Practical Penumbra

Not Pining for the Fijords

Had a little computer problem and lost all my bookmarks...but Harvey came to my rescue! Yay! Posting will resume until morale improves, or something like that.

Updated! This may cut into my DVD watching schedule UPDATED 8-14

Well, after all this time I finally have a job interview!* Ironically, after all the interviewing I have done of prospective employees, I am a little nervous about being on the other side of the desk, since it's been over six years since I was last out of work. There are the BIG questions:

Should I wear slacks or finally go back to shaving my legs?
Black shoes or brown? and can I even find them?
Hair long and straight, or sedately confined?
What IS the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

I'll try and let you know how it goes....
________
*I'm not counting the "open interview" at the national video chain since it was more like a pie-eating contest than a job interview. Boy, did I waste my makeup that day. But I digress...

UPDATE: I followed my reader's suggestions and went with the skirt (and shaved legs!) and upswept hair and I think the interview went pretty well. The good news: they have twenty positions. The bad news: they aren't actually hiring until after Labor Day.

Reporting as Requested

So, just an update so that all my loyal readers know that I continue to lurk on the earthbound plane--I'm still looking for work, and when not so involved, spending my time reading, watching movies and playing games. If it weren't for the lack of money thing, it wouldn't be too bad.

I've established a DVD exchange with my nieces, and thanks to them I can now claim to have watched Twilight, Doomsday, Juno, Underworld 3, The Descent and The Complete First Season of The Tudors (which was awesome, despite playing fast and loose with the actual facts). They have gotten to see Neil Marshall's first movie, Dog Soldiers as well as re-watch the first two Underworlds and the complete Blade Trilogy. I got to re-watch the Resident Evil Trilogy. They also loaned me the re-make of The Hitcher (with Sean Bean instead of Rutger Hauer as the homicidal hitchhiker) but I haven't watched that one yet because the first one was so good that I am still wrestling with my expectations.

I am now reading Twilight, which I have been assured is much better than the movie (and honestly, how could it be worse?) and as long as I don't get too nostalgic for all that teen-aged high school angst which used to permeate my workplace, I'll probably wend my way through the quad-logy (which I am also borrowing from my nieces).

It's a Crisis!

A while back I donated to Mercy Corps for their disaster relief efforts. I had heard on the interwebs that they were a reliable charity which got most of the funds they raised to the needy. I haven't been able to afford to "give" lately, but I tolerated their email and mail requests for donations on the chance that I might be able to help out again sometime.

Today I received an email entitled "Confronting a Changing Climate" which included the lefty religious buzzwords "global warming" "carbon footprint" and "sustainable ways" that set off all my alarm bells.

Among the questions they seek to answer: how people in Niger are adapting to desertification, how deforestation affects families in Liberia, and how rising sea levels will impact Indonesia's 12-million-person capital. Their forthcoming reports will inform Mercy Corps' work as we help communities adapt to the predicted effects of global warming.

Run! Run! We're all going to die!

I can't believe that they are not aware that the earth's climate has been changing for millions of years. (Hey, maybe for billions--I wasn't here) Only two decades ago the hysterics were screaming about global cooling--Run! Run! We're all going to die!

I emailed Mercy Corps asking if humans had created the Great Lakes, the Sahara Desert , the Mojave Desert...and to take me off their mailing list because they were never getting another penny from me (especially when I get some pennies) ever again.

So, this has been a public service announcement, in case any of my readers believed, as I did, that Mercy Corps was a reputable charity with its feet firmly on the ground. Bzzzzt! Wrong! Religious whackos, folks. You heard it here first...

Free Ice Cream!

The Great and Powerful Pixy Misa, as part of his Munuvian World Domination Plan, is temporarily offering free (yep, FREE!) blogs to suitable victims beta volunteers. Each blog comes with "at least 1GB of disk space and 10GB of monthly bandwidth, for as long as the user wants to keep it."

Once all the sacrificial beta-spots are filled, ordinary folks will be forced to actually PAY for their new mee.nu blogs.

It just so happens that I have come into possession of 5 (five!) virtual beta keys, each one of which will unlock the magical world of blogging to the lucky few.

Since I expect there will be a stampede to hop onboard the next Big Thing, I will email a key and unintelligible, rudimentary instructions to the first five requesters who can correctly tell me the name of my cat (and provide a valid email address)...

...or just beg. Begging is good.

April Showers Thunderstorms

Just posting to let my loyal reader (Hi Harvey!) know I'm still alive, and it's Spring Break, so I'm working 12-hour days and don't have anything interesting to blog about anyway, except the Supreme Court is stupid--but that's not news...

This just in:

Chaotica's new website is finally up!

Warning: Some of the songs (especially House of Red Tape) use language that may be offensive to more sensitive readers... except for Harvey--he may be sensitive, but he was in the Navy, so it's difficult to shock him....

