One of my employees is either completely socially inept, or more totally self-involved than most teenagers. To wit: Wednesday morning I whacked my pinkie toe on a table leg and broke it (the toe, not the table leg). All I had time to do before heading into work was tape it to the next toe, swallow a couple of Tylenol, and rummage through the closet for my oldest (and therefore loosest) loafers. It hurt like the dickens, and I limped through most of my 12 hour workday, swearing inaudibly (unless I was in the projection booth, where my audible swearing was mantra-like in its regular cadence as I threaded projectors and started films).
Now, in normal social intercourse, if one inquires as to the wellbeing of another, and the reply is "Not so great, I broke my toe," one ordinarily responds with sympathy such as "Ouch! That's gotta hurt," or perhaps "I'm sorry--is there anything I can do for you?" or even "Oh, man, what happened?" This is what is known as common courtesy.
When one of my clerks breezed in to work with a "Hi, Susan! How are you?" I happened to be in mid-wince from pain and stated "Not so great, I broke my toe."
Her immediate response: "My mom broke four toes." She then proceeded to launch into a long story of how that came about.
I'm not sure why she seemed to think we were playing "Can you top this?" *
I do know that her reaction has negatively colored my opinion of her, and I'm not sure whether to say anything to her about it or not. Teenagers are notoriously self-absorbed, after all. I would even have understood if she had said she had once broken a toe and elaborated on how painful it was--at least in that case I could have assumed her sympathy. As it is, I really have to wonder if, deep down, there's something of a sociopath there, since this is not the first occasion I have noticed that she is completely lacking in empathy. (After one of my cashiers had a seizure and was taken off in an ambulance, she opined to the rest of that staff that she wished she'd had a seizure!)
Maybe the next time she starts her "Nobody likes me!" whine, I'll take her aside and explain to her why exactly that is....
* My family plays a game called "You think that's bad..." where we try to top the other person's horror stories; but we do it for the humor because we are firm believers that laughter is the best medicine.
Some days I feel like my life is one of those old 70's sitcoms, where everything goes wrong and the studio audience roars with laughter that gets louder with each new disaster.
I'm still having a problem keeping the days of the week straight, and with next Monday being another holiday (I need to dust off my copy of 1776 in preparation) I afraid my confusion is going to get even worse. If I worked a nine-to-five job it wouldn't matter so much, but since my work schedule depends on what day of the week it is, I'm afraid that one of these days I'm going to go in at noon when I should go at 6pm, or worse, think I'm supposed to go in at six when I should've been there at noon.
I didn't used to be so spacey. In fact, my mom still brags about my memory (which, thank God, is still better than hers, but since she's in her 70's now that's not saying a lot). It's also taking me longer to dredge up those tidbits of trivia that so impress people that when they are watching a movie on TV and can't remember the name of it they call me and describe it so I can tell them what it is. It used to be that I could walk through a room and see a snippet of a film on the TV screen and know exactly what it was. Now I know I know it, but the title is back in a dusty file cabinet drawer that just won't open no matter how hard I tug.
Yes, my brain needs a file clerk.
|Your IQ Is 120|
Your Logical Intelligence is Above Average
Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius
Your General Knowledge is Above Average
I blame my low score on lack of coffee....
(Snagged from Victor, who is smarter than me...)
And the deadline for the Birthday Bonfire is midnight tonight. Now that the Bonfire has hit the "Terrible Twos" I think we can look forward to bigger tantrums, louder whining and more "time for a nap" posts than ever before!
I'm not only the founder of "Hair Implants for Babies"--I'm also a customer!
How do I know? Because she tagged me with the "5 Things" meme....
5 Things That Society At Large Enjoys That I Don't Get
#5 Cable Television--I can't afford cable or a dish.
Oh, wait!!!! 5 Things I don't understand why others enjoy.....Okay.
#5 Sushi--why do people eat bait? I don't get it.
#4 Pajamas as outerwear--what's up with that? I don't get it.
