wasn't going to write this post about spelling, but then when I wrote the title I couldn't figure out how to spell the way I'm feeling right now. Bleck. Only I think it's spelled "blech" which looks to me like "bleach", which is one of the things I have been neglecting due to my bleckyness--yes, the evil laundry.

I'm not depressed (been there, done that, the tee shirt's in the pile of whites) but I'm not--enthused? energetic? funtional? motivated? desperate enough? to tackle chores. I guess that's what makes them a chore--nobody really wants to do them, they are just something that needs done.

I actually don't procrastinate about everything, unless I'm feeling blecky. Like now. When I get like this, I have to sneak up on myself in order to get things done. Like I have been avoiding going to my online class for several days. So when I got online a bit ago, I "accidently" logged into my class. Once I was there I did class stuff. Now, had I gotten online with the intention of going to class, I probably would have gone to Yahoo and played games.

That's kind of how this post came about. I didn't feel very posty, but once the edit page was open, and I tried to figure out how to spell "blech", next thing I know I'm writing a post. Had I intended to post, I would still be looking at the cursor throb. Not that posting is a chore--except when I feel blecky. Like now.

http://etalkinghead.com/arc20031109.htm#BlogID125

Posted by Susie at 10:56 PM | Comments (3)

Grumble

Maybe I'm just in a bad mood, but after glancing at the excerpts for the New Blog Showcase entries, only one blurb made me interested enough to read the entry. It was pretty good, so I'm going to vote for it.

The Daily Ablution: David Lynch to Bring World Peace

Hey, I love satire...

Posted by Susie at 03:46 PM | Comments (1)

Grrr... Part 2

Nothin' again. Bloggers' Block. Watching that little cursor throb can be hypnotic.

Ok, now I've got something--censorship. Specifically, Carnival of the Vanities censorship. Fellow Munuvian Jim of Snooze Button Dreams entered an erotic vignette and the Host of this week's Carnival of the Vanities refused to include it.

This ticks me off. It's a great post of the "women's fiction" genre (I know, I've read a lot of women's fiction in my life) and clearly labled that it's adult-oriented. The hypocritical thing is that the very first Carnival entry is a bunch of sex jokes called "unusual virus warnings" (example:VIAGRA VIRUS: Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.) That's okay, apparently.
The next thing you know, Carnival Hosts will start omitting posts they disagree with politically, or "editing for content", or maybe even picking a different post than the one submitted (I didn't like the typos in your November 3th post, so I've linked to the November 4th one).

Everybody (except Mookie) go read
The Somnolence of Clouds and give Jim some moral support. (And Harvey--make sure your space bar is working properly first!)

Posted by Susie at 09:24 AM | Comments (6)

November 12, 2003

Grrr......

Comment spammers need to roast in hell 'til they are crispy on all sides and then be stomped into little bits by hobnailed boots. Then the bits fed to wombats.

Posted by Susie at 12:51 PM | Comments (7)

If it's Wednesday, this must be my day off

In honor of Bill Cimino and his quest for 50,000 hits, I've got nothin' folks.

Sorry.

Of course, Bill blogs even when he has nothing to say--he's sort of the Seinfeld of blogs. So, just as Seinfled was the show about nothing, and Bloviating Inanities is the blog about nothing, this is the post about nothing.

So some illegal immigrants are suing Wal-mart because they didn't get paid overtime. There are so many things wrong with that on so many levels I don't know where to start. We have a cleaning company. They come in after the theater is closed to sweep and mop and scrape off the top layer of pulverized candy, and they do it every night. Do we know who they employ? No. Do we know what they are paying their employees? Nope. Do we know if their employees are Episcopalians or Vegatarians or Cross-Dressers? Do we care? No, no, no. All we care about is that they clean, and do it well enough that the matinee customers aren't ankle-deep in the spilled popcorn and soda from the late show customers. This is the American Way folks--hire somone else to clean up the mess. Let's say I hire a contractor to re-do my kitchen. Do I ask to see his carpenters' Union Cards? Do I quiz his electricians on how much they get paid for overtime? Or do I just pick the contractor with the best reputation for the lowest price and let him worry about whether the painter has dental care?
"Oh! Oh!" I hear the lefties whining, "but illegal aliens have rights, too!"
Sure. Illegal aliens have tons of rights--in California, as I seem to recall. But are the sharks circling the cleaning company? Nopey! Who has the deep pockets here? Could it be...Wal-mart?
That's what's the matter with our litigious society--too many freakin' lawyers! (Sorry, Tiger--I don't mean you! You obviously work for a living. I'm talking about the parasites whose main source of luxury cars is out-of-court settlements for nuisance suits against whoever has the most disposable income).
Yes, I am an evil nasty bigoted Conservative! I'm outraged that illegal aliens are taking perfectly good jobs away from real unemployed Americans! (What do you mean? Why on earth would a laid-off Systems Analyst prefer to get unemployment benefits when he could be cleaning Wal-mart for $5.15 an hour?)
Did you all know that movie theaters are exempt from paying overtime? Isn't that bizarre?

Posted by Susie at 11:02 AM | Comments (0)

November 11, 2003

UN Motto

I hate those weenies at the UN. Honest to Pete--they put Cuba on their Human Rights Commission! (And that bastion of Compassion, Freedom, and Unqualified Love for All, Iraq--back in the good old days when Sadaam Hussein was in charge, of course--has been on the Commission, too). Maybe it's just to be fair to the violators--you know, make sure somebody is representing the interests of genocidal maniacs so they get a fair shake. But I think it's pretty stupid to let the lunatics run the asylum...which sounds like a great motto:

The UN: We Prefer To Let The Lunatics Run the Asylum, So We Don't Have To

That was fun! Let's try a few more....

The UN--more irrelevent every day
The UN: Where biting the hand that feeds us is an art form.
The UN! It's All About Appearance (Substance Can Go Jump!)
The UN--we've never heard a wacky theory we didn't embrace...

Now you try....

Posted by Susie at 01:19 PM | Comments (7)

Thanks by the Lot

Thanks to Harvey, I'm going to try somethin' new....

IMAO (558 links) - 3022 visits/day V
Anti-Idiotarian Rotweiler (463 links) - 2835 visits/day V
Blackfive - The Paratrooper of Love (154 links) - 763 visits/day V
annika's journal & poetry (79 links) - 249 visits/day V
Ramblings of Silver Blue (121 links) - 206 visits/day V
The Alliance (156 links) - 156 visits/day V
Patriot Paradox (37 links) - 149 visits/day V
Bad Money (140 links) - 146 visits/day V
angelweave (111 links) - 115 visits/day V
Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon (84 links) - 98 visits/day V
Practical Penumbra (176 links) - 87 visits/day V
Pardon My English (47 links) - 84 visits/day V
Being American in T.O. (43 links) - 70 visits/day V
See The Donkey (15 links) - 68 visits/day V
Altered Perceptions (44 links) - 65 visits/day V
physics geek (39 links) - 63 visits/day V
The S-Train Canvass (26 links) - 61 visits/day V
Semi-Intelligent Thoughts (60 links) - 45 visits/day V
Civilization Calls (30 links) - 43 visits/day V
CandyUniverse (41 links) - 35 visits/day V
Grim's Hall (15 links) - 31 visits/day V
Wince and Nod (42 links) - 30 visits/day V
The Psychotic Rant (26 links) - 26 visits/day V
Peripheral Mind (48 links) - 24 visits/day V
Five Wasps (14 links) - 23 visits/day V
Not Quite Tea and Crumpets (31 links) - 22 visits/day V
Hypocrisy and Hypotheses (23 links) - 22 visits/day V
curi's domain (7 links) - 21 visits/day V
Various Orthodoxies (28 links) - 17 visits/day V
Newmanisms (21 links) - 17 visits/day V
Cannon's Canon (16 links) - 11 visits/day V
Hoppings of Roxette Bunny (23 links) - 10 visits/day V
Flying Chair (32 links) - 0 visits/day V
Interested-Participant (63 links) - visits/day V

Link-love for all the Alliance members who voted in the New Blog Showcase...

Posted by Susie at 12:35 PM | Comments (0)

Unremitting Stupidity....

If you have a weak stomach or a low tolerance for stupidity, do not read this post of Kevin's at Wizbang!. Some days I really think I should have called my blog "what is wrong with people???"

Posted by Susie at 11:26 AM | Comments (0)

November 10, 2003

No one expects the Susie Pingslaught....

It's your Monday, but my Wednesday--so Happy Hump Day, Gentle Readers.
Since I can't remember whether I have anything to blog about (since my first cup of coffee hasn't quite made it as far as my brain yet), let's see what the other kids are doing...

Ok, everyone go vist Tom at Tom's Nap Room. Tom's feeling a little lonely since he moved to MT and his audience is still apparently hanging around his bogsplot place waiting for him to post... He's a good writer and he likes Disco. Forgive him for the latter because of the former and drop by there today...

My {real} interview is up at Jennifer's! Yay!

Don's chosen the victims contestants for his Survivor game and posted the first immunity challenge. This should be interesting....

Beloved Benefactor and Keeper of the Templates Pixy Misa has a poll up--help him decide which CPU to buy! Geeks and Geekettes--help him out, please!

Paul's feeling a little better, thank goodness!

Silver Blue has a photo that made me wonder, did it absolutely, positively have to be there overnight?

Harvey posted up a storm while I was stuck in the Technology Free Zone™, including a new grafitti currency and his thoughts on the Liberal Menace to the Ecosystem....

Nobody links to Kang A. Roo (understandably)... So here are some pity links.... ;)

Tiger has come up with a new blogging alliance and I'm all for it! It frosts my (plural body part) when people demonize the "R" word. I'm in, Tig! I'll get your logo up as soon as the flamethrower is recharged!

Bonfire Reminder--get your worst post in to Kevin by 8pm (Eastern) tonight...

Saving the best for last, there's a hilarious new In My World up at Frank's (although I suspect using Frank and hilarious in the same sentence is redundant...)

Posted by Susie at 10:37 AM | Comments (5)

November 09, 2003

Full Moon and Non-Sense

Today's my long day, so of course all kinds of exciting things will happen in the blogosphere while I am stuck in the Technology Free Zone™.

Last night was a typical Saturday night--stupid people buying tickets in plenty of time for the 7pm show, but then wandering off somewhere and not coming back til showtime, thus demanding a refund because they couldn't find nine seats together....Hello! We're not Madison Square Garden here! There is no assigned seating! Use some brain cells folks!!!!
We also had our obligatory mid-rush breakdown. It was a new one this time--while changing the syrup for the Pepsi one of the clerks accidently broke the dispenser attachment off the hose. Much merriment ensued.

I did get to see some of the eclipse last night. As soon as I saw that full moon, I knew we were in for it....

Posted by Susie at 09:04 AM | Comments (3)

November 08, 2003

Thanks again to LeeAnn

Jane Austen
Jane Austen wrote you. You are extremely aware of
the power of a single word.

Which Author's Fiction are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by Susie at 02:59 PM | Comments (4)

Susie's Interview

Well, I just sent my interview answers off to Jennifer. Boy, you folks missed a great opportunity here! So let me help...

Questions not asked in Jennifer's Interview which I will now answer:

Do you prefer stamped or counted cross stitch?
Definately counted, although I prefer 14 count aida.
How often do you eat broccoli?
About once a week
If you had to choose between running with scissors and playing with a sharp stick that has the potential to poke your eye out, which would you pick?
I'm a running with scissors kind of girl. Sharp sticks are just too dangerous.
Paper or plastic?
This is a tough call. On the one hand paper can be recycled. On the other hand, so can plastic. Give me some of each.
Who do you think will win the Democratic Primary?
Who cares?
How often do you floss?
Dental care is a very important issue with me.
If you were stranded on a deserted island with Barbara Streisand, would you kill her or yourself?
Great question! As a Catholic, suicide is the one unforgivable sin. However, rather than commit the sin of murder, I would prefer to attempt to use reasoning and logic to convince her of the stupidity and hypocricy of her political postions. If that didn't work, for the good of humankind I'd bash her with a coconut.
What's your favorite cut of meat?
Although I enjoy pork chops, I'm going to have to go with filet mignon.

There you have it folks! I hope you enjoyed this edition of "Things Not Asked in Jennifer's Interview with Susie." Tune in again tomorrow for "Things No One Has Asked Susie in General".

Posted by Susie at 10:53 AM | Comments (5)

November 07, 2003

Catty remark

Some days I think my cat is a stealth ninja assassin. He sneaks up behind me and then sprawls on the floor directly behind where I am standing so that when I turn around I almost step on him and then have to do one of those wild contortion things with arms flailing to keep my balance so that I don't fall down.

Or maybe he just thinks it's funny...

Posted by Susie at 01:58 AM | Comments (4)

November 06, 2003

Josh Fielek is a Traffic Whore

and well he should be, because the man is a great writer! Check out his latest "Hell" entry, L'il Kim Goes on a Trip. A taste to taunt you with....

Satan raised his right hand and snapped his fingers. A horde of nattily dressed, well-coifed men with soft skin and perfect nails appeared surrounding Kim Jong Il.

“Oh my god!” one shrieked, “That hair is hideous! We must fix that!”