Down but not out

Munu has been the target of a Denial-of-Service attack, which is why you haven't been able to get your favorite Munuvians to load.

I've been working ridiculous hours, so I didn't even notice until I read some emails about it from Harvey and Pixy Misa.

Keep your fingers crossed that Pixy has it under control....

I might make it until Tuesday...

On my way to work, half way through the weekend....so far, no men in white coats have been called for me! Hurray!

Endurance Test

Well, I'm in for a long weekend--Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday are all work days for me this week, so I expect to be a zombie by the time Tuesday rolls around. However, since the tireder I get, the sillier I get, there may be some interesting blogging ahead, so stay tuned....

Shh! Be Wewy Wewy Quiet!

...Susie is doing her taxes today....

And now our daughter will play for you on the recorder

I'm off today, and I intend to enjoy it by reading, napping, and watching movies (not necessarily in that order). Meanwhile, in case you are desperate for something to read, here's an excerpt from my brother's review of "War of the Worlds":

(Spoiler: he didn't like it too much...)

A million years ago, a far-more-intelligent & superior alien race buried thousands of death machines (huge Tripods) underground, which have remained undiscovered because they were apparently cleverly hidden "in-between" where all municipalities on Earth would ever lay water and sewer lines. Anyway, in 2005, members of this non-specific alien race return in the form of lightning-bolts to pilot the Tripods out of the ground. First, the Tripod monsters announce their presence with an unimaginative, steamboat-like "HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!" Then, they proceed to terrorize curious onlookers who must all be thinking, "Wow, a 900-foot gigantic, scary-thing just erupted out of the ground. I think I will get much closer and see if I can read the Industrial-Light-&-Magic copyright on its leg." The alien machines spend a good part of the movie disintegrating people, and conversely, another part of the movie harvesting people (to use as fuel?). I guess the aliens had no better idea of their purpose than the audience, other than one obvious objective, which was to prevent Tom Cruise from getting his loudmouth daughter to Boston to reunite with her Mommy. Luckily, Mommy happens to be vacationing in the only neighborhood in the entire movie that remains protected from the aliens' widespread destruction. Maybe it is an Historic district.

Status Interruptus

The ten hour day survived, I have the twelve hour day ahead of me next. Stay tuned.

If I can't find the masher I might have to use a mallet

One week until Thanksgiving. It's my job to make the mashed potatoes.

Step one: buy potatoes.

We'll see how that goes......

Nyquil is proof there IS a God...

It's my day off, I have a cold, and I'm going back to bed. Somebody wake me if anything interesting happens....

Beal

Beal.

Sorry.

Word of the day

Malaise.

Katrina

Today is the blogathon for hurricane relief, but I don't feel like dealing with all the links to officially participate. However, I think I'll send my donation to either Samaritan's Purse or the Salvation Army, and if I can spare any more to the Mississippi Chapter of the Red Cross. I also read about an organization called Compassion Alliance that's sending help to the coast.

The scope of this disaster is unbelievable.

Almost (but not quite) as unbelievable is the number of idiotarians blaming Hurricane Katrina on Global warming. Between that and the looters, I've maxed out my disgust levels for the year.

Attention:

I don't feel like blogging today.

You may need to bring your own harness

Believe it or not, I have not forgotten the story I owe bullwinkle--I'm just stuck. My creative engine stalled, and it's type type type...delete delete delete... I have given myself a deadline of the end of this month to either finish it, or post what I have, even though it's at the cliffhanger stage. If the latter happens, you're welcome to not read it until it's done....

Announcement

This is going to be one of those long workdays and since I don't know if I'll have the energy to post anything when I get home, I decided to slap something up on my blog so my loyal readers don't worry about me.

(Um--that was it. Really.)

And now a sponser for some words....

Fellow Munuvian Tiger's novel is available to purchase. If you are not a sci-fi fan, you'll probably want to buy it just to support a fellow blogger--right?

Attention Blog Surfers!

The 10th Karnival of Kidz is up at Prochein Amy's

The latest BestofMe Symphony can be found at The Owner's Manual

And the deadline for the Birthday Bonfire is midnight tonight. Now that the Bonfire has hit the "Terrible Twos" I think we can look forward to bigger tantrums, louder whining and more "time for a nap" posts than ever before!

Pass the Cole Slaw

Happy Memorial Day, everyone. Have a burger for me, as I am headed off to work....

Satisfaction Delayed

I haven't forgotten the story I owe bullwinkle. I've got about a page now. Part of me wants to post it to prove that I can be taken taken my word (I hate it when folks make promises and don't carry them through) but part wants to wait until the whole thing is written (because I hate the torture of waiting for sequels).

Any preferences?

Awwwwww..... (visualize goofy smile here)

The Karnival of Kids can be found here.

Got pictures even cuter than those? Prove it! Post one on your blog and send the link to Karnival.kidz -at- gmail.com....