#3 Double Mocha Frappuccino with a Twist--don't these people like coffee? I don't get it.
#2 Basketball--yes, I live in Indiana, but Hoosier Hysteria needs treated with Valium or something. I don't get it.
#1 "Reality" TV shows--everything from Survivor to Judge Judy. What's the fascination? I don't get it.
Now I'm supposed to "tag" some other people, but I'm still waiting for responses from the last time I did the meme thing, so I'm going to break the chain, and hope my currently bad luck doesn't get any worse....However, if you'd like to be tagged, just volunteer in my comments and I'll see what I can do...
UPDATE: Speaking of things I don't get--journalists' terminology.
Title of the article: "Afghan Forces Find Bodies of 76 Rebels." Ok, I understand that.
In the text of the article: "In all, a total of 178 militants have been killed and 56 suspected insurgents have been captured..."
So we are killing "militants," capturing "insurgents," and finding the bodies of "rebels." I guess there must be a scorecard somewhere--or maybe they can tell the difference from their uniforms...
Things that are currently annoying me:
Typepad--I finally got the time to add new Alliance members and I can't get in to add them to their typelist.
Rove apology demand--what idiots!
Nightmares--werewolves and zombies and demons, oh my!
I guess I can blame them all on the full moon. Or two out of three, anyway. I think the nightmares were caused by the Chinese food....
Even though officially this is my day off, I have to go in to open today since one of my Assistant Managers is out of town, and the other, who was going to take the whole twelve hours, is going to have four movies to tear down and three to put together, almost all of it after we close, so he'll probably be there until 4am, and that's if everything goes smoothly. The way things have been going lately, smooth is not likely.
The "scope" lens in theater one won't focus--something is out of alignment in its innards, and the best I can do is get the picture sharp on the top half of the screen or the bottom half of the screen. The problem is irreparable, and only a new lens will solve it--and the owner won't spring for a new lens. So every single showing, people come out to complain about the focus. Then, Tuesday night after I left, the projector in theater two got so dark that my assistant had to give everyone at the last show passes. Turns out that the bulb had vibrated itself off center, so no light was getting through the lens. Only I didn't know that until after we'd had to cancel the first two matinees on 50¢ day. Most of the customers were nice about it, but one was irate that we hadn't publicized the cancellation. Um, lady--even if we know which radio station you listen to, or what newpaper you read, we didn't plan to have mechanical difficulties! There's also an ongoing problem with projector three--a pin holding on one of the sprocket reels sheered off, and threading three is an adventure every time.
Overheard customer movie review of the week: "I got my money's worth--all fifty cents."
It occurs to me that we Munuvians are not doing our part to ensure a timely take-over of the blogosphere. I mean, here we are, probably the largest blogging community on earth not bankrolled by a corporation, and every single one of us links to every other single one of us, and munu was not even a blip on Sobriquet Magazine's radar. Hey, we fit his criteria for "link doping": we don't share a common blogging topic of interest, like the military or God, and we link the heck out of each other with a handy blogrolling code that's available either alphabetically or chronologically. Yet, tragically, he focused his criticisms on the joke-that-wouldn't-die instead.
Rise up, Munuviana! Demand our badge of infamy! Badger Pixy to enroll us as one of the Communities at the Ecosystem. We have nothing to lose but our obscurity!
(Cross posted at Munuviana)
The First Annual "Go Commando for Harvey" Day!
That's right, gentle readers--in honor of the Blogfather of the Bad Example Family, all bloggers and blog readers are urged to forego underpants today. I myself will be heading to work in a lovely multi-colored sundress, sans panties or even pantyhose, just for Harvey. I hope it's not too windy today...
Oh, and since Harv requested "toys" as his present, here's what I got him:
I have no idea what this is, but it sure sounds like something he'd like...
