March 10, 2009

And the Woe goes on...

I feel like I need some sort of spiffy graphic, like for the Iran Hostage Crisis (yes, that dates me--I remember when Nightline was a Crisis Update Special, not a regular tv show).

Unemployment Benefits Held Hostage: Day 40


So last week I accidentally managed to get through on the telephone to the Unemployment Office (heads will probably roll for that) and found out from the lovely telephone voice that despite assurances from the local office (which I have visited in person three times) that my case was being handled expeditiously, in actual fact no investigation had yet been launched by three-and-a-half weeks from the day the local office told me it would be. The lovely telephone voice therefore assiduously typed in a request for benefits investigation on my behalf. While I had a human on a line, I mentioned that I had documents from the payroll company clearly showing that they had omitted one digit from my ssn, and requested a number where they could be faxed to speed things up.

When I got to the copy shop with my 11 pages and $11.00, the fax number she had provided was "not in service". I can't get through on the phone again to get the correct number. The almost-completely-useless state website (did I tell you that they misspelled the name of the street where the local office is located?) has no fax number listed, only the 800 number that's busy 24/7, and the email address that results in the auto-generated reply saying they are two weeks behind* and to use the 800 number.

Pray for me. Thanks.

*Note: I emailed 5 weeks ago and still haven't gotten anything since the auto-reply.

Posted by Susie at 10:48 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 26, 2009

A Tale of Woe

So, I promised to tell you my tale of woe, and so it shall be. I've never been on the dole before, so I had really no idea how it all works, but my Assistant Manager, Jenny, did a little internet research right after we found out the theater was going to close (the owner called me at home on a Monday to tell me that Thursday would be our last day of operations. Nothing like advance warning, right?). Jenny said we could apply for unemployment online, so Friday morning, bright and early, I tracked down the web site and signed up. Then I waited. I checked the site frequently for progress. I read the "handbook"--which was about as helpful as those instruction you get to put together fake wood furniture, those "instructions" that obviously had originally been written in Korean before being translated into Polish and then into French and then into Swahili and then into English--and waited some more.

After about five days, something happened. I had a "status"! Hurray! It was "suspended". Huh.

I read the handbook again. I checked the site FAQ. No place was there any mention of a status of "suspended". In fact, I found a listing of possible statuses and none of the four were "suspended". Huh. I waited some more. Nothing changed. I tried calling their 800 number to ask for an explanation, but the line was always busy. Always. I tried emailing my question--and got an automated reply saying they were two weeks behind on answering their email, and that I should call their 800 number. Wow! These guys were helpful!

Meanwhile, Jenny had passed her mandatory one-week waiting period, was filing her weekly vouchers online, and had one week's benefits applied to her we'll-mail-it-soon-and-you'll-get-it-in-ten-days Visa Debit card. Huh.

Finally, after calling fruitlessly for the thousandth time, there seemed to be no other option. I would have to go to the unemployment office in person.

(Cue dramatic music). Four cubicles. One person calling numbers to help applicants. Eight people drifting around in the background not calling numbers or helping applicants or doing much of anything, apparently, to earn my tax dollars. If this were a business, it would be out of business.

To sum up, the payroll company that reported my wages to the state had entered my social security number incorrectly for 3 of the 4 quarters of 2008, and thus to their computerized knowledge I had only worked for the first quarter of 2008 and was therefore ineligible for benefits. After driving home to get my W-2s for the last 2 years (and getting to wait to be assisted again) the drone state employee acknowledged that I seemed to have actually worked the whole year, so they would set their "auditors" to "investigating"--which should take about two weeks.

That was two weeks ago. Jenny has gotten her Visa debit card and three(?) payments. I am still "suspended". And they still haven't answered my email.

Posted by Susie at 10:43 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 23, 2009

I'm a statistic

It goes to show how bad the economy is when the Dollar Theater can't make it. Yep, my employment has gone the way of many other businesses--closed down. While folks were still coming to see movies, especially on 50¢ ticket day, there weren't enough of them buying popcorn and drinks to pay our bills (or the higher minimum wage for our 16 & 17 year old employees, none of whom were "trying to support a family" and all of whom now have to find another way to pay for their cell phone bills, poor things). It still galls me that no one will admit that the minimum wage increase is even partly responsible for the economic mess we're in, let alone a big contributing factor. If payroll hadn't gone higher than a 70's rock star, I think we could have weathered the higher costs for transportation and corn and other supplies.

Ah, well. Spilled milk.

Meanwhile, I am now gently cradled in the delicate hands of the government, trying to get the unemployment benefits my employer has been paying on my behalf for the last six years. Seems the payroll company reported my income to the state under someone else's Social Security Number for at least the last year. Lovely.

Wait, there's more. But I think I'll continue my tale of woe another day. It's not nice to depress my readers too much...

Posted by Susie at 02:07 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

December 23, 2008

That was fun---not!

Sigh. It's good to be home again. That Midwest ice storm that hit last Thursday knocked out my power, and it just came back on this afternoon. I've spent the last several nights sleeping on my sister's couch, surrounded by my matched set of Kroger Deluxe Luggage (augmented by a few pieces from Walgreens and CVS-- I didn't use any of the Dollar Store's, because the yellow just clashed) and going "Dang! I forgot my hairbrush! Which bag is the deodorant in? Should I wear the red socks or the white socks with my brown slacks?** Angel, Go Away!" [Angel is my niece's dog who had to check and see who was sleeping on the couch EVERY FIVE MINUTES throughout the night.]

The only good thing was my sister has cable internet and a much newer computer, so on my day off work I got to play a lot of cool games I never could before.

**YOU try packing work clothes in the dark with a flashlight in one hand in a house that got down to 33°F at last check--I bet your socks wouldn't color-coordinate either!

Posted by Susie at 07:44 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 08, 2008

Call Me Cassandra

According to the news, we are in a recession and unemployment is skyrocketing. Oddly enough (she said sarcastically), none of the news I've read has mentioned the Federal increase* in minimum wage as a possible contributing factor....except me--a year and a half ago, when I predicted it.

In this case, it sucks to be right.
______
*For those out of the loop, it went up 35¢ then, another 70¢ this July and will go up again 70¢ next July, so don't expect the recession to end soon...

Posted by Susie at 12:16 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 24, 2008

Idiots!

Got an email from my brother....

Our dept. ordered the new version of "Adobe Acrobat Pro" because the old version we have been using since 2001 won't open .pdf documents saved with the new version. Fine. Except, Adobe sent us an electronic order-receipt to "verify the order before processing", but we couldn't open it because they saved it as the .pdf format of [the] newest version...and we are still using (surprise!) the old version.
IDIOTS!

The stupids they are taking over, I tell you! Taking over!

Posted by Susie at 01:30 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

November 15, 2008

Squish*

Okay, I don't seem to be doing very well at this "go back to blogging every day" thing, do I? I blame temporal displacement. And President Bush (because I can).

*just 'cuz it's such a cool-sounding word

Posted by Susie at 09:42 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

November 04, 2008

I wish the rest were silence...

Well, my civic duty is done, and now I just have to see if the Socialist Party is the winner, or if McCain came out on top. The country survived Carter and it survived Clinton (albeit a little worse for wear) so if Obama (whom my brother calls Obama bin Laden) wins, I'm sure we'll survive that, too--'though maybe a lot worse for wear in that case. Anyway, all that's left now is the gloating or keening from the vociferous left...

Posted by Susie at 11:23 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

November 02, 2008

Randomness

The other day I bumped into a high school classmate of mine who told me that another classmate had died suddenly a few weeks ago. That really blew me away, because he was not only a guy I took a lot of classes with, but also one with whom I had made out in the back seat of a car...the odd thing is, even though I hadn't thought about him in years, I had a dream about him a couple weeks back. There must be some unconscious psychic veil I tapped into.

Posted by Susie at 12:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 01, 2008

Inconceivable

So I had a crappy day yesterday, mostly because my day started out with a shocking disappointment. I had a craving for Cheesy Tots, and so decided to stop at Burger King for some on my way into work. Imagine my anguish when I got to the restaurant a block from my house and found it closed. Closed! As in, "Out of Business." Even the sign was gone! There was just an empty skeleton where the giant hamburger used to be. I had just driven past it Wednesday on my way to and from work, and on Friday it was abandoned. WTF?

I knew the economy was bad--half the stores in our strip mall have gone out of business in the last few months, even ones that had been there for 10 or 20 years. There's one whole section where you can see on the facade where four or five neon name signs have been removed. But Burger King? And one right on "restaurant row" with the Rally's and Arby's and Pizza Hut etc.?

Since I already had my blinker on I pulled into the KFC next door and got a Toasted Wrap. It was good, but it was no Cheesy Tots.

(I was going to add a link to Burger King's Cheesy Tots info, but their graphics-intensive site crashed both my Firefox and IE browsers. Swine.)

Posted by Susie at 12:54 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

February 19, 2008

Gotcha!

Last night after all the shows had started I noticed someone taking pictures in our parking lot. Upon investigation I discovered it was a uniformed man photographing a car in one of our handicappped spaces. A little while later there was a ticket on their windshield.

I often get annoyed when I go shopping and the eight or ten closest places are designated handicapped and I have to park far away, even though more than half of the restricted ones are always empty. But at the theater we only have 2, and they are almost always taken--by vehicles with handicapped plates--so it was nice to see a scofflaw get caught.

I think four is the correct number of handicapped parking spaces for businesses in a city the size of mine.

Posted by Susie at 07:43 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 11, 2007

Everything Old is New Again

Judging by the ice storms in the Midwest, I think it's time for the professional alarmists to start up again with the whole "Global Cooling" thing that was so big in the 70's...

Posted by Susie at 11:22 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

October 29, 2007

Words Mean Things II

I've always been disturbed to note that when the MSM reports on fanatical communists in China, Islamocentric regimes in Iran, or longing-for-the- Glory-Days-of-Stalin politicians in Russia, they refer to these extremists as "right wing." Now, here in America, Commies and Pinkos and ultra-religious environmental whack-jobs are the left-wing. Doesn't that just make your head spin in a whole "Linda Blair in the Exorcist" kind of way? That a "conservative" American politician and a "conservative" Iranian politician are polar opposites?

That's why I've decided to stop calling myself a Conservative Republican. From now on, I am a stalwart member of the Sensible Party (as opposed to the Silly Party).