I'm considering reverse alphabetization

Now that I've got the Alliance blogroll all sorted out, it's time to start working on Spring cleaning here at my home. My various blogrolls are disorganized and slapdash (which, I note in astonishment, is rather like a metaphor for my life) and some contain links to sites that I have not visited in so long that they might just as well be bookmarks (my favorites list has several thousand links in no particular order except for the occasional, random alphabetization that I suspect my browser executed on the sly, few, if any, of which I have ever revisited--especially since I discovered it is so much quicker to type "Amazon.com" in the Google search bar and feel lucky about it). I therefore have decided to winnow out the chaff, and perhaps rearrange things a bit.

That's all. No pressure. I just wanted you all to know.

The Bear is having a contest

to redesign his logo--but that's not important right now. Since I can't seem to reach him via email, I thought I'd try a ping to inquire: How much longer until Alliance maintenance is re-enabled? The backlog is killing me!!!

Fair Warning

Spring Break is over, my final project is almost done--in other words, look for more frequent blogging in the near future!

Also, a Belated Happy Sixth Anniversary to Mr. Bad Example and his Beloved Wife, TNT. Your present is in the mail....

Before I get charged with Blog Neglect....

I'm not deliberately avoiding you, my loyal reader(s). I'm just overwhelmed.

Conundrum

Work. School. I'm dragging. Which I guess is better than being dragged or being "in drag". 'Tho' since I am a woman, and I frequently wear dresses and makeup, that does mean I'm usually in drag? Or would I have to wear men's clothes to qualify? Only, I sometimes wear slacks and a shirt. So is that drag?

I need more coffee.

TGIM*

So the end of semester is hurdling toward me, and thus I have my "final project" hanging over my head while, at the same time, our schools have Spring Break--meaning we'll be open noon to midnight for 9 days straight right when I need to have more time for homework rather than less. Meanwhile, today I get to call all the interviewees who I did not hire and say "Thanks for playing, please try again."

I'm going to toss some Excedrin in my purse. Too bad my bottle of peach schnapps is too big to fit....
-----
*Thank God It's Monday

One Word

Beal.

Progress Interruptus

I'm still working on the story for bullwinkle. I'm up to three paragraphs now. Unfortunately I seem to have CLA (Cerebral Literary Arrest) which, like the dreaded Beal, has no known cure. But I have not forgotten it, nor will I--barring death, dismemberment, or abduction by aliens, I will finish this story!

Just not today.

Finally, some good news!!!!

Normally, St. Paddy's Day is not a gift-giving holiday. Some people send cards in an attempt to keep Hallmark in the black, but most people just wear green and hoist a few in tribute to their inner Irishman.

This year it's different. This year, the blogosphere as a whole has received a terrific gift.

John Collins is back and he's posting again.

Oh, somebody get their flamethrower and crawl into his template--his trackbacks aren't enabled. Thanks.

Statement of Intent

I survived work, and now have one more day to recuperate before my workweek starts Friday. Forecast: Sleep.

It's 50 cent day!

I'm waiting for the electrician to call me to say he is on his way so I can let him into the theater. Once there, I will call my boss and tell him the bad news about the sound in #2. I'm going to have the cashier warn the customers that there might be sound problems, but I still expect to get yelled at because 50¢ Day patrons are much less tolerant of mechanical or other problems than other customers. (I once had a 50¢ customer demand a refund because the seat he was in was uncomfortable! Sheesh, buddy--there are a hundred other empty ones you can try!)

Pray for me.

Fair Warning

Again my work week dawns, and with more hours in store for me than usual due to the arrival of "The Incredibles" at a Dollar Theater near you.

If you haven't heard from me by Tuesday, send inquiries to the the local Mental Health facility. I'll be the one in the padded room, gibbering about Sqwigglies and haunted toilets....

Whoo-Hoo!

We have a winner!!!!!

The Runners-Up:

#3995 David
#3996 Harvey
#3997 Harvey
#3998 GEBIV
#3999 basil

And commenter #4000, winner of the fabulous prize (determined by reader vote):

bullwinkle!!!! Don't worry, bullwinkle--for the sake of your namesake (Rocket J. Squirrel's best friend), I won't "be making him/her into something indecent like a liberal or French or anything like that..."

I guess to a non-blogger, a story is a better prize than linkage afterall...

Anti-Resolutionism

I'm not much of one for "resolving." Usually I either do something or I don't. And I can't recall any New Year's Resolutions that I made in my misspent youth that I ever kept, so I've decided to make a list of things I don't resolve to do in 2005.

I don't resolve to go on a fad diet.
I don't resolve to join a health club so as to exercise excessively.
I don't resolve to quit smoking.
I don't resolve to stop procrastinating on my homework.
I don't resolve to stop flirting with married men.
I don't resolve to stop flirting with single men either.
I don't resolve to spend less money on books.
I don't resolve to spend less time working.
I don't resolve to join Greenpeace.
I don't resolve to contribute to the World Wildlife Fund.
I don't resolve to eat more spinach.