I've had a lot of hobbies in my life. Most of them don't last very long. I try something new, master it, and get bored. I can knit, crochet, needlepoint, embroider, decoupage, and puff paint. I've painted in oils, water color, acrylic, oil pastels and gouache. I've collected stamps, coins, and beanie babies. I've been through jigsaw puzzle and crossword puzzle phases. I've played Dungeons and Dragons, and I've beaten many a Nintendo game. I've successfully grown annuals and perennials, daffodils and daisies, and I can tell the difference between a tomato and a bean seedling.
Except for recreational reading, the longest duration hobby I've ever had is blogging. I have been publicizing my thoughts, sharing my frustrations, and posting stupid quizzes for over two years now, and that is a record for me.
A gentleman who authors Sobriquet Magazine posted an essay on Blogcritics in which he used The Alliance of Free Blogs as his primary example of the evils of what he called "link doping." I have a couple of issues with his post, and I left him a comment to that effect, but I think there is more to say about this.
First off, Harvey brilliantly marshals the reasons why link-whoring is good thing. If bloggers didn't want to expose their thoughts and ideas to the entire web, they would use a passworded journal. And if they want readers to find their little blog that is languishing in Bogsplot obscurity, they need advertising. Linking is the blogosphere's "word of mouth".
Sobriquet Magazine's charge that the Alliance is gaming the Ecosystem completely ignores the fact that the Bear has designed his tracking system to compile rankings on both linkage and traffic. He also doesn't seem to distinguish between what I consider "passive" and "active" links--from blogrolls and from posts. Readers are far more likely to visit a blog they have never seen before from a permalink in a post than from a random link in the middle of a lengthy blogroll.
The Alliance of Free Blogs arose from joke, and, like many other of Frank's projects, probably would have died a natural death as soon as he lost interest were it not for the fact that a select few of the original members decided to see how long we could beat a dead horse. Pretty long, I think, since the Alliance is coming up on its two year blogiversary in August. It also would have faded into obscurity were there not a need that we are filling: the need for attention.
Sobriquet Magazine made an interesting statement in response to my comment on his post. He said
I merely feel that the Alliance is the most visiable[sic] and, joke or no joke, possibly the most influential of these ventures.He then likened his criticism of the Alliance to our targeting of the Puppy Blender. How cool is that? The Beatles are more popular than Jesus!
He also said
In any case, I am all for blog communities if they are built around the premise of alerting readers to worthy sites in a similar vein. I just worry that certain groups such as the Alliance encourage a particularly virilant [sic] strain of link whoring/link doping that threatens to add more roadblocks for bloggers who don't think that "[b]logging is a hobby of pure ego." For some folks, it is anything but a hobby.
I guess that means he's ok with Milblogs and the Blogdom of God, because homogeneity is apparently a good thing. Variety, individuality, and exposing readers to other points of view (especially "crappy" ones) "threatens" bloggers who don't think blogging is a hobby.
hob·by1 An activity or interest pursued outside one's regular occupation and engaged in primarily for pleasure.
Ok, now I'm confused. There are people to whom blogging is their livelihood? Or engage in it primarily for pain? Who knew?
As a result of the “gratuitous linkage” and the huge role links play in ranking blogs on the highly influential Truth Laid Bear, many crappy websites clutter the upper echelons of the ecosystem and appear in search engines while many weblogs deserving that level of attention languish unread because no one can find them.
So maybe everyone should just stop linking to everyone else. We should all be afraid to read a blog we've never read before for fear it may be "crappy" and deny some other blogger their living or their much-desired suffering. We need to tighten our blogrolling belts and cull out all the links to blogs that might, sometime, somewhere, be considered "crap" by anyone.
You know why? Because the way to get attention--the way to get traffic--is to link to someone else's blog--even gratuitously. Because blogging, as Harv says, really is a "hobby of pure ego" and if you link to another blogger, they are going to come and see what you've said about them. And they might like what they've seen and come back again.
Or even blog about it.....
This time I really did miss posting yesterday, but that's because I was deeply involved in the exploits of a retired MP named Jack Reacher.
I'm getting very spacey; I suspect I am being slowly poisoned by popcorn fumes.
Ohh--I meant to post a pic for KoK yesterday. I am going to post it today and backdate it to yesterday. Muhahahaha......