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming...

Posted by Susie at 02:42 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 26, 2007

All fired up

So I still hurt, and I still have trouble concentrating, and I'm still hanging out at the PuppyBlender's. But, Harvey got another Instalanche, although it was at IMAO again. After you read what he wrote, make sure you read the comments--they're frickin' hilarious!

Posted by Susie at 03:12 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 22, 2007

Words Mean Things

I remember now why I cut back on the blog-surfing. It makes me mad that there is so much stupidity in the world! (I get enough of that at work on a daily basis).

This (found here) really annoys me:

I hate conservatives
Posted by Dee on Oct 04, 2007
Conservatives are all of the mentally ill people in society. It's not what they claim to believe that makes them so bad, it's the fact that they believe the same things, like in lock step, that makes them so bad. They love to perseverate about black people, ad nauseum and point fingers, endlessly. While the rest of us are trying to make a living, dealing with real life and putting up with daily hassles, conservatives are narcissist who have answers for everyone, on everything at every level. They really need to get over themselves. I am not a liberal but definitely not mentally ill enough to be a conservative.

Oh, "Dee," where do I begin? It's blatantly obvious that not only has the American education system failed you abysmally, but your spell-checker is on the blink as well. What the deuce is "perseverate" anyway? But I get ahead of myself.

"Conservatives are all of the mentally ill people in society." This first statement alone is amazing to me. Not "I think conservatives are mentally ill" or "I think you have to be mentally ill to be a Conservative." Nope. Declarative statement: Conservatives are all of the mentally ill people in society. All of the mentally ill (in society--as opposed to locked-up, I guess) are Conservatives. There is not a single Progressive, Libertarian, Socialist, Liberal or Vegan suffering from neurosis, psychosis, depression or anxiety wandering around at large. If you have a mental illness, as opposed to a physical one, you are a Conservative. Think of the Hollywood elite, with their eating disorders, kleptomania, OCD and social phobias--all Conservatives!

"It's not what they claim to believe that makes them so bad, it's the fact that they believe the same things, like in lock step, that makes them so bad."
Wow! Who knew it was so terrible to believe that freedom and democracy are a good thing? And who knew it was so terrible to believe the same thing as someone else? I guess it's time to stop believing that if I knock a pencil on the floor it will fall, since apparently it's "bad" for Conservatives to all believe in gravity.

"They love to perseverate about black people, ad nauseum and point fingers, endlessly." ????????
Let me reiterate: ????????

"While the rest of us are trying to make a living, dealing with real life and putting up with daily hassles, conservatives are narcissist who have answers for everyone, on everything at every level. They really need to get over themselves." Conservatives apparently (like Ted Kennedy and John Kerry) don't have to earn a living because they were all born or married into money. They don't have a "real" life, and (like Ted Kennedy and John Kerry) pay someone else to handle their hassles. They also, it seems, want to run everyone else's life for them, telling them how much of their own money they can keep, what attitudes they are allowed to have, what beliefs they are allowed to hold, and what is the "correct" orthodoxy for women and minorities to espouse.

Silly me. For a minute there I thought I was describing liberal Democrats...

"I am not a liberal but definitely not mentally ill enough to be a conservative."

Honey, you sound exactly like a liberal to me...

Posted by Susie at 11:51 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

October 20, 2007

This makes me think of Ted

35%

JustSayHi

Found here

Posted by Susie at 06:48 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 07, 2007

Proper language begins at home

Overheard in the grocery store: "Go ax your mom if we need it."

Is this verbal dyslexia? Pronouncing the word a-k-s instead of a-s-k?

Can we do anything about it before this man's kids pass it on to their kids?

Posted by Susie at 01:13 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

July 24, 2007

Can you say "Recession"?

Minimum wage goes up today, but since I don't make minimum wage, I don't get a raise. Meanwhile, prices are going up all over to make up for the wage increase, cutting my disposable income. I will be shopping less, making it more difficult for some places to pay their employees the new, higher rate. Prices will have to go up even more to make payroll, and employee hours will be cut. Customer service will suffer, and more sales will be lost. Some businesses will close, and others won't be hiring.

In the meantime, millionaires who have been elected to Congress for one term get pensions and health care for the rest of their lives.

What's wrong with this picture?

Posted by Susie at 09:57 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

July 08, 2007

I wonder when they will run out of colors?

They think I haven't noticed, but I'm on to them. One or two could be a coincidence, but five at a time? Up to eight in one day? You're going to have to get up a lot earlier in the morning to fool me....

First, it was the metallic pumpkin. Not only parked in front of the theater, but throughout the mall's parking lot. When I pointed it out to the employees, they quickly spray-painted all their surveillance vehicles a metallic olive drab. But they caught on quickly that I wasn't fooled, and so yesterday the champagne-gold brigade replaced the olive drab cars.

They made a big mistake, using three minivans at once. What are the odds of three champagne-gold minivan owners all coming to see a movie at the same time? Particularly telling was the fact that there wasn't a single orange or green vehicle in sight...

I still haven't figured out who they are, or why they seem obsessed with painting their cars the colors of '70s kitchen appliances, but when I do, I'll publish the answer here for the world to read...

In the meantime, I expect to be seeing a lot of shiny banana yellow vans and trucks...

Posted by Susie at 11:04 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

July 03, 2007

No tiaras for my Shoyru

I think I've mentioned a couple of times that I play Neopets. I have been for almost seven years now. A couple years back they sold out to Viacom, and things have changed a bit.

Now it's getting really weird. I can now, if I choose, use real money to purchase fake money, and then use that fake money to buy clothes for my Neopets. Ok, I suppose I can see that, in a warped kind of way. But the kicker is, the clothes and accessories you buy with the fake money (that you purchased with real money) expire. So if I spend $10 hard cash to get 1000 NeoCash, which I then use to buy dresses and shoes and tiaras for my pets, in 90 days all that stuff just goes *poof!* and my pet is naked again (and I'm out 3 gallons of gas, or 10 McDonald's double cheeseburgers, or a six-pack of good beer).

Ok, I guess it can be compared to edible underwear--but at least the latter has slightly greater recreational value, and doesn't disappear automatically...

Posted by Susie at 11:21 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

June 24, 2007

I've got a million of 'em

One of the movies we were showing was Vacancy, and a woman came up to the box office to ask if we were going out of business since the building was for rent.

Posted by Susie at 10:09 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

June 20, 2007

Oh...My...Gawd....

I was just wandering around imdb to look up cast members for our movie line recording of next week's shows and I found out they've re-made Halloween.

Are you kidding me? That's like doing a re-make of Citizen Kane or Gone with the Wind!

What's wrong with these Hollywood bozos?

Posted by Susie at 09:11 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

June 11, 2007

As a public service...

...spammer ip addresses:

67.188.8.251
81.177.3.98

Posted by Susie at 06:16 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

May 17, 2007

And I couldn't find room for Underworld or Down Periscope *Updated*

The Evil Harvey of Bad Example tagged me with a movie-related quiz-thing. The deal is, I'm supposed to pick ten of my favorite movies (only 10!) and look them up at imdb, find the plot key words, and give my readers those as their only clue as to which movies I've picked as my favorites today.

For example, if I listed

/Wilhelm Scream
/Good versus Evil
/Skinhead
/Generation X
/Visceral

you would quickly recognize that as a description for "Sin City", right? (Hey, I didn't make up this game or the stupid key words, I'm just a random tagging victim here, ok?)

So,
#1/Performance Artist
/Head in Toilet (that's the giveaway, folks!)
/1990s
/ Foot Fetish
/Female Nudity

#2/Family
/Mental Illness
/Dysfunctional Family
/Yuppie
/Doctor Patient Relationship (this one's a tiny bit of help)

#3/Witness Protection
/Gangster
/Humor
/Mafia
/FBI Agent (sheesh--I can think of five movies these would fit!)

#4/Wristwatch (what? ignore this one and you might get it)
/Solar Power
/Train
/Vintage Car
/Cave Painting

#5/Alien Fugitive (with clue #4, a piece of cake!)
/Teenage Girl
/Little Girl
/Disney Animated Feature
/Alien Contact

#6/Axe
/Backpacker
/Blood
/British Army (this is the only one that might help--but considering the other clues, probably not much)
/Bullet

#7/Pennsylvania (finally! an easy one!)
/Broadway Musical
/Fourth Of July
/Benjamin Franklin
/American Revolution

#8/Post It (I think they meant "memo"!)
/Cult Comedy
/Hypnosis
/Kung Fu
/Arson

#9/Farce
/Theater
/Des Moines Iowa (useless!)
/Iowa (ditto!)
/Backstage

Drum roll, please---the worst key words of all for
#10/Shot In The Face
/Gagged And Bound
/Hit By Car
/Mass Murder
/Bow And Arrow

Whoever came up with these key words probably never even saw most of these movies...

So, I'll give you a couple of days to mull them over--or, you can beg for mercy in the comments and I'll cave....

Oh, and I'm not tagging anybody! So there!

UPDATE: I've decided to add key words of my own, to help with the more obscure ones. Check the extended entry for more clues...

#1 Bowling / Ferret / Nihilists / Severed Toe / Pornography
#2 Baby Steps / Goldfish / Freud / Symptoms / Death Therapy
#3 Buddy Comedy / Crime Wave / Little League / Hijacking
#4 Desert / Epidemic / Confederate Coins
#6 Highlands/ Forest / Remote Community / Werewolves
#9 Doors and Sardines / Tax Demand / Burglar / Mistaken Identity
#10 Las Vegas / Robbery / Elvis / Double-Cross

Posted by Susie at 11:28 PM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

April 30, 2007

Huh?

I just got my license plate renewal bill in the mail. I'm supposed to send my check to 309 West South Street.

I wonder if that's anywhere near East North Street....

Posted by Susie at 03:00 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 15, 2007

Wow! I May Have Already Won!

This is so cool!

Msn announces you as one of the 10 lucky winners in the ongoing Msn Lottery Draw held on the 9th of April, 2007.

All 10 winning email addresses were randomly selected from a batch of 50,000,000 international emails each from Canada , Australia , United States , Asia, Europe, Middle East, Africa and Oceania as part of our international promotions program which is conducted annually, consequently, you have been approved for a total pay out of 400,000.00 GBP (FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND GREAT BRITISH POUNDS STERLING ).