A second looked him up and down. “Sweetie pie, plain gray just isn’t your look. You’re an autumn, you need some color!”

Go read the rest! And, naturally, Drink Alert!

Posted by Susie at 06:44 PM | Comments (1)

I think I'm coming down with something....

Ok-- Jennifer is taking questions for my interview until midnight tonight, so anyone who wants to know why English doesn't have noun genders or how to thread an embroidery needle without a needle-threader needs to email them to jenlars-at-hotmail-dot-com. I may also be willing to answer questions of a more personal nature, if they are tastefully phrased....

Mercy-linkage to Bill, whose blogging sucks so badly he is now accusing other bloggers of even worse suckage (and he is also a bad influence on his readers, as evinced by the fact that I've used the work "suck" twice three times in this post!)

Silver Blue has a headache, and Paul is sick again.... all the good whines are taken....

Posted by Susie at 05:20 PM | Comments (1)

The Lord blogs in mysterious ways....

In case anyone wonders, I not only firmly believe that Israel has a right to exist, I also strongly support her right to defend herself and her people. That's why I was delighted to see that God has a new blog: Yahweh is in the House.
Blogroll me, Lord! I am a Goy Friend of Israel!

Posted by Susie at 04:44 PM | Comments (1)

Stuff

I'm thinking about going back to my regular time, since this Zulu time thing hasn't caught on (except for Ted).

I saw Matchstick Men yesterday. Terrific movie! Everyone go rent it when it comes out on video (unless you have a second run theater in your town, in which case go see it there).

The New Blog Showcase doesn't have too many entries yet, but the early bird gets the worm, so I am voting for CD over at Semi-Intelligent Thoughts. He has a great post on political correctnes called No Offense:

However, there is a double standard involved. Political correctness is supposed to keep people from being offended, but what if this offends people? Why is nobody complaining that the students in this article may feel alienated because they can't express their beliefs? They're being stigmatized, which is supposedly wrong. The only way to keep people from being offended is to outlaw all expression of opinion.

Go read the rest, it's good stuff.

In the non-political category I have to go with the ever-amusing Ross at Rocket Penguin and Who Da Pope? DRINK ALERT!!!!!

On a personal note, my coffee order came. Yay!!!!! Costa Rican Peaberry! Yay!

I may have more stuff to ramble about later--right now I have to go whip the Alliance into a voting frenzy....

Hey, Axis! get off your lazy duffs and vote, mmmkay?

Posted by Susie at 03:38 PM | Comments (7)

November 05, 2003

Time to laugh and point...

You can always tell the barking moonbats--the rules of grammar, spelling and punctuation have no meaning to them. Take this comment by "sal" that was recently made to an old post of mine:

No Miss f.e.t.e i think its is you who has to get her head outa her huge crack, cuz that heads been there obviously for quiet some time. Due to the fact that we had to show the world by spending millions and killing millions that our actions are justified and not to mention the millions of barrells of cheap oil that we are going to get, ever heard of someone investing somewhere and knowingly not getting a dime back, i doubt we'd ever become a super power by spending billions and not getting anythign back DUH!!i think that would be the dummmest theory alive, or let me broaden my view "government", yes ladies and gentlemen, we are living in a society where even when u invest a dime u expect to get hundreds back, ever heard of that ??, not to mention all they could have done was assasinate that {profanity deleted} they call saddam through a sniper bullet rather than waste billions (while we are in a recession) and not to mention thousands of lives, just to show what a freakin heroic country we are, we are stepping on the very ground we call the cradle of civalization whos roots are so simple and fragile regardless of whatever; 80 percent of the worlds populus cant be wrong when they say "DONT GO TO WAR!!"God bless this country

Goodness, where do I begin?
No Miss f.e.t.e i think its is you who has to get her head outa her huge crack, cuz that heads been there obviously for quiet some time.

Rendered in proper English, this sentence should be: No, Miss F.E.T.E., I think it's you who has to get her head out of her huge crack, because that head's [obviously] been there for quite some time.

Note that commas are used to set off the appositive, the personal pronoun is capitalized, the apostrophe is required to turn "its" from the possessive to "it's" the contraction of "it is", "outa" and "cuz" are not proper contractions, "heads" needs an apostrophe to become the contraction for "that head has" rather than the plural of "head" and, although I am sure it is relatively "quiet" in one's "huge crack", I suspect that "quite" was the intended modifier for "some time". The adverb "obviously" also needed to be shifted to its correct place in front of the words it is modifying.

