May 29, 2006

Pastafarians Unite!

I have decided to convert to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, largely due to the following irrefutable evidence about global warming:


All Praise His Noodly Appendages!

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May 28, 2006

I might make it until Tuesday...

On my way to work, half way through the far, no men in white coats have been called for me! Hurray!

Posted by Susie at 10:27 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

May 27, 2006

This will keep me entertained for hours...


(Thanks to my brother PK.)

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May 26, 2006

I need a shark with a frickin' laser beam attached to its head kill comment spammers! I just spent most of my blogging time closing the comments on every post on my old Typepad blog...

I hate frickin' comment spammers. I really do.

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May 25, 2006

Endurance Test

Well, I'm in for a long weekend--Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday are all work days for me this week, so I expect to be a zombie by the time Tuesday rolls around. However, since the tireder I get, the sillier I get, there may be some interesting blogging ahead, so stay tuned....

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May 24, 2006

Lame Post # 372

Well, I'm getting ready to leave for work and I still don't have anything to blog about. I hate that.

Oh, the new Lee Child was great!

That was something, right?

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May 23, 2006

Now I'm thirsty....

One of the compensations of checking Alliance applicants for membership compliance is I get to read a lot of blogs I may not have stumbled over otherwise. Sometimes I find cool stuff!

You Are Guinness
You know beer well, and you'll only drink the best beers in the world.
Watered down beers disgust you, as do the people who drink them.
When you drink, you tend to become a bit of a know it all - especially about subjects you don't know well.
But your friends tolerate your drunken ways, because you introduce them to the best beers around.
What's Your Beer Personality?

Thanks to Res at 704 Houser Street

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Western Redundancy Theater

Got an email from my brother....

Saturday I saw a sign in front of some church that read "The DaVinci Code: Fact or Fiction?" and listed the meeting time to debate the issue.

So I screamed out the window...
"FICTION! It's a fictional book! Next..."

In the same spirit, I propose the following equally-valid topics for public debate:

- 'Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan' - Fact or Fiction?

- Deciphering 'Everybody Loves Raymond'

- 'King Kong' - Real or Hoax?

- Unleashing the secrets behind The-Texas-Double-Whopper.

- Did Mrs. Doubtfire secretly give birth? - The Truth Revealed

and finally...

- James Bond or The Bionic Woman: Who will save YOU?

Anybody else have any earth-shattering topics that just cry out for a public forum? Please feel free to drop them in the comments, and let's see if we can solve any "unsolved mysteries"....

Posted by Susie at 09:38 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

May 22, 2006

And that, milord, is how we know the earth to be banana-shaped

I know I'm preaching to the choir, but the "news" really ticks me off. Not so long ago I read online that the earth's temperature hasn't gone up in a decade--essentially saying that global warming is a crock. (I wish I had links to the evidence, but I don't--I forget where I read it). Today, my news home page has an ABC story stating, as if it were a proved fact, that "man-made global warming" is causing not only more hurricanes, but stronger ones (Category 6!). They used that term--"man-made global warming"-- FOUR times in their scare article.

The funny thing is.... well, compare for yourselves:

But because of man-made global warming, most hurricane scientists say now we will probably be getting Category 4 and 5 hurricanes more frequently in the coming decades.
A few paragraphs later...
In May 2005, NOAA predicted the summer Atlantic would see 12 to 15 named tropical storms. There were 28. It predicted seven to nine storms would become hurricanes, with winds of at least 74 mph. Fifteen did. It predicted three to five of the hurricanes would be "major," with winds of at least 111 mph. Seven were, and six of them came ashore in the United States.

So they tell us that "several scientists" predict that hurricanes are going to get worse (due entirely to man-made global warming), then point out what poor handicappers the scientists are, before wrapping up with seems reasonable to expect that the frequency of storms we have already seen with sustained winds over 175 or 180 mph may indeed creep up as the globe keeps warming.

I really think that some of these "journalists" would be better off in Hollywood following their true calling--writing horror movie scripts--because at least that would be an honest admission that all they really want to do is scare people...

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May 21, 2006

I can't see clearly now

I'm either getting very clutzy or am having another round of bad luck. In the past couple of days I've burned my hand (while taking the filter out of my coffee pot, it burped a cloud of hot steam at me) and broken my glasses. The latter is the more frustrating of the two since I can't get the arm put back on until tomorrow, so I am wearing my old pair. The problem with the old pair is that they are really old, so that while they work fine for my distance vision for things like driving, they don't have the bifocal feature of my new pair that allows me clear middle every time I need to see something about a foot away clearly, I have to take my glasses OFF.

I guess I need one of those neck chains--do they still make those?

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May 20, 2006

I miss all the fun...

My atypical work hours tend to keep me out of the family social loop, since they normally party on the weekends like all "normal" folk. I missed a heck of a party last night. My sister's horse got loose as her husband was taking him from the pasture to the barn, and half the party-goers spent more than an hour running through fields and driving down country roads trying to chase him down. They finally caught him, unharmed, and walked him home with a sheriff's escort.