This Lottery was promoted and sponsored by a conglomerate of some multinational companies as part of their social responsibility to the citizens in the communities where they have operational base.

Further more your details(e-mail address) falls within our British representative office in United Kingdom , as indicated in your play coupon and your prize of 400,000.00 GBP will be released to you from this regional branch office in UK.

HOW TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE

These are your identification numbers:-

Batch number: Lwh 09445
Lotto number: Lwh 09446
Winning number: Lwh 09447

Msn's Agent for Notice of claims of copyright or other intellectual property infringement can be reached as follows:

Fiduciary Agent: Maria Atkinson
Email: fiduciary1@msn.com

You are to send the completed verification form below to our Agent in the United Kingdom whose email address is given above so that you will be advised on what to do to get your prize money. Congratulations once more!!

1. FULL NAME
2. COUNTRY OF ORIGIN
3. PRESENT ADDRESS.
4. DATE OF BIRTH
5. OCCUPATION
6. TELEPHONE NUMBER
6. FAX NUMBER (IF ANY)
7. MARITAL STATUS
8. WINNING NUMBER, BATCH NUMBER AND LOTTO NUMBER.

For security reasons, we advice all winners to keep this information confidential from the public until your claim is processed and your prize released to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted taking advantage of this programme by non-selected winner or unofficial personnel.

Yours Sincerely,


Dr. Williams Gerri
Lottery Co-ordinator
The msn.com staff
Msn.com http://www.msn.com



I have a question, though...since Great Bristish Pounds Sterling sounds like a breed of dog, how big of a kennel run will I need for 400,000 of them?

(The cool, authentic-looking MSN logos, and the photo of Dr. Gerri, were too much trouble to copy, save and upload).


P.S. I'm trusting everybody not to steal my claim numbers...

Posted by Susie at 10:27 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 25, 2007

Attention, Googlers...

I saw this at Harvey's and I had to jump on the Bandwagon...

The following is a list from the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinal of those arrested when an Army recruiting station was vandalized on March 19, 2007:

Kelsey M. Kazik, 20, Milwaukee;
Sara Keiza, 17, Milwaukee;
Jillian Duckwitz, 21, Milwaukee;
Richard A. Ketcham, 22, Milwaukee;
Amy M. Barger, 19, West Bend;
Jessica L. Brooks, 18, West Bend;
Craig R. Barringer, 20, Waukesha;
Jonathon W. Wilson, 17, Wauwatosa;
David W. Clerkin, 21, Madison;
Derek W. Johnson, 17, West Bend;
Nathan J. Bartelt, 20, West Bend;
Thomas P. Buckholt, 17, Milwaukee;
Jeffrey G. Lavato, 18, West Bend;
Andrew L. Ortlieb, 24, Milwaukee;
Kathryn E. Jacobs, 20, Milwaukee

Unless you're applying to Greenpeace, kids, I don't recommend that you include this "hobby" on your resume...

Posted by Susie at 11:37 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

March 24, 2007

Norman Vincent Who?

The other day I had the agonizing experience of watching the movie The Secret.

There's a couple of hours of my life I'll never get back.

It's not that I have anything against persuading people to think positively. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, after all. It's just that the film was so darn annoying! It seems to be aimed at the people who think The Da Vinci Code was a documentary, or that Oliver Stone needs to be a little more paranoid. The main theme seemed to be that there is a vast conspiracy to keep the Average Joe from finding out that having a bad attitude can cause you to have a bad day, and if you have a positive outlook, you will be more likely to notice the good things around you.

Of course, the "experts" who testified (including authors, philosophers, a professional "visionary" and--my personal favorite--a feng shui artist) all seemed to be of the opinion that if you wish for something hard enough, you'll get it, whether it's more money or more bills; that you "attract" good or bad to your life through some kind of quantum mechanical effect. As an example, they showed a man all worried about his bike being stolen, and carefully chaining it up. What happens? Oh, my! His bike is stolen! Didn't see that one coming... Interestingly, they did not dramatize what would have happened had he just parked it without chaining it...hmm...

Another dramatization showed someone worried about being late for work, and how traffic and "the universe" conspired to make that come true. A little while later, however, we were advised not to expect immediate results when concentrating on attracting money, love and success. I guess there is a time-delay built into good things, while the bad things are immediately available to those who imagine them.

There was one good thing that came out of watching this movie--I learned that there are professional "visionaries."

Yep--that's what I've decided I want to be when I grow up. I wonder what it pays?

Posted by Susie at 10:54 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

March 06, 2007

What were they smoking?

My city's new Smoking Ban ordinance defines "smoking" as the burning of any
"combustible substance in any manner or in any form."

It is an awful shame that restaurant patrons will no longer be able to enjoy a
candlelight dinner, a cozy fireplace, or even flame-cooked meal when the ban
takes effect June 1st...

Posted by Susie at 08:58 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

January 22, 2007

Too true to be funny....

cost cutting.jpg

This is pretty much how the owner is handling the rising costs that came as a result of Ohio's minimum wage increase. Just call me Dilbert....

Posted by Susie at 01:48 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

December 11, 2006

I didn't see a rifle rack

On my way to work today I saw something I never even suspected existed--a Cadillac pick-up truck. I laughed all the way to the theater.

What is the target demographic, do you think? Red-neck pimps?

Posted by Susie at 10:48 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

March 04, 2006

Maybe the inside was in a different dimension?

One of my brothers accidentally stumbled upon one of those wacky conspiracy theory websites, and has been sharing some of the juicier revelations with me. In among the various "proofs" that Bush is Hitler (and plans to establish Satan as the head of the new world government) was a stunning religious insight: Noah had instant messaging!

When Noah built his ark, there were over 300 million people living on the earth. Only Noah and his family, only 8 people, were convinced that the world was going to experience a tremendous judgment from God. Over 300 million people scornfully rejected Noah's warnings.

As my brother put it:

Q: How did Noah possibly notify and subsequently get a rejection ("No thanks, guy, we'll stick it out") from 300 million people?

What if they all believed him? Could the Ark even hold 300 million sinners?

Tomorrow's Theological Poser: Can God make a rock so big that He can't lift it?

Posted by Susie at 10:50 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

February 12, 2006

Collective Soul

There's a story on my news homepage today about a "compulsive hoarder," and, surprisingly, I wasn't the subject of the story. I don't feel the compulsion to hoard everything, though. There are, however, some things I have a really hard time throwing away--like the blank half of a used piece of copy paper. Let's call that recycling, ok? Even if I never do jot a grocery list on it, it still might come in handy some day, right?

I suppose there's a thin line between hoarding and recycling. If you keep old newspapers to wrap china in, and then actually wrap some china, then that's recycling. If you keep them because someday you may get some china that might need wrapping, I would consider that hoarding.

So I'm not really a compulsive hoarder (despite the slightly crinkled aluminum foil stack in the kitchen cabinet). I am a compulsive collector. Honestly, does one woman really need fifty-some automatic pencils in one house? Okay, now, maybe FIVE---um, per room ... well, per table maybe. . . . You see how insidiously it starts? Because as soon as a couple of those pencils wander off to hide under a magazine or roll under the couch they obviously need to be replaced, right? And when the store is out of Papermate and you have to buy Bic (or, God forbid, an Off Brand), then it's only logical that the next time you see some Papermate (Sharpwriter, available in 2-packs, 5-packs and the convenient box of a dozen either yellow or assorted colors) you have to buy some of those to make up for it, and then you find the Lost Pencils, and before you know it, you have a year's worth of retractable lead pencils, not to mention a drawer full of lead-less plastic tubes with perfectly good erasers on the end, and you would stop buying more, but that's a sale price too good to pass up...

Hi. My name's Susie, and I'm a pencil-holic.

Those pads of Post-it notes? Um--well, I have all these pencils...

Posted by Susie at 09:59 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

February 11, 2006

The Answer to the Ultimate Question

is provided for us by the Great Australian Philosopher, Pixy Misa:

You can press escape all you like, but it won't do anything if the keyboard's not plugged in.

I am taking these as my Customer Service Words to Live By.... and maybe put on some tee shirts...

Posted by Susie at 12:32 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

January 10, 2006

Today's Cookie Fortune and Travel Outlook

I've got a head cold, which is making me feel all whiny and petulant. I think I'm having a mid-life crisis, too. Menopause and osteoporosis are just around the next decade or two, and I've never been to Hawaii. I do, however, know what Moo Goo Gai Pan is, so I guess with age comes food, rather than travel.

You have at your command the wisdom of the ages.

That reminds me--I have library books that are overdue....

Posted by Susie at 07:30 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 21, 2005

If you can't say anything nice about someone, use a quote from somebody else

Since I can't think of anything to blog about myself, I will share this insight my brother emailed:

Mayor Nagin says he's "better prepared" for Rita than he was for Katrina.

It must be because this time there's been a couple days warning...whereas three weeks ago no hurricane forecasting technology existed.

What a dolt.


Posted by Susie at 10:45 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

September 13, 2005

Somebody's behind on the vig...

I just read that "the mayor [of New Orleans] warned that the city is broke, unable to make its next payroll."

Um--how does a city manage to go broke in two weeks? It's not like a city gets a paycheck twice a month, and is now unemployed due to the hurricane. Cities use their tax income to operate. Tax income flows into a city's coffers on an annual or quarterly basis.

I could see New Orleans having a tax shortfall a couple months down the road, when the next quarter's tax installments don't get paid to the county or the state or whoever collects them in Louisana, but unless the Big Easy operates entirely on a weekly head tax, somebody is mismanaging funds.

Must've been President Bush....

Posted by Susie at 08:26 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

September 03, 2005

Picking the correct person to stone

Looks like I'm not the only one that thinks the reason New Orleans honchos are throwing stones at the Feds is because they are the ones who blew it. Check out these posts at Junk Yard Blog.

UPDATE: bullwinkle has photos of New Orleans Water Taxis

[...see how I am? ;)]

Posted by Susie at 12:55 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 12, 2005

Support the Troops--Not!

I really don't get the "logic" of folks who say they support our troops, yet in the next breath perpetuate the propaganda that our soldiers are wantonly raping, torturing and killing innocent civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan. I don't support any troops, American or otherwise, who commit those kinds of atrocities, and I don't know of a single conservative or moderate who does, either.

To the anti-war folks, though, there doesn't seem to be any incongruity there. When Harvey posted a very thoughtful response to an anyone-but-Bush type's wondering about an endpoint to the war in Iraq, he garnered this comment from Mountain Girl: "We will continue to create this vicious cycle until we withdraw!"

I think the link was meant to lead here, to a "letter" posted on a soldier's blog that Mountain Girl seems to have no quarrel with. This "letter" (which is essentially an attempt to justify the London bombings) says things such as:

What do you call what happened in the prisons in Iraq – in Abu Ghraib, Camp Bucca and the many other prison camps? What do you call the torture of men, women, and children? What do you call tying bombs to the bodies of prisoners and blowing them apart? What do you call the refinement of methods of torture for use on Iraqi prisoners – such as pulling off limbs, gouging out eyes, putting out cigarettes on their skin, and using cigarette lighters to set fire to the hair on their heads? Does the word “barbaric” adequately describe the behavior of your troops in Iraq?

Mountain Girl does not dispute any of these allegations that US and British troops in Iraq are behaving surprisingly like Saddam Hussein's forces. In fact, in the comments to her own post she states:

I too support our troops. It is not a question of loyalty to the troops. The troops are pawns in this game. They must do what they are told or face life-long consequences. I hope that we can break this cycle of attack and be attacked. We are perpetuating terrorism, in my opinion, by occupying Iraq.

I do not understand why so many on the left are unable to see the fundamental paradox--I am tempted to call it hypocrisy, but I suspect that may be too harsh--in their statements of support for troops who they believe are torturing, maiming and killing innocent bystanders. The old "I was just obeying orders" didn't cut it at Nuremberg, and it doesn't cut it today.

Any American military personnel who gouge out prisoners' eyes or pull off their limbs should be summarily court marshaled, not "supported" by Mountain Girl and her ilk. I do not and never will support those kinds of troops.

I'm pretty sure our troops don't support them either.

Posted by Susie at 07:29 PM | Comments (12) | TrackBack

July 01, 2005

Blogging on Deadline

I only have half an hour to come up with something scathingly brilliant and wildly entertaining before I have to leave for work.

On the other hand, if my readers wanted brilliant and entertaining they'd go here or here.

(I just noticed that Munu's chief code-wrangler and spam-basher is near the bottom of Munuvia's "most linked" list--164 out of 167--so I thought I'd try and give Pixy a boost in the ecosystem with some blatent link-doping. Hey, it's "something," right? Besides, he fixed my RSS when I didn't even know it was broken!)

P.S. Happy Blogiversary Jen!

Posted by Susie at 09:09 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 12, 2005

Prognostication

Today will be my third pantie-free work day, and I'm running out of outfits I can wear without traumatizing the children...I foresee Cheer® and Snuggle® in my near future....

Posted by Susie at 11:39 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

June 10, 2005

Etymology 101

So now I am up at a ridiculously early hour because I went to bed at a ridiculously early hour last night. At least I didn't accomplish anything important yesterday. Unfortunately, that means I'm going to have to find something I can wear to work without underwear since no laundry got done. Does anyone know where the phrase "going commando" came from, anyway?

Posted by Susie at 06:45 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

June 01, 2005

Now Trolls are Spammers, too!

Got this email this morning:

From: "Daniel Johnston"
To: GevKaffeeGal
Subject: This goes double for you.
Date: Wed, 1 Jun 2005 06:18:02 +0000

Hi, I thought I would tell you a couples of ways to really be patriotic.
How about asking our government to strengthen enviromental laws. How about asking Bush to supply our troops with body armor instead of huge kickbacks for Haliburton. How about questioning our leaders about the Iraq War instead of blindly accepting everything you hear on the corperate media. You're mindless nationalism is a very dangerous thing today James. You're site is'nt patriotic, it's fluff that you'll hear on Fox News and every other mainstream media outlet. When you don't fight to make things better than you're the one betraying this country.

USA rules! Peace

By the way, looking at you're site, it looks like you're the one who is a
whiny bitch.

Now go beat off like the whiny bitch who runs anti anti-flag did.


Ah, where do I start? First: Thank you, Daniel, for giving me something to blog about! Next, let me make a few general remarks regarding basic composition. Ordinarily, one marks questions by the use of a lovely little piece of punctuation called, interestingly, the question mark. Also, when using the apostrophe, remember that its purpose is to delineate missing sounds or letters. Did you really mean "You are mindless nationalism is a very dangerous thing today James. You are site is'nt [sic] patriotic..."? These basic punctuation errors make your (not you're) writing a little difficult to comprehend.

Now, as to content. While it is quite acceptable to address an individual directly, Daniel, it is only polite to get their name right. My name is "Susie," not "James." Further, it would aid rational discussion if you were to make reference to the specific post or posts with which you find fault. For example, you could begin your missive by saying "In your May 30th post you asked your readers to perpetuate the genocide of our bovine brothers, and I thought I would give you some unsolicited grief about carnivorism without providing any factual basis for my objections. Oh, and you are a whiny bitch." Because your statements have no context, they sound remarkably like the mindless screeching from the Democratic Underground (blah blah Haliburton blah blah Chimpy is Hitler blah blah blah).

Furthermore, you make the unwarranted assumption that I watch television (or other "corperate" media) and quote it verbatim (blah blah Fox News blah blah blah) and post their "fluff." I'll have you know that I only post my own fluff, thank you very much! And I do not recall, although I could be mistaken, any of my fluff involving the definition of or soliciting suggestions for "a couples [sic] of ways to really be patriotic."

Now, a patriot is "One who loves, supports, and defends one's country." So to be really patriotic, you suggest strengthening "enviromental" laws? I guess I missed the memo that explains how the Spotted Owl is our last bastion of defense again Canadian agression....

Daniel, I do agree that our troops should have the best equipment of any nation in the world. But I also seem to recall that it is Congress that provides funding for our national defense, and that the government contract with Haliburton dates to the Clinton administration--but why should you let facts cloud your opinions (blah blah Chimpy McHitler blah blah Conspiracy blah blah blah)?

One last grammatical note, concerning the usage of "than" and "then". "Than" is used comparatively, as in "Your email is less than persuasive." "Then" is used consequentially, as in "When you email Susie without double-checking your grammar, then you get your writing fisked."

Posted by Susie at 08:18 AM | Comments (7)

February 09, 2005

Sign me up

Dude! I want a farm subsidy! I have a six-foot square patch of land that hosts tomatos and peppers in the summer, and since I'm not making a profit off of those veggies it's obvious I need a government hand-out...

Posted by Susie at 12:17 PM | Comments (5)

February 04, 2005

I think I'm turning Japanese

I saw this at Lee Ann's who got it from Jim.

Now, before you check the extended entry, I want you to keep in mind that my ancestors came to America from Germany, England, Ireland and Prussia. You can judge the accuracy of the rest of their "analysis" based on the accuracy of their racial profiling....

faceanalyzer.jpg

UPDATE: Having analyzed most of my siblings and several nieces and nephews I can categorically state that this thing is pure hogwash. Our "race" has been identified as East Indian, Middle Eastern, Southern European, South East Asian and Korean/Japanese. In fact, the only one who got the correct racial mix of Eastern European and Anglo-Saxon was my blond niece (although my red-headed niece was determined to be 100% Chinese!). As to Gay Factor, well, the lowest rating there for my entire family went to my gay brother. I will have to tell him that the rest of the family is gayer than he is....but he probably knew that anyway....

Posted by Susie at 09:59 AM | Comments (5)

February 01, 2005

Harvey Tagged Me--Now What????

There's some music thing going around and because Harvey wasn't practicing safe blogging he passed it on to me. I hate playing games without knowing the rules! Oh, well--I am a good sport, you know.

Random Ten Albums So like nobody explained this to me...a random list of ten albums I own? A random list of albums I've heard of? A list of random albums I wish I owned? Can I list CDs and cassettes or do they have to be albums?

Okay, here is a list of albums I remember I owned in the days of record players:

Toys in the Attic (Aerosmith)
Chicago Transit Authority (Chicago)
Santana's Greatest Hits (Santana)
Best of the Doobies (Doobie Brothers)
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Beatles)
Pieces of Eight (Styx)
Out of the Blue (Electric Light Orchestra)
Destroyer (Kiss)
Works Volume I (Emerson Lake and Palmer)
Hotel California (The Eagles)

Some of those I also have on CD. Some I outgrew.

1. What is the total amount of music files on your computer? I have 14 mp3s. I didn't count the .wavs, since one game alone had a gazillion.

2. The last CD you bought is: George Thorogood & the Destroyers 30 Years of Rock

3. What is the song you last listened to before this message: (Grumbles. Goes over to CD player to find case for The Brian Setzer Orchestra and find title to last song on disc.) "As Long As I'm Singin'".

4: Five songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you:
Bad to the Bone--George Thorogood & the Destroyers
The Immigrant Song--Led Zeppelin
Fortress Around Your Heart--Sting
Pressure--Billy Joel
The Devil Went Down to Georgia--The Charlie Daniels Band

5. Who are you gonna pass this stick to (five persons and why)?

I hate chain letters. I tear 'em up and throw 'em away. But since these folks will only know I picked 'em to play if they actually read this post, maybe they won't be annoyed with me. Or maybe they will. Um, anyway...

Tiger, because he doesn't get nearly enough linky love from me these days
Jennifer, to give her a break from the History 'n Stuff
Ted, because unless Ted plays, nobody has any fun
Tuning Spork, for something to do when he's got nuthin'
And finally, the Great and Powerful Pixy Misa, just to see if even he can determine the total amount of music files on his computer(s)....

Posted by Susie at 08:33 AM | Comments (1)

November 12, 2004

Your input is solicited...and might even be valued!

Ok, it's Friday, so that means that many bloggers (particularly the covert work-bloggers) will be taking it easy 'til Monday. This sparks a dilemma.

Should Susie take the weekends off from blogging?
May as well--that's what the cool kids do
Heck, no! This is your chance to rule the blogosphere
Polls are jejune
>
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Oh--and if anyone (WindRider? Paul?) knows how to get rid of the excess space above the poll, I'd be much obliged....

UPDATE: If this is fixed, you can all thank Jim. If it's fubar, blame Jim. ;)

Posted by Susie at 11:09 AM | Comments (7)

October 12, 2004

My Pet Moonbat Returns

My pet Moonbat is still sending me links to "news" that Kerry is all that is noble, honorable and reasonable, and Bush makes Baby Jesus cry. Since that sort of dreck is basically repetitive and gets old fast, I have replied to each of his emails with the request he stop emailing me his chain-propaganda. Look what he wrote today:

I told you to not emai me .. take me off your emaikil list hag

He called me a "hag"! Just because I wrote to him "Your zealotry is becoming irksome. Get a hobby. Take up crochet or do crossword puzzles." Now my feelings are hurt! If I had a mailing list I would take him right off it!

I'm really starting to feel sorry for this guy. What is he going to do if (God forbid) Kerry wins? How will he fill his days if there's no reason to spend hours scouring the internet for "proof" that Bush bites the heads off kittens and is personally responsible for AIDS, Global Warming, Beef Wellington and the Spanish-American War?

Imagine how empty his days will be once a Kerry Presidency has wrought the promised peace and prosperity, ushering in the new global Age of Aquarius where Jew and Muslim work side-by-side to devise vegetarian menus for U.N. sponsored summits? With no raison d'etre, Moonbats everywhere will be blowing their brains out!

As compassionate Americans, we have a responsibility to ensure that all Moonbats have a reason to go on living. Vote for George W. Bush on November 2nd.

Not paid for by any political committee; not approved by G.W. Bush.

Posted by Susie at 09:15 AM | Comments (4)

October 11, 2004

I had a crush on him

I just read that Christopher Reeve pased away. If I were Michael J. Fox or any of the other names Kerry droppped in the last debate, I'd start wondering if God was trying to tell me something....

Posted by Susie at 09:48 AM | Comments (1)

October 07, 2004

Cool! I've got my own pet Moonbat!

My leftist pen-pal just won't leave me alone. He keeps sending me links to the kind of mind-numbing double talk he seems to find evocative. For example, this one (by E.L. Doctorow, so at least the punctuation & usage is correct), this one (a lovely "report" called "Edwards Crushes Cheney - Mainstream Press Lies About It", citing the fact that the online polls show that Edwards won--with no mention, of course, that Terry McAuliffe orchestrated the skewing of those results), a link to one of the skewed online polls, and my favorite--this link to that bastion of Truth, Justice and the American Way, The Fat One himself!

I guess he thinks that he's going to "save" me. Unfortunately, I've already been washed in the blood of Bushitler and my VRWC membership has 7 more years before it expires, so the only thing that might make me vote for Kerry would be a gun to my head... AND a million dollars, a condo on Maui, four scantily-clad Chippendale's dancers on long-term "service" contracts and a lifetime supply of pineapple sherbet. All that might make me consider changing me vote.

Nah. A million dollars doesn't buy as much as it used to....

Posted by Susie at 03:29 PM | Comments (4)

October 04, 2004

Politics does strange things to some people....

I came home to find this is my email:

The Evil Of Two Lessers
Cutting Through The Convoluted Web Of Deception
By Drant (Blogspot)
Number 77
10-3-4

The Yale Alumni Club had a Reunion last night, and no matta what the TV says, John Kerry kicked The Idiots ass.
We knew what would happen- we knew that there would be no emergency last minute 512mb upgrade for Bushs Brain. We saw two Yalies with lovely suits and overprivileged lives stand and deliver two versions of the same bilateral horseshit we have been hearing for years, differing here and there only in their syllabic locution and varying level of what passes for erudition in a CNN world.
We watched two neatly coiffed rich white guys in makeup, Faces- fronting for the two party sham, for the giant corporations that really run this country and increasingly the Planet, as they split hairs over meaningless merest details in a global dick swinging contest.
These are men bought and paid for by the same bosses, brains washed in the same soap, who follow orders and know full well which side of their low carb croissants are lavishly buttered, reading from two sides of the same teleprompter, dancing to the same sickening tune without the slightest sense of rhythm-- Siamese twins, joined at their self-interest and in perfect zygotic congruence regarding just about everything, differing only over the degree of politesse one employs when aodomizing some defenseless ragheads or choosing which brown or yellow dudes are next in line to be detonated in the name of Freedom, Democracy and our Lord Jesus Christ.
The real debate is neither Bush nor Kerry, but the system they exemplify; it is the decline of true democracy and the rise of the American "national security statein which people are sent to prison and the key thrown away and whose leaders commit capital crimes in faraway places, unhindered these days, terrorism having replaced the red menace, another fake debate is under way. This is lesser evilism (John Pilger)
This is where the killing starts -- when debate is emptied of reason so that the public is subject to a kind of mass media lobotomy and fundamentally disenfranchised. What is the difference between not being able to vote and not having anything meaningful to vote for? (Robert Fisk)
It's true that if John Kerry becomes president, some of the oil tycoons and Christian fundamentalists in the White House will changethe real concern is that in the new administration their policies will continue. That we will have Bushism without Bush.
Those positions of real power - the bankers, the CEOs - are not vulnerable to the vote (and in any case, they fund both sides). The U.S. political system has been carefully crafted to ensure that no one who questions the natural goodness of the military-industrial-corporate power structure will be allowed through the portals of power (Arundhati Roy)
While the 2004 ballot is setting up to be one of the most divisive elections in history, campaign contributors to the candidates are looking more similar than ever. Presidential Candidate John Kerry has received increasingly more donations from employees of companies that have historically made large donations to President George W. Bush's campaign ( http://www.publicintegrity.org/bop2004/candidate.a
spx?cid=1 ). In fact, Bush and Kerry now share four of the same 10 largest donors this election cycle, all of whom are financial corporations, according to a study by the Center for Public Integrity ( http://www.publicintegrity.org/bop2004/report.aspx?aid=374&sid=200 ).
Regardless of who you plan to vote for in November (if anyone at all), the assumptions behind ABB stand in the way of building movements that can bring about political change.
We need to chart a course that looks beyond the election to long-term efforts that will necessarily have to be independent of -- and oppositional to -- the Democrats, as well as the Republicans.We can't do that while shilling for the Democrats, and letting them off the hook
ABB -- Anybody But Bush -- is one of the most harmful slogans progressives have put forward in decades.The slogan tells John Kerry and the Democrats that they don't need to do anything to win our vote. (Anthony Arnove)
With John Kerry on the ticket, the Democrats have ensured a victory in November for the small but powerful pro-war special interests. Kerry is their sleeper, their private Manchurian candidate. They face a win-win scenario. Even if Kerry wins, the initial euphoria sparked by a Bush-free White House will eventually be replaced by this reality: no matter what Kerry and Edwards may have said from the podium in Boston, for most of the world neither help nor hope is really on the way (Jeremy Scahill)
So where the hell does that leave We (the Group formerly known as) The People? Hey, do I have to splain every little thing Lucy ?
It leaves us walking into the voting booth with no real choice, robbed of our ability to acquit our most fundamental obligation as co-signatories to the Social Contract- With our BALLotS cut off.
Countertenors trying to sing Don Giovanni. One thing we know is - They want it this way. They want the status exactly this quo, because this is the way they make a living, and baby needs shoes.
The Vietnam War proves that John Kerry cant be President.
The issue is not whether or not he was a hero in Vietnam, or got shot in the ass, or deserved his medals.
The issue is- what did he do AFTER that, and whether anyone would want a man who has done what Kerry did, to be handed the keys to the car.
Once a War Criminal, then a fearless truth teller, deeply aware and courageously vocal about his and Americas War Crimes, he has made some of the most cowardly decisions in recent political history, by becoming a stooge for the Democratic National Committee, ignoring his own convictions, and pimping himself for his own gain.
When The Idiot George went All In on the flop, and bluffed Kerry- (would Kerry have voted for the War had he known what he knows now-) Kerry had the world in his hands.
He coulda been Ali finally coming off the ropes, and throwing the perfect right to the mush, and DOWN GOES BUSH.
But no. Kerry stayed stuck in his muddled graceless version of the Hope-a-Dope.
YES ! He said. I woulda voted for the war, even knowing that you lied to me and everyone else, even knowing that we are murdering our children and theirs for no reason, even knowing that we have now fulfilled Osamas wildest wet dreams, and even knowing that it would mean squandering our desperately earned money on war and killing, thereby destroying our schools, hospitals, rivers and streams, and giving away any spare dollars to the bastards who need it the least.
But hey, he was only following orders.
The Democratic Leadership Council and the Party Bigs told him what to say, and thats what he did.
So friends, which of the Two Evils will be Lesser in the long run ?
We know one thing, it wont make a damn bitta difference to the Iraqis, The Afghanis, The Cubans, The Venezuelans, The Palestinians, The Sudanese, The Haitians, The Poor, The Sick, The Old, or anybody vaguely brown, black, yellow, gay, lesbian, disadvantaged or anyone not Rich, White, Straight and more or less Judeo Christian, anybody who prefers clean water, breathable air, food not made from petro chemicals, or anyone who likes fish that dont glow in the dark.
Those guys are all gonna get screwed either way. I hear ya, all you Pragmatists. You dont have to yell. We gots ta get ridda Bush, and then we go after Kerry. Thats a load of garbage. You elect Evil, you get Evil. Kerry dissed every Democrat who even smelled anti war in Boston, and he gets big bucks from MONSANTO, for shits sake. But OK- OK OK.
I'll make you a deal.
If we vote for Kerry, if we do like you say and live in the (give me a break Groucho) Real World, and we hold our noses, and vote for the worlds most famous Anyone-
We take off our pants and do it-
You guys have to promise not to fall back asleep on Nov 3. If you swear on Harry Truman's grave to kick some ass, and not heave a sigh of relief that you got Anyone elected and devolve into terminal snooze, and if you promise that you won't let The Democratic Party think that we support their indictable incompetence and corrupt cooption, and if you put it in writing that you know that its the whole system that has to change, and that Kerry and Bush are irrelevant
Then I promise not to trash Kerry any more, and not to tell everybody what a spineless putz he is, and give you four weeks of grace.
Deal ?
http://www.uruknet.info/?s1=2&p=6057&s2=02

I've read it twice and I still don't get it. Is this supposed to make me vote for Kerry?

Anybody? Bueller?

Posted by Susie at 12:29 AM | Comments (7)

September 15, 2004

LOL!!!!!

Click.

Posted by Susie at 02:58 PM | Comments (2)

August 06, 2004

When Biscuits Go Wrong....

Click here. (Kenya, eat your heart out!)

Posted by Susie at 08:54 AM | Comments (3)

July 31, 2004

What I really want is Barbie as Galadriel

I've always suspected that Harvey had my house wired for video--now there's proof...

Posted by Susie at 10:00 AM | Comments (1)

June 23, 2004

Victor's meme

Like the book one, only movies. Got it from Jennifer. The ones I've seen are in bold...

I put them in extended entry....

1. CITIZEN KANE (1941)
2. CASABLANCA (1942)
3. THE GODFATHER (1972)
4. GONE WITH THE WIND (1939)
5. LAWRENCE OF ARABIA (1962)
6. THE WIZARD OF OZ (1939)
7. THE GRADUATE (1967)
8. ON THE WATERFRONT (1954)
9. SCHINDLER'S LIST (1993)
10. SINGIN' IN THE RAIN (1952)
11. IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946)
12. SUNSET BOULEVARD (1950)
13. THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI (1957)
14. SOME LIKE IT HOT (1959)
15. STAR WARS (1977)
16. ALL ABOUT EVE (1950)
17. THE AFRICAN QUEEN (1951)
18. PSYCHO (1960)
19. CHINATOWN (1974)
20. ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST (1975)
21. THE GRAPES OF WRATH (1940)
22. 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY (1968)
23. THE MALTESE FALCON (1941)
24. RAGING BULL (1980)
25. E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL (1982)
26. DR. STRANGELOVE (1964)
27. BONNIE AND CLYDE (1967)
28. APOCALYPSE NOW (1979)
29. MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON (1939)
30. THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE (1948)
31. ANNIE HALL (1977)
32. THE GODFATHER PART II (1974)
33. HIGH NOON (1952)
34. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD (1962)
35. IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT (1934)
36. MIDNIGHT COWBOY (1969)
37. THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES (1946)
38. DOUBLE INDEMNITY (1944)
39. DOCTOR ZHIVAGO (1965)
40. NORTH BY NORTHWEST (1959)
41. WEST SIDE STORY (1961)
42. REAR WINDOW (1954)
43. KING KONG (1933)
44. THE BIRTH OF A NATION (1915)
45. A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE (1951)
46. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE (1971)
47. TAXI DRIVER (1976)
48. JAWS (1975)
49. SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS (1937)
50. BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID (1969)
51. THE PHILADELPHIA STORY (1940)
52. FROM HERE TO ETERNITY (1953)
53. AMADEUS (1984)
54. ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT (1930)
55. THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965)
56. M*A*S*H (1970)
57. THE THIRD MAN (1949)
58. FANTASIA (1940)
59. REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE (1955)
60. RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981)
61. VERTIGO (1958)
62. TOOTSIE (1982)
63. STAGECOACH (1939)
64. CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND (1977)
65. THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991)
66. NETWORK (1976)
67. THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (1962)
68. AN AMERICAN IN PARIS (1951)
69. SHANE (1953)
70. THE FRENCH CONNECTION (1971)
71. FORREST GUMP (1994)
72. BEN-HUR (1959)
73. WUTHERING HEIGHTS (1939)
74. THE GOLD RUSH (1925)
75. DANCES WITH WOLVES (1990)
76. CITY LIGHTS (1931)
77. AMERICAN GRAFFITI (1973)
78. ROCKY (1976)
79. THE DEER HUNTER (1978)
80. THE WILD BUNCH (1969)
81. MODERN TIMES (1936)
82. GIANT (1956)
83. PLATOON (1986)
84. FARGO (1996)
85. DUCK SOUP (1933)
86. MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY (1935)
87. FRANKENSTEIN (1931)
88. EASY RIDER (1969)
89. PATTON (1970)
90. THE JAZZ SINGER (1927)
91. MY FAIR LADY (1964)
92. A PLACE IN THE SUN (1951)
93. THE APARTMENT (1960)
94. GOODFELLAS (1990)
95. PULP FICTION (1994)
96. THE SEARCHERS (1956)
97. BRINGING UP BABY (1938)
98. UNFORGIVEN (1992)
99. GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER (1967)
100. YANKEE DOODLE DANDY (1942)
101. THE CAINE MUTINY (1954)
102. METROPOLIS (1927)
103. PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE (1959)
104. THE JOY-LUCK CLUB (1993)
105. SHREK (2001)
106. TRAINSPOTTING (1996)
107.THE BIG LEBOWSKI (1998)
108. OFFICE SPACE (1999)
109. LILO & STITCH (2002)

I think I should have bolded the ones I haven't seen....

Posted by Susie at 02:24 PM | Comments (4)

June 20, 2004

Today's Chuckle

In an email from a friend:


Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs. His wife Hillary got $8 million for hers. That's $20 million for memories from two people who for eight years repeatedly testified, under oath, that they couldn't remember anything.

God Bless America!

Posted by Susie at 01:53 AM | Comments (2)

May 27, 2004

A little help from my friends?

Please, somebody fisk this for me--I'm so tired of the idiotarians parrotting the same nonsense we have heard from day one that my brain hurts.

1. Mr. Bush allowed Iraq to become a distraction from the war on terrorism.

Before we invaded Iraq, it was a stable nation. Saddam provided a secular government and would not tolerate the Islamic fundamentalism that fuels al Queda—in fact, he brutally suppressed it. Don't get me wrong, he was an evil SOB, even worse than Dick Cheney! But Iraq was off-limits for al Queda activities. Saddam was well contained militarily by UN sanctions and the US enforcement of them. He posed no threat to the region, nor to the US homeland.

Now, Iraq is unstable, a “failed nation” at present, with little control of the populace. Terrorism is rampant, aimed at Iraqi collaborators and American occupiers. The US occupation of an arabic nation, an Islamic nation, fuels al Queda's recruiting. Iraq is one big training camp where live fire operations are possible. This is George W. Bush's gift to al Queda.

2. Mr. Bush lied to the American people and the world about the threat posed by Iraq.

Mr. Bush has destroyed most of the good-will that the United States received internationally after 9-11. He changed the focus from fighting terrorism (an action with broad international backing) to demonstrating that in US foreign policy, might makes right, a policy that has lost us the sympathy of many foreign nations.


3. Mr. Bush has instituted policies that destroy the freedoms of Americans.

While this may make it marginally more difficult for terrorists to operate in the homeland, al Queda can point to impacting the American way of life. They counted coup on us, not just by knocking down some buildings and killing some people (Yes, 9-11 was horrible, but let's put it in perspective: depending on which source you choose, between 1,000 and 4,000 women die each year of domestic violence, itself a form of terrorism that leaves many severely scarred who manage to physically survive it. It scars children, too. Homeland Security? Give me Dennis Kucinich's cabinet level Department of Peace that would address this problem directly), but by changing our way of life.


4. Mr. Bush has de-emphasized solving the Israeli-Palestinian quagmire

Stabilizing Israel and Palestine will remove a key recruiting point for al Queda. But, Mr. Bush chose to put less energy into solving this problem, and to focus in causing a problem in Iraq. Good for al Queda, bad for Israelis, bad for Palestinians. Bad for Americans.


5. If elected, Mr. Bush can be counted on to continue a policy of international beligerence, thus strengthening the terrorist call to action.

Mr. Bush has given no indication that he will repudiate Dick Cheney's implementation of the Plan for a New American Century, a plan of military intimidation and dominance. This belligerent behavior will serve only to isolate America and coerce cooperation from fear. But al Queda will not be coerced, it will only grow in the nooks and crannies and dark spaces of the globe. The Bush doctrine of preemption isolates us from our allies and fuels the fires of hatred that power terrorism.

# posted by Elderbear : 11:41

CD? Stephen? Tom? Harvey? Will you ride to the rescue of a damsel in distress?

Posted by Susie at 01:51 PM | Comments (12)

May 24, 2004

In my inbox

Pepsi has a new "patriotic" can coming out with pictures of the Empire State Bldg. and the Pledge of Allegiance on them.

However, Pepsi left out two little words on the
pledge. "Under God". Pepsi said they did not want to
offend anyone.

If this is true, then we don't want to offend
anyone at the Pepsi corporate office. So, if we don't
buy any Pepsi product, they will not be offended when
they don't receive our money that has the words "In
God We Trust" on it.

UPDATE: Thanks to Dennis for pointing out in the comments that this is an urban legend! See what happens when I rush to meet a deadline (get to work on time)? I pull a USA Today...

Posted by Susie at 01:45 PM | Comments (4)

April 30, 2004

I try to use this power only for good

I have a confession to make. I am a flirt. I'm not sure if that's the reason for or merely a consequence of my womanly power over the male of the species, but the force runs strong in the females of my family. I just had to get that off my (currently braless) chest...

Posted by Susie at 01:07 PM | Comments (9)

March 27, 2004

Neener neener!!!!

I got a troll and you didn't! In the comments to this post, the amazingly articulate Rob G. of 66.42.122.47 opines:

I can't wait for your lying fascist bogus potus to go down in November... just counting the days, you conformist, willfully ignorant clowns.
P.S. You forgot to put your mutual half-brain back into the jar of salty brine...

Sigh...I know, Rob G--it's terrible the way we won't admit that Neil Armstrong's moon landing was really filmed in the Arizona desert, that the government is covering up for the alien race that is abducting people to conduct anal probes, or that the National Enquirer's photos of the amazing bat boy were not photoshopped. But what you don't seem to realize is that the government is paying us to pretend to be "conformist, willfully ignorant clowns". That so-called "tax break" that GW pushed through? It was REALLY just a fancy accounting ploy to cover up the billions of dollars in bribes the government gives out to members of the VRWC.

So while I sit here on my yacht drinking pina coladas served by a scantily-clad waiter earning only 85 cents an hour to do my evil bidding, you have to hunch over a germy public library keyboard to surf the net and leave your insightful remarks--but only until the stormtroopers in black helicopters swoop down to pick you up and take you to the Patriot Act-endorsed re-education camp, muhahaha!

Oh--and that tinfoil hat you thought was going to protect you from the government's mind-control rays? It was made by ALCOA, an evil corporation that has been secretly embedding brain cancer causing material into its products since the 1950s....

Posted by Susie at 09:11 AM | Comments (14)

March 16, 2004

Well, this is quite a whack on the noggin

Who knew? Not I, until dear Pixy emailed me, and Tiger and Windrider blogged about it. I will try and remain your beloved humble Susie, but it's going to be tough.

Posted by Susie at 10:38 AM | Comments (4)

January 23, 2004

Cool Beans!!!!!!

This seems like a cool new email scam--anybody else find out that they have violated the Patriot Act via their email?????


Received:
from adelphia.net (oh-clevelandheights-cdnt1-bg1e-15.clvdoh.adelphia.net [68.170.195.15](misconfigured sender))
by worldnet.att.net (mtiwgwc13) with SMTP
Fri, 23 Jan 2004 17:11:48 +0000
X-Originating-IP: [68.170.195.15]
Received: from oh-clevelandheights-cdnt1-bg1e-15.clvdoh.adelphia.net (oh-clevelandheights-cdnt1-bg1e-15.clvdoh.adelphia.net [68.170.195.15])
by adelphia.net (8.12.8p1/8.12.8) with ESMTP id fcycy41426
Sat, 24 Jan 2004 06:59:57 -0400 (EST)
Message-ID:
From: "FDIC"
Subject: Important News About Your Bank Account
Date: Sat, 24 Jan 2004 06:59:55 -0400 (EST)


To whom it may concern;
In cooperation with the Department Of Homeland Security, Federal, State and Local Governments your account has been denied insurance from the Federal
Deposit Insurance Corporation due to suspected violations of the Patriot Act. While we have only a limited amount of evidence gathered on your account at
this time it is enough to suspect that currency violations may have occurred in your account and due to this activity we have withdrawn Federal Deposit
Insurance on your account until we verify that your account has not been used in a violation of the Patriot Act.

As a result Department Of Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge has advised the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation to suspend all deposit insurance on
your account until such time as we can verify your identity and your account information.

Please verify through our IDVerify below. This information will be checked against a federal government database for identity verification. This only takes
up to a minute and when we have verified your identity you will be notified of said verification and all suspensions of insurance on your account will be
lifted.

http://www.fdic.gov/idverify/cgi-bin/index.htm

Failure to use IDVerify below will cause all insurance for your account to be terminated and all records of your account history will be sent to the
Federal Bureau of Investigation in Washington D.C. for analysis and verification. Failure to provide proper identity may also result in a visit from Local,
State or Federal Government or Homeland Security Officials.

Thank you for your time and consideration in this matter.

Donald E. Powell

Chairman Emeritus FDIC

John D. Hawke, Jr.

Comptroller of the Currency

Michael E. Bartell

Chief Information Officer

I clicked the link just to see if they were gonna ask me for my bank account number or something, or offer me a chance to help out a poor Nigerian, but the page didn't load....

UPDATE:Hmm..I decided to print this and my virus program detected a known trojan...so folks, if "FDIC" writes you, don't open it!

Posted by Susie at 02:24 PM | Comments (5)

October 29, 2003

ROFL

All these months there has been a typo in my email addy, and it was only just today that it was pointed out to me! LOL! Thanks, Commissar!

Posted by Susie at 06:29 PM | Comments (4)

October 08, 2003

Return of the Prodigal Blogger

Everything happens while I am at work in the Technology Free Zone™! Bill found John Collins, everybody started to get together a bloggers fund drive, and then John refused to take anyone's money, all while I was blithely threading "Finding Nemo" and doing the week's payroll.
Munuvia was overjoyed at the news that our lost sheep was merely in jail rather than gracing someone's table as a fine mutton stew. I just wish he would let us at least stand him a few beers....

On the other hand, the sonovabitch had us worrying ourselves into a decline, so he can buy his own damn beer!

Posted by Susie at 01:03 AM | Comments (1)

October 06, 2003

Some of us are worrying about our friend Collins...

and Stevie over at caught in the X fire has done a little leg work to gather some clues.

We are seriously worried, Gentle Readers.

Anybody have any ideas on how to track down a missing blogger?

UPDATE: After exhaustive searching through my comments I found John's IP address. The website that I know of for tracing seems to be down. So, for anyone who may be geek enough to trace our lost sheep, it's 167.206.82.34

Posted by Susie at 10:55 AM | Comments (3)

September 26, 2003

Wherefore art thou, Collins?

Attention John Collins, wherever you are--
Your disappearance has now become slang, e.g. "He's done a Collins."

We miss you.
Even Bill misses you.

Come back...all is forgiven....free ice cream...

Posted by Susie at 07:09 AM | Comments (1)

September 25, 2003

Vote for me!

I made it into the swimsuit competition portion of Windrider's contest!
Vote for me here.
Now.
Go on!
Shoo!

Posted by Susie at 02:33 AM | Comments (2)

September 20, 2003

Hmm...

I'm shocked, shocked I tell you! Jennifer has discovered a long-buried secret from Frank's past...

It explains a lot, though...(I've been missing that necklace since 1972....)

Posted by Susie at 05:57 PM | Comments (1)

September 09, 2003

Score Sheet

Bloggers who have not linked to Jen: Instapundit.

Bloggers who have not updated their link to Jen:
John Collins,
Kin's Kouch,
David's Great Adventure,
A Single Guy in the South,
Banagor,
Bad State of Gruntledness,
High Desert Skeptic,
Alice

Bloggers who Jen has declared war on, even though they have linked to her on numerous occasions, just because her link has not been updated: Frank J.


One cannot help but wonder if there is something else going on here.....unrequited adoration, perhaps?

Posted by Susie at 11:00 AM | Comments (5)

Today's Headline

"Avant garde Film maker and insignificant blogger Susie has just released a new movie, which unfortunately appears to require several sequels to resolve the highly simplistic plot."
Posted by Susie at 10:26 AM | Comments (3)

Thanks, Tiger

43.75 %

My weblog owns 43.75 % of me.
Does your weblog own you?

Posted by Susie at 01:10 AM | Comments (2)

August 16, 2003

One last post....

before I go to bed. This movie is a visual expression of my stance in Blog War!, the Sequel.
Frank, Jennifer, Kevin, Kin.....I give you War Piece.

Posted by Susie at 12:03 AM | Comments (5)

August 15, 2003

Travel Report

Despite being in the middle of packing up and moving to his new blog, Victor found time to make another Dfilm! It features a soliloquoy by Tiger!....

Posted by Susie at 10:49 PM | Comments (1)

August 12, 2003

Blog Wars.....

Kin has declared war on me--sort of. I, however, am the queen of gratuitious linkage, and I will triumph!

Posted by Susie at 10:46 AM | Comments (1)

Suppose they gave a war and nobody came?

Well, Glenn (not Reynolds) has declared war on Frank J, but despite heavy casualties, it is not the talk of the blogosphere! Bloggers are so blase....

Posted by Susie at 08:28 AM | Comments (6)

August 11, 2003

Another one bites the bug...er, the bug bites another one?

Muh ha ha.....Dfilmania has Victor in its evil clutches too, now that he is Back From Vacation (He looks an awful lot like Tiger, tho....)

Posted by Susie at 12:41 AM | Comments (0)

Semi-Lame Post #37

Pixy Misa offers a brief yet amusing summary of the story so far as an introduction to Episode 17 of the interminable yet thrilling saga of The Blogfather...

If you have been resisting the lure of Dfilm, you obviously haven't seen Pixy's magnum opus (still in progess). If 18 episodes seems too long for you, try Tuning Spork's Spam Trek -- it's only 6 parts!

Still reluctant to put your ADD to the test? Ith has a three parter for your viewing pleasure...

Posted by Susie at 12:30 AM | Comments (0)

August 10, 2003

The Revenge of Frank...

Thanks to the heads up from Jennifer in Tiger's comments, I checked the Ecosystem and the only links showing up for PP are from Frank!

So...his evil plotting at last comes to light....only links from IMAO count in the ecosystem! Muh ha ha....

Posted by Susie at 10:34 AM | Comments (3)

August 08, 2003

Movie Mania

I started this entry to tell you my interview's up over at Paul's, but got sidetracked by all the new filmmakers, like Tuning Spork and John Collins.... John's is hilarious (gee, who'd a thought?) and Spork's is too....

Anyway, I guess Paul was expecting me to make stuff up, but I respect him too much as a journalist not to take his questions seriously. Plus making stuff up is hard work, and I hate hard work--heck, I hate easy work....

Posted by Susie at 09:01 AM | Comments (0)

August 07, 2003

Run faster!

Pixy Misa has episode 14 of the Blogfather!

Posted by Susie at 08:10 PM | Comments (3)

It's spreading! Run!

Yippie! Frank has made a Dfilm! I liked scene two the best....

Posted by Susie at 08:07 PM | Comments (1)

D film lives!

Pixy has up the next thrilling episode in the Blogfather Saga (and his talents are being severely limited by the inability to have more than two characters on screen at one time, forcing him to use the old "see who's over there" ploy).

Meanwhile, I have my own new prequel episode "Paul made me cry"

Posted by Susie at 10:37 AM | Comments (3)

What Michele hath wrought

Will the D(film)isease never stop spreading? Silver Blue has it too....

Posted by Susie at 01:21 AM | Comments (0)

August 06, 2003

Hurray!

Episode 12....You Only Blog Twice co-stars Tiger and Glenn Reynolds....

Posted by Susie at 10:40 AM | Comments (1)

August 05, 2003

Quick! Sue somebody!

Well, now that we are all addicted to Dfilm, it's time to blame someone else for our obsession and lack of self control....so, who shall we sue for getting us into this vile habit? Pixy Misa? no, he's just a victim. Tiger? No, he's lawyer. Hmmmm.....so far I have traced the "disease" through David to Michele... so, looks like we have a winner...

Posted by Susie at 11:54 AM | Comments (5)

From the vaults....

To satisfy popular demand, the director has burrowed deep into her movie -making past and decided to release one of her earlier (12 hours ago) attempts at film-making.

The now-classic No Moonies for Oil! stars Tiger playing opposite the director herself. Notice the subtle references to recent posts of the male lead, and the post-modern sub-text of Insta-mockery and link-whoredom....

UPDATE: Due to slow typing and excessive proof reading, this blog has been scooped! twice! (this may demand a movie...)

Posted by Susie at 10:54 AM | Comments (2)

Creature Feature

Ah! My one day off during the week....a day to do laundry, clean the house, pay bills, brush the cat and all those dozens of other routine chores, so naturally I'm making movies..... here is my latest masterpiece in the cross-blogger series...

Frnak Lives!

Posted by Susie at 10:25 AM | Comments (1)

August 04, 2003

The Blogfather vs. Frnak

While I have been playing with stupid logos for Frank's contest, Pixy Misa has been filmmaking and is up to Episode 10: Blogfinger!

Posted by Susie at 10:49 AM | Comments (0)

Now I'm reaching....

theater ghost loser.jpg

Posted by Susie at 10:40 AM | Comments (2)

Another pathetic attempt....

kitty loser.jpg

Posted by Susie at 10:33 AM | Comments (0)

The Saga continues....

Pixy Misa has Episode 8:Blogfather Forever!

UPDATE: Episode 9: Live and let Blog!

Posted by Susie at 09:58 AM | Comments (4)

Monday morning (insert epithet here)

Man, I head off to put in my twelve hours in Hell ™, and the Blogosystem suddenly comes alive! Turning Spork and Jennifer made movies, and Frank turned my pathetic attempts at a losers' logo into a competition! I am not delighted with any of the entries, though (sorry Pixy! sorry Frank!) so if anyone can design a better one (Kevin? Fritz?) I'll be happy to consider them ...

Posted by Susie at 09:32 AM | Comments (0)

August 02, 2003

My favorite so far....

dialated lost seriously.jpg

Posted by Susie at 06:15 PM | Comments (1)

another try

another try.jpg

Somebody stop me!

lost cartman.jpg

dialated lost.jpg

Posted by Susie at 05:46 PM | Comments (2)

second attempt

I lost.jpg


Somebody help me out here....(yes, Pixy, I saw yours....)

Posted by Susie at 11:54 AM | Comments (0)

August 01, 2003

Logo attempt

loser monkey.jpg


I'm sure one of us can do better that this! I have to go to work now...

Posted by Susie at 11:14 AM | Comments (7)

July 31, 2003

I confess

Before I head over and start some heavy-duty drinking, I have decided to come out of the closet and admit the truth:

I am Freemont B. Lebowski and this is my poem:

Lament

Alas!

Night is not the time
to brood on lack of lime;
a margarita's useless
when the lime is juiceless.

And to add to all my woes,
a dog just ate my mother's toes....

Freemont B. Lebowski

Copyright ©2003 Freemont B. Lebowski

Posted by Susie at 05:41 PM | Comments (2)

July 28, 2003

Meanwhile, back in Iraq....

Jennifer and John Collins have both written excellent conclusions to this week's In My World....wonder if this is Frank's "master plan" -- to let his readers do ALL his blogging for him....

Posted by Susie at 11:05 AM | Comments (2)

Vote for Me!!!!!

That guy with the annoying banner ad has the group D contest question answers up, and everyone must vote for my entry immediately! In keeping with the regulations of the competition, I am not allowed to offer any clues as to which answer was mine, so be sure to pick one that Frank wouldn't pick, since he's 0 for 3 so far.....

Posted by Susie at 10:51 AM | Comments (6)

July 26, 2003

A scathingly brilliant idea....

Now, not that I have anything against Kevin, Lair or Michele, but wouldn't it be great to see John Collins and Bill C. go head-to-head in a 24-hour insult-a-thon? Not only would I pay to see that...okay, I probably wouldn't actually be willing to pay to see that, but it would be really cool...

UPDATE:

Ok, things are getting weirder in Blog War I. Thanks to Kevin I went to the puppyblender's where I followed an actual link to Frank (couched in deliciously outrageously insulting terms). Then I noticed that the instaguy linked to Frank again! I find it very interesting that he linked to "Damn You!" Scrappleface in the same sentence... Coincidence? I think not....

Posted by Susie at 09:42 AM | Comments (11)

July 22, 2003

Virtual Stalking has its detractors....

Primal Purge :: If I promise to miss you, will you delete your blog? likens my admiration for Frnak to that crazy housekeeper or whoever she was who stabbed (or was it shot?) that person that Jennifer Lopez played in that one movie.....

Hmmm.....

Prolly just jealous....

Posted by Susie at 12:36 PM | Comments (4)

July 21, 2003

Everybody waits til I go to work to come out to play.....

Apparently we are headed for Blog War I

Much like World War One, Blog War One seems to have been triggered by series of small, otherwise irrelevant incidents. No one knows or cares much about Archduke Ferdinand (just as people in the real world couldn't care less about the ingredients a man puts in his blender drinks) but such otherwise trivial incidents activate automatic pacts (now posts) which force countries (now bloggers) to line up on one side or the other -- without much regard to national interests.

So who gets to be Kaiser Wilhelm? Tsar Nicholas? King George?

... and can I be Woodrow Wilson?

Not necessarily unrelated:

Greatest gun ever! Feel special. Beautiful and reliable but can still scare the living bejesus outta anyone.
Sig Sauer P226. Greatest gun ever! Feel special.
Beautiful and reliable but can still scare the
living bejesus outta anyone.


What handgun are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Classical Values < Kevin the Wiz < Pixy Misa

Posted by Susie at 06:57 PM | Comments (4)

July 20, 2003

Gee, what a surprise.....

Republican
Threat rating: zero. Excellent work - you
demonstrate all the qualities of patriotism
that will make America even greater under Bush.
USA no.1!!!


What threat to the Bush administration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by Susie at 01:43 AM | Comments (5)

July 18, 2003

Updated update to the update

Two quick notes before I crawl into bed with an attractive ex-MP named Jack Reacher....

#1 Frank, what were you thinking????? Everyone has to VOTE AGAIN???????

Wait. I forgot. You live in Florida.....

#2 Tuning Spork needs to get off Blogspot. I pointed him at Dean's Jihad offer, but if anyone else can help him out with cheap hosting and MT, leave a message for him at Frank's. He hangs out in the comments there (he offered me candy, but I insisted on a dry martini and ...nevermind). Or you could email him.

Posted by Susie at 09:14 PM | Comments (6)

July 17, 2003

Uh-oh

Frank has declared jihad on poor Kevin as well as the puppyblender.

Thank goodnes he hasn't found out about my suggestion for the Blogroll Survivor players in tribe A......

Posted by Susie at 10:09 AM | Comments (1)

Muh ha ha.......

Let's play a joke on Frank.....everyone who is in group A should go here, and copy and paste this response to the essay question!

That would be a hoot, wouldn't it? If everyone submitted the same essay?

Yeah, I am overtired. Better go to bed before I start telling the story about the one-legged hooker and the marching band.....

Posted by Susie at 01:16 AM | Comments (4)

July 11, 2003

Question of the Day

I was surprised that none of my Loyal Readers had a comment on this entry....maybe it got lost in the excitement of Frank's Blogiversary.
So, what say you, ladies? Which is sexier on a man, a kilt or a nightshirt?

Posted by Susie at 11:30 AM | Comments (3)

July 06, 2003

Updated Update

Yes, Victor, I got your entry. See the update to Capitulation?

Posted by Susie at 10:47 AM | Comments (1)

July 05, 2003

Capitulation?

Well, I now have three entries to my contest, but since one is from my brother, P.K., we can't count it. And it seems I stumped even him on two of them.....
He wrote:

"#3 "What? The curtains?"

#5 "Anybody else wanna negotiate?"?

help..."

I can't believe he didn't get # 3!!!!!! P.K. is the object of ridicule..... (family joke).

Anyway, I was thinking of ending the contest early, but since I need something to post on Tuesday I decided to adhere to my deadline for entries of July 6th. So if you know the answers to any of them go ahead and email them to me {GevKaffeeGal [at] att [dot] net} and I will acknowledge your (pitiful) efforts when I post the winner...

UPDATE: Whoohoo! Another contest entry! Hurray! That makes it three real entries, plus my brother (who actually only emailed me the two he didn't know). If I didn't have to go to work soon, I'd do something to celebrate (like have a beer for each entrant or something).
[Michelob. Honey Lager. I knew you were wondering.]

Posted by Susie at 08:56 AM | Comments (3)

July 03, 2003

Another Contest Update

Well, it seems that my offer of a prize in my Movie Trivia Contest has scared away even more contestants....

Is no one else up to the challenge?

Posted by Susie at 08:29 AM | Comments (4)

July 02, 2003

Contest Update

I have decided to add a prize of minimal monetary value to encourage contest entry. Designed by my brother PK, this useful set of eight identical postcards is suitable for framing, using as bookmarks (no--in books, not in your web browser), sending to friends via snail mail (postage not included), or as an icebreaker at parties.

So email me your contest answers: GevKaffeeGal at att dot net.

Thanks for playing.

Posted by Susie at 07:31 AM | Comments (1)

July 01, 2003

Wow!

I've already gotten my first email for the contest, with 16 out of 20 correct answers!
Apparently someone has alot of spare time on their hands.......

Posted by Susie at 11:39 PM | Comments (2)

You wouldn't get far in life not saying "is"

Imitation being the sincerest form of flattery, I have decided to have a contest!

It's a movie knowledge quiz, with a twist. I am going to give ten movie quotes that have become part of my family jargon. You need to email me [at GevKaffeeGal at att dot net] identifying the 10 movies, and the ten actors who played the character speaking.

The first person who emails me the most correct answers:
---becomes an honorary member of my family, since you've already got the jargon down
-- wins....... nothing of any monetary value whatsoever!!! (I knew that would get everyone all excited).

Pencils sharpened?

#1 "Lady Gloria, you are the only woman...at this table."

#2 "My fault, I should have blown first."

#3 "What? The curtains?"

#4 "Doors and sardines...that's what it's all about, really..."

#5 "Anybody else wanna negotiate?"

#6 "Looks like I picked the wrong week to give up doing amphetamines."

#7 "We're gonna need a bigger boat."

#8 "You men are all alike--seven or eight quick ones and you're off with the boys!"

#9 "Orange whip?"

#10 " This is Chuck to remind Bill to SHUT UP!"

No members of my family are eligible, since they would all get them all right and we'd have a tie.

Speaking of ties, if there is one, I'll pick a winner at random.

Contest ends at midnight EST July 6th, 2003.

I reserve the right to post your entries in my blog and make fun of them if I feel like it.

Posted by Susie at 07:40 PM | Comments (6)

June 19, 2003

Office Cat

whitley1.jpg

This is Whitley, my sister's office kitten. Looks innocent enough, doesn't he? He's just waiting for his chance.......

Bwhaaaa haaaaa haaaaaa

Posted by Susie at 10:36 PM | Comments (4)