The rest of the drivel is typical leftist blah-blah from an individual who apparently flunked remedial math (in that "millions," "billions" and "thousands" seem to be used interchangeably in its screed) as well as spending too much time in sink-holes of absurdity such as Indy-Media (where I understand such tin-foil-hat-brigade ravings are common). The latter activity seems to have resulted in the implosion of sal's last few remaining brain cells somewhere between i doubt we'd ever become a super power by spending billions and not getting anythign back DUH!!i and 80 percent of the worlds populus cant be wrong when they say "DONT GO TO WAR!!"God bless this country.

sal, listen up, because this is important--Preview is your friend...

Posted by Susie at 05:02 PM | Comments (5)

Vote for Wizbang!

This week's Carnival of the Vanities is at Wizbang! and Kevin did a great job, especially considering he just hosted the Bonfire of the Vanities the day before. No merry mix-ups, though.....darn it!

Posted by Susie at 03:33 PM | Comments (0)

November 04, 2003

Pulp Fiction

Tuning Spork has dusted off the Hard Boiled Detective Genre with Part 1 of "The Karbon Kopy Killer"--here's a taste:

She wore a bonnet with a veil that half-obscured her face, but I could still see a face beneath the veil that begged for sublime closure.
Dressed in neutral greys she slowly approached my desk on a pair o' gams that would have stretched onto forever were they not stopped by the floor.
Look out, Mickey Spillane!!!

And speaking of good writing, J over at Quibbles and Bits has a great two part suspense story...

From Part One:

It came in darkness, with the deepest of the night. It curled its coal dark tail around the head of its chosen, resting its dark body against the swelling torso before it drew its nourishment. It left no mark; it left no signs of its fury, no indication of its malice. It left sated, cradling in its gullet a little life that once was.

And here's the conclusion.

Posted by Susie at 03:40 PM | Comments (2)

Thought for the Day

Frank is brilliant as usual. I loved this:

Does anyone care about the Democrat's primary anymore? Just end the farce and pick some doofus already. It was funny watching the Democrats implode for a while, but now it’s just getting sad.
Posted by Susie at 03:03 PM | Comments (0)

Burnin' Love

Kevin has the Bonfire roaring with the blogosphere's worst, and the theme this week is s...e...x.... Using his computer wizardly and high-tech skills, he even managed to recover the photo that was missing from this post. Thanks, Kevin!!!

Posted by Susie at 02:42 PM | Comments (1)

November 03, 2003

Meet Sheri

Thanks to Daniel, I found a wonderful new blog for my edification and amusement, Two Nervous Dogs. Sheri, I think you should enter this post in the New Blog Showcase... Or maybe this one...

Posted by Susie at 03:32 PM | Comments (7)

I hear stupid people

Poor Harvey had the Customer From Hell yesterday....

The worst part about being in the service industries is you can't tell the customers what idiots they are to their faces--which is the nice thing about having a blog: you can vent.

Stupid people call us all day long.

Susie (answering the phone): Thank you for calling the Dollar Movies
Customer: Yeah, is this the Dollar Movies?
Reply Susie wrestled back but really really wanted to say: No, this is One Hour Martinizing--would you like to hear about our drycleaning specials?

Customer I listened to your recording and it says the only showtime for American Wedding is 9:30. Are you showing it any other times?
Reply Susie wrestled back but really really wanted to say: Yes, we do have other showtimes, but they're secret, so I can't tell you.

Anyway, this is to make Harvey feel better:

On Friday I went over to our bank to get the change order for the weekend. While I was waiting in line, I was witness to a little divine retribution. The teller at the drive-through was dealing patiently with an increasingly abusive man who could not understand why his expired driver's license was not a valid id for check-cashing purposes. The irate man finally drove off, and the next car up to the window held an off-duty police office...who had heard the entire confrontation and radioed in a report of a motorist driving on an expired license....

Sometimes stupid customers do get their just rewards....

Posted by Susie at 06:17 AM | Comments (7)

November 02, 2003

An Ode to Glenn Reynolds

'Tis seldom that mere mortal man,
enrobed in blurple ermine
does drink as often as he can
a cup of blended vermin.

Nay! rather puppies doth he blend
to sate his evil cravings
and hobos bring to bloody end
with epithets and ravings.

Lo, he comes, the Instaman
with linkage foul, yet treasured--
to robot dance when e'er he can...
true evilness, unmeasured.

Posted by Susie at 03:38 PM | Comments (9)

Lame post #43

What does it say about a person's blogging that she has a hard time deciding among at least five posts as to which gets tossed on the Bonfire, but not even one is close to Carnival-entry quality?

That's a rhetorical question, by the way--I really don't need to hear any profound analyses of my poor writing this week. (This week? asks the inner critic. Shush up! I respond).

I'm having a bad coffee day. As you may have deduced from my email address, I am an afficinado of Gevalia Kaffee. I belong to their mail-order club. Most, or perhaps even all, store-bought coffee tastes like dirt in comparison. Other "gourmet" coffees, while perhaps passable in the taste arena, fail in the low-acid area. And for some reason this time I ran out of coffee on the same day my order shipped, which is bad. This means that it will be at least a week before my coffee arrives. It also means that I had to go to the store and buy a can of Folgers.

I don't know how to make Folgers. Proportionately speaking, the ratio of ground beans to water is higher than Gevalia (since I'm not one of those folks who can call a cup of hot amber water "coffee") but there's a trial-and-error factor here and today I erred too high on the beans side, ending up with an espresso-like liquid that is not only bitter but still tastes like dirt. And not nice, loamy, good-for-planting-vegetables dirt. No, this is that dry, powdery, stale dirt-taste.

A day without coffee is like a day with the worst head cold in the history of humankind, but a day with bad coffee sucks.

Anyway, if anybody has a post I can borrow to submit to the Carnival, please let me know by tomorrow night. Thanks!

Posted by Susie at 02:52 PM | Comments (0)

November 01, 2003

Unbelievable!

Thanks to Daniel I wandered over to the DNC blog, and this is some of what I read in the comments there (bold emphasis mine):

Wolfowitz also said, in a Q&A after a speech at Georgetown Univ. this week, in response to an earnest and critical comment by a female student, "Oh, I see, and I guess then you are one of those people who would be happy to have Hussein remain in power".(to paraphrase). This mantra/tag/talking point is happening all to often. We must train ourselves to respond with something like: That is an utterly moronic, deceptive mistatement of anything that I have said. But of course, whoever the moderator is when someone from the GOP talking troops says such a moronic things, the questioner is cut off from any further comment or rebuttal. Time to start howling, folks. atlantic marg :: Oct 31, 2003 22:28 :: Link
Lance: I am with you - Having Saddam back, and continuing with Inspections still going on, and the UN in charge - would not be a bad thing at all. It is up to the World Courts (UN) to decide what should be done about a despot, not GWB. If you want to read a good article along this line - to to today's copy of Information Clearing House. (www.Informationclearinghouse.info/article 2319.htm) called "The President's Real Goal in Iraq." It had nothing to do with Saddam, nor freeing the Iraqi people.

Paul Wolfowitz neglects to say "WHICH" Iraqi would be scared if GWB were gone. Could it be the ones who have benefited from this occupation, either financially or power-wise?
Pam Bergren :: Nov 1, 2003 09:05 :: Link


What's scary is, these folks think they are agreeing with each other!!!

Posted by Susie at 07:07 PM | Comments (4)

Some things are better left unsaid, apparently...

I was over at Bill's, leaving a witty remark in the comments to this post, when my power went out. It was off just long enough to make the computer reboot and turn all the digital clocks flashing. So of course my comment is gone now, since I hadn't hit "post" yet, and I wonder if it would be tempting fate to try and reconstruct it, especially since my brain is all fuzzy due to sub-standard caffiene intake. Which I think had something to do with the comment--it's hard to remember since it was all of several minutes ago.
I suspect I am coming down with a cold or other bug, since ordinarily by my second cup of the elixir of life my eyes have become unglued and I can actually see the keys as I type. I am also feeling a more-than-usual-reluctance to go to work today. I want to crawl back under the covers and sleep for a few more days....

Cool--Bonfire entry! Now if I could just write something good I would have a Carnival entry.

Hmm...wonder if it's cheating to submit the same post to both....

Posted by Susie at 04:51 PM | Comments (1)

Halloween Revisited

Well, for those of you anxiously awaiting word on whether I took Ted's advice and went as a Q-Tip, the answer is, no, Harvey, I didn't. I found a white robe, made a circlelet out of Reynold's Wrap, and went as an angel. I learned a couple things from this experience--even angels are not immune to projector grease, and aluminium foil makes your head sweat...

There are a couple of good Halloween stories you may have missed. Tuning Spork lets us into a few secrets from his past and Paul of Sanity's Edge relates his experience in an oubliette.

Of course, the penultimate Halloween story is here, but you need to start here and work your way to the right, making sure to read the comments as you go...

Posted by Susie at 04:10 PM | Comments (3)