In honor of Father's Day, I present my Dad's first airplane ride:
Did I post yesterday? I don't remember. I had such a bad day at work Wednesday that I spent much of Thursday in a fog. The good thing is, I did get to see Matthew McConaughey without his shirt on in Sahara. The bad thing is, my work week is starting again and I don't feel like I've had a day off.
Wednesdays are usually stressful anyway, what with the twelve-hour shift and the irrationality of 50¢ day customers. This one was worse, because there were a lot of little irritants--sort of like a paper cut: it's not bad enough to bandage, but it hurts like hell.
Parts kept jumping off projectors, so that I had problems with all three of them at various times. A toilet paper dispenser fell off the wall in one of the men's rooms, and the storage cabinet locks had gotten so sticky with "butter" that we had to buy graphite when we bought the liquid nails to remount the TP holder. But worst of all, my hopes were dashed when the GM informed me that the owner had decided we weren't going to get the computer that we had been promised, and was supposed to be installed yesterday. Since both the GM and I thought I was getting the computer, we had let our ticket supply run out, so I'm starting the weekend off on the thin edge of ticketlessness.
I think if we run out, I'll just let the people come in without paying. That'll teach the owner not to disappoint me!
Different people find different things frightening. Just as one person might yelp at the sight of a spider but the next pick it up and make it a pet, everyone has their own reactions to different stimuli. People whose fears tend to be irrational or debilitating enough to seek professional help in overcoming them are often treated by the process of desensitization. Over time, repeated exposure to the source of the fear can result in "normal" reactions to flying, dogs, snakes, whatever.
Fear is a learned response. Just as a two year old is not afraid to run out into a busy street, or grab a hot pot on the stove, humans need to learn, either from personal experience or education, what actions and situations pose an actual danger to them. Some people come to enjoy the rush of adrenaline that fear produces. Others become so overcome by their fear that they go to great lengths to avoid the frightening object or situation.
By-and-large, a pre-schooler does not differentiate between reality and make-believe. When I see a scene in Amityville Horror where the babysitter is trapped in a closet with a very pale, scary-looking little girl who grabs the baby-sitter's hand and forces her finger into the gaping hole in the little girl's forehead, I know that there won't be any dead children in my closet when I get home from the movie. How does a three-year old know that? Maybe that scene won't bother the child. Maybe instead she will think that if those children's daddy can try to kill their mommy with an ax, hers might too. Maybe she'll develop a fear of doors and windows locking themselves so she can't get out. Or maybe all of those will haunt that child for a long time to come, developing into phobias about closets, bearded men and locked windows that could affect her long into adulthood.
For parents to take a small child to an "R" rated horror film without any thought to the effect such a film might have on their child's emotional well-being is selfish, irresponsible, and bad parenting. But what really pisses me off is that I can't tell these morons what I think of them--for fear I will lose my job.
What is wrong with people? I expect that the mom whose four-year old died on the Disney ride will be suing Disney for her own lack of judgment. Don't parents have any sense? Just because your child is tall enough to go on a ride does not mean they are emotionally ready to have the stuffing scared out of them!
Parents have been bringing their toddlers to see Amityville Horror. Do they want their three-year-old to have nightmares? Do they want their six year old to be psychologically scarred for life? Will they be shocked when their child needs years of therapy because they are too young now to differentiate between make-believe and reality? Are they expecting their child to grow up to be a serial killer anyway?
I. don't. get. it.
I hear by declare June 21st, 2005 the official Blogosphere "Go Commando Day"! That's right, ladies--in honor of Harv's second anniversary of blogging I urge all his female readers to eschew underwear on June 21st.
Make sure you stop by his blog that day and tell him about it. But, be warned! Knowing Harvey, I suspect he'll want pictures...
Today will be my third pantie-free work day, and I'm running out of outfits I can wear without traumatizing the children...I foresee Cheer® and Snuggle® in my near future....