Hmmm...I need one more for an even dozen...

I don't resolve to give up posting stupid quizzes when I have nothing to blog about.

OK! I feel much better now...

Please note:

Today is 50¢ day and I'm working noon-to-midnight, so I expect to be a basket case by 8pm. That may mean some good stories tomorrow, if I survive...

Just step over the anime

Comment Party at Pixy's! Harv, bring the slip-n-slide....

You can hide, but you can't run...

They say you can't keep a good blogger down. Well, apparently the same is true of a bad one.

Yep--Bloviating Inanities has moved to a better neighbohood.

Too bad Munuvia can't provide better content, too...

(I love ya, Bill--welcome back!)

Check under the sofa cushions, too

Supposed to be finishing my final paper for my second-to-last class, so I'm just going to keep my opinions to myself today.

However, if you've got some extra money burning a hole in your pocket, the Spirit of America could use some of it to help out in Iraq. There's the logo in my sidebar you can click on (under "Seasonal Linkage") to donate, and credit will go to The Alliance of Free Blogs in the Blogger Challenge. December 15th is the deadline for donations, so scrape together that pocket change and please give today.

Calling All Munuvians!

Not only are many Munuvians nominated for The Weblog Awards, Munu itself is a nominee, as is our beloved founder, the Reverend Pixy Misa.

So vote, Dang you!

In case you were wondering....

Well, my space bar responds now that I've burrowed under it, but it also now makes a groaning noise when it pops back up. I can't win, can I? Guess I'll either have to stop drinking coffee while surfing, or stop reading David's comments...

I'll probably just buy a new keyboard.

Even better than being the Queen of the Space Unicorns!

I missed posting yesterday, but it's not my fault!!!! I guess munu came back sometime while I was at work, and since it was today when I got home last night, I'd already missed yesterday. There was apparently some problem with monkeys and we'll be moving to a new neighborhood with better animal control this weekend. Stupid monkeys.

Anyway, since I have been acclaimed Supreme Media Goddess by my adoring readers, I promise to use my powers only for good. I will also make Dan Rather dress in sackcloth and ashes and walk barefoot to the White House where he must kiss the feet of Donald Rumsfeld.

I will now go work on the new "Standards and Practices" rules for all news outlets. (Note to self: limit lightning bolt usage in enclosed spaces).

I know a famous person!

As you may or may not know, the charming and always delightful Kevin the Wiz has been given Republican National Convention blogging creds, and thus was profiled by the Wall Street Journal Online. You can keep up with the doings of all the Convention Bloggers at the RNCBloggers Portal.

And the diagnosis is...

...mild beal.

Like running with scissors, only cooler

Thanks to The King Of Fools I discovered The Resplendent Mango and Katie's Eowyn Voter's League. Count me in...

Ladies and Gentlemen, for my 1000th post, I present...

My Favorite Kurt Russell movies of all time (inspired by Jerry's post title) [* means I own it....]

20. Tango & Cash*
19. Dark Blue*
18. Captain Ron
17. The Mean Season
16. The Barefoot Executive
15. Tequila Sunrise*
14. John Carpenter's The Thing
13. Tombstone*
12. The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes
11. Miracle
10. Executive Decision*

Snake Plissken

9. Backdraft*
8. Soldier*
7. Escape from New York*
6. Breakdown*
5. Used Cars*
4. 3000 Miles to Graceland*
3. Stargate*
2. Overboard*

And my number one favorite Kurt Russell movie of all time:

1. Big Trouble in Little China*

Susie van Winkle

I have a little rant that I want to vent, but just about the time my coffee had reinflated my brain sufficiently to warrant usage of that organ, another wave of violent thunderstorms hit [we had a dilly of a series of storms yesterday while I was at work--the lights even flickered a few times and some streets flooded] and I had to turn off the computer. Naturally, I went back to bed so I could listen to the rain battering against the windows and the thunder rumbling like the world's biggest bowling tournament while I snuggled under the covers. Now that the storm has passed and the sun reasserted itself, I have to go to work. So be patient--it'll be worth the wait!

For your reading pleasure

The Bard of Munu presents the Carnival of the Vanities where he praises the prose-proud with his pleasing poetry.

Timeless

Noon to midnight today. IV coffee, stat!

That lawn's not going to mow itself

The good news is, all theaters are up and (basically) running. The bad news is, I have to leave for work in a few minutes, and will be there 'til midnight.

These Bonfire entries just seem to write themselves....

Awed postless...

I just finished reading Bill Whittle's STRENGTH.

Awesome.

Read it, there'll be a quiz later....

Drum roll, please...

The deliciously debauched Harvey of Bad Money is now semi-officially the delightfully depraved Harvey of Bad Example.

Same pervert, better neighborhood....

It's about freakin' time!

The Practical Penumbra Stupid Customer Story Open Results!!!!

The judges (Susie, Paul, Jennifer and Mr. Mouse) have spoken (well, emailed), the grades have been tallied, a complicated mathematical formula was discarded and replaced with a simpler one*, and a unique series of checks and balances was deemed unnecessary to identify the winners!

Honorable Mention to:
Brass, for the Ski Lift story
J Fielek for the Forklift story, and
GEBIV for the Carwash story

Second Place(tie) to:
Ensie for her Dinosaur Picture story and
KGB for the Spanish Translation story

And the WINNER is......

Rob!!! for the Waterpump story.

Now, two of my favorites didn't make the cut, so pity links to Pink Kitty, and LeeAnn--you ladies have my empathy!

Rob has his choice of any of the three prizes, and Ensie and KGB each have their choice of the second and third place prizes...watch for my email, you three!

Thanks to everybody who contributed!!!!!

* Each entry was assigned a letter grade by each of the judges, and the highest GPA was the winner.

OOPS! The entries are here. (Thanks, Harv!)

It's not de ja vu, it's copy and paste

It's the final day for the Spirit of America fund drive!!!!! Check out all the offers below (via John of Augghhh!) who I think got this from Kevin the Wiz (but don't quote me)....

Collectables

How would you like to own a signed copy of this Day by Day© strip?

Click on the strip to go to the auction page. This is a serious
collectors item.
Update: Chris has thrown in this extra for the winner - pick
ANY other single toon from the archive and he'll sign it too.

Cox & Forkum are auctioning off an awesome original artwork with some extra
items.
The True Nature of Reality has the copy of the newspaper where the democratic party
asked for Rumsfeld to be shot.
Chief Wiggles has offered to come to your area and lecture at the location of
your choosing. The Chief is also offering a MINT condition Operation Iraqi
Freedom patch!
Sondra K is offering Limited Edition Campbell's soup cans, issued in celebration of the original Andy Warhol Tomato Soup print. She has also extended her official Baathist
Party notecard auction!

Aspiring (or existing) authors - no matter who
you are or what you write, you need careful editing and an honest evaluation.
Gerard Van der Leun has an amazing auction offer for you: Professional
editing. He's got over 30 years of industry experience, which you can enlist in
finishing off your pet project. Go visit the American
Digest and start bidding; realize your "Great American Novel".
Hugh Hewitt is offering a
you a guest segment on any topic you want (8 minutes) on his syndicated
radio show!!!
She Who Will Be Obeyed - plane ticket!

Citizen Smash is offering dinner dates in San Diego and DC. plus other items here.
Venomous Kate is offering you a 4-course
gourmet dinner and a night of drinks on the Venomous Lanai.
Dorkafork is offering to come to you (if you are in Colorado) and fix you a fancy resturant quality shirmp dinner plus wine. He's also offering to design you a blog logo for $10.
Ken Wheaton is giving away invites to a barbecue at his house
for$20 donors in the NYC Metro area. His barbecue is out of this world
good, so you don't want to miss it.
Sean has Krispy Kreme's for you, now at an even lower price!!!
Marine Corps Mom has biscotti up for your consideration.

Bloggers At Your Service

It's Ask a Blogger Monday! - You ask, Michele answers. I'll be matching her dollar
for dollar, and should a question be addressed to me, I'll answer it there
as well. At last count there are 3 of us matching Michele's dollar per
answer.
If you'd like to help, ask a question or even better offer to match the $1 per answer donation! See all of her answers here.
Sean will wax poetic about Dems or dishonor his love for the Packers by donning Bears, Viking, or Lions gear.
Meryl Yourish is taking a page from Michele's book and offering answers for dollars.
Laurence Simon is offering dollars for cats(actually pictures/post for Carnival of the Cats).
Michele's challenge for lefties, Red Sox fans, and *gasp* Mets fans. Here is a link to all of her payoff posts.
Jim is auctioning a short story for the cause!
The Pudgy Pundit will make a contribution for every trackback to his post
Triticale has updated his Honorverse offer!
Aaron is going to pieces trying to raise money!
e-Claire is still working her two auctions - slogan contest
and photos!
Ilyka Damen is auctioning off poetry, interviews, card reading and $5 "you call its."
Mr. E. Poet will regale you with a special poem dedicated to you.

Matt's amazing blog giveaway.
The Bartender at Madfish Willies is offering a blog remodel.
Pambie is offering a custom graphic to the highest bidder.

Step in to the Wizbang celebrity porn closet, I've got boobies for you!
Da Goddess still has her lingerie/t-shirt offer going, and is also trying to dig into the minds of the Fusileers!
Raging Dave will create your own, personalized gun belt from scratch.
Val Prieto will blog for you
while dressed like a girl for every $30 donation, he'll wear makeup
with that for every $40 donation and if you donate $200, he will shave HIS
legs and post the entire agonizing process.

Jim is offering a smoking hot remix offer.
Dizzy Girl will provide those that donate personalized audio messages.
TacJammer is offering up a Cluebat! A Castle Argghhh! Cluebat,
direct from the Imperial Armory's woodshop and the Armorer's Carpenter! TacJammer is accepting bids as you read!

Look for this symbol for exclusive offers from Team Spirit, where Quantity Is Job #1

>

The Open is Closed!

The Practical Penumbra Stupid Customer Story Open has officially stopped taking entries, and the decision now lies in the hands of our judges....Winners will be announced on Friday, so stay tuned!

The Magical Mystery Makeover

Sometime this weekend munu is getting a makeover* and I won't be able to post, and y' all won't be able to comment for a while. I'd be more specific, but then there'd be no mystery, would there?

*unfortunately it does not appear to involve eyeliner and mascara; it's some kind of geek ritual involving squirrels...

The WR Challenge update

Well, I been busy sending my picture out to wonderful folks who've coughed up a donation to the Spirit of America challenge competition. So far, all the takers have been men! Don't be shy, ladies--I'm fully clothed! Plus, think what an ego boost it will be for you to discover that you are a much prettier blogger than I am! Just email me your donation receipt, showing you contributed through John of Argghhh!'s link, and peace of mind (that you are the fairest of them all!) shall be yours!

(Harv, if this doesn't work, I may have to offer that picture I have of you blogging naked...)

Oh--and if a picture of Susie isn't inducement enough, John of Argghhh! is auctioning (inert)munitions!

Contest Update

We've got prizes!!!! Valuable prizes!!!! For my contest!!!! Yay!!!!!

The winners (should they choose to accept them) will receive:

3rd place Set of Six Greeting Cards

2nd Place Baseball Cap

1st Place Tee Shirt

all of which are emblazoned with the motto of the quintessential bad customer: "The Rules Do Not Apply To Me."

Remember, tell me your best customer service nightmare story in the comments here...
Hurry! Offer ends Tuesday! (Void in the Caymen Islands and Somalia.)

I will taunt you a second time

e-claire and SondraK have a competition going, and they need your help!

Here’s what you gotta do…
Come up with the best taunt you can think of. Anything goes. You’ll only be judged by its quality!

So think of a creative insult that our Marines in Falluja can lob at the "insurgents" and leave 'em in the comments either here or here...

A Call to Arms!! (or Legs, even)

Rally round, my readers!!! Help the Marines win the Peace!

Redirection...

The Bonfire is burning brightly, The Bestofme Symphony is soothing the savage breast, The King of the Blogs has retained his crown (again!) and today is my Friday---Yay!

A Contest!!!!!

Yes, boys and girls, I have decided to have a contest!!!!!! I know that many of my fellow bloggers work in either retail or tech support. And we all know that a surprising number of customers are idiots. May I present:

The Practical Penumbra Stupid Customer Story Open

Just tell your favorite stupid customer story in the comments to this post. You may enter multiple stories, but only one story per comment.
In order to be fair, folks who don't work in customer service are allowed to enter stories of stupid customers they have actually observed in action, but it must be a first-hand account--no hearsay allowed!

The deadine for entries is midnight EST (CDT) April 27, 2004, and winner(s) will be announced April 30th.

The decision of the judges (when I get some) will be final.*

There will be a prize of some sort (when I think of something), as well as valuable linkage to the top three finishers.

*I'm thinking about asking the Reverend Paul of Sanity's Edge, Jennifer of Jennifer's History and Stuff, and Mr. Mouse of Beyond the Black Hole to join me as judges because we all read Bill and thus are experts on stupidity. However, if any of them wishes to be a contestant, they will be excused from judging, and I'll try and find another of Bill's readers to take their place.

UPDATE: All three judges have acepted, and the prize thingie is under development.

I Pledge Allegiance

to John of Argghhh! in his quest to vanquish Michele and Dean!

Wake the neighbors, call the kids

...the Bonfire is up and ready for the marshmallows!

If it's Monday, this must be my blog

The Bestofme Symphony is up at Blogo Slovo (soon to be appearing as a Munuvian rather than a Bogsplotian), and Pixy needs your trash for the Bonfire...

Drumroll please...

Bill Cimino is desperately seeking 327 comments today, so, in the interest of charity to the content-impaired, please drop by and help him out.

Anyway, by overwhelming majority (2 to 0), the gun button wins. Yay!

Most excellent

Ted valiantly battled his flu-induced lethargy to post this week's Bestofme Symphony. There are some great posts, so scamper over now...

Quick Reminder...

...that I am the Hostess for the 16th Bestofme Symphony, and have only received 4 (yes, FOUR!!!) entries!!!!