My brother-in-law told me one of the ways they tracked him was watching for all the groups of deer he spooked. I told him that they should lease the horse to parties of hunters, to flush game for them....

Posted by Susie at 10:56 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 19, 2006

Change is good--right?

Well, I'm headed into my first weekend with my new Ass. (Wo)Man. Here's hoping I survive.....

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May 18, 2006

I'm a cat person, but...

One of my sisters stopped by on her way back from the vet with her new puppy, a Bernese Mountain Dog that's the cutest little thing and almost makes me want to get a canine...

My sister promised me pictures, so I may post one when I get them...

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May 17, 2006


Well, after arguing myself blue in the face (yes, that's a cliche, but I my brain seems to have a lot of holes in it lately, and I can't think of a more creative metaphor), the powers-that-be agreed to let me promote one of my cashiers to assistant manager. Yay! That means there won't be a vacuum in the power structure for six or eight weeks while I try to find someone from outside and teach them all the stuff my cashier already knows. Let's not mention the (thankfully averted) prospect of dozens of consecutive twelve-hour days that yours truly would have had to put in had not a qualified assistant been found before school gets out.

I will be working on my day off tomorrow, just to make sure that the new right hand woman doesn't have any questions or problems that she can't handle, but that's a small price to pay to avoid going it solo in the weeks to come.

It's nice when things work out occasionally...

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May 15, 2006

I may just crawl into a dark hole somewhere and wait until Autumn...

I had a rough day yesterday at work.

No, nothing broke--except my spirit. My assistant manager informed me that she had gotten a job at a first-run movie theater and that she starts this Thursday. I knew she was interviewing for it, and I figured they'd hire her, because she is terific, but the official word just went "splat" on my head when she told me. I had just been working on the upcoming week's schedule, and discovered that five of my eight employees had asked off for Saturday. Since I need a minimum of 5 employees--assuming one of them could work a double--I was already facing the prospect of threats and tears and resignations when I post the schedule.* Running a Saturday, even when it's slow, without an Assistant to split the hours, not to mention the "rush" tasks of threading and starting movies, handling customer problems, getting change from the safe (why DO people try to pay for a dollar ticket with a $50 bill? That one still eludes me), and making sure the clerks are actually working and not having rubber band fights, is sure to bring on a nervous breakdown.

If we get a decent movie that brings in more business, I'm screwed.

*Ok, theoretically I could do it with three, if all three were 18 years old and therefore not subject to child labor laws limiting their hours. They'd be zombies by 8pm, but it could be done. But this is a minimum-wage employer we're talking about here. Besides which, two of the three who didn't ask off have ball games--out of town!--Saturday morning, so they can't work until the evening anyway...

Posted by Susie at 12:34 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

May 12, 2006

Two hats are worse than one

After sleeping about 14 hours yesterday I feel a little better. I'd like to play hooky from work today, but that's not gonna happen--it's inventory day, though, so at least I have something fun to do. It must be my misanthropic personality; I enjoy office busy-work more than the other aspects of my job. I was thinking the other day that if I was just the manager, or just the projectionist, I would enjoy my job a lot more. It makes me crazy sometimes when I have to be in two places at once--if I'm upstairs threading a movie, I can't be downstairs making sure the kids go clean the theaters as they get out, and if I'm downstairs directing traffic, I can't be upstairs making sure the movies start on time.

If only business wasn't so unbearably slow! It always is in the Spring, what with proms and graduations and folks working on their lawns and getting their lake cottages open. It makes the time drag. I'd rather be playing Neopets...

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May 11, 2006

It's one of those queasy tummy, not-quite-feverish, neither a mackerel nor a quail kind of things

I feel yucky.

Posted by Susie at 11:11 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

May 10, 2006

Maybe they should sell them with Valium

One thing I hate when I read a novel is if the characters have real problems. They can be skiing down an alp escaping a crazed killer, or trying to figure out who poisoned the librarian with curare, and that's fine. But if they are struggling to make their house payments, or being sued by a guy who fell down their porch steps, or audited by the IRS, those things are all within the realm of the possible for your average person, and they bother me because they are "real" problems, and I have enough problems of my own without worrying about somebody else's, even if they are a fictional character.

If I wanted my anxiety levels raised I would stop taking my medicine.

What brought this up was a book I just started, Solomon vs. Lord. I enjoyed the first few chapters because of the witty repartee. But all of a sudden, there's the anxiety-producing dilemma: Solomon has a nephew he wants legal custody of, and the state's child welfare juggernaut has not only traumatized the child but appears to be actively malevolent in its actions. This is a "real" problem--government bureaucrats who think they have the right to control everyone else's lives--and it wrecks the whole "I read to escape" thing...

Some days, I think I'm a Libertarian at heart.