I guess I was almost three when this was taken, because my sister (on the right) looks about one and a half. My mom is the tall one in the center...
While I don't remember the occasion of that photo, I vividly recall my little rocking chair--especially because a year or so later that same sister whacked her head on one of the rockers and had to get stitches. Um...it was the dog's fault...yeah, that's the ticket!
So now I am up at a ridiculously early hour because I went to bed at a ridiculously early hour last night. At least I didn't accomplish anything important yesterday. Unfortunately, that means I'm going to have to find something I can wear to work without underwear since no laundry got done. Does anyone know where the phrase "going commando" came from, anyway?
I had a really long day yesterday, and I didn't realize how exhausted I was until I woke up this afternoon--at 2 pm! There goes my day off! Sheesh! It's also going to screw up my body clock, since I have to go in around 10am tomorrow to do inventory before we open, and then around 7am on Saturday to open the place for a group that has rented our auditorium to use before we open at noon.
The really bad thing about only having one day off is that you can either laze around or get stuff done that you've been putting off, like laundry, but not both in one week. It seems like my corpus chose for me this week.
I'm going with the flow....
I've been having a hard time keeping track of what day of the week it is, first with Memorial Day and then with my work schedule changing once school got out. I don't just "know" what day it is, I have to think about it--try and remember what yesterday was, look at the calendar and see if that makes sense, and try to recall what hours I worked yesterday (6-12) and what I'm supposed to work today (12-6). I don't like being confused. If I ever get senior dementia or whatever they call it, I'm going to be a very unhappy camper. I hope that once I get used to the new schedule I'll start being able to keep track again, otherwise I might have to see my doctor and ask her to check me for cerebral vapor-lock.
Some days I get the impression that our customers have self-flushing toilets and motion-detector faucets at home, since a lot of them don't seem to know that they should give the commode handle a tug or turn off the water when they are through using the sink.
I read somewhere that John Effing Kerry plans to start impeachment proceedings against the President because of some British memos. Talk about a sore loser! The story said he was going to introduce it to the Senate yesterday. Since I didn't see any headlines to that effect this morning, I wonder if he meant he was going to put it on his "to do" list on Monday, right after "release military records."
June 6th, 1944
It's been 61 years since the Allies launched the Invasion of Normandy. I wonder what CNN coverage of the carnage would have done to moral at home. Would the US have had the fortitude to go all the way to Berlin with talking heads racking up the body count on the nightly news? What if Oliver Stone and George Lucas had been making movies in the '40s, depicting the peaceful residents of Dresden being incinerated by Allied bombers and heroic Luftwaffe pilots leaving their families to defend their country from evil Imperialist Americans?
What if Hitler had been captured, and the tabloids printed pictures of him in his tighty-whities?
Karnival of Kids is up at Iowa Geek!
They always need hosts and hostesses, so volunteer by sending an email to karnival.kidz at gmail.com...
This is a photo of my grandmother's younger brother. I don't know why he was wearing a dress, but there are lots of baby pictures of him in drag. He grew up straight despite that--so far as we know....
Carnivals! Carnivals everywhere! There are Cats, and Kids and Best and Worst Carnivals. There are Carnivals for Christians and Conservatives and Capitalists...there's even a handy all-purpose submission form with dozens of Carnivals to choose from here.
But this has to be the best Carnival, because it's the least work: Carnival of the Trackbacks.
Kevin, you rule!
I've got some kind of viral thing, I guess, making me feel yucky. I made my assistant take over from me on Wednesday and left early. I've slept about a gazillion hours since then, but haven't kicked it yet, and I need to go in early today to do inventory. Yesterday, the paychecks didn't come in the mail. If they come today, I'll have been at work two hours already (since my mail comes around 4pm) and then I'll have to leave work and go home to see if they came. If they haven't, then I'm going to have to call corporate--but by then, they'll have all gone home already. Plus, my other assistant manager called me last night to tell me that my best employee gave his two weeks. I need to talk to him to see what's up. If he's found a better-paying job, or if he's just sick of dealing with the daily stupidity of customers saying "Give me a large," but acting like he's the idiot when he asks them if they want a large popcorn or a large soda, I'll accept his decision. But if there's something at work that I can change in order to keep him (more hours? less hours? permission to smack whiny teenage co-workers?) I want to know it. So I still have to wait a few hours before I can do anything about the stuff that's bothering me. I think I'll go back to bed....
