January 04, 2007

One more reason why I hate bleeding-heart liberals

Here is a true story of what happens when the minimum wage is increased by law. Ohio increased their minimum wage by $1.70 an hour, effective January 1st. My company has half of its eight movie theaters in Ohio. In order to be able to afford the increased payroll without raising ticket prices (which negatively impacts business), the company has cut hours by instituting only one show on weeknights--theaters which had been playing movies at 5 and 8 are now only showing 7pm sets. So, a concessions clerk who worked from 4:30 to 9 on a weeknight at $5.15 an hour is now working from 6:30 to 8 for $6.85 an hour. Their day's wages have gone from $23 to $10.25. Let's say they still work 4 and a half hours on Saturday and so earn $31 for that day instead of the $23 they previously would have made. They are still making $5.00 less now than they would have without the wage increase.

But now we have the ripple effect--because theater costs have increased from their vendors as a result of their increased payroll costs, cutting show times in the Ohio theaters alone is not going to help make up revenue--so hours are being cut here in Indiana, too, even though our state's minimum wage is still $5.15. That means that an employee of mine who was earning $25* on a weeknight is now going to make $8.25, with no increase for the time they work on Saturday.

I expect to lose a few employees, especially the adults for whom this is a second job and it's just not worth the cost of gasoline to come in for an hour. There won't be any point in replacing them, either. I'll probably lose my Assistant Manager, too--his hours are being cut by half as a result of this.

Thanks, Ohio. I hope I can do something just as nice for you sometime soon...

*My theater pays $5.50/hour, despite minimum wage being $5.15

Posted by Susie at 10:42 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

July 24, 2005

I am the Soup Nazi

Why do people assume that if they have spilled their drink in the theater they can just get a free refill? First of all, they have already created more work for us, because now we have to mop under the seats all the way down to the screen (pop, like other substances, rolls downhill). Plus, they have already proved their inability to control their beverages, and now they want us to trust them with more? Honestly, if they bought a new car, drove it off the lot and immediately smashed it into a tree, do you think they really would expect to walk back to the salesman and say "I need a different car, I broke that one," and get an on-the-spot replacement?

Yes, we gave him the refill. It just annoys me that he even had the gall to ask...I wish we didn't have to cater to the drink-spillers of the world.

Posted by Susie at 10:08 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

December 14, 2004

Is there steam coming out of my ears????

gra·tu·ity:
something given voluntarily or beyond obligation usually for some service...

The key words here are voluntarily and beyond obligation. So why why why is a 15% "gratuity" being forced upon me? Now, I can see restaurants doing it for big groups that require multiple servers and possibly even separate checks. There is a lot more work involved in getting the food to the table at about the same time, keeping everyone's water glass filled, and bussing the tables afterward. I don't think they should call it a "gratuity," though--maybe a service charge, since it's not voluntary--but that's not the point right now.

The point is that I am being charged a 15% [insert Dr. Evil-does-the-quotation-mark-finger-thing] gratuity [/Dr.Evil] for pizza delivery. Is it going to take multiple drivers to deliver four pizzas to the theater Christmas party? Probably not. Is the driver going to have to go farther to deliver 4 pizzas than if he delivered only one or two? I sincerely doubt it. At the time I courteously pre-ordered the pizzas, I was a little too stunned to argue when I was told about the [insert Dr. Evil-does-the-quotation-mark-finger-thing] gratuity [/Dr.Evil]. But I have been brooding over it all night, and by golly when the pizza place opens in a couple of hours I am going to call them and ask how few pizzas I need to order so as not to be socked with a [insert Dr. Evil-does-the-quotation-mark-finger-thing] gratuity [/Dr.Evil], because it really frosts my Frito's to be forced to do a voluntary anything. And if their answer is two, I'm going to cancel two of the four pizzas and order them from a different pizza place, because it's not like there aren't at least forty different companies that deliver pizza in my city.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Post Script for Harv, based on a comment he made here:

Last night, while I was sitting in my office waiting patiently for the movies to finish,* three different people came up to the doors of a completely dark theater--I'm talking no marquee lights, no outside lights, no box office lights, no concession lights and no lobby lights except for a dim bulb above each of the rest room entrances, and yanked on the doors. I don't get it.

*A family of three showed up to see a movie at exactly start time. Since no one else had purchased tickets they were the only people watching that movie. They left after one hour. There is no rewind on a movie projector. Once it's started it has to play all the way through. So for one full hour the movie played to an empty house and I had to wait for it to get done before I could lock up and go home (the other two movies had finished much earlier). Grrrr....

Posted by Susie at 09:28 AM | Comments (5)

September 03, 2004

Words mean things!

I was going to blog about my impressions of the President's speech last night, but I'm too angry at the media weasels, the ones who keep referring to the terrorists that took the Russian school hostage as "militants" and "rebels," to write about anything else. A fifteen year-old who gets his tongue pierced is a rebel. A protestor who throws blood on a fur-wearer is a militant. Masked gunmen and bomb-strapped women who take a thousand people hostage and systematically shoot them or blow them up are murderers or terrorists or islamofascists! They are not just the misunderstood "other side" in a disagreement, which is how CNN and MSNBC and ABC are attempting to portray them. [I didn't bother to check the Communist Broadcasting System--what's the point?] Only Fox News seems to have the balls to call them what they are--terrorists.

And the networks wonder why more people turn to Fox for their news.....

Posted by Susie at 12:42 PM | Comments (6)

August 29, 2004

You get what you pay for

I hate people. I particularly hate the 1,343 people who came to my theater today to see Shrek 2 and Harry Potter 3. I hate some of them more than others: the ones who think they should be getting a $7.50 per ticket movie experience for their $1.50 per ticket.

If we had digital surround sound, we wouldn't be the freakin' DOLLAR MOVIES!!!!!

If you wanted to see the movie on a projector less than 30 years old, with a sound system from the last decade, in stadium seating, in a seat that doesn't creak with age every time you shift a little, you should've coughed up the extra six bucks to see it first run! Now quit yer bitchin!!!!

I do appologize for the leak in the roof, though. I've called the landlord--again.

Posted by Susie at 01:06 AM | Comments (5)

August 01, 2004

We thought the whole slut thing was behind us....

I should have known better than to read the latest (and hopefully my last) issue of Business Week. They've been actively campaigning for JF'ingK for months now, and the last few issues it has only gotten worse. This week they have an interview with him (did you know he was in Vietnam??) entitled "'I'll Restore America's Reputation'."

See, this is what our country gets for hanging around with perverts like Slick Willie. This is what happens when we go to bed with him twice. We get a reputation for being an easy lay, and, even though we are now dating a nice boy, people still remember the times we were slutty and throw it in our faces--including this latest Don Juan trying to get in our pants. So crawling into the sack with you is going to restore our sullied reputation, ketchup boy? When it was doing the dirty deed with your frat brother that ruined our reputation to begin with? When your pal was the one who convinced the world that we could be assaulted and we'd just lie there and take it? Our new boyfriend respects us. He's teaching us martial arts in case some other strangers try to take advantage of us. He's not afraid of a woman who can kick ass when necessary, unlike you and your fraternity friends, who would rather we just laid still and thought of England--or France, in your case.

We'll restore our own reputation, thank you. Now run along and try to seduce some country that hasn't learned its lesson...

Posted by Susie at 09:44 AM | Comments (5)

July 17, 2004

WTF is FUSF?????

Well, as if the government doesn't get enough of my hard-earned money sucked directly out of my paycheck every week, now they have an internet access tax! I am not making this up. People who are all for taxing evil capitalist businesses haven't figured out who really pays those taxes--we do!

Take, for an example, The Federal Universal Service Fund*.

Verizon Online is assessed the FUSF fee by its suppliers (companies that provide the network services Verizon Online uses to bring you DSL service), which are required to contribute to the Federal Universal Service Fund on revenues they receive for transporting Internet service over telephone lines.

So, Verizon, naturally, passes along the "required contribution" (tax!! just say tax!!!) to me in the form of a Supplier Federal Universal Service Fund Recovery fee.

From Verizon's site:

Q: Why do I have to pay a Supplier FUSF Recovery Fee on my Verizon Online DSL service if I’m already paying for it on my local Verizon telephone service?

A: Wireline broadband Internet access services are classified by the Federal Communications Commission as "information services", with a telecommunications component, rather than telecommunications services. In other words, your DSL service is classified as separate from your telephone service. Both types of services are subject to FUSF fees, even though they run on the same “wire line” into your home.

Q: Why does Verizon Online charge a Supplier FUSF Recovery Fee on Verizon Online DSL service and not on Verizon Online Dial-up service?

A: Verizon Online is not assessed the FUSF fee by its suppliers on dial-up service due to specific FUSF regulations concerning broadband Internet access.

Q: Where can I find out more information?

A: Much more information on the Federal Universal Service Fund, the Telecommunications Act of 1996, and what the FUSF is used for, can be found on the FCC’s Web site: www.fcc.gov.

Grrrr.....Now I have to pay an extra $2.34 a month internet access tax, on top of the all the other taxes and surcharges and fees (for example, I have to pay $7 a month for "Interstate non-primary access" for my phone, even though I don't make interstate--or any long distance--calls. Then there's the federal excise tax, the state sales tax, the telecommunications and relay services tax, the Federal Universal Service Fee tax, the 911 service tax...) That money has to come from somewhere, government folks! Unlike you, I can't just issue bonds....

Anybody for a tea party?



*Supposedly this tax is to keep phones and internet "affordable" for schools and public libraries. Hello!!!!!!!!! I'm already paying taxes to support schools and public libraries!!! Let them find the money in their current budget like everybody else! Sheesh....

Posted by Susie at 01:27 PM | Comments (5)

June 17, 2004

Strategic Mismanagement

I hate this class. It is the worst class with the worst text I have suffered through so far in my quest for the Holy Grail my Master's degree. As icing, all my free time is taken up with these stupid 4 page papers that are due every two weeks. They are agonizing to write because there is nothing of substance about them--four pages of double-spaced, 12 point Times New Roman bull excrement. And the more redundant my prose, the higher grade I get. To wit:

Microsoft needs to seriously address its security flaws issue. Grade: "C"

Microsoft has security flaws. These security flaws cause problems. These problems are a result of Microsoft's security flaws. Microsoft needs to fix their secuirty flaws so they won't have problems. Grade: "B"

I fear I will never be able to master the fifth grade prose style necessary to achieve an "A" in this class unless I get my eleven-year-old niece to write my papers for me.

I have one more page of double-talk to compose for this week's exercise in futility, and then the class will be half over, thank God! Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't teach, teach Graduate Business...

Posted by Susie at 10:42 AM | Comments (5)

June 15, 2004

Rant part one

I think I mentioned before that my textbook for the current class came with a thirteen issue subscription to Business Week. I think I also mentioned that I have noticed a "slight" liberal bias in this periodical's prose. The latest issue has a "tribute" to Ronald Reagan, and they don't even attempt to disguise their trashing of his legacy. I can sum up the entire article for you: Reagan did some stuff, but Clinton was better. I kid you not. Reagan cut taxes, but Clinton raised them and that was better. Reagan reduced the number of families living in poverty, but Clinton did it better.

While Reagan can't be blamed for globalization or other big economic shifts, he did little to ease the transition for workers.

Oh no! There was something that Reagan couldn't be blamed for! What are we going to do??? Well, let's make up a new roll for government--easing worker transition! Why, everyone knows that the government creates jobs, so the fact that Reagan didn't bother to make some new cushy union jobs for displaced workers just proves he was evil!

It's as if there is a law requiring every journalistic mention of any Republican to be cast in as derogatory as possible a light. Every good statement about a Republican must have a qualifying opposite, no matter how far-fetched. Every good statement about a Democrat is already "balanced" and therefore does not require qualifying....

Must go to work. To be continued....

Posted by Susie at 10:58 AM | Comments (4)

May 18, 2004

I do not like them, with a goat

Yes, it's ME--my preferences, I mean. But drat it! I hate hate hate when I click on a comments link and instead of a handy box popping up I get a new page!! EEEeewwww!!!!!!!!

I'm not talking "show comments"--I like seeing the comments displayed on the same page. What frosts my twinkies is when I want to read a blog's comments and it does the typepad thing--takes you to a whole 'nother page that you have to back out of to get to the posts again.

It was bad enough that typepad blogs did this, but now people are moving to PMachine and WordPress, which do that same horrible new page thing that typepad does, and the worst--the a-b-s-o-l-u-t-e worst is when MT blogs do it on purpose!!!!

By the way, the Survivor blog does have a lovely new decor. But I probably won't be commenting or reading the comments there anymore. Just as I seldom comment at Tiffany's or Blackfive's because it's too annoying, I won't be doing much commenting at Silver Blue's new place, either. My comment to this post would've just been "LOL" anyway.....

Posted by Susie at 12:57 PM | Comments (14)

May 03, 2004

They're not bad, they're just drawn that way

In my wanderings I can upon this statement:

The killings of the Fallujah Four, I think, were retribution for something that hasn't come to light yet.

Oh.My.God. Could there be a better example of the left's tendency to attribute the noblest of motives to everyone except the right? That evil is not really evil, just a reasonable response to provocation? (The poor Palestinians! The nasty Zionionists forced them to blow up all those school children!) That who commits an atrocity defines whether it is actually atrocious? (Baathists=misunderstood freedom fighers!)

I feel sick.

Live Journal<John of Argghhh!<Little Miss Attila

Posted by Susie at 11:35 AM | Comments (6)

April 17, 2004

Oh, Denis, there's some lovely filth down here!

The oh-so-delectable Johnny Oh posted about a retail experience a few days (ok, it was weeks, now that I do the numbers) back, but I was unable to offer salient commentary at the time because of work-related time constraints. Since we've gone back to "normal" business hours, I now have the opportunity to toss my two cents on the fire.

The substance of Johnny's complaint was "what I object to is you automatically treat me as an inferior." And while in his instance it was a co-worker who assumed Johnny was an idiot and thus made an ass of himself, I would estimate that 85 to 90% of the time, it is the customers who
1) Assume retail workers are drooling trogs who can't pin on their own name tags
2) Behave idiotically

As a retail manager, the one thing that really frosts my Frito's is when a customer with delusions of grandeur insults or tries to humiliate my "kids." Even worse is when they behave as if a clerk is some sort of subhuman, low I.Q. servant/punching bag.
So you're having a bad day--big deal! Is that any reason to get bitchy with the 17 year old behind the counter (who has already been accepted to IU's pre-med program) because the large popcorn costs four dollars? She didn't set the price! She also doesn't need you to tell her how much change you should be getting (since she's a math wiz studying Differential Calculus this term), and YES she's sure that she gave you a diet Pepsi, not a regular one. No, it's not her fault you can't read the clearly posted signs indicating which theater has which movie and you missed the first twenty minutes of "Miracle" sitting in "Lord of the Rings 3"--although I'm sure we can all understand how easily someone as superior as you are could mistake Orcs for the Soviet Olympic hockey team. And no matter how loudly you insist that the newspaper said our show time was 6:30, that is not going to change the fact that it's actually 4 and 9, and our competitor has the 6:30 show.

Every day they have to be polite to stupid customers, and it gets wearing after awhile. And we really don't pay them enough to put up with the idiots. Unfortunately, we'd have to raise the price of popcorn to $10 a bag to give them raises, and then we'd go out of business.

/rant (for now)

Posted by Susie at 10:14 AM | Comments (4)

March 25, 2004

Invective Alert: I'm pissed

A sick, twisted bitch calling herself "courtlady" is trying to stir up trouble for my dear friend notGeorge. Somebody should have chlorinated the gene pool before her aunt and uncle married each other and became her parents.

Part of me is laughing my head off at her stupidity:

I'm not sure anyone is really interested in your sick fascination with your own navel...

How dense does someone have to be to not "get" the joke of turning the phrase "navel gazing" into a literal activity?

But mostly I'm just pissed at the vile crap she's spewing:

or your recent post "March 06, 2004
I went. I saw, I drank, I drank some more, I told some jokes, I came home." How did you get home Tiger after consuming all that beer.........fly? Maybe the local law enforcement also needs to keep an eye on you closer and see if you can get one of those DUI's on your record like the young man who's history you chose to air in public. If elected to office, one of your main duties would be to prosecute DUI offenders. I would drum you out of the courtroom before you even got started. Now sling some more mud about the mistakes of others and I will quote you several more of your own indiscretions. You see, there are many people in this town that you think are your supporters and friends when the fact is, everything that comes out of your babbling mouth is recorded for future use. Keep talking, you are good at sticking your foot in your mouth.
Looks to me like he had two drinks--and they were probably Dr. Pepper, knowing his affinity for that beverage. But even if they were two beers, or two scotches, or a gallon of gatorade, notice how in her mind, that makes him a drunk?

This, of course, was rather telling:

Why do you continue to attack "your opponent, his family, and his dope smoking biker buddies" when you do not have the foggiest idea just how many citizens of this area are in fact kin to your opponent, you are so stupid that you do not realize that some of the most prominent citizens and elected officials are members of the motorcycle club and in fact would like to see your face rearranged for your vile comments about them, and last but not lease[sic], there are a great many people in the Republican Party who cringed when you filed to run because you are a disgrace to the community as a whole...

Obviously, she's "kin" to these redneck mouth-breathers stalwart fellows who seem to be "prominent citizens" and "elected officials" as well as bikers--sorry, members of a "motorcycle club"--who want to see the rearragement of my friend's face. Why else would the humorless twit take such glee in misquoting, twisting, and drawing sick conclusions from notGeorge's blog entries?

My dad always told me, "Obscenity is in the mind of the beholder." This clueless raisin has the filthiest mind I've come across in a long time...

classlesscourtwomyn: FOAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UPDATE: notGeorge fisks the troll! It is beauteous to behold...

Posted by Susie at 12:25 PM | Comments (2)

March 08, 2004

It's a long way to the top if you want to rock 'n roll

Jim over at SBD has a list of advice for kids. [Thanks to Ted for the pointer.] Number five jogged my sluggish brain cells regarding a rant I have.

Rule No. 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.

Spring break is coming up, when the theater will be open daily for afternoon matinées. Instead of the usual two employee-shifts a day (one cashier and one concessions clerk), there will be six (a cashier and two clerks for day and for night). So, naturally, half my staff is going to Florida. This means I have to hire at least one cashier and two concessions clerks just to have minimal staffing for that week. Everybody is going to end up with fewer hours in the long run, but rule #9 hasn't sunk in for them yet.

Frequently I will hire friends of current employees, and most of the time it works out. Last month when I posted the "help wanted" sign, one of my clerks told me he had a friend who needed a job. I interviewed the friend, it went very well, and I hired him. On his first day he filled out all his paperwork, got his uniform shirt, and survived orientation. Then he no showed/no called his first training shift.

According to my clerk, his friend had decided that working concessions was "beneath him."

!!!??!??!!

Holy Freakin' Moly!!!!!! The young man in question had shown signs of at least minimal intelligence, or I wouldn't have hired him. And I grant you that selling popcorn and performing brain surgery are not comparable skills. But this kid was not destined to be a brain surgeon anyway.

And maybe that is the problem. You see, I have a cashier who is destined to be a physician. She's been accepted at IU and will be studying pre-med. She's conscientious, punctual and reliable. If she wasn't still in High School I'd can Ass. Man. and replace him with her in a New York minute. She is at least as intelligent as I am (and that's pretty intelligent!). She started in concessions, and did such a great job she was transferred to cashier, and whenever she's working I know she's got my back. And when she heads off it college it's going to be tough to replace her.

So I guess the moral of this story is if you think selling popcorn is "beneath" you, then you are really beneath it. And the kids who think the world owes them a living are never going to match the ones who know it doesn't.

(And if you think the folks selling you the popcorn are beneath you, then you are so far beneath them you'll need a shovel just to get to ground level--but that's a rant for another time....)

Posted by Susie at 11:31 AM | Comments (9)

February 26, 2004

I hate moral dilemmas....

Dedicated readers know that Wednesday and Thursday are my "weekend." Unfortunately I'm having to work this weekend. Ass. Man. had to take his mom to Indy for surgery, and so I am working his shifts. Originally it was only supposed to be his Wednesday, for which he traded me Monday. But when I got to work on Tuesday, there was a lovely note from him that he "probably" wouldn't be in on Thursday.

This is bad. Thursday is when we make-up and tear-down movies. We have one going out and two new ones coming in. I was shown the procedure once--over a year ago. We also have 2 special showings tonight, for a company that is doing a customer appreciation night; they have almost 500 total people coming, and the film they have chosen has to be moved into the bigger theater, and the one already there switched to the smaller one. For two months now I have been planning to go in for a few hours tonight to make sure the showing goes smoothly, but now it appears that instead of two managers to handle problems there will be only one, and, because when I did the scheduling I thought Ass. Man. would be there, we are going to be short-handed as well. (Plus I'll have to stay the whole 9 hours).

Part of me really wants to fire him if he doesn't show up tonight. Come on, now--leaving me a note???? That I wouldn't get until he was already out of town???? For a trip that had been planned weeks in advance??? For the one night of the work week that he really is indispensable??? Which coincides with the largest special event we have ever hosted??? How freakin' irresponsible is that?????

The more compassionate side of me is going, "Aww, he's just a kid, and his mom's having surgery--he's worried and distracted." The professional side of me is screaming "He's a freakin' manager!!!! He should behave like one!!!!"

Even if he rolls in on time for his shift, we are going to have a talk. (A note!??!!??). If he doesn't make it in at all....well, he wouldn't be the first person I've fired, and not even the first Assistant Manager, either...
I don't like doing it, but I will if I have to. Damn it.

UPDATE: Ass. Man. made it in to work on time. He left the note because it occurred to him there was a possibility his mom wouldn't be released on time. Unfortunately, he wrote he "probably" wouldn't be in, instead of saying it was a possibility, based on the outcome of the surgery. Sometimes it's very difficult to believe that English is his first language. He's a math whiz, though. I'll bet if he'd written it in fractions and cosines, it would've made sense...

Posted by Susie at 11:04 AM | Comments (6)

February 03, 2004

Nothing like a liberal education...

The age-old dilemma--do I write or do I read? Do I blog, or do I enjoy what others have blogged? It seems like there just aren't enough non-work hours in the day to do both. Add to this the fact that Mozilla is still locking up, making blog surfing a bit of a chore rather than a pleasurable pastime, and voilà! the makings of a fine whine are to hand....

So, I'll whine about my class this semester instead. It's stupid. It's one of the stupidest classes I've taken so far in my quest for the elusive MSM. In fact, this class is so torturous that you'd think it was for a Mistress of Sado-Masochism instead of Masters of Science in Management.

What is this travesty of educational dollars? you wonder. Well, it's Human Relations Management. So far we have devoted 75% of our time and energy to sexual harassment in the workplace, and the other 25% to workplace diversity.

Now, I can certainly see how these two topics are worthy of coverage. But wouldn't a simple "sexual harassment bad; diversity good" have sufficed? Do we still have to be obsessing over it 7 chapters into the book? Do we have to be assigned a 6 page paper "case study" on a sexual harassment case from 1994?

Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm just too sensible. Or maybe I'm just too old to be offended by suggestive remarks very easily. The victims in case study were all barely out of their teens, after all. And teenagers, as I know too well, are to drama as cows are to methane. Now I'm not saying that young ladies should tolerate being groped by their lecherous bosses or even their lecherous co-workers. Nor should they lose their jobs when they say "Leave me the hell alone!" But we've covered that, already. It's time to move on. The next two chapters are on Workforce Training and Performance Management. I hope nobody's groping anyone in them, otherwise I'm really gonna wonder about the author of this text...

Posted by Susie at 02:04 PM | Comments (6)

December 30, 2003

If I wasn't at death's door I would be outraged

CD of Semi-Intelligent Thoughts is one of the two newest Munuvians (Linda of Civilization Calls is the other). I need to add them to my blogroll, so I headed over to CD's for his url. By the time I got there, I had forgotten why I went, and soon I was again wandering the blogosphere in a delirium, where I found two items that, if I weren't sick, would have me seething. The first is this[bold emphasis mine]:

I made a comment about how, yeah, extreme views on either side of the spectrum are bad when taken overboard - what is needed is real discussion considering all the sides of the issue.

I was given an odd look and told that liberals are never wrong and their views are appropriate for class, since liberals are open-minded and tolerant and that's what higher education is about: liberalizing the students.

which I found at Conservative English Major (I clicked the link at S-I Thoughts because I thought it was about a Tory British Military Officer). That's not the only post that disturbed me....
...the English department doesn't get enough funding because the administration (and the legislature - this is a public University) is afraid we are all a bunch of "pinko commies." Another student asked "Well, aren't we?" And the professor replied, without a trace of irony or humor: "I certainly hope so."

From there I wandered here and learned that the President of William & Mary is an idiot, and thence to this blog which had a link to the other story that frosted my muffins--Food Fight.
Anyone with a modicum of sense and fairly low blood pressure needs to read that article.

Busybodies are looking to control one of the most basic of human functions—eating. Presidential candidate Joe Lieberman wants the Federal Trade Commission to investigate snack-food and soft-drink marketing. New York state assemblyman Felix Ortiz promotes a draconian "Twinkie tax." At least one person who's had the Bush Administration's ear has bought into the idea that Americans are not accountable for their own weights. "Many people believe that dealing with overweight and obesity is a personal responsibility," former Surgeon General David Satcher recently said. "To some degree they are right, but it is also a community responsibility." It takes a Samoan village.

Now the Left devotes entire "conferences" to undermining and out-lawing the dreaded "R" word...
In a session titled "The Politics of Food," Skip Spitzer of the radical Pesticide Action Network added that "the idea of 'personal responsibility'" is merely "a cultural construct," ready to be superseded for our own good.

As angry as these examples of "only we commies know what's good for you" ordinarily make me, I can't even work up a good rant in my weakened condition. Which brings me to the point of this post:

Beware the Evil Liberal Conspiracy-Created Virus!!! It causes loss of outrage and inability to give them a good what-for!

Posted by Susie at 05:20 PM | Comments (3)

November 26, 2003

Braless Blogging

Heather brought it up, Harvey elaborated, and now I'm continuing to move the discussion on a tangent.

As a woman who has flunked the pencil test since she was 16 years old, wearing a brassiere is a necessary evil for me. I hate it, but I do it--at least in public. But once I'm home, the bra goes. Ah, the relief! The unfettered freedom! I'm blogging braless right now. I would estimate that 90 to 95% of my blogging has been braless, because I usually do it when I get up in the morning or after I get home from work late at night. Yes, I'm usually wearing my nightie when I blog. There's a running joke about women and shoes--lots of shoes. I only have two pairs of shoes I wear regularly. Shoes don't do it for me. I am a lingerie junkie. Silk, satin, cotton, flannel--name a fabric, I have half a dozen nightgowns made from it. In winter I layer them--a long sleeved flannel gown over a thin satin-and-lace one. I have several drawers full of panties, chemises and teddies. And I have probably two dozen bras--not one of which is comfortable to wear.

Why can't they make a comfortable bra for women who flunk the pencil test? Is the basic engineering really that difficult? If it's pretty and lacey it's about as supportive as the Emperor at an A.N.S.W.E.R. rally. If it supports, it looks like something they used to restrain the less lucid inmates at Bedlam, and is about as comfortable as Ted Rall at a Dittohead convention. Don't even mention the "underwire" to me. How is a curved piece of metal digging into my ribs supposed to provide support to my breasts? Maybe an undernet, or an undersaucer, or even an underplate, but a wire????? pu-lease.....

Someone, somewhere, needs to design a bra that is pretty, supportive, and comfortable. When they do, they'll make a fortune (even if I'm the only one that buys it....)

UPDATE: Since there seems to be some confusion as to the meaning of the "pencil test" let me explain: since I am able to hold a pencil against my chest using only my breasts, the latter are large enough to require external supports. If you "pass" the pencil test, you can safely venture out into the world without breast restraints (which are necessary to minimize damage to certain muscles which occurs in those who "flunk" the test if support is eschewed.)

Posted by Susie at 11:53 AM | Comments (35)

November 24, 2003

For the Love of God, Please Stop!

Grrr....I hate Sunday! But only because I'm stuck all day in the Technology Free Zone™ and it takes me two days to catch up with the blogosphere. I have to leave for work in a little while, and I've still only read a third of my usual favorites (because the ones I have read keep linking to new (to me) interesting ones I have to go read...when will it end? Stop! Please stop! There are too many good blogs! Someone needs to stop Good Blog Proliferation NOW, before I have to quit my job to keep up!)

Thanks. I needed to get that off my chest.

Posted by Susie at 12:59 PM | Comments (3)

November 13, 2003

Grrr... Part 2

Nothin' again. Bloggers' Block. Watching that little cursor throb can be hypnotic.

Ok, now I've got something--censorship. Specifically, Carnival of the Vanities censorship. Fellow Munuvian Jim of Snooze Button Dreams entered an erotic vignette and the Host of this week's Carnival of the Vanities refused to include it.

This ticks me off. It's a great post of the "women's fiction" genre (I know, I've read a lot of women's fiction in my life) and clearly labled that it's adult-oriented. The hypocritical thing is that the very first Carnival entry is a bunch of sex jokes called "unusual virus warnings" (example:VIAGRA VIRUS: Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.) That's okay, apparently.
The next thing you know, Carnival Hosts will start omitting posts they disagree with politically, or "editing for content", or maybe even picking a different post than the one submitted (I didn't like the typos in your November 3th post, so I've linked to the November 4th one).

Everybody (except Mookie) go read
The Somnolence of Clouds and give Jim some moral support. (And Harvey--make sure your space bar is working properly first!)

Posted by Susie at 09:24 AM | Comments (6)

November 12, 2003

Grrr......

Comment spammers need to roast in hell 'til they are crispy on all sides and then be stomped into little bits by hobnailed boots. Then the bits fed to wombats.

Posted by Susie at 12:51 PM | Comments (7)

November 11, 2003

Unremitting Stupidity....

If you have a weak stomach or a low tolerance for stupidity, do not read this post of Kevin's at Wizbang!. Some days I really think I should have called my blog "what is wrong with people???"

Posted by Susie at 11:26 AM | Comments (0)

October 24, 2003

A Public Service Alert

Ladies and Gentlemen: A Guest Rant from my brother PK...

What’s In YOUR Wallet?

So much for a “No Hassle Credit Card.”
A few nights ago, I received an email statement reminder from my credit card company. I though this was odd, since I have had a zero balance for a while and I have not recently used the card. I hopped online to see what was up. I login to the credit card website and I find a “pending charge” for $24.95. I call the CC Company and I learn that it is from “NSS Magazine Outlet.” I never heard of them so I make a new call to the NSS’s 800 phone number that my CC provided. I reach a sexy-female-voicemail-system for “The Magazine Service Center,” in which the first option she says is, "If you are calling regarding a charge on your statement, or wish to cancel, press 1 now." Kinda suspicious, I think, for a Magazine company to have, as option 1, a choice to address problems with a credit card charge. Makes me think they EXPECT this, and it's too suspicious, and I decide to hang up. So, I research the company on the web and find tons of complaints about them, many posted at http://badbusinessbureau.com . NSS appears to use unauthorized credit card numbers to charge fraudulent amounts for un-requested, non-existent, magazine subscriptions. Then, I read, when you call to complain, they will ask for more personal information and then try to talk you into approving the fraudulent charges. Ok. I get it. I am a victim of credit card fraud. I don’t know exactly how they got a hold of my CC number, but it doesn’t matter now. It happens to the best of us, now I just need to deal with it and simply make my credit card company aware so they will take care of it. No problem...right?

It's around 8PM. I call my CC Company and, after punching in numbers for 2 minutes to log into their phone system, I reach a human (I think) and I spill my guts. I explain that I never heard of the NSS Magazine Outlet, I explain that it is a fraudulent charge, I simply ask to have the charge removed, and I want to have my CC number changed to PREVENT them from posting any more fraudulent charges. The girl tells me that she can cancel my card, but she can't order a new one until tomorrow. Fine. Whatever.

She tells me that once I get my statement next month, I can write a letter explaining my dispute and mail it to them, and they will review it, blah blah blah... I tell her I need her to take care of it now. I am letting her know NOW that the charge is fraudulent. She tells me I have to call the special Disputes line, extension 1215, tomorrow regarding my disputed charge, but they are only open during limited hours when it is inconvenient for me to call. Of course.

Then she let's me know, "as a courtesy," that now, even though my CC card account is closed, this will in no way prevent anyone ELSE from charging fraudulent amounts to my name. I cannot use the card number myself anymore, but apparently Kennedy’s will have no problem (Kennedy is PK slang for "criminal"). But, if more fraudulent charges do occur, I may dispute each charge in writing. Wow! Sounds like a good time! Who needs the Bravo Network when one can just sit at home all day contesting the deeds of petty Kennedy’s?

So the next day I have to use up my lunch break to call their "dispute line" from work (where several co-workers get to bask in every-syllable I utter). Unfortunately, since I can't log-in to the credit card company's phone system anymore (now that my card is cancelled), I have to deal with some phone operator human (I think), who, by the tone of her voice, seems to assume I am a Kennedy that has just murdered the REAL card holder. After finally verifying my identity, I ask her to connect me to the Disputes department.
... silence ...
"Hello?" I say. "The Disputes dept., extension 1215." I repeat.
... pause...
"We need a five number listing to direct your call," She mumbles.
Huh? "I was given a four digit extension. 1215. THE DISPUTES DEPARTMENT." I reply.
"What is this in regards to?" She asks.
I should have said, "I am obviously calling to order a pizza, you Glittering JEWEL of Colossal Ignorance!"
Instead, I replied cooperatively, "Well, I am calling to dispute a fraudulent charge on my account."
... pause...
"Uh huh ? ... She yearns for more explanation...
So, I explain the whole thing to her, thinking, "Ok, she must be going to help me herself."
After I finish my story, and now that my co-workers have overheard all the details of my CC tragedy, I await to hear this lady's course of action to finally resolve my simple request…
"Ok, let me connect you to the correct department for that." She concludes.
AAAAHHH!!! What a JEWEL!

After being on hold for several minutes, some guy picks up who says,
"Sir, I understand your credit card was cancelled by accident?"
... pause ... (as I try to pick up my jaw, which is resting on my desk)
"No." I say.
"Are you calling about your card being cancelled by mistake?" he asks again.
"No. Not at all." I reply.
"Oh." he says.
... pause ...
"What were you calling about?" He asks.
"As I explained to the woman who I spoke to before you, I am calling to dispute a fraudulent charge on my credit card."
"Oh, do you know who they are?" he asks.
“What?” I say. (I don’t understand the nature of the question.)
"Do you know who made the charge?" he asks.
"Yes, the NSS Magazine Outlet is what YOUR Company verified yesterday." I said.
"I mean, do you KNOW them? Do you do business with them?" he asks.
"NO. I have never heard of them before yesterday. I don't do business with them. It is a fraudulent charge. I have found on the Internet hundreds of complaints of how that company is fraudulently charging peoples credit cards, and I am letting you know that they have done it to one of your customers...namely, ME,...and I want the charge stopped. "
"So, you don't know who they are? You haven't approved that charge?" He asks.
AAAAHHH!!! What a JEWEL!
I repeat, "NO! I have never heard of them before yesterday! I don't do business with them! It is a fraudulent charge!"
He brilliantly tells me that once I get my statement next month, I can write a letter explaining my dispute and mail it to them, and they will review it, blah blah blah... (Whooda thunkit?)
I tell him I need him to take care of it now. I am letting him know NOW that the charge is fraudulent.
"You have to dispute in writing." He says. “That’s the dispute policy.”
"OK. Then why do you have a dispute line, if I can't dispute a charge over the phone?!"
"I don't know." He says.
"Let me speak to somebody who does know, is your supervisor there?" I say.
"I am the supervisor." He says.
We went back and forth for a while, but I was not allowed to dispute the charge except in writing.
So, apparently, any common Kennedy can go and charge up whatever they want without so much as filing a piece of paper, but I have to write a damn letter to protect MY own interests.
I.AM.PISSED.

PK

Posted by Susie at 11:58 AM | Comments (7)

October 13, 2003

My goat was got

Kelley of Suburban Blight has the Cul-de-Sac up, and very kindly mentions my post about my moral dilemma on linking to a bigotted blogger. She also apprised me of the unfortunate retirement of S-Train from blogging. So, rather than my own link-fest, you all are going to get a rant instead....

Every blogger is different--some convey, some elaborate, some exaggerate and some just plain make stuff up. But the bloggers in question assume that their readers are intelligent enough to know the difference between fact and fiction, opinion and satire, fantasy and delusion, and react accordingly. Which brings up a recurring theme of mine:

What is wrong with people?

Particularly "Andrew H" and "jim long" and the other orcs who led the harrassment in S-Train's comments.
What next for these yokels with too much time on their hands? Start demanding that Tiger post his law degree so they know he is a real lawyer?
How about Mookie? Planning on stopping by there to demand she prove she is a teenager because she posts about High School?
Or me? Are they going to bombard my site administrator demanding to know my whereabouts so they can see a movie for a dollar?

This is not journalism, folks. This is blogging. This is about people spouting off their opinions, musing on the events of their day, sharing a joke with friends. A blog is not a police blotter or a newspaper or a scholarly journal and the orcs who think otherwise need to have their internet access yanked from them and their keyboards covered with molasses.

S-Train, we'll miss you.

Posted by Susie at 11:21 AM | Comments (6)

September 28, 2003

Lame post #672b

It seems like all I post lately is apologies for not posting! Well, here's another one...
Today is my "long" day, meaning I work open to close, and on the weekend that's noon to midnight. So it will be tomorrow before I get home tonight, and I have no gratutious linkage! The Linkmistress of Chaos™ cannot post from the Technology Free Zone™, remember....

However, I do have a short rant I need to vent--What the heck is wrong with people? Last night we had customers coming to see Freddy vs. Jason with their toddlers in tow! I even had one lady argue that she shouldn't have to pay for her 2-year-old, because the child was going to sit on mom's lap! Hello! They rate these movies "R" for a reason!
Another woman was going to buy two tickets for a couple of pre-teen girls. When I explained that under 17 must be accompanied by a parent or guardian, she argued that her kids see worse on cable. Hello? If you can't stand to sit through a hack-em-up yourself, why in God's name are you willing to let your 11-year-old see it?
What is wrong with people?

Posted by Susie at 11:07 AM | Comments (5)

September 18, 2003

Note to Tiger


Tiger:

One of my most favorite movie quotes of all time:

Cher to Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck: "Snap outa it!"

Posted by Susie at 09:26 PM | Comments (1)

September 14, 2003

The fallacy of moral relativism

Anybody with half a brain and the will to use it want to see something that will tick you off?

It's this comment posted on Frank's 9-11 piece:

I'm sorry, but you reap what you sow. And even if it was planned and carried out by Islamic terrorists all the way (in case of which i don't condone it, but of which I'm not at all sure), it should make the american people rethink their role in the world. Already you are facing a difficult situation in Iraq in terms of casualties and limited amount of troops available and therefore asking the help of basically the French pricks, communist China and corrupt Russia. Now, of course they love the present situation where the US has to clean up the mess they themselves created. And they are going to come along eventually, when they've squeezed enough concessions out of you.

And if you look closely, at present in Iraq, the only "allies" the US has are nations that stand to gain something from the campaign. The brits are pushing this "special relations" thing, Poland is basically sucking up tp you - hoping to shift the power epicenter of europe a little to the north-east, with your help and support of course and they are also a new NATO member so they need to show themselves. And Australia - I'm sorry to say but Australia with it's 15 million people just DESPERATELY needs you against those 200 million rather unstable Indonesians right next to them. I myself am coming from a country that also has troops in Iraq and supports the government, but popular support for this is meek. As it is all over the world, including among other major allied nations. Fulfillment of Brzezinskis plan (of US domination in the long run) is looking mighty questionable right about now.


Posted by: Dinah Might on September 11, 2003 10:07 PM

Miss Dinah, my first impulse is to tell you to get your head out of your ass, but I am a lady, and don't use language like that. So, I'm sorry but you are a complete idiot. No, that's not very polite, even if it is true, so I will start again.

Ms. Might, your thinly disguised pleasure that close to three thousand people were killed and billions of dollars worth of property damaged by a group of fanatics who would just as willingly have killed you and all your loved ones and danced in the street to celebrate it is exceedingly distasteful to citizens of a country that has spent the last century coming to tha aid of billions of people around the world with gifts of food, medicine, money and in some cases the lives of our brothers, sons and husbands. You are denegrating a nation that helps its enemies rebuild after they have been destroyed by war of the enemy's making. I pity you for your narrow-minded smugness and remind you that the United States has been cleaning up other countries' messes since before your grandparents were born in whichever education-deprived, media-brainwashed country you now reside.
In the future, please keep your mindless parroting of Hollywood airheads and blowhards to youself. Thank you.

F.E.T.E.

Posted by Susie at 01:23 AM | Comments (7)

September 10, 2003

Invective alert

Well, I was going to spend the morning catching up on my blog reading, but these two posts over at Silver Blue's got me ranting, and rather that fill his comments with invective I figured I'd let loose over here in my well-appointed, Pixy Misa-provided space.

I never really paid much attention to stories about Napster or MP3's because I don't download music, and I hardly ever buy CDs because my car radio is tuned to the Oldies station and I already have Emerson Lake and Palmer and Billy Idol on CD. But if by some bizarre chance I should decide I needed to buy a new CD, there is NO WAY IN HELL I would pay 19.99 for it! Heck, I won't even pay that much for a DVD! If a movie I want costs more than $20 on DVD, I buy it on VHS.

The problem, you see, is disposable income. I don't have very much of it, and so what I do have is spent mostly on those regressive cigarettes taxes that are supposedly intended to stop teenagers from smoking.

CLUE alert: Teenagers are the only ones who can afford to pay $5.00 for a pack of cigarettes! Mommy and Daddy pay for their housing, clothes, utilities, and usually car and car insurance too. Teenagers probably have more discretionary income than Bill Gates, who no doubt has most of his funds tied up in a few business ventures. So anybody who wants to get a "sluggish" economy going again needs to get serious about repealing federal and state excise taxes on cigarettes. And before some idiotarian jumps in to comment that the money goes to repay the state for medical expenses for lung cancer victims, let me pre-emptively say "Bullshit!".

If smoking "causes" cancer, why hasn't every smoker who ever lived gotten it? My mom's dad smoked camel straits til the day he died of stroke at age 83. My beloved Aunt Letty who started smoking in the 1950s was 82 when she passed away from complications from a stroke a few years ago. Both my parents, who are 75 and 73, have smoked all of their adult lives. (Dad was actually 13 when he started smoking, so he has been a smoker for 62 years--and if he should happened to develop lung cancer anytime soon I suspect that the fact that as a child he had annual chest x-rays for TB might have something to do with it). Several of mom's sisters, who are currently in their late 80's, are smokers.
Two of my Dad's other sisters also died of stroke, at ages 76 and 81--but neither of them ever smoked (and one joined the convent in 1943, so "second-hand" smoke cannot be blamed for her death!). Geneticly speaking, I am far more likely to die of "natural causes" or accident than smoking-induced cancer.
On the other hand, people whose families have a genetic propensity toward cancer would probably be wise to not smoke, just to be on the safe side. But making me pay more because they have defective genes is not fair or reasonable!

Frigging democrats....it's all that socialist Howard Dean's fault....

Posted by Susie at 10:49 AM | Comments (4)

September 04, 2003

Inane post #793

The boys are all like "oh, football is so cooool!" and I'm all like "whaaat-ev-er".

Harvey (who only started watching football in a channel surfing accident) has another great grafitti money exhibit.

Bill is dreaming about me now... (sorry, Alice--I must have taken a wrong turn at the water park!)

And I really started to blog because I wanted to share what I think is the world's stupidest bumper sticker. I saw it on a Emerald-colored Yuppie SUV which also had the world's second stupidest bumper sticker. The world's second-stupidest bumper sticker said "Green" in big letters, and I think, gee she must really like the color green. Then at the next stop light I am close enough to read the subscript: "Save the Earth." What an arrogant bint! The Earth is much more likely to destroy us with earthquakes and typhoons and ice ages than we anything could ever do would permanently damage it. So that bumper sticker is really pretty stupid.

But the stupidest bumpersticker, the world's stupidest ever, said: "War is Terrorism." Gotta be a misprint, right? They meant to say "Terrorism is War." ...except there is that environmentalist wacko bumper sticker next to it...

Yuppie Liberals. God spare us....

UPDATE: Frank's got a troll infestation!
I think the uneducated brain-oxygen-deprived IQ-challenged individual mistook Frank for the Emperor....

If anyone would like to fisk its droppings, here you go:

Ah the smell of a republican in the morning air. The only thing better is a pile of dead republicans. Dont u retards realize u are evil when the same people u r voting for are also being elected by neo nazis. Im going to devote my whole live to fucking over republicans. Why do u believe that its a good thing to not help poor people? My only other question is why i havent killed u yet. I would rather enjoy chopping u in half and then carving 666 in ur forehead and then show ur dead body to all republicans until they start helping people in need. Ignorance isnt bliss because i will end up making u go through a excruciating and painfull death u dumb fuck. Posted by at September 4, 2003 09:02 PM
Sorry i couldnt find a place to comment on ur nuke the moon essay but here will do fine. When u say people would rather pick on the person who avoids conflict you are speaking from the republican view. Republicans are sissys and homosexuals who disrespect women. Picking on the little "whennie" is just another way that u use to lie to urself about the fact that u r a homosexual. FUck REPUBLICANS. YOU ARE ALL TRASH. Posted by at September 4, 2003 09:09 PM

UPDATE: It wasn't done...

When i think of Republicans there are too many things that would make me want to kill them. Hence the three posts today. The reason you guys are pro guns is because u are wankers and trash. Only sissys need guns to protect their insecurities. Real men and women fight without weapons.

Women are beautiful so you republican pieces of shit need to start direspecting them. Danm you guys are just trash.
Posted by at September 4, 2003 09:30 PM

[What kind of moron uses the term "hence" but doesn't know that a complete sentence requires a subject and a predicate? (I also love that it makes that freudian slip when it says it wants Republicans to start "disrespecting" women...) Ed.]

Posted by Susie at 08:10 PM | Comments (4)

August 21, 2003

Early morning rant

Ok, THIS annoys me. Specificly (emphasis mine):

BAGHDAD (Reuters) - Rescuers hauled more bodies from the ruins of the United Nations headquarters in Baghdad on Thursday, raising to 23 the number killed in a devastating truck bomb attack, as the world debated how to respond.

Pardon me, but isn't that a teensy bit egocentric? There have been terrorist attacks on U.S. troops since May... did the world "debate" how to "respond" to those? Is there a "world debate" on the "response" to the most recent bus bombing in Isreal? Did the world "debate" how to "respond" to the Bali bombing? The world, the real world, has been dealing with terrorism for decades--but now that the U.N. has been a target, it is suddenly worthy of "world debate"???

Okay, okay...it's probably some journalist looking for a catchy headline...the U.N. can't really think that it's more important than its members, can it? That would be, well, communist!

U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan and Secretary of State Colin Powell were to meet later in the day in New York to discuss a U.N. resolution that could provide greater security in Iraq.

Um, excuse me? A U.N. resolution is going to provide greater security? That is sooo cool! Holy cow! Alert the media! Oh, wait, they already did... So if the U.N. is so powerful that a single resolution can provide greater secuity in Iraq, why didn't they do that months ago? And why haven't they passed a resolution that cures AIDS?

Well, at least they aren't blaming America this time....

Annan questioned reports that the U.N. mission in Baghdad had refused offers of tighter U.S. security before the blast. "I don't know if the United Nations did turn down an offer for protection. But if it did, it was not correct and they should not have been allowed to turn it down," he said.

Oops! I spoke too soon...Well, at least we now know that the head of the U.N. admits that the U.S. knows what's best for people and in the future we should just go ahead and do whatever we think is right despite U.N. opinion....

It's about time they got one thing right...


Posted by Susie at 08:53 AM | Comments (4)

August 16, 2003

Not a War Update....

Today is the start of the hellish weekend work schedule (6-12 tonight, 12-12 tomorrow and 12-6 on Monday). Unfortunately for me, my Assistant is NOT taking his college courses via the internet, and this semester he has classes both Monday and Tuesday, so starting next week, since I have to work ALL of Monday and Tuesday, I am going to make him split Sunday with me! Then I will be off on Wednesday and Thursday (or maybe half of Thursday? I wrote it down somewhere....), unless the owner's experiment of being open for matinees once school starts is successful, in which case I'm going to have to change the schedule again, because he (the owner) told me the 12 hour days during the week were only for the summer, and I am frigging sick of them! It was one thing to be working 9 hours without a break 4 days a week, and 12 hours without a break the other day, but it has been completely horrible working multiple 12 hour days, with only one day off a week....

Anybody want my job? The hours are long, but the pay is low.....

Posted by Susie at 04:27 PM | Comments (3)

August 06, 2003

Ranting

Tuning Spork has two terrific new posts today, but the one nearer and dearer to my heart is the fisking he gives the government for taxing cigarettes... I think he missed an important point regarding this statement:

Bill Clinton's favorite excuse, when calling for federal tobacco taxes, was to claim that it would keep cigarettes out of the mouths of The Children(TM).

The Children ™ are most able to afford these draconian taxes because they have the most disposable income! And The Children ™ have friends over 18 who will buy cigarettes for them (just as they have friends over 21 who wil buy them beer), so the fact that my local Walgreens has a sign proclaiming, and a policy mandating, that it cards for cigarettes if you look under 40 is nothing more than harrassment!

I can hear the anti-smokers now....blah blah blah second-hand blah smelly blah allergies blah blah...

So you know what? I think that women with fat legs and vericose veins who wear shorts are sickening to look at. So we should tax the sale of all shorts to pay for the treatment of pregnancy. Wait, let's tax shorts to pay for abortions to prevent vericose veins! Problem solved!

I'm done... for now....

Posted by Susie at 10:17 AM | Comments (2)

August 03, 2003

Ping Pong

Honest to goodness, what is it with MT lately? Either it sends 3 pings at a time, or none! sheesh! And it's sloooooowwwwww, too! Pixy, did I overload the memory with my stupid logo attempts? Can we delete them somehow if I did? Waaaahh!

Ok, I am going to manually enter the pings for this post, and everybody needs to go read the previous post (except Frank and John who got pinged the first time...probably multi-pinged!)

I think that's everybody...here goes! ping storm!

Ok now this is getting frustrating!!! I have published this twice and only 2 pings went through! And I need Tiger's to go through so he knows that I love him, and Kevin's to go through so I win the link-whorage for the week at his blog.

Sigh....one more try.....

Posted by Susie at 10:28 AM | Comments (3)

July 31, 2003

It really IS all about the oil.....

Does anybody know why it took 18 hours for some mosquito bites I got to start itching? I was at a friend's who lives in the country on Tuesday night, and had to smoke on the patio; I went back in the house when I felt a couple bites, but they didn't start to itch until the next day at work (where they provided a welcome distraction from Another Day in Hell).

Ok, it wasn't quite as bad as the day we got the notice from the city that they were going to shut off our water for non-payment. But it was pretty much on par with the day we ran out of popcorn. You see, yesterday, our supply order never showed up.

Well, I just lost the rest of this post by accidently hitting some bizarre keyboard shortcut that I wasn't aware of. It was very amusingly written too. So that means that you now get the shorthand version:

We have no oil. We cannot make popcorn without oil. I hate my job. I hate my employees, my bosses, the customers, and the company that can't come til Friday to fix the door that fell off its closing hinge and is propped open to keep it from falling on anyone so that now every time the Hulk roars it reverberates thoughout the entire lobby and makes me want to strangle Ang Lee. I hate my dsl provider and I hate my computer chair. I hate school and my professors and my homework and while I'm at it I'm going to hate whiny liberals who write stupid lying pamphlets and distribute them to my 16 year old employees so they will go join "not in our name" or whatever they're calling their "We Hate Bush So Much We Make Things Up To Make Ourselves Feel Better" campaign this week. I hate raspberry. I hate mushrooms. I hate the smell of bleach. I am feeling very Chompsian today and hate the fact that my teeth are not as strong and sharp as his.....

Whew! I better go read some good blogging and calm down....(and there'd better be some ....)

Posted by Susie at 09:44 AM | Comments (8)

July 28, 2003

Rebuttal

Frank unapologetically explains the Netflix ad. For an alternative viewpoint, read this. But the real problem here is not so much that it's an ad, or that it's an ad for Netflix, but that it's a banner across the top of the main page....sigh.

Posted by Susie at 08:01 AM | Comments (6)

July 24, 2003

Addendum

First, thanks to Tim for pointing out my typo in the previous post. I have to leave it now, though, or else your funny comment wouldn't make sense.

Next: Frank.....Ok, Frank, I am as big a supporter of capitalism as the next girl, but honestly--just about everybody is trying to get off Bogsplot, and here you go trying to get it to be fashionable again with a big banner ad across the top of your blog.
Not. gonna. happen.

Not only is it ugly, distracting, slow to load and causes anguished flashbacks to bogsplot days for those of us who started with their free service, it also is environmentally unfriendly and causes syphilis in laboratory animals....

But wait! There's more!

Netflix is great--for your two week free trial. Then, at least in my case, once I ponied up the Benjamins for a "real" membership, all of a sudden nothing I had in the top 30 spaces in my rental queue was available anymore.... So say I signed up in January to rent Final Destination 2. And I kept it at #1 in my rental queue all though its release date of this past Tuesday. Would I get it? Nope. Doubtless they sent all the copies to the folks still in their two week trial, trying to convince them how great the service is and how they'll never have to go to a video store again.

I was a real patsy. I kept opting for more and more expensive programs in the fruitless hope that I would actually get a new release before it hit the dollar-for-a-week shelf at my local video store. Nope. No dice. They just burrowed deeper down into my rental queue sending me obscure titles that I really had only added as a sort of personal some-day-when-I'm-old-and-gray-and-need-a-change-of-pace-from-soaking-my-dentures-I-might-want-to-watch-this list.

So I got crafty. I deleted everything on my list that wasn't a must-see new release. And then I got nada. nothing. zip. I was paying vast sums of money for the privledge of receiving no movies from Netflix, and still renting them from the video store. Thank God I lost my last job and had to cancel, or I would probably still be waiting for them to send me "Minority Report".

Of course, this was just my personal experience. Your results may vary. And hey, who knows, maybe they have finally started to carry a few more copies of the new stuff. (Although their website says they carry 5x the number of copies of my local video store, they only have 20 shipping centers nation-wide; this means that the dozen video stores in my town STILL beat them, because they only serve my town.)

I also suspect that if you are one of those people who just found out that "The Next Best Thing" is available for rental and ordered it from Netflix, you'll probably get it. And you'll get it fairly quickly, in a really cool one piece mailing-and-mailing-back envelope, and if it's scratched they'll send you another one, and if you don't get a chance to watch it for a few days, they won't be calling you every day with increasingly threatening "reminders" to return it. But if you've already started paying 'em, don't expect to see "Biker Boyz" any time soon.

Netflix is for movie dilettants, not aficionados. I'm just sayin'.

Posted by Susie at 05:56 PM | Comments (4)

There are no stupid questions, only stupid customers

Poor John, he just got a brand new blog, and the riffraff are gathering already...

I think David and I need to get together and open up a can of whomp a** on that poopertrooper guy...

Posted by Susie at 09:08 AM | Comments (2)

July 18, 2003

I like bunnies but

I think anyone who deliberately buys cosmetics or other beauty products that advertise that they don't do animal testing is STUPID. I would personally rather that the manufacturer made sure that humans who use their product are not going to go blind, loose all their hair, or develop syphilis by first making sure that animals come out unscathed.

Just a thought to take to the drugstore with you....

[program note: two new candidates for the Bonfire here].

Heigh ho, it's off to work I go (oh, joy.....)

Posted by Susie at 11:10 AM | Comments (1)

July 17, 2003

Another annoyance ...

Frank is fiddling about with the format of his Blogroll Survivor thingee, probably so that the contestants in tribe F aren't starting to draw Social Security before their turns come.

I am REALLY snarky, today. And now I'm gonna be late for work.

Thanks, Frank!

Posted by Susie at 11:50 AM | Comments (3)

July 13, 2003

I'm irritable...wonder why?

Two quick rants:

#1 What the heck is the deal with weblogs.com? Every entry ping seems to come back as an error in the activity log. Sheesh.

#2 Why do blogs try and put cookies on my computer? I can understand if I tell the comments to remember me, but just by visiting? What's up with that, Serenity? I have to say "no" to four cookies every time I go to your blog...(which might be more often if I didn't have to fend off the cookies...)

Posted by Susie at 01:48 PM | Comments (3)

July 10, 2003

Attention!

Frank has moved up in the ecosystem system ratings! Hurray!

Now that the important issue is out of the way, I must address the slurs and innuendos that have been whispered about me in the comments while I was hard at work providing for the entertainment needs of the poor or miserly...
I am not Frank J! I am a WOMAN!

(Besides, statistics prove that he's 37% funnier than I am).

(Just because a woman has a crush, um, infatuation--admires a younger man is no reason to make her the object of ridicule!)

(Oh, and he has 28% more typos than I do)


Posted by Susie at 08:30 AM | Comments (3)

July 01, 2003

Bloggerial Coffee-Up

I went to the library to pick up the books I have on hold, and they didn't open for another hour. So I came back home to take a nap. And had the most bizarre dreams, which are fading too fast now for me to describe them. But I woke up exhausted.

So more coffee for Susie before she makes another attempt at the library.

And since I have never heard that it was against the law to type while incapacitated (while my pre-coffee driving would no doubt fall into that category) I am going to blog while waiting for the caffeine to take hold.

Well, I have this rant I've been saving for a rainy day. Let me drag it out of the cob-webbed strewn corners of my memory and see if all the parts are still there.

Ok, as my Loyal Readers are all aware, I manage a movie theater in my spare time. And it has come to my attention, in no uncertain terms, that human beings, movie patrons in particular, are slobs.

I'm not talking untidy. I'm not saying messy. I am accusing movie go-ers of full-bore, unmitigated, Oscar Madison-like disregard for any form of decency, common courtesy, Truth, Justice or the American Way.

Some (a few) patrons carry their empty popcorn bags and cups to one of the FIVE easily-identifiable trash cans adorning the lobby. Another small percentage sets their cups and bags on the arm rests, so they will be easier for the cleaning pixies to find. The rest--at least three-quarters--just seem to be of the opinion that if every square inch of theater floor within two feet of their seat has not been covered in a thick layer of spilled popcorn, sloshed pop, scattered Raisinettes and Gummi Bears, AND the packaging the treats originally occupied, then their movie-going experience was not worthwhile.

Some days I just want to put up a sign: THERE ARE NO CLEANING PIXIES.

Others, I am tempted to tell my clerks to just leave it--let the 4 o'clock customers sit in the trash of the 1 o'clock customers, and so on, so that by the time the 9:50 show rolls around, the patrons would be literally glued to the seats--or, at least up to their ankles in sticky trash. I wish I COULD do that and not get fired.....

Some shows are so bad that I pitch in to help the clerks clean. I've found apple cores (gosh! how come nobody told me we put in a produce department?), beer cans, whiskey bottles (empty, drat it!), condoms, baggies with popcorn brought from home, fast food wrappers, and every conceivable brand of bottled and cannned soda and juice and bagged or boxed cookies or chips or candy, none of which we sell.

So not only do people smuggle in contraband food items, they leave the evidence for us to clean up as well!

Of course, I can't DO anything I want to do, like yell out of the projection booth window: "Hey, you in the red shirt---I'll be over to your house later to grind Cheetos into your living room carpet and pour Dr. Pepper all over your kitchen floor!"

I would like to set up a little security booth, complete with burly guard and metal detectors, where we could confiscate smuggled snacks. Even if the confiscate-ees were too angry to buy OUR snacks, at least we wouldn't have to clean up the mess they leave with the detritus of theirs.

But, if we could afford that, we could probably afford cleaning pixies, and if we could afford cleaning pixies, then it would mean that we were actually making a profit, instead of just breaking even, and the only way to make a profit in the movie theater business is by selling concessions, since the movie studios get the money from the ticket sales....

...but that's the subject of another rant....

ADDENDUM: I realized that I neglected to make clear that one of the things that makes me angriest about the mess people leave is this:

When someone comes to the theater to see a movie, 90% of the ticket price goes to the movie studio that distributes the movie. So that over-priced popcorn pays the rent, the electric bills, the upkeep, the wages and salaries, the insurance, the exorcist--er, plumber--etc. etc.
Therefore, when people smuggle in their own snacks, leaving the trash behind, they have paid nothing to contribute to the clean-up of the mess they left. That's what really annoys me.

Posted by Susie at 01:32 PM | Comments (8)