Posted by Susie at 05:52 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

May 09, 2006


What's with all the comment spammers who are using random strings of letters for the urls they pimp?

Posted by Susie at 11:45 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

May 08, 2006

It's a gal thing, I guess

I've been reading Randy Wayne White's Doc Ford books. I like them, except that, like a lot of adventure novel heroes, Doc's something of a whore. Every book he's got a new main squeeze, sometimes because the last one got killed. He has started to remind me of Dirk Pitt in that respect, which is too bad, really--some time I'd like to read about an adventure hero who isn't afraid to commit...

Posted by Susie at 12:09 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

May 07, 2006

I even wandered around Quizilla looking for something to post, but all the interesting quizzes had too many misspelled words and that really irritated me....

I have to leave for work in twenty minutes, and I'm still sitting here at my keyboard in my nightie drinking coffee and trying to think of something to blog about. Guess I'm going to be late to work.

Posted by Susie at 10:33 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

May 06, 2006

Fragmentally Yours

Well, I don't have time to blog today because I got the sudden urge to defrag my hard drive, and it took over an hour because something kept writing to the disk and it kept having to start over at the beginning. *Sigh.* I suspect it was my anti-virus program. Anyone know if it's safe to turn off your anti-virus when defragging?

Posted by Susie at 12:47 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

May 05, 2006

I couldn't even find a good quiz...

I'm trying to get back into the habit of blogging every day, which means there will be days like today when I have nothing to say.

I'm afraid I really hope that nothing worth blogging about happens at work tonight, either. I'm not in the mood for the usual disasters!

Oh, well--if nothing comes to me tonight or tomorrow, I can always try my hand an an Alliance "assignment"...

Posted by Susie at 11:31 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 04, 2006

Abby Somebody

My dad always used to say "You learn something new every day." (He's full of aphorisms, from advice about catching flies with honey to keeping quiet if you don't have a positive remark). Yesterday I learned something new--that I probably have ADD.

Interesting, isn't it? That "normal" really isn't. Or rather, that it's self-defined based on one's own experience. For me, it's always been perfectly normal to be able to focus profoundly on one task to the exclusion of others, and yet at the same time be unable to watch television unless I am also crocheting or reading or snacking. Being devoted to the "pile" method of organization is apparently also a pointer to this condition. I wouldn't be at all surprised if my tendency to go through hobbies the way a shark knifes through the water is also a "symptom," although my sister and I didn't discuss that one when she told me that one of her daughters had been diagnosed as having ADD and that the doctor suspects she has it as well.

The question is, do I really need another disorder? I already have the panic thing, some OCD and various phobias, so my quota of current trendy conditions is about full. On the other hand, I suppose it's possible that getting my brain chemicals realigned to fix the ADD might fix some of the other stuff too--if I have ADD.

Someday, when I get health insurance, I might look into it. In the meantime--Oooooh! Something shiny!!!!

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May 03, 2006

It's too late, baby, yeah...

I buy most of my books from They have good prices and fast shipping. Sometimes they will email me about a book I have purchased, requesting a customer review for their website. That's pretty cool.

There's a problem, though. They usually send the request about 3 or 4 weeks after I've gotten the book. That means I've read between 10 and 20 other books since I read the one they're interested in, and I really can't remember it well enough to review anymore!

Every silver lining has a cloud...

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May 01, 2006

Manager Susie and Ms. Hyde

Something odd has been going on at work for weeks now, and there seem to be only three possible explanations, none of which make sense.

It's about switches. They're getting switched. Things that are supposed to be on have been turned off, and things that are supposed to be off have been turned on. Sometimes there are minor consequences, but occasionally, like yesterday, there are fairly major ones.

Yesterday I started the first show, and the movie had no sound. I checked everything--the breakers were on, the amplifier was plugged in, the sound reader was projecting light and the film was threaded correctly. I had to give everyone in the theater passes, cancel the rest of the shows in that theater, and call our projector technician. For once he was able to come within a few hours, and you know what? The amplifier was turned off.

Now ordinarily you would just dismiss this, as the owner did, as somebody having just flipped it off for whatever reason. The thing is, though, I closed the night before--was the one to turn off everything and lock up behind me--and I opened the next morning, and I did not touch that switch. Heck, I didn't even really know there was a switch! Whoever switched it had to have done it between midnight and noon, and must have had not only a key to the building but also a key to the projection booth. Either that, or our poltergeist did it, or I have a covert second personality that's messing with me.

The suspect list is small in this case, since only I and a few trusted employees have both those keys (the cleaner and several vendors have a building key, but not a booth key). So, unless I am suffering a split personality, or the theater's ghost has taken to playing with switches instead of plumbing, one of my trusted employees is not only untrustworthy, but something of a saboteur. That's pretty disturbing.

I think I really rather would prefer it to have been my evil twin...

Posted by Susie at 09:52 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack