February 29, 2004

Susie answers--more dark mysteries revealed....

Like an eight year old full of inquiry, Harvey peppered me with questions:

How, exactly, do you splice movies together? Scotch tape? Elmer's glue? Fancy little plastic sleeves? Elfin magic?


When you carry the film upstairs, do you have to make several trips to get all the reels up, or do you just go "HRRMMMPHHH!" and tote all six at once?
Do they still uses steel cans, or have they switched to plastic?

It's funny how we assume that everyone has grown up with the same grounding that we have. I used to watch my dad splice together the 8mm home movies when they broke, so learning to splice 35mm film was a snap for me, since it's the exact same process, only bigger. And what we use is very similar to scotch tape, only stronger--more like heavy duty package sealing tape in little one inch wide rolls. To make up for the lack of elfin magic, there's a really cool toy called, oddly enough, the splicer. We use a guillotine splicer, which looks like this:


The two pieces of film that need to be joined are lined up on the bed, a piece of tape unrolled across them, then the handle closes the device and the razor blade cuts the tape. There are also little nubs that poke sprocket holes through the tape at the same time. The splicer is opened, the film turned over, and the process repeated on the other side. We usually use yellow tape--that way we can see where the splice between reels is for when the film is torn down. That little handle closest to you in the picture is a cutter, in case the edges of the film need trimming to make sure they match before they are spliced together, so there are two really sharp edges to be careful of. (And, no--nobody can tell the tape is yellow--you can see the color with the human eye, but going by on the screen one frame is just too quick to notice).

Different movie studios use different cans to transport film, and I think they are pretty heavy, but Ass. Man. carries them like he has a lunch box in each hand. Mostly they are metal, either orange or silver, and pretty dingged up from years of use, but one studio uses a cardboard box with a handle instead of metal cans to send their films.
If I can find my digital camera, I'll try and take a really bad, grainy picture of the ones we have sitting around....

Posted by Susie at 09:18 AM | Comments (6)

February 28, 2004

If I had world enough and time...

Harvey, pervert of renown extraordinare, now has even more questions about the arcane world of film projection. Unfortunately, I have to leave for work in a few minutes.

So, perhaps a post topic for another day, unless the rest of you are too bored....

Posted by Susie at 02:09 PM | Comments (1)

February 27, 2004

The dark mysteries of the projection booth revealed...

Fellow blogger and renowned pervert Harvey commented

Meanwhile, I would like to hear more about this "make up and tear down movies" activity. I'm not familiar with it. I'm one of those industry outsiders who envisions movies just magically appearing on the screen without any involvement from actual people

I thought I had explained this process before, but couldn't find anything in the "Theatrical Events" archives, so here goes:

While there is the technological capability to transmit digital movies to theaters via satellite, Hollywood has not yet embraced the new technology. So the movies you see at your local cineplex are delivered each week in "cans" that hold two to five twelve (or maybe 14) inch reels of 35mm film. The number of cans and reels depends on the length of the film, but a two hour movie is usually about 6 reels. In olden times, theaters used two projectors, and alternated between them to show a movie, the first projector showing reel one, then the next reel two (while the projectionist threaded reel three and rewound reel one) and so on. Nowadays, the platter system is used. Here's a picture of one I grabbed from Howstuffworks:


Because the movie is all in one big reel, only one projector in needed, and because it feeds out of the platter from the center (through the "brain"), and back onto the next platter in order, no rewinding is need. But, since we get the movies shipped to us in two to four cans of two to five reels each, we have to "make up", or put those reels together so they make one big reel. For that, we use a make up table:


The individual reels are put on the table and it threads them onto the platter. We have to splice the ends of the reels together, and if we don't match up the ends exactly, the picture will jump out of frame from one reel to the next, and you'll see a line across the screen until somebody runs upstairs to fiddle with the frame button.

Once a movie has finished its run, we "tear down" the movie using the reverse process from making it up, and the individual reels go back into their cans to be picked up and returned to the movie distributor. This is a process we have to go through on pretty much a weekly basis. Last night for example, Ass. Man. made up two movies that start today, and tore down one that's ended its run.

Any questions?

Posted by Susie at 12:54 PM | Comments (6)

Communication 101

Am I the only one who thinks written language has taken a step backward in the computer age? Yes, I'm talking about "icons". Back before humans had alphabets we had pictographs, and it seems we are going back to that. Only the icons are not self-explanatory--usually you need the actual words to explain what the icon means, that the circle with the x in it means "stop" (for IE anyway--Netscape uses the traffic signal for "stop": everybody makes up their own icons!) or the cupcake with the strange decorations means "search" (I guess it's supposed to be a picture of earth with a magnifying glass on it, but it sure looks like an overhead view of a cupcake decorated to look like a tank...). To add to the confusion, not only do different companies use different icons to mean the same thing, they also use the same icon to mean different things! For example, in MT a piece of paper with a pencil means "edit entries," while in CPanel it means "error pages." It makes you wonder how the pictographs ever got interpreted by our ancestors...