Things are buggin' me. Stuff that I have no control over has a tendency to make me crazy. If something's broke, I like to get it fixed.
Ripples. Ramifications. I see them, but I can't do anything about them--yet. Waiting..... Grrr. I hate waiting. I'll deal with it tomorrow, but it's really bugging me tonight. After all, there might not even be a problem. But if there is...I guess I must be a control freak, because I hate it when I'm at the mercy of events.
No, I don't want to talk about it. Maybe tomorrow...
You'll probably think it's stupid to be bent out of shape over 'em, anyway. I kind of do, myself....
Got this email this morning:
From: "Daniel Johnston"
Subject: This goes double for you.
Date: Wed, 1 Jun 2005 06:18:02 +0000
Hi, I thought I would tell you a couples of ways to really be patriotic.
How about asking our government to strengthen enviromental laws. How about asking Bush to supply our troops with body armor instead of huge kickbacks for Haliburton. How about questioning our leaders about the Iraq War instead of blindly accepting everything you hear on the corperate media. You're mindless nationalism is a very dangerous thing today James. You're site is'nt patriotic, it's fluff that you'll hear on Fox News and every other mainstream media outlet. When you don't fight to make things better than you're the one betraying this country.
USA rules! Peace
By the way, looking at you're site, it looks like you're the one who is a
Now go beat off like the whiny bitch who runs anti anti-flag did.
Ah, where do I start? First: Thank you, Daniel, for giving me something to blog about! Next, let me make a few general remarks regarding basic composition. Ordinarily, one marks questions by the use of a lovely little piece of punctuation called, interestingly, the question mark. Also, when using the apostrophe, remember that its purpose is to delineate missing sounds or letters. Did you really mean "You are mindless nationalism is a very dangerous thing today James. You are site is'nt [sic] patriotic..."? These basic punctuation errors make your (not you're) writing a little difficult to comprehend.
Now, as to content. While it is quite acceptable to address an individual directly, Daniel, it is only polite to get their name right. My name is "Susie," not "James." Further, it would aid rational discussion if you were to make reference to the specific post or posts with which you find fault. For example, you could begin your missive by saying "In your May 30th post you asked your readers to perpetuate the genocide of our bovine brothers, and I thought I would give you some unsolicited grief about carnivorism without providing any factual basis for my objections. Oh, and you are a whiny bitch." Because your statements have no context, they sound remarkably like the mindless screeching from the Democratic Underground (blah blah Haliburton blah blah Chimpy is Hitler blah blah blah).
Furthermore, you make the unwarranted assumption that I watch television (or other "corperate" media) and quote it verbatim (blah blah Fox News blah blah blah) and post their "fluff." I'll have you know that I only post my own fluff, thank you very much! And I do not recall, although I could be mistaken, any of my fluff involving the definition of or soliciting suggestions for "a couples [sic] of ways to really be patriotic."
Now, a patriot is "One who loves, supports, and defends one's country." So to be really patriotic, you suggest strengthening "enviromental" laws? I guess I missed the memo that explains how the Spotted Owl is our last bastion of defense again Canadian agression....
Daniel, I do agree that our troops should have the best equipment of any nation in the world. But I also seem to recall that it is Congress that provides funding for our national defense, and that the government contract with Haliburton dates to the Clinton administration--but why should you let facts cloud your opinions (blah blah Chimpy McHitler blah blah Conspiracy blah blah blah)?
One last grammatical note, concerning the usage of "than" and "then". "Than" is used comparatively, as in "Your email is less than persuasive." "Then" is used consequentially, as in "When you email Susie without double-checking your grammar, then you get your writing fisked."