So, if you have a post that's at least two months old which you believe did not get all the adulation it deserved, send the link to bestofme@jpeacock.net and I'll get it. I need it in my box possession by midnight Eastern Sunday. (That's Sunday night, not Saturday night, in case you were wondering...)

Ok, let's just say 11pm Central time Sunday. And if you can't find anything of your own to promote, dig through the archives of a friend....

Raising the tone of the place

My arena football post can be found here.

Hey, somebody needs to help WindRider reduce the suckage at Bloviating Inanitiies.

All kinds of stuff important information

I'm way behind on my blog announcement obligations. For example, I've been mean to point out that Tiger's given his blog a make-over, and it looks mah-velous! And, as an added bonus, the new look doesn't jump around when you scroll! Yay!

We also have two new Munuvians to aid in Pixy Misa's quest to conquer the blogosphere, Ilyka Damen and Being American in T.O. Yay!

I also was tricked into am slated to be the hostess for the next Bestofme Symphony. If you have a post that's at least two months old which you believe did not get all the adulation it deserved, send the link to bestofme@jpeacock.net and I'll get it. (I don't know how it works, I think gnomes deliver the emails to me when I'm sleeping--you need to ask Jim if they are union gnomes or scabs, because he hired 'em.)

Harvey is a bad boy.

Frank has a new T shirt.

And Bill Whittle has posted. Yay! (If anyone else is reminded of South Park's Underpants Gnomes, please let me know, so I don't feel so left fieldish....)

Enjoy!

The Bestofme Sympony is harmonizing over at Irritable Blog Syndrome.

What's the internet equivalent of a bake sale?

Serenity's broken ankle is going to cost $7244 plus incidentals to fix. Yikes! The bad part is she needs to scrape up 4K before they will even do the surgery!!!!

Here's the link to her PayPal button, in case you just won the lottery and don't know what to do with all that largesse...

Oooooh--that was a close one....

Three have survived the first round of this edition of King of the Blogs. You can learn the identities here....

If I had world enough and time...

Harvey, pervert of renown extraordinare, now has even more questions about the arcane world of film projection. Unfortunately, I have to leave for work in a few minutes.

So, perhaps a post topic for another day, unless the rest of you are too bored....

And the Funniest is...

The results are in!

41% (335 votes)
23% (186 votes)
20% (163 votes)
8% (67 votes)
7% (61 votes)
1% (12 votes)

To see who the winner was, go here.

The time to vote is now...

The contest entries are up at Frank's! Vote! Vote, I say! I worked all weekend on that post, and my typing fingers are little nubs..

Slow boat to the promised land

Well, with only a few minor glitches Munuvia seem to have arrived safely at its new server--just in time for me to head off to work. But at least you can now leave all those comments you've had bottled up all this time...
..or not...

Frank's Funny Contest

I confess--I cheated. Yep, I read the entries for Frank's Super Lucky Happy Fun Permalink Contest Number One II.

Some of them are pretty funny, Frank! It may be closer than you expect....

Insert witty title here

The Bestofme Symphony is up at Yap Away Jay. Enjoy!

Quickie

Die comment spammer, die! 193.191.141.65
and your brother! 216.18.7.59

Today's my 12 hour, and the owner's going to dropping by. Oh joy.

Blog at you tomorrow if I live....

Oh, and Harvey is an evil, evil man.... ;)

PSA

comment spammer: 193.191.141.65

Hear Ye, Hear Ye

Over at King of the Blogs, Nick is accepting applications for the next tournament. Details are here.

Beal Awareness Week

I think it's the dreaded beal again. "Beal," for those who may not be aware, is an illness characterized by having it. It's named after the character Howard Beal in Network, and was discovered by one of my college English Lit professors.

Thus:
Susie: "I can't go to class, I have beal."
Helpful questioner: "What's beal?"
Susie: "It's the reason I can't go to class."

In this case, though, I think beal has struck the blogosphere with a vengeance. I know I have been unable to comment on others' blogs because of it, and I suspect that there was a particularly bad outbreak this past weekend--only a few hardy souls were able to post at all. Unfortunately, there is no known cure for beal. It strikes without warning, usually in winter time, and has no set duration. Research into its cause and treatment are sadly underfunded. In fact, very few people are even aware it exists!

I am therefore declaring this Beal Awareness Week in the blogosphere.

What can you do to help? Sympathize. That's about it. If you stop by a regular read and they haven't posted, just let them know in a comment that you understand: "Sorry about your beal. Hope you get better soon." If you are a sufferer, try to let your readers know: "No post today. Beal." or if you are a reader: "I'd like to comment, but I have beal."

We can get through this epidemic if we all pull together.

This just in....

The Bestofme Symphony is up at Dan K O'Leary's blog, and the King of Blogs for this week has three finalists Where the Hell Was I?, Walloworld and the reigning King, Christweb.

In other news, I'm naked under my clothes (well, nightie)...

BoV

Bonfire of the Vanities is up at Outside the Beltway: the worst of the worst is available for your ridiculing enjoyment...

We interrupt this blog...

...for an important announcement:

Mr. Green has posted!

Let the celebrations begin....

I'm back!!! (sort of)

Yay! I have a computer again! Yay! But I have to leave for work five minutes ago, so I'll be back after midinght.... Yay!!!!

Monday morning assortment

I've been meaning to thank LeeAnn for the inspiration to put my picture on my blog. Ok, other bloggers (like Tiger) have their picture posted, and I think I've even seen a few other who use their baby pictures, but LeeAnn's is just so darned cute! And I needed a little cuteness to counteract accentuate the crispness of the new design...

One of my next few posts will be number six hundred and sixty-six. Ever since I saw "The Omen" that number has freaked me out, kind of the way some people are about the number thirteen. I'm just going to have to console myself with the fact that MT isn't counting all my bogsplot posts, and the actual post of that number is well past and will probably never be known....

The Frankanator hath returned!!!!! And there was much rejoicing, and the people did feed upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp and large....

I've got a post I think I want to send to the Carnival of the Vanities this week, but I can't find out where it's at! (I checked the last one, H&H, and it didn't say). Anybody know?

Check the sitemeter on your way out...

Looks like I'm going to hit 20K today! I guess that's a respectable number of readers for six months' time...

In other news, the Bonfire is out of control this week, just before it goes on the road...

General alert...

I'm zigging when I should be zagging--I think I'm back down to 6 or fewer functional little gray cells...probably not a good day to be operating complicated machinery, like movie projectors... so I think I'll play in my template and see what kind of havoc I am able to wreak in my weakened condition....
or maybe that's not such a good idea...I think I'll drive the car instead...

It's a do-over

at the New Blog Showcase. If you voted last week, make sure your post is still on your front page Sunday night, or repost it. If there was nothing that grabbed your fancy, here's your chance because there are a lot of new entries... I recommend this post for foresight....

Of minimal interest

I managed to find my "50 things about me" post and put a link to it in my sidebar for any new readers who may be curious (or established readers who have poor memories...). Click on the cool mini banner that Jennifer made for me... (hint: it says "About me" under it ;)

Watch out for the raccoons...

Usually when I add someone to the blogroll I don't make too big a deal out of it. After all, dragging out the flamethrower, suiting up in the critter-proof hazmat ensemble and heading into the murky depths of the template to add a link is enough of a chore without blogging about it. However, today I am announcing an addition to my blogroll: The Gray Monk. I don't know how the monk stumbled upon my blog (obviously he took a wrong turn somewhere) but he posted some kind words and a trackback and naturally I had to check him out.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this post is hilarious! Who knew Science could be so drink-alertish? Read. Enjoy. You can all thank me later...

Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye!

My long-time blog friend Norbizness is having a caption contest!

(What's the big deal, I hear you muttering, everybody has caption contests! Ah, but--this one has real prizes!!!!)

Go here and be witty!

Most Egregious Blog...

Has to be Pixy Misa of Ambient Irony!!!!! (Sorry, Jen, sorry Jim, sorry Heather, sorry Daniel and Captain Ed and Jon...)

Please all vote for Ambient Irony in the Most Egregious Omission category at the Weblog Awards! Tell 'em Susie sent you!

Boobies

Now that I have your attention, I want to promote Dana's new organization, Bloggers with Boobies. Membership is open to any blogger of the female gender; all you have to do is put the logo on your site and email Dana that you are proud of your assets!

Since boobies are also of interest to the male gender, Harvey has founded an auxiliary called Supporters of Bloggers with Boobies. They have a logo, too:

Support the Boobies!!!!

Yippie!!!

Evil Commie Thoughtful Fellow Blogger The Commissar has honed his cartography skills even further with this map of Munuvia...

As Spiritual Leader of Munuviana, I formally thank the repulsive generous Commissar for his efforts at chronicling our Glorious Revolution....

Nothing important...

Just a reminder that Sunday's my long day at work. I also have a ton of homework I've been neglecting, and since Monday starts the last week of the semester...

The Forecast: intermittent blogging with chance of comments

Update

The good news---Bear has fixed the link to Psyche's Knot's New Blog Showcase entry....
The bad news--anyone whose vote had linked to the previous URL isn't being counted....

If you had linked to http://www.psychesknot.com, please change your link to http://psychesknot.typepad.com/psyches_knot/2003/11/black_decker_yo.html
in order to be counted...

We interrupt this blog

for an unpaid non-political semi-important announcement....

Madfish Willie's is starting a "send me your posts" LinkLoveFest!

Tales From The
Champagne Room!
[Remember: There is no sex in The Champagne Room!]

Thanks to everyone who have sent him links in the past and he'll be looking
forward to more of your Tales From The Champagne
Room!