"Look, Bob killed a moose!"
"Nah, that's an antelope!"
"Are you sure--those horns look awful big."
"Bob doesn't draw very well..."

Posted by Susie at 08:13 AM | Comments (7)

February 26, 2004

I hate moral dilemmas....

Dedicated readers know that Wednesday and Thursday are my "weekend." Unfortunately I'm having to work this weekend. Ass. Man. had to take his mom to Indy for surgery, and so I am working his shifts. Originally it was only supposed to be his Wednesday, for which he traded me Monday. But when I got to work on Tuesday, there was a lovely note from him that he "probably" wouldn't be in on Thursday.

This is bad. Thursday is when we make-up and tear-down movies. We have one going out and two new ones coming in. I was shown the procedure once--over a year ago. We also have 2 special showings tonight, for a company that is doing a customer appreciation night; they have almost 500 total people coming, and the film they have chosen has to be moved into the bigger theater, and the one already there switched to the smaller one. For two months now I have been planning to go in for a few hours tonight to make sure the showing goes smoothly, but now it appears that instead of two managers to handle problems there will be only one, and, because when I did the scheduling I thought Ass. Man. would be there, we are going to be short-handed as well. (Plus I'll have to stay the whole 9 hours).

Part of me really wants to fire him if he doesn't show up tonight. Come on, now--leaving me a note???? That I wouldn't get until he was already out of town???? For a trip that had been planned weeks in advance??? For the one night of the work week that he really is indispensable??? Which coincides with the largest special event we have ever hosted??? How freakin' irresponsible is that?????

The more compassionate side of me is going, "Aww, he's just a kid, and his mom's having surgery--he's worried and distracted." The professional side of me is screaming "He's a freakin' manager!!!! He should behave like one!!!!"

Even if he rolls in on time for his shift, we are going to have a talk. (A note!??!!??). If he doesn't make it in at all....well, he wouldn't be the first person I've fired, and not even the first Assistant Manager, either...
I don't like doing it, but I will if I have to. Damn it.

UPDATE: Ass. Man. made it in to work on time. He left the note because it occurred to him there was a possibility his mom wouldn't be released on time. Unfortunately, he wrote he "probably" wouldn't be in, instead of saying it was a possibility, based on the outcome of the surgery. Sometimes it's very difficult to believe that English is his first language. He's a math whiz, though. I'll bet if he'd written it in fractions and cosines, it would've made sense...

Posted by Susie at 11:04 AM | Comments (6)

February 25, 2004

And the Funniest is...

The results are in!

41% (335 votes)
23% (186 votes)
20% (163 votes)
8% (67 votes)
7% (61 votes)
1% (12 votes)

To see who the winner was, go here.

Posted by Susie at 07:57 AM | Comments (2)

February 24, 2004

Alliance Assignment: Other Uses for Terrorists

Despite being an eeeeviiiilll Republican, I am all for recycling. So why waste a perfectly good terrorist when there are so many useful ways they could contribute to society?

Cosmetics tester--instead of using bunnies to find out if the latest shampoo makes your hair fall out, or a new mascara formula causes blindness, let's test new products on terrorists! Most of them have a lot of hair anyway, and we'd feel safer knowing that the breakthrough new dipilatory had successfully removed the leg hair of Al Queda operatives with minimal scarring and only moderate (after much adjusting of the formula) discomfort.

Food taster--wondering if that potato salad you left out in the sun all afternoon is still edible? Worried that those burgers are just a little too pink? Unsure if the contents of that bowl in the back of the fridge is cottage cheese or spaghetti? Use your own personal terrorist to test it! Comes with a year's supply of syrup of ipacac and kaopectate...

Decoy pizza delivery driver--reduce robberies of real pizza delivery drivers by over 50%!

Be creative, folks! Leave your ideas in the comments....

Posted by Susie at 10:09 AM | Comments (9)

Pearls among the prairie oysters

Many people have commented over at Frank's that they didn't find the top ten lists funny. I think they were suffering from over-expectations. Every one of the lists had at least one item that made me laugh out loud.

Top Ten six Ways the Loony Moonbat Left Will Make Themselves Look Even MORE Hopelessly Ridiculous in 2004 (slightly edited by Susie)

6. Liberals come out with a new whistle that is just a recording of a liberal
whining. It somehow attracts ducks, platypi, and unfortunate young
businessmen by the name of Henry.

5. During a press conference Kerry will rip off his face revealing that he is really Skeletor.

4. Attempt to reanimate Jimmy Carter.

3. After Howard Dean lost the Wisconsin Democratic Primary and dropped out of the race, a small but vocal group of his followers refused to give up hope. Calling themselves the “YEARRRGGGGH! Party”, and known popularly as the “Scream-ites”, this gaggle of gruel-brained nugget-heads attempted to create a “Draft Dean” movement. Sadly – well, sadly for THEM, anyway – at the start of their first meeting, when they all simultaneously inhaled in preparation for their trademark insane howl, the resulting sudden decrease in air pressure caused the building to implode, killing all inside.

2. Combine an Atkins diet with a vegan diet and then just starve to death.

1. Senator Hillary Clinton will throw a stomping fit on the floor of the Senate. Quote: “No you can’t! No you can’t! No you can’t! I’LL HOLD MY BREATH!” - Emergency personnel, having learned their lesson the first time, immediately go on strike.

Be honest. You laughed at some of those, didn't you?

Posted by Susie at 08:35 AM | Comments (5)

February 23, 2004

It's not ice cream on Tuesdays but...

Bill over at Walloworld points out that images have power. Whether it's good or bad really depends on what you fear the most...

Posted by Susie at 08:40 PM | Comments (0)

The time to vote is now...

The contest entries are up at Frank's! Vote! Vote, I say! I worked all weekend on that post, and my typing fingers are little nubs..

Posted by Susie at 01:05 PM | Comments (2)

Life's funny sometimes...

Life is what happens when you had planned something else. I hurt my back the other day (I coughed and strained a muscle; my uncle-by-marriage once said that his family was known for strong backs and weak minds, and our family was known for strong minds and weak backs...my dad, siblings and I have thrown out our backs sneezing, coughing, sitting too long, standing too long, reaching too far, and of course lifting too much weight incorrectly), and because I had to go into work early yesterday to let painters into the theater, by 7 I could barely get up the stairs to thread. Ass. Man. agreed to come in to relieve me, thank goodness, so it was only 8pm instead of midnight when my car died a quarter of the way home.
Unlike my 17 year old employees, I do not have a cell phone. So I had to hobble half a mile to find a phone to call a tow truck. Then hobble half a mile back because I hadn't left the keys with the car (otherwise I could have paid by credit card over the phone and called my brother or niece to pick me up from the church that was fortuitously having a potluck supper). The tow truck driver was very nice and dropped me off at my front door before taking my car to my mechanic's, where by a strange coincidence I had a 9 am appointment to have my brakes worked on. My mechanic suspects it's the alternator. Considering that it's original (read "old enough to get a driver's liscense in most states") he's probably right.
Luckily I got a decent tax refund, so I should be able to afford repairs as long as they don't exceed twice the Blue Book value...

Posted by Susie at 08:40 AM | Comments (3)

February 22, 2004

I'll never get used to calling it "keyboarding"

It's my long day at work today, I have a couple of big homework projects due this week (why do teachers do that? assign stuff all due at the same time?), and I'm working on the Contest post for Frank, so I am a busy little bee. To applease the blogging gods, here are a few interesting places for you to visit until I have more typing time...

Harvey explains what he likes about his husbandly duties and poking his wfe.

Tiger waxes lyrical about various crap.

Bill discusses why he wants to be hot and naked.

Silver Blue examines irony. Or maybe it was slapstick....

Posted by Susie at 09:30 AM | Comments (1)

February 21, 2004

Slow boat to the promised land

Well, with only a few minor glitches Munuvia seem to have arrived safely at its new server--just in time for me to head off to work. But at least you can now leave all those comments you've had bottled up all this time...
..or not...

Posted by Susie at 03:55 PM | Comments (1)

February 20, 2004

You Can't Get Here From There

Due to distortions in the space/time/blog continium, you have entered the Twiblog Zone....to find current postings, click here...

Posted by Susie at 02:09 PM | Comments (0)

Sheesh, learn to spell!

Due to distortions in the space/time/blog continium, you have entered the Twiblog Zone....to find current postings, click here...

Bad spammer, bad! can't even spell--what kind of comment is "Thee best bloggg"?

UPDATE: Guess English isn't a first language here...

Final results obtained from whois.ripe.net.
% This is the RIPE Whois server.
% The objects are in RPSL format.
% Rights restricted by copyright.
% See http://www.ripe.net/ripencc/pub-services/db/copyright.html

inetnum: -
netname: RU-ELTEL-20020123
descr: ELTEL.NET
country: RU
admin-c: DS544-RIPE
tech-c: OS1157-RIPE
tech-c: AG12797-RIPE
mnt-lower: ELTEL-RIPE-MNT
mnt-routes: ELTEL-RIPE-MNT
changed: hostmaster@ripe.net 20020123
source: RIPE

descr: ELTEL.net
origin: AS20597
changed: registry@eltel.net 20021001
source: RIPE

person: Dmitry Samarin
address: 10N, 65-67,
address: Chaykovskogo st.
address: 191123 Saint-Petersburg
address: Russia
phone: +7 812 4381100
fax-no: +7 812 4381101
e-mail: sam@eltel.net
nic-hdl: DS544-RIPE
changed: registry@eltel.net 20021110
source: RIPE

person: Alexandr Goussev
address: 10N, 65-67,
address: Chaykovskogo st.
address: 191194 Saint-Petersburg
address: Russia
phone: +7 812 4381102
fax-no: +7 812 4381101
e-mail: alex@eltel.net
nic-hdl: AG12797-RIPE
changed: sam@eltel.net 20021110
source: RIPE

person: Olga Sherstneva
address: 10N, 65-67,
address: Chaykovskogo st.
address: 191123 Saint-Petersburg
address: Russia
phone: +7 812 4381100
fax-no: +7 812 4381101
e-mail: olga@eltel.net
nic-hdl: OS1157-RIPE
changed: registry@eltel.net 20021110
source: RIPE

Results brought to you by the GeekTools Whois Proxy
Server results may be copyrighted and are used with permission.
Proxy © 1999-2004 CenterGate Research Group LLC

Posted by Susie at 01:43 PM | Comments (6)

Frank's Funny Contest

I confess--I cheated. Yep, I read the entries for Frank's Super Lucky Happy Fun Permalink Contest Number One II.

Some of them are pretty funny, Frank! It may be closer than you expect....

Posted by Susie at 01:31 PM | Comments (2)

February 19, 2004

Movie reviews and Dollar Stores

For once I seem to have had a fulfilling day off--not only did I get about half of my homework done, but I went shopping for a baby shower gift for my head cashier, and then rented three movies that never made it to my theater that I've been wanting to see.

The best of the three was Identity. First off, I adore John Cusak, so I was prepared to enjoy it anyway. But it was very well done, creepy and suspenseful without being too gory. The next best was Underworld. I like vampire movies anyway, so again I was prepared to enjoy it, but it was really more of an action movie, so it was very fast-paced (maybe a little too fast paced to allow for adequate character development) and had some terrific wire work. Kate Beckinsale did a great job, and really out-Trinity-ed Carrie-Anne Moss at shooting stuff up. Again, not too gory. The third movie had the eye candy: Colin Farrell in S.W.A.T. Not bad for a remake of an old TV show--especially if you don't remember the show until you watch the featurette. A fun, mindless shoot-em-up with cute guys to ogle.

It was the prospect of baby-shower shopping for my head cashier that brought up my musings on the difference between the old five and dimes and "Dollar" stores. It's not the price, because the prices are probably proportionate. We used to have a chain called Belmont. A Belmont store was great. You could go in and come out with a can opener, 5 yards of flannel, a lamp shade, a dowel rod, Monopoly, shampoo, crayons, half a pound of Brach's candy, a Birthday card, a new bra and one plate to match your Corelle. Only instead of having to traipse through a football-stadium-sized store like Walmart, it was all compacted into six aisles. We used to say that Belmont had everything--only one of everything, but everything.

The "Dollar" store is different. One day you'll go in looking for light bulbs, and they have everything but. So another day you'll go there to get dish towels, because they had tons of them the last time you were there, and they don't have them anymore, but they have an aisle full of light bulbs. Dollar stores specialize in carrying things that you don't need at that particular moment. When I was in there yesterday looking for onesies that I had seen on previous occasions, they, of course, didn't have any. Had I needed a small stuffed bunny or bear, however, I would have been in luck. There was a rack of them on every end cap.

I suspect this is because Dollar stores buy unwanted merchandise in bulk, and because it's unwanted it's not available again once its gone. So a Dollar store is really pretty useless if you are shopping for a particular item. However, if you are one of those people who shops merely to get a deal, you probably love Dollar stores--because, some day, you just might need ceramic soap dishes 2 for a dollar...

I miss Belmont....

Posted by Susie at 11:31 AM | Comments (1)

February 18, 2004

Jumping on the Bed(wagon)

I don't usually bleg for money (usually, I said "usually") but fellow blogger Jamie McDonald over at Gleeful Extremist is getting married this coming Saturday, and, horrors! is going to have to start married life sleeping on a futon next to a single bed!

Did I mention he's a good Catholic boy, so he and his future bride haven't, um, gotten to "know" each other yet? (nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more...)? And what better way to get to really know someone than by sleeping in the same bed (snoring, drooling, kicking...)? Think of all the knowledge they'll lose if they can't find out who hogs the covers?

Just click here to drop a few bucks in his PayPal account. You'll sleep better knowing you've helped a fellow blogger get laid a good night's sleep.

Posted by Susie at 04:59 PM | Comments (4)

Sing a Song of Sick Gents

In the never-ending quest to avoid doing my homework, I'm going to tackle the latest Alliance assignment.

In an attempt to corrupt our nation's young and innocent, Evil Glenn has re-written all of the classic Nursery Rhymes of our childhood. Hiding behind the comforting figure of Uncle Goose, his volume of children's tales includes such travesties as the following:

Jack Sprat could eat no fat,
His wife could eat no lean,
And so betwixt the two of them
They licked the blender clean.

Peke porridge hot,
Peke porridge cold,
Peke porridge in a pot,
Nine days old.

Evil Glenn, Evil Glenn, where have you been?
I've been to London to visit the Queen.
Evil Glenn, Evil Glenn, what did you there?
I left all my penguin porn under her chair.

Hobo be nimble,
Hobo be quick,
Hobo get whacked
with a candlestick.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many puppies, she didn't know what to do.
She gave them some broth,
Without any bread,
Blended them soundly, and ate in bed.

You don't want to see the illustrations....

Posted by Susie at 09:57 AM | Comments (3)

February 17, 2004

Salvation (not)

Well, I had a lovely stream-of-consciousness post going on the difference between the old five-and-dimes and today's current "dollar" stores, but for some reason we had a power outage or surge or something--anyway, a blip in the electricity just long enough to make the computer reboot. Yep, lost the post. Sigh.

More of my brilliance lost to posterity...

Auto-save: an idea thats time has come....

Posted by Susie at 07:43 AM | Comments (5)

February 16, 2004

I only hedged a little, honest....

Posted by Susie at 09:53 AM | Comments (5)

Insert witty title here

The Bestofme Symphony is up at Yap Away Jay. Enjoy!

Posted by Susie at 09:26 AM | Comments (0)

February 15, 2004


Die comment spammer, die!
and your brother!

Today's my 12 hour, and the owner's going to dropping by. Oh joy.

Blog at you tomorrow if I live....

Oh, and Harvey is an evil, evil man.... ;)

Posted by Susie at 11:26 AM | Comments (3)

February 14, 2004

Flatter me more! more!

Your Brain Usage Profile

Auditory : 43%
Visual : 56%
Left : 47%
Right : 52%

Susie, you exhibit an even balance between left- and right- hemisphere dominance and a slight preference for visual over auditory processing. With a score this balanced, it is likely that you would have slightly different results each time you complete this self-assessment quiz.

You are a well-rounded person, distinctly individualistic and artistic, an active and multidimensional learner. At the same time, you are logical and disciplined, can operate well within an organization, and are sensitive towards others without losing objectivity. You are organized and goal-directed. Although a "thinking" individual, you "take in" entire situations readily and can act on intuition.

You sometimes tend to vacillate in your learning styles. Learning might take you longer than someone of equal intellect, but you will tend to be more thorough and retain the material longer than those other individuals. You will alternate between logic and impulse. This vacillation will not normally be intentional or deliberate, so you may experience anxiety in situations where you are not certain which aspect of yourself will be called on.

With a slight preference for visual processing, you tend to be encompassing in your perceptions, process along multidimensional paths and be active in your attacking of situations or learning.

Overall, you should feel content with your life and yourself. You are, perhaps, a little too critical of yourself -- and of others -- while maintaining an "openness" which tempers that tendency. Indecisiveness is a problem and your creativity may not be in keeping with your potential. Being a pragmatist, you downplay this aspect of yourself and focus on the more immediate, obvious and the more functional

Found here via Ted

Posted by Susie at 01:20 PM | Comments (2)

Better late than really late...

My cat coughed up a hairball, which prevented me from finishing my latest Alliance assignment, Evil Glenn's movie remakes. However, here is a partial list of some of the classic movies he plans to "update":

The Maltese Puppy
Some Like it Blended
12 Angry Hobos
Raiders of the Lost Disco
To Kill a Chihuahua
Puppy Soup
Citizen Kanine

The horror! I can't go on....

Posted by Susie at 12:16 PM | Comments (0)

To all my blog friends...


Happy Valentine's Day!

Posted by Susie at 12:31 AM | Comments (6)

February 13, 2004


comment spammer:

Posted by Susie at 02:34 PM | Comments (1)

Lucky Day Links

Looks like I stirred up a little controversy with my mini-rant last night. (Yay me!) I guess we'll need to add it to the list of important issues people don't agree on (PC vs. Mac, IE vs. Mozilla, gay marriage, boxers vs. briefs).

My lovely weekend is over, and with the exception of finishing my homework I accomplished nothing. In fact, I only left the house once, and that was to make an ice cream run. Ordinarily I'm a sherbet girl, but for some reason I simply had to have ice cream yesterday. Probably a calcium deficiency--yeah, that's it. I snagged a pint of Edy's Dreamery "Coney Island Waffle Cone." Yum!

Speaking of ice cream, there's a poll over at Bill's and my honor is at stake! (I don't know why, but it's the thought that counts, right?)

Harvey has way too much time on his hands....

Paul is interested in childhood memories--but it has to be from when you were younger than three...

Pixy Misa has a wonderful Valentine for all the female Munuvians...

From Silver Blue, for our Aussie friends...

The Bartender wandered off and left his place unattended, so there's a party in the comments (and don't ask what's going on the the Champagne Room!)

And no Friday the 13th post would be complete without LeeAnn's thoughts on superstition (as always when reading one of LeeAnn's posts, place all beverages out of inadvertent reach...)

Posted by Susie at 12:55 PM | Comments (7)

Fun for the Select Few

The Alliance asks the question "What will the dead terrorists get instead of Paradise and 72 virgins?"

The answer may surprise you:

View image

Posted by Susie at 12:40 PM | Comments (1)

February 12, 2004

Mini rant

People! Let me firmly state that I am against links that open in a new browser window. Let me tell you why. If I want to keep your site available I open the link in a new tab. If I just click on the link, that means I want to leave, not find out later that I have fourteen open windows!

Thank you for your attention.

Posted by Susie at 08:11 PM | Comments (11)

Hear Ye, Hear Ye

Over at King of the Blogs, Nick is accepting applications for the next tournament. Details are here.

Posted by Susie at 07:16 AM | Comments (0)

50 25 more things about Susie

i. My favorite color is blue
ii. I have brown eyes and dark brown hair
iii. I'm a "winter"
iv. I blog in my nightgown
v. I took two semeters of Latin in college
vi. My favorite white cheese is Muenster
vii. My favorite beer is Michelob Amber Bock
viii. I don't like cooked spinach
ix. I drink 3 mugs of coffee a day
x. That's really about 7 cups

xi. I've never been to King's Island, Six Flags or Cedar Point
xii. I think Robert B. Parker is a genius
xiii. I prefer the Greek gods to the Roman ones
xiv. I can't wait 'til Shrek 2 comes out
xv. My favorite shampoo is Herbal Essense
xvi. I prefer Kleenex to Puffs
xvii. I know all the words to "I'm just a little black rain cloud" from Winnie the Pooh
xviii. I sing it when I'm driving
xix. I love the Pre-Raphaelite painters
xx. I am current-top-40-music illiterate
xxi. My right knee hurts when it rains
xxii. My favorite pizza is sausage, ham, pepperoni, bacon, hamburger, onion and green olive
xxiii. I have a scrunchie to match every outfit
xxiv. I've never gotten a speeding ticket
xxv. I like baseball

Posted by Susie at 06:29 AM | Comments (11)


I'm up at this ridiculous hour because sleep is eluding me. I hate it when that happens! However, I did find out I was fortunate enough to be included in the Commissar's Bestiary of Bloggers, and he found a way cool picture of a penumbra for my image.
Curse Thank you, Commissar! As always, I find your attention repulsive flattering!

Beal Awareness Week is half over, and I want to thank all those bloggers who have helped to publicize the epidemic. I am particularly grateful because no one has pointed out that I have consistently misspelled the condition's name--I discovered that it should actually be "Beale". That looks funny, though, doesn't it? Let's just go with the misspelling...

Posted by Susie at 06:01 AM | Comments (0)

February 11, 2004

Cruelty to Cats and Other Creatures

Ah, Frank-- you've done it again...made me laugh out loud so suddenly and without warning that my poor kitty jumped and fled the room. Know Thy Enemy: John Kerry proves that Frank does, indeed, hate cats.

UPDATE: Blackfive is responsible for another cat-startling incident with this picture...

Posted by Susie at 12:57 PM | Comments (1)

Double Whammy

Al Queda has it tough these days. It's getting harder for them to find quality help, especially since the good ones have been blown up. Let's help them, and ourselves, at the same time with this ad:

Tired of the same old Halliburton lies? Outraged that Bush stole the election? Heartbroken that Kucinich didn't make it to the Final Four? Look no further!
For fun in the sun with like-minded believers, call 1-888-xxx-5555 and ask for Osama.

Two birds with one stone...am I good or what?

Posted by Susie at 12:20 PM | Comments (1)

February 10, 2004

Hot Wheels and Linux boxes

I slept late. I had to pour out my first pot of coffee because it tasted like bleach (aside: am I the only one whose mother cannot be left unattended because she will clean things to within an inch of their lives?). I woke up with a sore throat and a cough, which I fear means I am getting sick again. Today is my Friday, so if I am getting sick, there goes another weekend! I still have this week's homework hanging over my head, and my car is due for an oil change.

On the bright side, it is my Friday, the sun is out today, and Frank is playing with his race cars.
Oops--my bad. That's "race card".

Harvey asks the eternal question:"I wonder what the internet equivalent of color TV will be?"

Pixy supplies the answer:

Because, you see, my 3-Ware RAID card wouldn't fit in my Lian Li case, and Linux doesn't recognise the extra IDE channels on my Gigabyte 7N400Pro2 so I had to use a PCI IDE card, which only allows me a total of 8 drives (4 from the motherboard, 4 from the card), so I couldn't put my 9 120GB drives in and had to use the 200GB SATA drive which I'd planned to put in my Windows box in the Linux box instead, and put my old 80GB IDE drive and the two left-over 120GB drives in the Windows box, which only leaves me with one IDE channel left instead of all four the way I had originally planned, and if I install the PCI IDE controller I bought to fix that the machine no longer boots at all.

Did I mention that the Bonfire is crackling merrily?

Posted by Susie at 01:05 PM | Comments (2)

Rinse. Repeat.

In my wanderings I discovered this gem. Are the Democrats the twenty-first century version of the National Socialist Party? Read it, then you make the call...

Posted by Susie at 12:43 PM | Comments (0)

February 09, 2004

Beal Awareness Week

I think it's the dreaded beal again. "Beal," for those who may not be aware, is an illness characterized by having it. It's named after the character Howard Beal in Network, and was discovered by one of my college English Lit professors.

Susie: "I can't go to class, I have beal."
Helpful questioner: "What's beal?"
Susie: "It's the reason I can't go to class."

In this case, though, I think beal has struck the blogosphere with a vengeance. I know I have been unable to comment on others' blogs because of it, and I suspect that there was a particularly bad outbreak this past weekend--only a few hardy souls were able to post at all. Unfortunately, there is no known cure for beal. It strikes without warning, usually in winter time, and has no set duration. Research into its cause and treatment are sadly underfunded. In fact, very few people are even aware it exists!

I am therefore declaring this Beal Awareness Week in the blogosphere.

What can you do to help? Sympathize. That's about it. If you stop by a regular read and they haven't posted, just let them know in a comment that you understand: "Sorry about your beal. Hope you get better soon." If you are a sufferer, try to let your readers know: "No post today. Beal." or if you are a reader: "I'd like to comment, but I have beal."

We can get through this epidemic if we all pull together.

Posted by Susie at 12:39 PM | Comments (21)

This just in....

The Bestofme Symphony is up at Dan K O'Leary's blog, and the King of Blogs for this week has three finalists Where the Hell Was I?, Walloworld and the reigning King, Christweb.

In other news, I'm naked under my clothes (well, nightie)...

Posted by Susie at 11:15 AM | Comments (2)

February 08, 2004

Those who can, sleep; those who can't, blog

Over at Hold the Mayo, Stephen has a Presidential campaign platform that's the most sensible thing I've heard since President Reagan held office. New political party, anyone? the No-mayos, perhaps?

My Latin's a little rusty...does this mean annika's getting some?

Tiger took his navel on the road...I've heard about those cafes with internet access, but I've never seen one...

Looks like the New Blog Showcase is still on hold. That info is a P.S. on a post discussing whether the Nazi extermination of 6 million Jews was the evilest evil ever. Nobody has brought up the 5 million non-Jews that were also Hitler's victims. The crippled, the mentally ill, Catholics, Poles, gypsies and homosexuals were all rounded up and killed. I would say that the methodical excision of 11 million people who were considered societal misfits is uniquely the evilest evil ever--so far...

Posted by Susie at 09:11 AM | Comments (3)

Some stuff

Well, looks like things were pretty quiet today--that lethargy must be contagious!

Thanks to Frank I found more kitties to add to my collection! These commie kitties are only grumpy because their boots are on the wrong feet...

Pixy--the server clock must still be off by an hour. It's really only 11:40 now.

Laugh out loud.

Posted by Susie at 12:37 AM | Comments (1)

February 07, 2004

Don't bother to read this

I've been wandering the blogosphere for an hour looking for inspiration, and even though I have read quite a few interesting posts I commented upon none of them. I have blogger's lethargy.

On the other hand, I now have a suitable Bonfire entry. Cool.

Posted by Susie at 10:36 AM | Comments (1)

February 06, 2004

Safety in numbers

Sir John of Argghhhh!!! has started a pre10tious twat twit webring, which I have proudly joined! I'll be getting the logo up soon, but you'll find the webring link at the very bottom of the sidebar...

Posted by Susie at 01:44 PM | Comments (4)

Get the fire ready...

New comment spammer--everyone say hello to "Debby" from
Debby is pimping smileys and clip art, so your porn filters may not work.

Posted by Susie at 12:57 PM | Comments (2)

February 05, 2004

Lies, Damn Lies, and Links

Well, I have four of the six required pages done on my paper, and I need a break. I'm really not used to so much thinking, since I am a pretentious twat...

However, I have an Alliance "assignment" due tomorrow, which seems like the perfect way to unwind from all that sexual harassment , so here goes:

Evil Glenn, as we all know, spends his days huddled over his keyboard surfing the internet for penguin porn juicy tidbits to which he links and adds his trademark bon mots. But what sites does he have bookmarked, returning again and again to enjoy in secret? At great risk to life and limb I have discovered

Evil Glenn's top 10 favorite websites

10. Arthur Murray.com
9. The waring blender page at Williams-Sonoma
8. Barbie.com
7. The Bow Tie Club
6. Bad Money
4. Chaco sandals and Hanes tube sox (tie)
3. Hobo links

And Evil Glenn #1 all-time favorite website:

1. This one.

Posted by Susie at 06:44 PM | Comments (2)

February 04, 2004

Wednesday Wanderings

The CoV is up at A Perfectly Cromulant Blog; it may take me a few days to get through everything....
This post, at Dissecting Leftism, which disputes the euro-myth that Americans are stupid, was extremely uplifting, since some days I am tempted to fall for the leftist propaganda that the whole world hates us. It kind of choked me up to read about our good points from a non-American's perspective.

So the New Blog Showcase had its week's vacation and should be back--except the same entries as two weeks ago are still up. Hmmm....

Frank is on a roll...from Top Ten Ways the Democrats Can Ensure Victory in the Presidential Election:

4. Texas has a large number of electoral votes certain to go to Bush. As Janet Reno demonstrated, it's quite flammable, and "accidents" happen.

He also has a new Know Thy Enemy--The Democratic Underground. Make sure all beverages are locked down far from your monitor and keyboard...

Tiger mistakenly wandered into a meeting for Democrats instead of Republicans, but missed an opportunity to report on infiltrating the enemy...I guess he was too tired from waiting for a phone call all day...

WindRider (who has now reduced the suckiness at Bloviating Inanities to well below the 50% mark) posts a link to an exclusive video of Paul dealing with an annoying co-worker.

Speaking of Paul, I think I'll get him to help me with my HR homework, especially the paper on sexual harrassment...

Harvey learned the hard way--beer matters.

Drink alert.

Posted by Susie at 12:51 PM | Comments (5)

February 03, 2004

Nothing like a liberal education...

The age-old dilemma--do I write or do I read? Do I blog, or do I enjoy what others have blogged? It seems like there just aren't enough non-work hours in the day to do both. Add to this the fact that Mozilla is still locking up, making blog surfing a bit of a chore rather than a pleasurable pastime, and voilà! the makings of a fine whine are to hand....

So, I'll whine about my class this semester instead. It's stupid. It's one of the stupidest classes I've taken so far in my quest for the elusive MSM. In fact, this class is so torturous that you'd think it was for a Mistress of Sado-Masochism instead of Masters of Science in Management.

What is this travesty of educational dollars? you wonder. Well, it's Human Relations Management. So far we have devoted 75% of our time and energy to sexual harassment in the workplace, and the other 25% to workplace diversity.

Now, I can certainly see how these two topics are worthy of coverage. But wouldn't a simple "sexual harassment bad; diversity good" have sufficed? Do we still have to be obsessing over it 7 chapters into the book? Do we have to be assigned a 6 page paper "case study" on a sexual harassment case from 1994?

Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm just too sensible. Or maybe I'm just too old to be offended by suggestive remarks very easily. The victims in case study were all barely out of their teens, after all. And teenagers, as I know too well, are to drama as cows are to methane. Now I'm not saying that young ladies should tolerate being groped by their lecherous bosses or even their lecherous co-workers. Nor should they lose their jobs when they say "Leave me the hell alone!" But we've covered that, already. It's time to move on. The next two chapters are on Workforce Training and Performance Management. I hope nobody's groping anyone in them, otherwise I'm really gonna wonder about the author of this text...

Posted by Susie at 02:04 PM | Comments (6)


Bonfire of the Vanities is up at Outside the Beltway: the worst of the worst is available for your ridiculing enjoyment...

Posted by Susie at 01:25 PM | Comments (2)

February 02, 2004

Hogging the Ground (coffee) Day

I'm having one of those mornings where, despite sufficient sleep, the coffee is making no inroads on its chore of brain re-animation. Please God, don't let me be coming down with another cold...

So, to 'splain my last post: Saturday night when I came out of work my car doors were frozen shut. This is not an unusual occurance, actually, as the rust marks along the door where the screwdriver I use as a prybar has scratched off the paint will attest. Unfortunately, the locks were also frozen. I eventually managed to get the passenger door unlocked and pried open, and had to climb over the shift console to drive home, praying the whole time I didn't get involved in a firey crash that required a fast egress...
I'm too old to be climbing over gearshifts in full winter regalia.

This week's Bestofme is at unbillable hours, and has a very funny legal theme. LeeAnn, maybe Tiger will give us a group discount!

Tim's back! Yay!

Poor Frank's having tv troubles! At least that didn't stop him from posting a (insert appropriate superlative here once coffee has vocabulary function operational again) new In My World hosted by Quibbles and Bits.

A note to Mr. Hypothetical--perhaps in Minx the "delete entry" button could be placed somewhere that pre-sufficient-coffee-intake bloggers won't accidently click it while aiming for the "save" button?

Posted by Susie at 11:34 AM | Comments (5)

February 01, 2004

Lame post 18.5

I hate winter.
Today is my 13 hour work day.
...unless I quit my job and decide to stay inside 'til Spring, which is sounding pretty tempting right now....

Posted by Susie at 01:13 AM | Comments (3)